Fandom: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Characters: Steve Rogers, Bette Davis, John Garfield, USO Tour Dancers (Marvel), Original Characters
Additional Tags: Golden Age Hollywood, Hollywood Canteen, World War II, Actors, Movie Studios, The Star-Making Machinery, Propaganda, someone's going to get his V-card punched, and by someone I mean Steve, Letters, Implied Bucky Barnes/Steve Rogers - Freeform
The talk of the town last night was Captain America’s star-spangled appearance at the Hollywood Canteen, where the ladies swooned and the gentlemen cheered. Rumor has it he will be meeting with studio heads to discuss bringing his patriotic man with a plan to the silver screen.
Oh look, it's another stupid WIP. Brought to you by my obsessions with Old Hollywood and thinking about what kind of actor Steve would be in the movie we see him in briefly in Cap 1.
All of this brought to me by puppies. If I ever try to sign up to foster a puppy litter again, shoot me. Just put me down before I even get close. I am numb with exhaustion, and I keep trying to find time to just write or do something other than clean up shit and pee, but it never happens. A lot of it is because the mama is not housetrained, and she will use potty pads but she misses more often than not, or tries to poop in strange places like she's upset and doesn't know what else to do. Always at the wee hours of the morning, too, and then first thing when I get up I'm cleaning poo off the little kiddie pool the puppies reside in, and I'm cleaning up her poo and puddles of pee, and oh my god, it hasn't been a week and already I am at the end of my rope. The laundry is never ending, because they pee and poop on the blankets of course, they're babies, and now that they're eating mush they are pooping real poo.
And then they're super cute and mouth on my fingers and lick my arms and hands and get all excited when they hear my voice and I'm like "oooooo" and almost all is forgiven. Mama will go outside during the day, but she has to eat pretty much all day long to nurse the pups so she poops constantly and that means at night, when I can't take her out all the time--or at least, I take her out at night, but she often just wanders around and doesn't do anything--I end up having to clean it up, and let me tell you, for a tiny, skinny, undernourished little 10 pound doggo, she poops for a dog about six times her size. And of course, there is, to me, no worse smell in the world than dog crap.
The babies also seem to love being active at night, and they whine and wail because Mum has taken to hanging out in her crate away from them as she gets closer to weaning, and they're like "whyyyyy have you forsaken us?" So far one of them--I think it's Kara Danvers, or it could be Winn Schott--has escaped the pool and I've had to go rescue them, you'd have thought they were being murdered. And Blues is hostile, of course, to Mum and so she's in a constant state of terror about coming out to the living room or office and she's already super, super timid and afraid, but when he's gone after her there hasn't been any contact though from the screaming you'd have thought he had cut her throat. I am just stressed the fuck out.
blackbird777 came down on Saturday and actually stayed with them all for an hour so I could go out and run some errands. It's tough to be away for long, what with all the problems and the fucking drama. Tomorrow I'll probably have to move them into a pen, which will be harder for the mother to get into and out of, meaning I'll have to be standing by a lot more. Ugh.
They are cute as hell and funny and their personalities are coming out, but wow, is this killing me. I'm trying to post at least a pic a day, if not video, on Tumblr and Instagram. Hopefully if I'm ever stupid enough to try this again, I'll look at my feed and remember this.
So is mum, to a certain degree, as she isn't really housetrained and has a lot of issues, which is typical for rescue dogs. She's been through a lot--emergency c-section, shelter, and may have come from a hoarder so of course has a skin condition and other serious problems. She's terrified of me because I had to give her a medicated bath first thing. And I need to bathe the pups too, but haven't yet.
Still--there is cuteness! And it might give you Joy!
I can never figure out how to put anything up on DW (this is still my biggest grrrr about the site), so I'm linking here:
Minute long video of no-holds-barred puppy fight at 3:30 a.m. : http://teatotally.tumblr.com/post/
Short video of snuggles plus Mom: http://teatotally.tumblr.com/post/
Sleepytimes pic: http://teatotally.tumblr.com/post/
My instagram and my tumblr are both under "teatotally" and I'm sure I will be posting more puppy and mom related joy in the near future. I am going to try to avoid the pics of me having poo and barf and pee related meltdowns or things like my pounding headaches and severe lack of sleep. Oh, wait…I guess I did. :-D
If you're in the Seattle area and would like to meet them, they will need socializing. I can't let them come in contact with other dogs until they get their vaccines in a couple weeks, but they are snugglable and need the socialization!
ETA: I keep forgetting to add: the best part of this is that it's the Supergirl litter! Mum is Cat Grant, and the babies are "Males = Tan male (Winn Schott) and black male (James Olsen) Females = Tan female (Kara Danvers), black and white female (Lucy Lane), black female with little white (Lena Luthor)"
In your own space, write about a moment in fandom that meant a lot to you. Leave a comment in this post saying you did it. Include a link to your post if you feel comfortable doing so.
