Vid beta?

Jun. 21st, 2017 06:00 pm
gwyn: (vids)
Would anyone be interested in betaing a Star Wars vid? I have some tweaks to make but if everything goes well on the (ugh gross awful) colonoscopy tomorrow, I should be able to have a copy ready by tomorrow evening. The bad part is that it's due on Friday, so I kind of don't have a lot of time.

It's the original trilogy and Rogue One and The Force Awakens if that matters.
gwyn: (flashpoint asshat)
You know, I'm well aware that I'm not the kind of fan writer that people go "oh, she posted a new story, I'm going to go read immediately." But having someone say they saved your story till they ran out of good fic is…just astoundingly tone-deaf, nasty, and demoralizing.

Thursday I'm having a dreaded medical procedure that I've been avoiding for years. Now that I'm officially an Old, my doctor's wanted me to have a colonoscopy, especially since my twin died of cancer, any kind of screening test is pretty important--and we don't know any other medical family history, since I'm adopted. I really, really hate bodily functions things. Like, I'm nearly phobic about talking about it, and I flap my hands and sing la-la-la really loudly whenever people talk about it. So I really, really do not want to do this, but since the fucking Republicans are determined to take away any health care I can have, and I earned so little the previous year that I qualified for a lower deductible, my doc and I decided to take ALL the tests this year. I just had a new MRI for my back (nothing useful, still nothing to be done that will really help), and now this, and there's some other things I'm hoping to do later on while I have the chance.

I have a bit more to write on the next chapter of Celluloid Hero and then should be able to send to beta and post, then I have to get started on the pod-together story, and meanwhile I'm desperately racing to finish this Star Wars vid for the Premieres show at Vividcon. Still have a little under half to go, it's taking forever and making me cry. Why can't I find a nice, horizontal hobby where I can lie down and not be in agonizing pain?
gwyn: (work feh infinitemonkeys)
I guess because I don't have enough on my plate stressing me the fuck out lately all the time, I've decided to sign up for the [community profile] pod_together challenge where writers and podficcers work together to create something specifically to be podficced. I've never done any challenges besides Yuletide until the Stucky Big Bang last year, and I'm doing the Cap Reverse Big Bang (my posting date is June 12, just saying--I don't expect this fic to go anywhere, but at least now I can say I've done something other than the disastrous SBB). This seemed different, and I figure it's probably one of the few shots I have at seeing something podficced--part of the fun is the idea of seeing if I can create something with that in mind, it really does feel like a challenge. Plus it's smallish, so that's helpful, and the minimum word count is 1,000, which is doable even with all the stress stuff. Most of which should be done by the time I'd need to write. (If you're interested in the challenge, signups look like they close June 3, so still a couple days.)

There's something really squeeful, for me, about having fanworks of your fanworks, maybe you get jaded and it's no big deal when it happens a lot to you, but it's so rare for me that I still get excited. Which I wish I didn't--in the past year or so I've been told that someone podficced Dream of Caramel: or, a Recipe for Disaster like, over a year ago, but that they had to edit it and at this point I've come to accept that it will never see the light of day; I've had at least four people ask if they could translates fics into Russian, and got really excited about that, but again, they will likely never see the light of day; and had someone mention wanting to make a playlist, and again…you get the picture. I should know better than to get excited, and yet every time I do, and every time I get disappointed and then feel like a putz for doing so. It's not that I can read the other languages, it's just…it's the thing I love most about fandom, this unique fannish thing where we create works off of each others' works, a circular world where we're in cahoots. The podfic thing is the heartbreaker, for me--I could actually listen to that, and that story in particular always seemed like it could be fun because it has a built-in soundtrack, and I get sad every time I think about it. Anyway.

The Vividcon premieres vid is not…going. And the deadline is fast approaching, I don't know if I can do this in the time I have. I still don't have the original trilogy footage. Arg. I'm in full panic mode right now, I also found out that the copy of the particular remix of the song I have is protected, it's so old--back when iTunes put restrictions on using the songs. So I have to deal with that too. It's easy to find other remix versions but the one I want is harder to find. I hate everything right now.

The vertigo is getting a little better--there are moments where it's still unpleasant, usually when I'm getting up from bed or a chair, but yesterday I was able to get through the whole day without feeling like I was going to ralph if I moved too quickly. I still can't walk a straight line, and have to be careful not to tilt my head up or down much, but maybe it's on the mend? Who knows.
gwyn: (vids)
Might there be anyone willing to beta my Club Vivid vid? It still needs a few things smoothed out and credits, but since it's been such a tricky vid for me to make, I would love a different set of eyes on it. It's Steve Rogers with Sam and Bucky and Peggy. The deadline is the 12th and so it would be something I'd need input on pretty quickly.

One of the reasons I've pushed it so far up against deadline is that I've been battling vertigo for over a week now, and I keep thinking it'll go away because I've been doing my exercies to get the particles back where they belong, but it's still hanging around, making me have trouble focusing, etc. I have an MRI for my back scheduled for Friday and I really hope it's gone by then, but at this rate, I don't know. The first few days were pretty brutal--the usual fight not to vomit, not being able to sleep because the room wouldn't stop spinning, etc. It's really compounded by my spine issues--I can't sit for long, but standing all the time isn't an option either, and so when I lie down to save my back from screaming agony, it makes the BPPV worse and then I'm fighting not to throw up. They tell you to avoid reclining chairs and to sleep with two pillows, neither of which are options for me because of pain levels. So damned by spinning and vomiting if I do, damned by severe pain if I don't. Bleh.

I have to get started on a premieres vid, too, but I haven't been able to do that either. Too much stuff. I really want to do a Star Wars vid, but getting workable copies of the first three movies seems to be a challenge I can't meet (my dvds, as an example, were so locked down by Luscasfilm's drm that I've never found a program that could rip them) and when I've looked at torrents all I find are mkvs. I'm a little nervous about trying to remove drm from Force Awakens and Rebel One, too, but I'm so in love with my idea that I can't quite let go of it. Vidding is hard, yo.
gwyn: (walken wonderland)
For [profile] daria234 : What editing choices in your vids are you most proud of? Pick 1-3 and explain why. No self-deprecating allowed :)

Ha ha ha, you know me so well! :-D

Okay, I'll try my best not to self-deprecate.