A long, long time ago, when tapes were still the norm for people trading vids and there really was no viable streaming medium (and anything you put online had to be super low quality and the size of a postage stamp), feochadn and I were finishing up compiling a bunch of vids for what would become our first collection together, primarily because I really wanted a way to get our Magnificent 7 vids out there and Jo's Band of Brothers vid to Ebben? Ne andro lontana. I'd posted asking if people would be interested in a collection, and because she is one of the kindest people on the planet, killabeez offered to make us a DVD if anyone would prefer that instead of videotape. The times, they were a-changing, but there were still just as many people who had no way to play discs as had no way to play VHS tapes, and I was so blown away that not only could someone take our VCR-made vids and make a playable DVD but that she was volunteering to do so.
I made a poll to see how many people would prefer discs and there were enough, so we put together a master tape with all the vids, and sent them off to killa, and she sent me a test disc and I couldn't believe my eyes! It was magic! Sorcery! I had only just gotten a computer that was capable of vidding, but here were vids on a lossless medium! It was amazing. And then on top of that she created the title cards for each of the vids and I think if I recall correctly duplicated them for us so we could mail them out to people who had purchased them. It was amazing! And all I could do really was write fic with a pairing she liked, which still feels wholly inadequate. But it meant so much to me--I didn't have the technology, but I knew people were interested in the vids, and I wanted to move into the 21st century, but I didn't know how, and like so many times since then, killa's been my guiding light about how to do that, has helped me through tech problems that I don't know how to solve myself. ♥ ♥
In your own space, share your love for a trope, cliché, kink, motif, or theme. (More than one is okay, too.) Tell us about it, tell us why you love it, give us some examples and recs. Leave a comment in this post saying you did it. Include a link to your post if you feel comfortable doing so.
I've talked a lot before about my predilection for found families, how much I love friends to lovers, and a lot of other tropes. So this time I thought I'd go with a kink--I do not have a bulletproof kink, because writing quality is my overall dealbreaker and I will gladly forgive a lot for the things I love but not that much, you know? But the closest I can come is hair washing and shaving. I mean, I suppose any kind of ablutions given from one character to another--I have only very rarely indulged my kink in writing, or at least, in more than passing mentions, but I loooove to read it, especially if one character is injured and it's the other character doing the hair washing or the shaving or helping them bathe or whatever. But god, give me one character shaving the other (head, face…other things…) and I will probably melt if you have even the slightest writing skills, and if they're washing their hair I will squeal with joy.
I suppose that has something to do with why I've been more passionate about Steve and Bucky than almost anything I can remember, and why they've lasted so long for me: there's an inherent quality about Bucky post-Winter Soldier that gives Steve the opportunity to show his love through that kind of caretaking, plus Bucky has long locks that need tending and lots of stubble. :-D And pre-serum Steve is a great chance for Bucky's caretaking, too, although I can absolutely see that as a quality that brings out Bucky's personality--Steve's attraction to danger, getting injured, needing care, and Bucky being able to give that to him. Ack, now I almost feel a story coming on post-Civil War where Bucky has to work around being one-handed but taking care of Steve… (And if you have any good, well written hair washing or shaving recs in Cap fandom let me know!)
It's incredibly intimate to rely on someone to do those things for you, and it often leads to make-outs and/or sex, but I also love it when it's platonic, or at least not acted upon as sexual. I mean, don't get me wrong, I think washing someone's hair or shaving them is feckin' HOT, but I've also read it as platonic or familial and been super happy about it. It pairs well with a nice hurt/comfort, which I love too (see above re: someone being injured), or for people who are into sex kinks, aftercare.
One of my favorites that I could recommend is devilpiglet's Rock of Ages
I was trying to remember the times I've used it prominently, and I think that it's only been in a few: Don't Wait Up for Me for Steve/Bucky, Ciudad de Estrellas in The Fast and The Furious, and Broken-Hearted Savior in X-Files. I'm probably forgetting some (I can't remember most of my stories, it's sad, and possibly there was something in Buffy or Mag 7, but…who knows!).
In your own space, create a list of at least three fannish things you'd love to receive, something you've wanted but were afraid to ask for - a fannish wish-list of sorts. Leave a comment in this post saying you did it. Include a link to your wish-list if you feel comfortable doing so. Maybe someone will grant a wish. Check out other people's posts. Maybe you will grant a wish. If any wishes are granted, we'd love it if you link them to this post.
1. This is a hard thing for me, and something I've been fighting with myself over talking about for a long time. But I guess I might as well bring it up here. A few years ago, I had a hard drive crash and lost all the video files for the digitally remastered Media Cannibals vids, not to mention a lot of media I had ripped or downloaded for my own vids, and the originals of a number of my own vids that I only have less than stellar copies of, and can't replace with better copies now. The only way I can get those files (at least the MC ones, I can live without the other stuff even though it would be nice to have it), is to give it to a data recovery service. There's one near me, and I know from experience and people who do this that it'll cost somewhere in the range of $1,000-2,000, which I don't have. Or at least, I might be able to eventually pay for it, but the truth is, that's all I have for stuff I want to do, like go to a con or on a vacation, or stuff I need to do, like the animals or the house or whatever. If it comes to that, I'm not gonna spend money on data recovery, you know? Which is why it's sat there for years.