One thing that turned out pretty well is the slipped focus/blurs I used in the Kings vid I made a couple years ago for Festivids, Monsters. I'd wanted to try to mimic a style I'd seen in a music video, but I realized really quickly that I couldn't really do what I'd seen, I didn't really have the tools and the type of footage, nor the technical skills, so I thought I'd try to sub in something that wasn't quite the blurred, oversaturated thing they were doing but was at least a little blurry. The first test clip I used it on worked really well, I thought, and so did a friend, and so I experimented on using it in different moments, different types of spots where I thought it showed Jack's messed up head. Overall I think it went really well and added an extra layer to his struggle in that vid.

Another editing choice I made that I really ended up liking was the way the helicopter sounds of the spoken word stream of consciousness stuff in the middle meshed with the clip of Steve being arrested after discovering Bucky's alive in Orange Crush. I knew the song would be a perfect backdrop for parallels in Steve and Bucky's stories, but once I was trying to figure out what the hell Michael Stipe was actually saying there, I had the epiphany that I didn't need to worry about what he was saying that much--I didn't need to find any good clips to match because I had a helicopter! And the entire sequence of Steve and Sam and Nat being taken down on the bridge fit perfectly there, plus, I had a helo! I still just love how that turned out.

And actually, I'm still really pleased with a lot of the editing choices I made in that vid (the way I dissolved from war-era Steve and Bucky to their modern versions, the shots for the orange crush, the aforementioned parallels), but one of the others that meant the most to me was how I introduced Bucky's section, because it's the same feeling I had with Hallo Spaceboy when I introduced Bucky's section in that. In OC, there are these sharp cracks, I think drumsticks hitting together? and in between scenes with Steve I put shots of Winter Soldier Bucky on those cracking notes, really fast, almost subliminal, and I really loved that. It's not quite the same thing, but in Spaceboy I was using space scenes from Contact, and there was this green space gas clip that ended up being perfect for introducing Bucky.

Cesperanza had suggested a clip there and I'd misremembered what she'd said, so I laid in that green space clip with the wrong Bucky clip to introduce his section of the vid, and when I sent it to her she was all "It's great! I love it!" but I was all OOPS NO I DID THAT WRONG. So I put the original clip she'd wanted and dissolved to the green space gas and then to Bucky's close up where he's trying to figure out what these memories are that are assaulting him. I told her, when I sent the corrected version, how much I liked it because it was pinging my synesthesia--there's a blurred green streetlight behind Bucky that melds with the green space that melds with the greenish tint to the room around Bucky's face, and we both were doing the text equivalent of jumping up and down and squealing. I still can watch that two seconds of vid over and over. ;-D
gwyn: (walken wonderland)
Today is: what is something you've always wanted to do in a vid that you haven't done yet? (I'm thinking of form, but if it's musical or fannish, that's okay too) for [personal profile] cesperanza

Oh man, so many things, honestly, but they are all things I need to be far more competent for, and to know how to use AfterEffects and be able to figure out how to use Premiere, which bewilders me, and get it to actually function the way that it supposedly does for apparently everyone else except me.

One of the few things that isn't oriented solely to technology and a specific program is using stills. I have this vid I've been trying to make since 2014 that I can't seem to actually make (partly it's a problem with lack of video, which I'd hoped Civil War would rectify but...not so much), partly it's a problem of finding the narrative, but on occasion I've been trying to re-examine it as a stills-focused vid, or at least stills heavy. I don't know if you remember a Sentinel vid back in the day that was nothing but stills of the series set to a Sarah McLachlan song, but soooorta like that. I mean, not exactly, and not like the original songvid slideshows of the earliest days of fan vids, but doing a sort of collage effect in a way, building a narrative through still shots rather than just using them to illustrate a word or line.

And not to be grandiose because I'm definitely not pretending to be Chris Marker, but I loved that storytelling approach in La Jetee, that lingering effect you get with still images over music or words, that hazy, dreamlike state. Or it might work well to use the stills for choruses and have verses be in the active motion clips, I don't know, because I haven't tried noodling with it yet. (Insert offer for anyone who'd want to team up and work with me on this here.)
gwyn: (buckaroo jidabug)
So…that was an…eventful week.

Last Thursday, wickedwords and I were heading out around noon for VVC, and our flight got delayed for at least 45 minutes, so there was some frantic texting with astolat about dinner plans because we'd be coming in so late (I swear both of us actually thought the tickets she bought for us were for the 10 am flight), but then poor astolat ended up being delayed even longer than us due to the thunderstorms around everywhere. Turned out the restaurant closed at 9, which, what the hell, so it was Outback for us, but we got to hang and unwind a little, and catch up, and she saved my sanity by having extra earplugs, which I'd forgotten to pack. It was hilarious on the outbound flight, though: while we were waiting to board, we were just loud enough that jarrow heard us and came over to say hi, because he was on the same flight. Rache and I got seated, her in the middle seat, me in the aisle, and after a few minutes of people coming down the aisle I heard her guffaw and looked up to see jarrow there--he had the window seat next to us. We laughed and laughed--and it was great because he and I were both writing fic and that way you definitely don't have to worry about hiding your laptop with your slash on it.

Chicago was fucking hot--like, knock you back when you step out on the jetway from the plane hot. And I struggled almost the whole time with it, even when it was raining and the heat index dropped a little. We at least got to the store on Friday for some stuff, and I didn't feel like I was going to drop from heat stroke, but man, there were definitely days on this trip that I thought it might happen.

Someone had reblogged an old fic announcement post about Dream of Caramel, which had generated a little flurry of interest in the fic, and more reblogs, so that was an unexpected, rare little bit of pleasantness that made my weekend a lot brighter. Friday night was the premieres show this year, and I'd been more than a little surprised to see, when I got my reg stuff on Thursday, that the vid cesperanza and I made this year was listed first. OMG the pressure! It seemed to go over well, and I posted it that night when I was hanging out in destina's room, though I was a tiny bit tipsy and made a bunch of typos.

I did not expect the flurry of reblogs and comments and stuff! That doesn't usually happen for my vids so it was very cool but also kind of overwhelming and I spent Saturday in a bit of a haze (pleasant, don't get me wrong, but definitely a haze). Got dressed in my Bucky Barnes red henley and dark gray t-shirt, dark jeans, and shooting glove and baseball cap, for Club Vivid, and it was so funny watching people look at me and do a doubletake, thinking I wasn't in a costume and then realizing that I was, and who I was dressed as. I didn't dance as much as I wanted to, because of the aforementioned overheating--I just couldn't seem to get my feet under me half the time, between the Chicago steambath and the hot flashes and all that. My vid, Dangerous, was early on in the show, and for once, the entire dance floor didn't empty out when my vid came on! Yay! Plus it got the anxiety out of the way so I could enjoy the rest of the show. Absolutedestiny brought back some great old vids and it was really a wonderful show this year, I thought.

Sunday was more vid shows and panels and hanging out, and watching the number of notes climb on tumblr--it was all so fascinating. I didn't attend a lot of panels or shows over the weekend, preferring to hang with people I don't get to see much like destina and kassrachel and dorinda and par avion and talitha78, and it was really, really nice to spend time with people and just talk, especially when people were willing to indulge my desire to talk about Steve and Bucky or go get a cruller with me. :-D

Because of the Sebastian Stan fiasco, I was still planning to stay in Chicago for a few days, and I took an Uber into the city. I was planning to work on my Stucky Big Bang story and hang with devilpiglet and a couple other Chicago people--before I left, the artist who signed up for my fic sent me two additional sketches for my story and they are so amazing, it was so inspiring to see art come from my words, I just…it really made that push to get toward the end of the story so much easier, and I'm so excited to see the final drawings they do.

Monday night I spent with devilpiglet at a nice Thai place across from the hotel, and when I got back I had an email from cesperanza asking me about the YouTube file for our vid--she said there were some repeating clips and I thought, no, that must be some kind of browser issue, but nope, it was…completely, utterly borked, for the entire second half of the vid. It was SO bizarre--there were at least a dozen clips that basically cut off and then repeated, which in some cases cut the already tight editing down and made it look like I had flash frames in and that I was a terrible editor. I was sick to my stomach. There wasn't a thing I could do about it, though, except put a note on the YT file and the AO3 page and let people know they might want to wait till I was home to link or rec. I'd watched the vid at least twice a day from the moment I posted it, because I don't trust YT and I was using a different codec, but it was always fine, until, apparently, it wasn't.

I also checked Dangerous and the beginning of that one was messed up. I didn't sleep at all Monday night, I was ragged and exhausted with trying to figure out what had happened, and angsting over the whole thing. In the morning on Tuesday I checked Dangerous first, and it was…fine. But I noticed YT had removed the 1080p quality setting and now only allowed a max of 720p. I just had no idea what to make of anything, but I went out to Starbucks for breakfast and then I wanted to walk over to the Miracle Mile, because I'd never seen that when I've been in Chicago before.

When I got there I opened up tumblr, just to check how the vids were doing, and saw that I had a personal message from someone, and it turned out to be the person who's doing a new stucky fic recs site that is really well written and thoughtful. She said she'd been reading my stuff and liking it, and that made me just…forget all about the Sturm und Drang of the Spaceboy fiasco, but then she added that she'd written up a rec for I can't remember how this started (but I can tell you exactly how it ends), my Winter Soldier-goes Groundhog Day story, and I swear I nearly swooned right there in Starbucks. Like, I never expected in a million years that I, a no-name fan, would ever get a story recced there. It made me feel so much better. I got a handful of comments and kudos from it, which, combined with the comments on Spaceboy and Dangerous, left me feeling better enough to spend the day writing in my room instead of rending my garments and screaming at YT, with breaks for a swim and seeking out food. Then devilpiglet and I hit the hotel bar and had a light dinner and she introduced me to rumchata (in the form of milkshakes) and OMG where has that been all my life? I am buying a bottle of that next time I hit the store, for sure.

We'd planned to go to the Shedd aquarium on Wednesday, but I kind of hit a wall, so she took me to see the beach at the lake, another thing I've never really done, but…I totally crapped out on her. The anxiety about the vid had kind of done me in, and the heat was killing me. We did stop to eat at a cool '70s diner place, and walked through some beautiful neighborhoods with amazing houses, and went to this really neat architectural salvage place, and then she took me to the airport. We got there earlier than expected, but I was so glad we left when we did after she texted me later and told me about Obama's visit basically shutting down the expressway, so yay for that. Of course my flight was delayed, but I hung out for a while at this nice bar we discovered a few years ago in the L terminal, and the bartender admired my Bucky Barnes shirt. Needless to say I gave him a nice tip. After some more delays it was home again, home again, and I got home very late last night to an insanely loving kitty cat.

This morning I got up and started to work on exporting a new video file to upload to YT, start fixing things. One of the things I hate about YT is that you can't fix a video, you have to reupload to a whole new page, and that means all the links will break and whatnot. But I got a text just as I was opening up Final Cut, from cesperanza, saying that it seemed to be playing fine, so we talked about it on the phone while I watched it and yup, it was totally unborked. I have this once-bitten feeling, like I can't trust it's not going to happen again, but as she put it, it's a chance to reblog the announcement and whip up more interest, so that was today. I have no idea why it happened, I can only assume YT made some kind of code change like they're always doing (the timing on the vid even changed, and I notice it still only allows 720p), but I feel like they took about 6 years off my life and they owe me, the bastards. So right now it's fine, and if you were waiting to watch because of my notes on the AO3 page, go cast your eyeballs upon it and enjoy!