So I've talked about this with people and a lot of folks have said that for the MC vids and the possibility of us putting up a site with all the old MC vids (not remastered, just digitized and put online), they'd be willing to contribute to the data recovery, but I don't know that enough people would be interested to make it actually happen. I suppose any little bit would help, and I could try to make up the rest. We'd need those files if we're ever going to build a Cannibals vid space (a WHOLE other issue, which makes me cry, but I'll deal with that later), but something that might help me now is just having a sense of whether it's even worth starting a funding-help campaign or something--because things are hard for almost everyone I know now, and it's probably just going to keep getting worse, and I feel like this is a lot to ask people when people are losing homes, not able to pay vet bills or their own medical care, and so on. But just knowing it might be feasible would help me make a decision, before it becomes impossible to get any data off the drive. (And yes, I now have my external hard drives backed up to a service, but that drive WAS my backup, at that time, rather hilariously.)
2. Since that's a big ask, I guess the other thing is just the standard that I think most fan writers ask for: I'd love to see translations or podfics or artwork or fanmixes of any of my stories. It's just such a kick when someone makes a fanwork of your fanwork.
3. I'm trying to work on a vid where I'd like some external source. I got some stuff from a friend but I still can't find anything like what I'm looking for, and so maybe someone reading this might be able to direct me toward some media. I'd love some video footage that shows what looks like two (white) guy's hands together--holding hands, twining fingers, or just touching each other. This, close-ups of hands, is a thing that seems to be difficult to find in moving images that I can use and manipulate a little for the vid (it always seems to be what's identifiably male and female hands). I'd also love some atmospheric shots of maybe a white guy with dark hair walking or sitting alone, doing something that could seem melancholy, or even just landscape shots of like windswept beaches or cliffs or walkiing on a city street and brooding or something. Anything that conveys that sense of isolation or melancholy, that could be used to intersperse with the footage of the source material as a way to build atmosphere. Recs from YouTube or Vimeo are fine, music videos, clips from films, or trailers, or things that a person might be able to get hold of in the US would be great.
This whole thing really blows, man. It's so frigging annoying and I hate losing all this history.
I don't even know if it's actually using the new password, because I can't see it when I type it in, the box just stays blank. I know I'm using a really old browser, but the nice thing about DW was that that never seemed to matter; maybe it's mattering in the password part, but I can't tell.
In your own space, post recs for at least three fanworks that you did not create. Leave a comment in this post saying you did it. Include a link to your post if you feel comfortable doing so.
It's always good when this happens after a big challenge has just finished up!
I loved this Good Place story in Yuletide, it captures so much of what I love about the show.
Strange as Angels (3055 words) by burglebezzlement
Fandom: The Good Place (TV)
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Tahani Al-Jamil/Eleanor Shellstrop
Characters: Tahani Al-Jamil, Eleanor Shellstrop
Additional Tags: Burglary, Limitations of soulmates, Drinking, ambrosia, Michael's truth cube, Tahani's little Jianyu problem, Yuletide Treat
How do you solve a problem like Jianyu? Certainly not by breaking into Michael’s office with Eleanor’s help. Tahani wouldn’t dream of it.
This Losers story is utterly amazing. I just...I can't even.
Solid Copy (14668 words) by thefourthvine
Fandom: The Losers (2010)
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Carlos "Cougar" Alvarez/Jake Jensen
Additional Tags: Telepathy
Jensen shifted his gaze to Cougar. “I really thought that if I ever had to say the words ‘telepathic disaster,’ it’d be a lot cooler than this is turning out to be.”
This Kings story is the kind of thing we rarely ever get in this fandom--long, plotty, great writing, fantastic characterization.
Single Use Weapon (67407 words) by Fahye
Fandom: Kings (TV 2009)
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Relationships: Jack Benjamin/David Shepherd, Michelle Benjamin/David Shepherd
Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Loyalty, Politics
"The king is dead," says Samuels. "Long live the king."
A story about fealty and destiny, spies and secrets, and the things we do to hold onto power.
In your own space, share a book/song/movie/tv show/fanwork/etc that changed your life. Something that impacted on your consciousness in a way that left its mark on your soul. Leave a comment in this post saying you did it. Include a link to your post if you feel comfortable doing so.
Okay, so, speaking of Star Wars. My answer to this is that, but it's also something many people have tried to get me to put down in print for a long time, because it's a fannish history not a lot of people had (I know a couple other fans who were at a theatre opening night, now, but for a long time it was something I rarely heard about).
In 1977, there wasn't a lot of decent SF in theatres--it was a really crappy genre to be in love with if you were a fan and wanted to see things on a big screen. It was very much a literature fandom, and cons, what few there were, were fan-run experiences whose main focus was on lit, not film and definitely not TV. Star Trek had a modicum of respect, but that was it. For every 2001 or Silent Running, there was a Logan's Run or Saturn 5 or whatever. Most of it was schlock, is what I'm saying, and even the decent things were often quite flawed. I hung out with a lot of guys who were fans of the genre, some who were just plain movie buffs like me, and we'd been hearing about this movie being made by the guy who'd made American Graffiti and THX-1138. Starlog was THE movie magazine for SF and horror and fantasy fans, and that was where you got information--there was no Internet, nothing. You read newspapers and magazines and watched shows on TV that might tell you about new films.