And now I'm very sleepy, still on Chicago time, but I think I will see how much writing I can do tonight, and hope to finish this damn story by tomorrow. Posting deadline is the 29th, but wow, do I have a lot of editing and rewrites to get through, and I don't want to wait till the last minute. I've had enough of bad things happening for a while, and I feel like that's courting fate.

It's been a wild rollercoaster of a week, full of drama and trauma and ongoing saga, and lots of people I love and really sweet things happening and vids and fic and just a flurry of Things That Don't Usually Happen to Me.

Vid show?

Mar. 2nd, 2016 05:19 pm
gwyn: (bucky & steve alley purple)
I was curious--did anyone go to the vid show at Escapade? This is the first year I sent in a vid when I wasn't attending, and I wondered how the vid I sent went over. I haven't heard a word from anyone who was there, so of course have no idea of the audience response, and it sort of disappeared into the ether, so I'm kind of afraid it bombed or something. Ugh.


I have to get myself motivated to vid for Club Vivid, now, too, when I don't really feel like it. I can't believe it's March already and I haven't even started, yikes.
gwyn: (Default)
I didn't make many vids this year due to feeling like a failure and the constant excrutiating pain, so this should be easy (she said). Links go to the vid on AO3, rather than YouTube or Vimeo, but you can click through to watch them there.

From first to most recent:

Monsters 
This was the vid that I made for Destina for Festivids. I stumbled on this song while I was actually wringing my hands about finding the right music for the vid I had in mind--I was working on a project and still formulating things in my mind when the season of Elementary opened, and at the end there was this intriguing music at the end. I could just barely hear it, and there were only about five words sung, but I just thought, wow, that's it. Little did I know what an ordeal it would become to find out how to get my hands on a high quality version of it. The artist who'd released it later changed his performing name, and the only place that had it was UK iTunes, which refused to give it to me, and I spent days trying to track down where it would be in US iTunes or some other place I could buy it. It really was the perfect song, and I loved the slow build, and the energy of the beat behind such quiet words and ethereal sounds. The whole thing was perfect for painting a picture of Jack and the terrible life he has, surrounded by monsters, trying not to become one himself.

Sorrow
I
 made this for Escapade almost at the last minute. I have been trying to do a vid since I saw Winter Soldier for the first time, and there's just really not the footage I want, so after struggling some more with it, I gave up and did this, which had been sitting in my heart for a long time. I felt like this came together really well, though I was a bit worried it would be over the top; I had someone come look at it unfinished and she said I made her cry, so that made me feel like it succeeded.

Wasp Nest
I'd finished all my Vividcon vids, and while I was working on them, I kept thinking about Natasha--and about the fact that there's this thing I kind of hate where fans decide that a certain fandom or character can only be represented in vids by a certain type of music. I've had that thrown in my face before, when I went, I don't know, off what people consider acceptable, and I really chafe at that. I think it's so narrow and unimaginative and restricting, and all the Natasha vids I've seen are either to these girl power songs or fighty-beaty action music. (Seriously, do you have any idea how many vids there are to Fight Song for her or Melinda May? Gah.) I never see things that feel like an internal conversation inside her heart, or ones that examine other parts of her than just fighty girl power stuff. So I wanted to do that, and I knew people would slam the song as being too soft, and of course…they did. Whatever. I love how this turned out, and I love using vids to explore other parts of a canon or a character than what people expect.

Heroes (We Could Be)
I wanted to make this for Club Vivid for over a year, but I was worried about the intro being beatless, so I asked ahead of time. I felt like it might not fit for the dance party, but it got in anyway, and I was super happy with how it turned out. It was terrible to make though--I spent way too much money on stuff for clips, buying movies and episodes and whatnot. And some of the Agent Carter eps would not work for love or money. Everything was in different aspect ratios…and then I couldn't figure out how to make a thumbnail that conveyed all the women in the vid because I am not an artist and don't have those tools. I asked M'lyn if she would be interested in making me a graphic and she made my amazing title background and thumbnail art, and I love it so much. I stare at it happily all the time.

Titanium
I really wanted to make this back when the show ended, but I decided to wait and make it my Vividcon premieres vid because I didn't have any other ideas. It was definitely a challenge--my iMac's video card died right before the deadline, and I thought I'd lost the hi-def Agent Carter one-shot file that someone sent me, and some of the Agent Carter on ABC eps wouldn't work…it was like being the Job of vidding or something. I thought I'd lost the entire vid too, when they went to replace the video card. Thank god I didn't. Then YouTube banned it. Vimeo had taken down almost all my vids a few years ago, unbeknownst to me, so I was reluctant to put it there, but I didn't have time to get in touch with Critical Commons at that point before I left for the con, so it ended up there. I still wait to find out they've removed it. The worst part is that there are other vids to Titanium on youtube, but I am nervous about resubmitting it. I was really happy with it, despite the torment, and Destina gave me an amazing beta review.

Havoc in Heaven
I put myself up for sale in the Vividcon auction this year, because I'd had such a fun time the last time I did it. I was so lucky to be bought by killabeez--we'd talked about this song for a Sunshine vid before, and when she played it again for me the day the auction was closing, I was sekritly hoping she would buy me so I could do it. We discussed a bunch of other songs and fandoms, but this was the one I thought, yeah, I can do something with this. I have synesthesia, and it manifests in some different ways, but a big one is that sounds have colors. Some things can be quite psychedelic when I'm listening to music. I could feel the visuals of the movie in the musical notes, and despite some tech issues, this came together really well, especially because Killa kind of grokked what I was talking about and she was really good at explaining to me how she saw the story of the vid. It was perfect synchronicity! I'm so glad I made this--it might be a minuscule fandom, but I got to bond with bironic and talitha78 at the con over this, and it's, I felt, not like a lot of other vids you see at Vividcon.

Way Down We Go
The Captain America: Civil War trailer burned a hole in my heart. It gave me so much stuff I was worried about ever seeing in that ridiculously overstuffed clown car of a cast--Bucky and Steve gazing into each other's eyes! A touch! Bucky on Steve's six! Bucky remembering! I was itching to make a vid, and this song arrived in my life right at the moment the trailer did. There's really only about less than two minutes of footage to work with, since so much of the trailer is the damn logos and black space. So I filled it out with Cap 2 stuff, and I think it worked well--it's about 90 percent trailer, and that's still a good ratio. Killa edited the song down for me and also gave it a look before I posted it, and her enthusiasm was really helpful. I loved how it turned out, it may not have been a big hit, but it's one of the few vids I've made I'm happy to rewatch. Someone called it "sexy" and that was exactly what I was hoping for, so mission accomplished.


Thinky thoughts part:


My favorite video this year:
Way Down We Go, just because of the FEELS.

Least favorite video this year:
I don't really have one, I felt like they all had something good about them.

Most successful:

Um…if you judge by hits on YouTube or Vimeo, Monsters. There's definitely some kind of Jack and David contingent on YouTube that I don't see existing anyplace else. I haven't looked at reblogs on Tumblr, but I'd probably guess Sorrow had the most notes. On AO3 and journals, Sorrow seems to be the clear winner. For me personally, though, I just love how Havoc in Heaven turned out, and the reactions of some vidders I admire (and Killa's reaction to her vid!) were so, so gratifying.

Vid most under-appreciated by the universe in my opinion:
Oh, well, I don't know. I mean, they're all okay. I think Wasp Nest just disappeared into a pre-Vividcon, not-girl-fighty song void.

Funnest video:
I think most people would say Heroes (We Could Be) because it's about the ladies of Marvel and my love for them shows.

Video with the single sexiest moment:
Hm. I'm not sure there are sexy moments, per se, but I think the fact that someone called Way Down We Go out for being really sexy would answer that.

Biggest vid fail:
I don't feel like any of them did that this year, but the struggle to make Titanium, and not being able to post it to YouTube, was really hard to handle.

Hardest video to make:
Titanium, for the reasons stated above. 

Easiest video to make:
Havoc in Heaven and Sorrow both came together really well, and I loved working with Killa on Havoc. Way Down We Go was definitely the speediest.

Most unintentionally telling video:
I don't know that any of them fit this, but I suppose you can see my Steve/Bucky feels written all over Sorrow and Way Down We Go in an embarrassing fashion.

What's Next?
I have a vid that I'd like to make with someone, that we've talked about for a couple years now. I'd like to make more vids. I don't know what my pain levels, and my equipment, will allow. I'd like to learn AfterEffects, but since I can't even figure out Premiere (or, more to the point, why it doesn't work for me the way it's supposed to), I'm not sure how well that'd go. And I think Civil War may finally give me the footage I need to make the vid of my heart I've been trying to make since April of 2014. But right now, I have to finish this vid I started before the CW trailer dropped, and proabably send that to Escapade.

gwyn: (bucky & steve alley purple)
I didn't make many vids this year due to feeling like a failure and the constant excrutiating pain, so this should be easy (she said). Links go to the vid on AO3, rather than YouTube or Vimeo, but you can click through to watch them there.

From first to most recent:

Monsters 
This was the vid that I made for Destina for Festivids. I stumbled on this song while I was actually wringing my hands about finding the right music for the vid I had in mind--I was working on a project and still formulating things in my mind when the season of Elementary opened, and at the end there was this intriguing music at the end. I could just barely hear it, and there were only about five words sung, but I just thought, wow, that's it. Little did I know what an ordeal it would become to find out how to get my hands on a high quality version of it. The artist who'd released it later changed his performing name, and the only place that had it was UK iTunes, which refused to give it to me, and I spent days trying to track down where it would be in US iTunes or some other place I could buy it. It really was the perfect song, and I loved the slow build, and the energy of the beat behind such quiet words and ethereal sounds. The whole thing was perfect for painting a picture of Jack and the terrible life he has, surrounded by monsters, trying not to become one himself.

Sorrow
I
 made this for Escapade almost at the last minute. I have been trying to do a vid since I saw Winter Soldier for the first time, and there's just really not the footage I want, so after struggling some more with it, I gave up and did this, which had been sitting in my heart for a long time. I felt like this came together really well, though I was a bit worried it would be over the top; I had someone come look at it unfinished and she said I made her cry, so that made me feel like it succeeded.

Wasp Nest
I'd finished all my Vividcon vids, and while I was working on them, I kept thinking about Natasha--and about the fact that there's this thing I kind of hate where fans decide that a certain fandom or character can only be represented in vids by a certain type of music. I've had that thrown in my face before, when I went, I don't know, off what people consider acceptable, and I really chafe at that. I think it's so narrow and unimaginative and restricting, and all the Natasha vids I've seen are either to these girl power songs or fighty-beaty action music. (Seriously, do you have any idea how many vids there are to Fight Song for her or Melinda May? Gah.) I never see things that feel like an internal conversation inside her heart, or ones that examine other parts of her than just fighty girl power stuff. So I wanted to do that, and I knew people would slam the song as being too soft, and of course…they did. Whatever. I love how this turned out, and I love using vids to explore other parts of a canon or a character than what people expect.

Heroes (We Could Be)
I wanted to make this for Club Vivid for over a year, but I was worried about the intro being beatless, so I asked ahead of time. I felt like it might not fit for the dance party, but it got in anyway, and I was super happy with how it turned out. It was terrible to make though--I spent way too much money on stuff for clips, buying movies and episodes and whatnot. And some of the Agent Carter eps would not work for love or money. Everything was in different aspect ratios…and then I couldn't figure out how to make a thumbnail that conveyed all the women in the vid because I am not an artist and don't have those tools. I asked M'lyn if she would be interested in making me a graphic and she made my amazing title background and thumbnail art, and I love it so much. I stare at it happily all the time.