I was a junior in high school in '77. My friends were telling me they planned to go see the movie when it opened, which, for a teen, was kind of a big thing; most of my friends were older than me by a year to three years, so it wasn't a big deal for them to schedule around as it was for me. I ended up ditching my last classes of the day (it was a Wednesday), the first time in my life I ever skipped class. I was one with the Rebels, and I didn't even know there were rebels in the movie! No one knew anything about the movie--there was just so little information. There'd been a few pics in Starlog, some discussions, speculation, and hilarious bits of news with incorrect names and stuff, but overall, we just didn't know what we were getting into.
Which was also part of the fun--it could have been just another schlocky piece of crap, which was honestly what we expected, or it could be cool, who knew--THX had been somewhat interesting, and American Graffiti was pretty good, but a lot of the excitement was simply that sense of going into something blind. A lot of people don't know that Star Wars only opened on 32 screens (but it opened up an additional dozen or so by that Friday because buzz was so high), so we had to go downtown to the UA150 here, which was this amazing round moviehouse that had a full, curved 70mm screen and that I still miss like hell to this day--I saw all my favorite movies of the '70s-'80s there and they were stunning. Since I and one other guy were ditching class, we waited to go stand in line for the second showing, in late afternoon.
Standing in line, outside of large cities, was still pretty unusual, too. It was for primarily the biggest of the big event movies and not something you tended to see in smaller cities or rural areas, and it was still common practice, too, for double features, and for an event movie to only play in a downtown theatre if it played a city at all. Single-screen houses were the norm for films; the UA was a really unusual theatre in that it had two large screens, but the 150 was the half of the theatre that had that glorious huge wraparound screen. But we dutifully drove downtown and got in line, somewhat close to the front, though where we were standing was outside the exit door at the rear of the auditorium.
People were filing out after the first matinee, and they all had this dazed look on their faces. We started asking them "what was it like?" "was it good?" and they were all speechless, just kept saying "you'll like it so much" or "you're gonna have suuuuch a good time." By the time they let us in, we were crazy psyched about it. In the lobby they had cardboard boxes with buttons that said May the Force Be With You. We had no idea what it meant, but a few of us picked them up; after the first screening, we ran back out to the lobby and gathered up as many as we could.
It's hard now, with it being part of the zeitgeist, to imagine what it felt like when the curtains parted, and parted, and parted to the entire width of that enormous screen, and then to hear those first notes and see the crawl begin. The crawl seems…normal, now. Enough that when I saw Rogue One I was heartsick that there was no effing crawl and I muttered darkly at my companion. But on May 25, 1977, it was mind-blowing. We just hadn't seen anything like it, not in modern-day cinema, certainly, and not on such a beautiful, majestic scale. And then the battle cruisers come into view and we gasped. We all, including my cynical, jaded, I've seen everything friends, dead-ass gasped when those ships came on screen, I swear to you. And when Darth Vader strode through the hall and spoke in James Earl Jones's voice, I thought I would faint from excitement.
I felt like no time had passed when we got to the end, and the music started up. I suffer from an inability to suspend my disbelief, I guess I've just been writing too long or something, but it is so vanishingly rare for me, even back then, to get completely immersed in a film or book, enough so that I don't notice time passing. And people cheered through at least a minute of the closing credits, people literally stood up in the theatre. My friends and I all looked at each other down the row, and I said, "I want to go again." And they all said hell yeah, so we stayed for the, like, early evening showing.
That was another thing that was so different, and that Star Wars changed completely--up to that time, you could not only often go to double, even triple features of first-run movies, but that also meant you could stay in the theatre without buying another ticket. The ushers came through to clean, but they didn't shoo us away; the friends who saw it two days later told me that they were clearing the theatres after the showing. After Star Wars, I never saw first run double features again, either.
While people were filing in for the next showing, my best friend was throwing handfuls of May the Force Be With You buttons out into the seats; people were mingling and talking, someone would catch a button and ask, "What's this for?" and we'd shout "JUST YOU WAIT" or they'd ask, "What was it like?" and he'd yell, "Prepare to get your mind fucked!" We were just silly and giddy and so so happy to have gotten a good, well made, interesting space fantasy that we didn't feel like we had to cringe in horror about having seen, the whole place felt like a big party. It was almost as exciting when the crawl came on screen the second time as it had been the first time. And then, because we had some kind of happiness high, we stayed for the last showing, too. I confess, during the really quiet times, it started to drag a little but I'd also been up since about six a.m. with nerves over skipping classes, so I was pretty ragged, plus, I knew I had to be at school the next day. My parents were used to me staying out really late, though, thank god, and I'd called them before the early evening show to tell them I might be home really late, but I had never expected we'd sit through all three showings.