Titanium
I really wanted to make this back when the show ended, but I decided to wait and make it my Vividcon premieres vid because I didn't have any other ideas. It was definitely a challenge--my iMac's video card died right before the deadline, and I thought I'd lost the hi-def Agent Carter one-shot file that someone sent me, and some of the Agent Carter on ABC eps wouldn't work…it was like being the Job of vidding or something. I thought I'd lost the entire vid too, when they went to replace the video card. Thank god I didn't. Then YouTube banned it. Vimeo had taken down almost all my vids a few years ago, unbeknownst to me, so I was reluctant to put it there, but I didn't have time to get in touch with Critical Commons at that point before I left for the con, so it ended up there. I still wait to find out they've removed it. The worst part is that there are other vids to Titanium on youtube, but I am nervous about resubmitting it. I was really happy with it, despite the torment, and Destina gave me an amazing beta review.

Havoc in Heaven
I put myself up for sale in the Vividcon auction this year, because I'd had such a fun time the last time I did it. I was so lucky to be bought by killabeez--we'd talked about this song for a Sunshine vid before, and when she played it again for me the day the auction was closing, I was sekritly hoping she would buy me so I could do it. We discussed a bunch of other songs and fandoms, but this was the one I thought, yeah, I can do something with this. I have synesthesia, and it manifests in some different ways, but a big one is that sounds have colors. Some things can be quite psychedelic when I'm listening to music. I could feel the visuals of the movie in the musical notes, and despite some tech issues, this came together really well, especially because Killa kind of grokked what I was talking about and she was really good at explaining to me how she saw the story of the vid. It was perfect synchronicity! I'm so glad I made this--it might be a minuscule fandom, but I got to bond with bironic and talitha78 at the con over this, and it's, I felt, not like a lot of other vids you see at Vividcon.

Way Down We Go
The Captain America: Civil War trailer burned a hole in my heart. It gave me so much stuff I was worried about ever seeing in that ridiculously overstuffed clown car of a cast--Bucky and Steve gazing into each other's eyes! A touch! Bucky on Steve's six! Bucky remembering! I was itching to make a vid, and this song arrived in my life right at the moment the trailer did. There's really only about less than two minutes of footage to work with, since so much of the trailer is the damn logos and black space. So I filled it out with Cap 2 stuff, and I think it worked well--it's about 90 percent trailer, and that's still a good ratio. Killa edited the song down for me and also gave it a look before I posted it, and her enthusiasm was really helpful. I loved how it turned out, it may not have been a big hit, but it's one of the few vids I've made I'm happy to rewatch. Someone called it "sexy" and that was exactly what I was hoping for, so mission accomplished.


Thinky thoughts part:


My favorite video this year:
Way Down We Go, just because of the FEELS.

Least favorite video this year:
I don't really have one, I felt like they all had something good about them.

Most successful:

Um…if you judge by hits on YouTube or Vimeo, Monsters. There's definitely some kind of Jack and David contingent on YouTube that I don't see existing anyplace else. I haven't looked at reblogs on Tumblr, but I'd probably guess Sorrow had the most notes. On AO3 and journals, Sorrow seems to be the clear winner. For me personally, though, I just love how Havoc in Heaven turned out, and the reactions of some vidders I admire (and Killa's reaction to her vid!) were so, so gratifying.

Vid most under-appreciated by the universe in my opinion:
Oh, well, I don't know. I mean, they're all okay. I think Wasp Nest just disappeared into a pre-Vividcon, not-girl-fighty song void.

Funnest video:
I think most people would say Heroes (We Could Be) because it's about the ladies of Marvel and my love for them shows.

Video with the single sexiest moment:
Hm. I'm not sure there are sexy moments, per se, but I think the fact that someone called Way Down We Go out for being really sexy would answer that.

Biggest vid fail:
I don't feel like any of them did that this year, but the struggle to make Titanium, and not being able to post it to YouTube, was really hard to handle.

Hardest video to make:
Titanium, for the reasons stated above. 

Easiest video to make:
Havoc in Heaven and Sorrow both came together really well, and I loved working with Killa on Havoc. Way Down We Go was definitely the speediest.

Most unintentionally telling video:
I don't know that any of them fit this, but I suppose you can see my Steve/Bucky feels written all over Sorrow and Way Down We Go in an embarrassing fashion.

What's Next?
I have a vid that I'd like to make with someone, that we've talked about for a couple years now. I'd like to make more vids. I don't know what my pain levels, and my equipment, will allow. I'd like to learn AfterEffects, but since I can't even figure out Premiere (or, more to the point, why it doesn't work for me the way it's supposed to), I'm not sure how well that'd go. And I think Civil War may finally give me the footage I need to make the vid of my heart I've been trying to make since April of 2014. But right now, I have to finish this vid I started before the CW trailer dropped, and proabably send that to Escapade.

gwyn: (bucky & steve alley purple)
So my birthday is in exactly one week, and I'm trying to resurrect my old tradition of posting fic on my birthday. Last year I actually posted a bit earlier than that, with the Groundhog Day-time loop Steve/Bucky story, because it was done and I was still working hard on my book for work. This year I'm again working hard on a book, which has turned out to be something of a nightmare and they had to both extend my hours and the deadline, thank god. But I'm also trying to fix up this story to post, which is taking a lot of time because I have to keep stealing little bits of work time away from actual paying work, and it feels so completely, soul-crushingly not worthwhile to be writing fic at all.

Plus it's another baseball series fic, so it's like "just what no one asked for!" But I couldn't help thinking about the ballgames that soldiers used to play in the war, and it seemed like a natural place to take the series.

I also started a Steve/Bucky vid but then got bogged down in trying to work on that plus the book, so I haven't made any more progress. I wish I knew how to get the look I want from it. I just don't know how to make it look visually like I want to see it in my head, and it's frustrating as hell. I don't like vids that are all showoffy with effects and stuff, most of the time, I'm there for the story and a lot of times I find that the story gets lost when people are spending all their time on effects. But this is one time where I really do wish I could understand and use those kinds of things.

I'm also trying to talk myself out of getting [tumblr.com profile] dorkbait's series of Bucky drawings they made for inktober--they are stunning, absolutely stunning, and it tells a somewhat cryptic but fascinating story of Bucky thinking about his progress. They've made the art available through a kickstarter book project, but I'm a) broke and b) already waiting for a birthday present I bought myself to arrive, so I feel like I shouldn't. But I have a feeling I will probably cave, just because wow, this fandom is still so strong for me, it's the only thing I really care about, and gorgeous fanart should be supported.
gwyn: (vids)
I'm trying to set my vids up so I can post them after they premiere at VVC, and I just had my Premieres vid, to Titanium for Peggy Carter, "blocked in all countries" and I can't test it out in public spaces to see if it's really completely blocked because I have to keep it private. I spent hours working on credits and a custom thumbnail for it and this vid was a major, major hassle to make what with my computer dying and getting the files, and now I can't even use it. I have been meaning to try to get a Critical Commons vids site, but there's no real control over the thumbnails and that's a hell of a lot of time wasted. And people really aren't going to even see it there, because all the traffic for fanvids is on YT these days. I hate them, but I feel like I'm just stuck there if I want anything to be seen.

The thing is, there are other vids to that song on YouTube, so this is just…arg. I learned a long time ago that filing a dispute does nothing, because whatever box you check, they say "that doesn't give you the right to use copyrighted work." Usually when I get a warning, I just do the "acknowledge third party content," but there's no option to do that here, it's just totally blocked.

I'm not actually sure what to even do here. This is so discouraging and frustrating. I don't have the spoons to deal with this, I really don't. (Add to this the fact that some people have been kind of snotty about Wasp Nest, and I just…why do I do this?)
gwyn: (natasha face)
Because I didn't have enough on my plate with trying to finish this @#%$&$% story that is now at 16,000 words when it was supposed to just be stupid fluffy nonsense (writing is finished, but it needs a lot of editing), and work, and animals, and health things, and getting ready for Vividcon, now I have started a Natasha vid that I would like to finish and post before I leave for Chicago.

What is wrong with me? And it's not even the kind of song that people usually want for vids about her; it's quiet and melancholy. I'm an idiot. Kill me now and put me out of my misery.

Vid beta?

Jun. 23rd, 2015 10:29 am
gwyn: (peggy carter)
Would anyone be willing to look at a vid for me, very quickly (I need to get this to VVC as soon as I can and not drag my extension out)? It's for Peggy Carter (Agent Carter, the Marvel one-shot, and Captain America: The First Avenger). You don't have to be super vid fluent, I'm just mostly looking for reactions, whether there's anything jarring or that doesn't work, any issues that might come up. I have a doctor appt. in an hour, but when I get back home this afternoon I can make a copy of the draft and upload it to sendspace by this evening.

ETA: Thanks, I have sufficient responses! You guys are awesome!
gwyn: (annie screaming grosserpepper)
Welp, my computer is basically fucked (at least it's still on warranty). They have to replace the video card, but they may not be able to save the data on the hard drive either, much of which hasn’t been backed up. A lot’s on dropbox, but a lot isn’t, including all the saved email recently (I know, I know, but the thing is, I don’t understand how to create a backup system for all this stuff that's ginormous like the vids, and it gives me anxiety attacks, so I keep avoiding it. Learn from my mistakes, kids!) and the downloads folder where I've let some things stay I should have moved a while ago. I don’t know what I’m going to do about Vividcon vids. The day only got worse from there, including tearing my hands to pieces trying to open a Pepsi bottle on the way home from the Apple store--if I'm having a bad day and going to be stuck in traffic, I want to drink my fucking pop, you know? Thank god for SebStan’s selfie today, it was the one shining light.

Tell me something good?
gwyn: (vids)
My fucking iMac screen has totally died, right when I have to finalize my auction vid (which my owner, killabeez, totally loved yay!) and make my premieres vid. I’d had trouble last week but thought I’d fixed it, only now it’s completely fried and I have to drag this behemoth up to the Apple store tomorrow. The past hour has been a comedy of errors with me trying to update older programs on my ancient computer and them refusing to update.

I was already feeling crappy enough. I haven’t been able to write at all outside of commentfic, and finally felt like I was making some progress on a completely different fic today (I now have four [WTF?] partially written stories because I can’t fucking write) and was in the right frame of mind for the emotionality of this story and able to churn out over 2,000 words today. So much for eking more out this week.

I don’t know who I want to kill more right now, Apple or myself. Now I have no idea if I will be able to meet the premieres deadline.
gwyn: (peggy carter)
I've been compiling sources for a multifandom vid for Club Vivid, and for some reason I can't figure out, two episodes of Agent Carter refuse to convert for me and I can't get a usable copy that will work in Final Cut. I can convert every other episode I got from iTunes using Tune4Mac, but neither of these will work in a format that I can then convert for use in FC using MPEGStreamclip. Every single other episode works okay. I'm literally in tears, I'm so frustrated.

Would anyone have hi-res files, MP4 or .mov, of the episodes The Iron Ceiling and A Sin to Err? (That's episodes 5 and 6) WIthout any kind of logo? I really can't make this vid without at least Iron Ceiling, and all my source is hi-def so I hate to use a crappy .avi, even if I could find one. ETA: Thanks for the offers! I think I might have some coming from therienne that should work, but if not I'll be back!

Or if you know how to convert the files I could get using the latest version of Tune4Mac into something FCP will actually recognize, I'm listening! This has been the most frustrating experience. (And yes, I've tried re-downloading the episodes on iTunes, I've tried reboots, I've tried everything I can think of--nothing works.)
gwyn: (beaten cap shield)
On Saturday I had a tea party with some friends, where I get to break out the Red Wing Pepe midcentury dishware pattern I started collecting a few years ago and my cool midcentury modern stuff and make tea and eat stuff I shouldn't. It's the only time you'll likely be at a tea party where you also get to talk about blood and guts and gore and sexual shenanigans while eating scones and drinking orange blossom oolong. Seriously, we were talking about this fanart I love where Steve gets deserumed and Hydra carves their logo on his chest and he's given to the Winter Soldier and then we were all laughing hysterically because yeah, that's not your typical tea party conversation. I love fans.