The next day I wore my button to school, and everyone asked me what it meant. No one knew anything about it, had heard of it, but between my evangelizing and the news media, they quickly learned about it. I was so enthusiastic about it that, without knowing anything about conventions or fan groups, I hunted around till I found out about a group of local fans who wanted to put on a Star Wars convention, and started going to meetings. And I would like to point out, for anyone who identifies as female and gets shit about women not belonging in SF or insisting it's a new thing that they care? The makeup of that group was 70-30, in favor of women. I didn't stick with them long enough to see it come to fruition because of a lot of emotional issues that had come up around that time and family trauma, but it was the first experience I would have with organized fandom like that, which I would learn more about in a few years when I got invited to be a panelist at the big SF con in Seattle.
I was still pretty fannish about it after Empire, in a slightly different way--I collected every picture and article I could about Harrison Ford, and had all the things about Han and Leia in a box or scrapbook, because we didn't have the interwebs and that was really all you could do. By Return of the Jedi I was working as a film critic, and there was so much I didn't like about it that kind of overshadowed what I did like, and that was sort of the beginning of the end for me. By then there was also a lot of SF and other creative genre stuff coming out, and the landscape had changed considerably. I knew that a lot of those things--the scarcity of showings, the dearth of information, the specialness of the theatre--played a part in what made it so magical, and there was no way to replicate that or catch lightning in a bottle again. Then Lucas's endless tinkering with the originals while refusing to let us have them on home video, and the awfulness of the prequels, killed any enthusiasm I'd once had for it.
But those first few years, those were magical. I found a site that says Star Wars (it's always been Star Wars to me, I cannot think of it as A New Hope, it just doesn't compute) played longest in Portland, but I…sort of question that, because after Empire Strikes Back finished its run at the UA150, Lucas gave Seattle a gift for playing the first movie longer than any other city, which was to show the two films back to back for free, as part of our late summer arts festival here. It was the first time anyone had seen Star Wars onscreen since it had left theatres, and the first time it was shown with Empire. We waited in line all day, and I have to say, that was almost better than when we'd seen it the first time, and even more of a fan party. And on New Year's Eve 1977/78, the theatre had timed the Death Star to blow up at midnight, so we waited in bonebreaking cold for hours and hours just for the chance to see that--it was worth it, totally totally worth it.
I haven't even included stuff that isn't related to the movie, of which there were many monumental things that night for me, too. But to say that Star Wars changed my life is putting it very mildly. I literally can't imagine my life now if I hadn't cut class and gone to the theatre on May 25, 1977.
But! I also came out of it with a kickass vid idea that I would very much like to try to make for Escapade, however I have no useful source and right now things aren't working well that would allow me to get a workable copy of the first three movies (I don't need the prequels, thank god) and Force Awakens, and I haven't been able to find a ::ahem mumble:: rip of R1 that isn't an mkv, which I don't currently have a way to convert.
I don't suppose anyone out there might have workable copies for vidding of the first movies plus FA, or a copy of R1? I would dedicate not only the vid but any virtual first-born children to you if you could hook me up. Ugh, I haven't been this psyched about an idea for a while and yet this is the one time I have no freaking source.
In your own space, post a rec for at least three fanworks that you have created. It can be your favorite fanworks that you've created, or fanworks you feel no one ever saw, or fanworks you say would define you as a creator. Leave a comment in this post saying you did it. Include a link to your post if you feel comfortable doing so.
I thought I'd try to pick a theme again this time, and so I'm doing fanworks that were created for challenges. This first one was a Yuletide story I was always really proud of, though I think a lot of people were scared off by the slash, which I mostly included because of references to a past relationship Charlie and Ted had in prison.
The Moon Cannot Be Stolen (4190 words) by gwyneth rhys
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Charlie Crews/Ted Earley
Characters: Ted Earley, Charlie Crews
Additional Tags: Pre-Series, Friendship, Rescue, Prison, Past Relationship(s), Backstory, Origins
When Charlie found Ted.
The second was for Festivids a few years ago, for Kings, part of my Kings Winter, I guess, since both my Yuletide stories were for it as well.
[vid] Monsters (180 words) by gwyneth rhys
Fandom: Kings (TV 2009)
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Characters: Jack Benjamin, David Shepherd, Silas Benjamin, Joseph Lasile, Rose Benjamin, Michelle Benjamin, Thomasina (Kings), Ephram Samuels
Additional Tags: Fanvids, Video, Angst, Terrible Human Beings, Poor Jack, Festivids 2014
Here there be monsters.
And the third was for my entry in the Stucky Big Bang this past year.
Still Let Me Sleep (40500 words) by gwyneth rhys, Riakomai
Fandom: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Marvel 616
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers, Steve Rogers & Thor
Characters: Steve Rogers, James "Bucky" Barnes, Peggy Carter, Jimmy Jupiter (Marvel), Thor (Marvel), Natasha Romanov, Sam Wilson (Marvel), Heimdall (Marvel), Frigga (Marvel), Jim Morita
Additional Tags: Dreamsharing, Dreamscapes, The Land of Nowhere, Road Trips, Asgard, Grief/Mourning, See the USA in your Chevrolet (with an Asgardian prince), We're Dream Engineers
Series: Part 1 of Still Let Me Sleep
When the Valkyrie hits the water, Steve doesn’t die. Instead, he crawls out of the wreckage and finds himself in an amazing, confusing land that could be the alternate universe of Nowhere—or it could be his dreams. And he gradually realizes he’s not the only one. Steve doesn’t know if he’s even alive, but he’s certain of this: Bucky’s there with him, sharing his dreams, and outside their idyllic world, he’s suffering. Something is terribly wrong. Steve has to find Bucky—if he can. But how does he do that when he awakens in a new century where he feels like he’s all alone?
st_aurafina is doing a friending meme, which, since so many people are migrating here from LJ in the past few days, is a great way to start off the year, I think. I know there are plenty of people I'm still trying to find here.
And I will probably be doing the Snowflake Challenge, but starting a little late, hopefully tonight if I can get a few chapters of my book edit completed.
I'm not gonna go month by month since some months I didn't have anything, these are just the stories what I wrote:
How Do You Fondue? The little Valentine's Day fic
I Meant What I Said When I Said Until My Dying Day One of the interludes I was writing based around the Civil War trailers and my guesswork
Don't Wait Up for Me The WIP, where Bucky and Sam go to the place Bucky fell for some closure
All we've got (is what no one can break) The last of the interludes based on the trailers
Dedication A little tumblr fic I wrote for Memorial Day
Clean Skin A comment fic about Bucky in Bucharest (I feel like that should be the title of an adventure comedy, don't you?)
The Bucket Another comment fic for Civil War, about Three Caps in a Bug
Stealing Home The final story in the baseball series
Still Let Me Sleep My Stucky Big Bang entry, a dreamsharing epic
Sway With Me The coda to Still Let Me sleep
These Long and Better Days To Come A shrinkyclinks, nonlinear narrative fic I abandoned back last January 1st and finally finished in November
War Dogs A little Christmas fluff, Bucky and Steve and dogs
( Thinky thoughts part of the meme )
my final word count wasn't too terrible, all things considered:
So, I've mentioned I'm a terrible cook, but I am a very good eater--basically, I hate onions, but everything else is mostly fair game, within reason, and I LOVE me some finger foods. And one of the few things I can make well is hors d'oeuvres, as long as they're not terrifically complicated. I don't do it much anymore, though.
Once in a while, however, I make this really amazing artichoke spread with a nice little kick of hot pepper sauce that's way, way better than the usual kind of stuff you'll find at a store, though I'm sure that at least two of my arteries are closed now because low-fat it is not. But what I'm really good at is deviled eggs--standard, basic deviled eggs just will not do for me when I'm making them, they have to be interesting and there must be lots of different flavor combinations on the vintage midcentury modern deviled egg plates I've collected. One of my favorites is one I had amateur!chef!Bucky make for Steve in my fic Dream of Caramel: an applewood smoked bacon and brown sugar (or maple sugar, it works just as well) one that is just…to die for. I also really like a dill and capers one I've tried, and last year I made one with a pulled pork topping for the deviled egg mix that had a bit of smokey barbecue sauce in it. I love using different flavored salts in them, or things like smoked paprika or five-spice, and really there's no end to the kinds of stuff you mix up with egg yolks, plus it's really simple and largely idiot proof. It's also fun to bring to gatherings because people always give you this look like "how nice" and you know they think blah, deviled eggs, but then they eat one and they're all "what is in this OMG."
So Yuletide reveals were today but I am not posting about mine, because I just don't have the spoons for more shittery about it, at least not for now. I might at some point put it on my page with my name attached, or might orphan it completely, I don't know, but in the meantime I don't have to think about it.
I did have fun tonight, though, reading minim_calibre's amazing and often hilarious posts about writing two of my three Yuletide gifts (she was the author of the astounding 32k What's Your Number? fic I got, as well as the incredible pun-filled, brilliant Android Rock Paper Scissors commercial fic). It's hilarious because she had to be so super sekrit the whole time--we were texting constantly during the Yuletide process, doing write-ins together, discussing source material, and I was at her house on Boxing Day waxing rhapsodic over the stories while sitting right next to her. I had a sneaking suspicion she'd written my main story, but I didn't guess the Android treat--I wondered, a couple time, because I honestly don't know that many people who could make such deep-level puns about paper and paper-making history or name that many types of scissors, but I thought, no, what would be the odds? Pretty good, apparently! because she wrote both. But she was very good at being stealthy and sekrit and keeping me at arm's length for all these months.
Man, yeah, there's a lot about fandom of yore I miss, and I think a lot of it was that sense of we were in a small group of people who weren't known much, and so we were all in this together. Now it's this thing that's talked about endlessly in the media, there are people who have academic careers built on it studying us like we're lab monkeys, everything's out there and in public. Which--it's great because you don't have to be mentored into things anymore, you can start doing fandom sort of right out of the box and if you're a person in a hostile space or live somewhere remote, you can still have fannish connections with people, you don't have to have enough money to get to a con in order to make connections or find an ad in a magazine and write away for zines.
But the flipside is that we have these shitty-ass communities that mock and sneer at and attack fic writers and vidders and artists, we have people who steal fannish content and appropriate it, we have anon hate and all that kind of crap. We have corporations making money off of fans and thriving on our energies. I was talking with someone recently about how now that Yuletide is so huge, we have a lot of people who create sock puppets just to get gift fics and don't do anything in return, there are tons of people who participate who really only do it for themselves or to try to become popular in as many places as they can. We have these awful sites like Yuletide Coal, because sure, why not shit on the people who are providing this entertainment for free out of their own time as gifts for other people.
There's no way to put the genie back in the bottle, and I love that people who might not have been able to find fandom can now, but god, I miss that sense of community, I miss the world where the levels of wank and shittery were much lower, and there wasn't so much anonymized hatred out there for the cowards and mean girls. I was actually feeling like, the other day, I almost kind of missed the days of personal web sites for fic and web rings! Simply because it wasn't about this relentless popularity contest, and you didn't see fans getting attacked in their own story comments sections.
Certainly there were assholes back in the day, god knows there were plenty of them, but I honestly can't remember anyone ever saying "you should just kill yourself" because someone's story didn't provide them the proper level of free entertainment and apparently backbuttoning was too difficult for them. Certainly there were people who mocked or laughed at someone's fanfic or their fannish personality, but I can't remember the vitriol I've seen heaped on people or felt myself just because someone doesn't like your fanworks.
There's so much more to choose from, obviously, so much more fic and vids and art, and you don't have to pony up $20 for a zine all the time or go to cons so you can bid on original art. And that is cool, it really is. But I miss the...smallness of it, I guess, the community that felt a little stronger, a little more loving, and less fractured.
And to end on a more positive note, one thing I would have killed for back then, though? Digital media. There are times I hate like hell what's going on with the vidding landscape as programs disappear and codecs stop updating and media conglomerates make it harder to distribute vids, but holy hell is it so much easier to work, once you can get things finessed. I think about a vid like Hallo Spaceboy, with so many different types of source and being able to completely change the look of clips and "age" them and all that stuff...and I boggle. Of course the tech had to evolve, that's how it goes, but back then, oh the things we might have been able to do!
Can I import only the stuff that wasn't originally posted at DW and thus crossposted to LJ? I don't want to overwrite the original DW post with the LJ post if I can avoid it, and it's one of the main reasons I've never done this. I have quite a few years of LJ before I started posting from DW and cross-posting to LJ. I'm afraid that if I overwrite all the original DW posts, I'll lose all those comments, won't I? I have, for years, had way more comments in DW to a post than to LJ.
Also, I'm assuming I will lose all my memories of my own LJ posts, the ones I saved for easy access, if LJ goes away? Is there actually a way to back up the memories? Because for a couple years I was doing a lot of usage and writing posts, and that was way before tags, and movie recs, and the only way I have of finding those is to use the memories section where I saved them all by title.
Maybe I'm looking in the wrong place but I can't see any of this being addressed. Also, I have no time, I'm on deadline and way behind on both my work projects, so…I guess this isn't happening right away.
Ha ha ha, you know me so well! :-D
Okay, I'll try my best not to self-deprecate.
One thing that turned out pretty well is the slipped focus/blurs I used in the Kings vid I made a couple years ago for Festivids, Monsters. I'd wanted to try to mimic a style I'd seen in a music video, but I realized really quickly that I couldn't really do what I'd seen, I didn't really have the tools and the type of footage, nor the technical skills, so I thought I'd try to sub in something that wasn't quite the blurred, oversaturated thing they were doing but was at least a little blurry. The first test clip I used it on worked really well, I thought, and so did a friend, and so I experimented on using it in different moments, different types of spots where I thought it showed Jack's messed up head. Overall I think it went really well and added an extra layer to his struggle in that vid.
Another editing choice I made that I really ended up liking was the way the helicopter sounds of the spoken word stream of consciousness stuff in the middle meshed with the clip of Steve being arrested after discovering Bucky's alive in Orange Crush. I knew the song would be a perfect backdrop for parallels in Steve and Bucky's stories, but once I was trying to figure out what the hell Michael Stipe was actually saying there, I had the epiphany that I didn't need to worry about what he was saying that much--I didn't need to find any good clips to match because I had a helicopter! And the entire sequence of Steve and Sam and Nat being taken down on the bridge fit perfectly there, plus, I had a helo! I still just love how that turned out.
And actually, I'm still really pleased with a lot of the editing choices I made in that vid (the way I dissolved from war-era Steve and Bucky to their modern versions, the shots for the orange crush, the aforementioned parallels), but one of the others that meant the most to me was how I introduced Bucky's section, because it's the same feeling I had with Hallo Spaceboy when I introduced Bucky's section in that. In OC, there are these sharp cracks, I think drumsticks hitting together? and in between scenes with Steve I put shots of Winter Soldier Bucky on those cracking notes, really fast, almost subliminal, and I really loved that. It's not quite the same thing, but in Spaceboy I was using space scenes from Contact, and there was this green space gas clip that ended up being perfect for introducing Bucky.
Cesperanza had suggested a clip there and I'd misremembered what she'd said, so I laid in that green space clip with the wrong Bucky clip to introduce his section of the vid, and when I sent it to her she was all "It's great! I love it!" but I was all OOPS NO I DID THAT WRONG. So I put the original clip she'd wanted and dissolved to the green space gas and then to Bucky's close up where he's trying to figure out what these memories are that are assaulting him. I told her, when I sent the corrected version, how much I liked it because it was pinging my synesthesia--there's a blurred green streetlight behind Bucky that melds with the green space that melds with the greenish tint to the room around Bucky's face, and we both were doing the text equivalent of jumping up and down and squealing. I still can watch that two seconds of vid over and over. ;-D
Anyway, getting back to things:
For the 27th, kirbyfest asked If there was a cancelled TV show you could bring back, which would you pick? With the same cast (this is a fantasy, so pretend this is totally possible even if someone has passed away), or rebooted with a new cast?
Yes, hands down, Now and Again. It was a brilliant, witty, clever, unique show with some of the most amazing performances (Dennis Haysbert's Dr. Theo Morris at the top of them) and musical selections and spot-on New York guest stars, and thanks to a pissing contest between CBS (the network) and Paramount (the production company), CBS cancelled it after one of the cliff-hangeriest endings I've ever seen. I would resolve that cliffhanger stat, of course, and pick up right where we left off, so I'd also need a time machine because 16 years have passed. :-D It had mild sci-fi, action, romance up the wazoo, and just…tonally, cinematographically, acting-wise, there was nothing like it. Over the years I've seen it cut up (the original opening sequence was over 20 minutes long), chunks cut out that were crucial to the story, and there's apparently a DVD version with none of the amazing music they used (I don't even know if they allowed Dr. Morris to, when his human creation awakens for the first time, sing "Close to You"). It's just a travesty how badly this incredible show was treated, but if I could bring it back, I would treat it like my most precious baby.
December 28: anoel What are some of your favorite childhood books?
The weird thing about being this old--and having moved so much in my early life--is that I can't remember the names of the books anymore! When we were really little my sister and I were in the Weekly Readers Book Club, and we got monthly shipments of about ten books, five for sis_r and five for me. I remember one time getting so excited about our books being there, and Mom was on the phone, and us running around and around her while she tried to talk on the phone, getting wrapped up in the long phone cord, and my mom just losing her shit. After she hung up she told us we couldn't open the book box till later as punishment, so my sister picked up the phone (this was one of those heavy old '60s phones) and bopped me in the eye with the handset, pow, two black eyes and when we were finally allowed to look at our books, I couldn't read them. One of the books in the shipment was one of my favorites--all I remember is that it had a girl witch, and it was bright and colorful, but that's all I remember (I can't believe this: I found it! It's called The Witch of Hissing Hill and here's an Etsy seller with a copy. I don't think this has survived into the modern era, and one Etsy seller was even advocating tearing it up for scrapbooking needs, arg). I think another one that I loved dearly was in that shipment, or it could have been another time: Ping, the story about a little duck on the Yangtze River.
I wore out two copies of The Velveteen Rabbit--I read it so many times and I carried it everywhere I went, so both copies disintegrated in rainy Seattle, as you can imagine. I don't remember a lot of kid's books, because I was reading at such a high level that they let me go into the older kids' libraries and I wanted to scope out more "grown-up" books, so a great deal of what is really crucial to people I know from their experience reading it as a kid is lost on me, the little showoff, bad form Past Me you missed out on some cultural touchstones. I do remember that I'd loved Where the Wild Things Are and that I discovered what might be my actual favorite forever book in a section away from Maurice Sendak's other books because it was so "grim": Higglety Pigglety Pop: or, There Must Be More To Life. I…that book. It is just so creepy and weird and I loved it and I thought Jenny and I could have been the best of friends.
Later, in my pre-teens, I discovered this insanely creepy book about dreams kids have, where this photographer tried to re-create different children's dreams and most of them were these bizarre nightmarescapes. I checked that book out so many times from the local library that the librarian started making sarcastic notes on the checkout card. But once it was gone from that library, I was never able to find it again, and a few years ago I asked for help on MetaFilter and lo and behold, someone actually knew right away what the book was: The Dream Collector by Arthur Tress. One of these days I might still try to buy a copy of that, though some of them still make me shudder even as an adult.
Others I remember liking were the Danny Dunn series, and I think I loved reading Nancy Drew even though it frustrated the shit out of me with all the girly nonsense and the sexism back in the day. I read all the Hardy Boys, too--I often gravitated to books that were way, way too adult for me (Valley of the Dolls, anyone?) or they didn't like me reading because they were for boys, but I was interested in adventures and being free to do whatever you wanted, and there weren't a lot of titles back then for a kid like me.