Anyway, I was lamenting my worries about the Vividcon auction, like ya do when you know people are going to spend money on you and you worry about whether you can do what they want, and without my realizing it for a while [personal profile] minim_calibre started bidding on me, and [personal profile] killabeez was plotting as well. After everyone had left--such a lovely time! Thank you all again for coming!--I went across the alley to see my old next door neighbor, who was visiting my other neighbor, and chatted and caught up, and then I came back home and the auction had ended. There was an email from Killa saying VICTORY IS MINE! and I knew, from being in a bidding cabal with her before, that she'd had trouble in past auctions getting the vidders she wanted, so she was very happy to make me her vidding slave.

So now I am owned by Killa and we're talking songs and fandoms and I am so excite! You always worry that you might not be sympatico with whoever buys you, just like there's always that tension before you get your fandom assignment for Festivids. It's great to be able to do a vid for someone you love. I've been so lucky in my vidding gift/auction vid assignments--for three years running in Festivids I've been assigned someone I like, and in the first VVC auction I got bought by kadymae/devilc, so I cannot complain about this. This is gonna be FUN.

OTOH I'm tortured by what I want to make for premieres, and I have a book coming in in a couple days with a ridic deadline and I really want to finish this goddam Steve/Bucky fic that's been torturing me for MONTHS now and makes me want to spork my eyes out and claw my face off. It's not worth the effort, I know it's not, and yet here I struggle.

The one bad thing about Saturday was that I found out Vimeo has removed all of my vids without any warning. It says I have zero vids, and I can't seem to log in even after requesting my password and stuff. I knew they were banhammering new vids, but I didn't think they were just flat-out deleting older ones, and I'm kind of sick about it. I just don't have the time or inclination to put those up on my YouTube channel but people don't seem to want to DL vids just to view them these days. Ugh. I hate it. Especially because one of them was the Flashpoint vid that Hugh Dillon tweeted about a couple years ago, and now it's just gone. Fuck you, Vimeo. God, I hate YouTube but that's really the only option now.

Buy me!

Mar. 15th, 2015 04:49 pm
gwyn: (veronica takethat _jems_)
On the off chance someone is in the market for having a vid custom-made and wants to support a good cause, you can buy me in the Vividcon Auction this year.

I’m in a batch of really good vidders who are offering their services to make a vid for you—bid early, bid often! In fact, there are so many good vidders this year that I’ll bet you can buy me for peanuts. Act now! Supplies could be running out!

My details are on the Vividcon Auction page for Gwyneth and list many of the fandoms I’m available to vid for, but there are a ton more that I didn’t include because the list was already long enough. Feel free to drop me a comment if you’d like to know about a fandom I didn’t include, or e me at gwynethr at gmail.

If you’re worried you don’t have enough money to bid, you can organize a bidding cabal of like-minded fans and pool your resources (I’ve done that before and it’s really fun!).

The auction ends at 11:59 p.m. EST in the U.S. on March 21 (that’s next Saturday). Is there a vid you’ve longed for? I might be your girl (whispers "don't you really want that Captain America vid you've been dreaming of?"). What are you waiting for? Make me do your vidding bidding.
gwyn: (bucky confusedface)
Definitely not nearly as many vids to talk about as fic! I honestly thought there'd be more vids--since my sister died, writing has been hard, but vidding wasn't nearly as challenging for me, there was a mental space that was easier to get into, I guess. But I got stymied at the end of the summer by a Captain America vid of my heart, which just refuses to come together for me, and so I stalled out. And then it was srs bzns work time, and then Yuletide and Festivids time, and…the back half of the year didn't produce anything.

Orange Crush
Hands down the most successful vid I've ever made in terms of views and comments, which still kinda stuns me. Because every time I told someone this idea, they looked at me like I was nuts. But I just kept thinking about it, and finally decided what the hell. I just really loved the parallels of Bucky and Steve as weapons, but also the way the movie used a lot of '70s political thriller imagery and Vietnam war themes, so what better than a song that uses Agent Orange as a major point? Also, I had fun working on it, and I was lucky enough that the DVD rip dropped the night before I finished it, and that really helped a lot in terms of how good it looks.

Shelter
Made deep in the throes of initial fannish love, and I think it shows! I talked at length about making this vid here a few days ago, but one thing I didn't say then was how surprised I am that there still aren't all that many ensemble vids for Captain America: The Winter Soldier. I'm really glad this filled the bill for people, because it's kind of weird how few of them there are.

Bones
I've wanted to make a Luther vid for a while now, and this song was, for me, a perfect backdrop for both Luther's job as a homicide detective and his bizarre relationship with Alice Morgan. Luther is a seriously creepy show, and the tone of the song just fit so well. I honestly thought this would be a really disturbing and graphic vid at VVC, and I wondered if I should warn for it in the summary, but then it turned out to be one of the least disturbing vids in a show filled with gore and violence. So hah.

We Rule the World
This was one of two song ideas someone gave me on Metafilter when I'd asked for some potential songs for my Festivids treat, and I waited to make this for Club Vivid. I just love Happy Endings, but I think there's maybe two of us out there in the world, and so far I'm the only one making vids for it.

Brother
I made this Pacific Rim vid for Escapade, still deep in the throes of love for the movie and not yet aware of what would happen to me in April. ;-) I really love how this turned out--I wanted to show everyone coming together in the movie, rather than focus on the kaiju, so there are only a couple shots of kaiju in the vid. It's people and Jaegers and lots of love.

Best Day of My Life
The second of two Happy Endings vids I made for Festivids. I wish so much there were more people in this fandom. I think this is one of my favorite vids I've ever made, I love how it turned out and it just made me so happy to work on. The only thing I don't like is that I was working in Premiere for both this and Jane's Getting Serious, and I could not get anything to come out decent. The output was really problematic and dark and everything looks shitty.

Jane's Getting Serious
My first Festivid for Happy Endings and an old favorite song from the '80s. Although the song's about a couple who are friends with benefits and the guy is freaking about his girlfriend getting serious, I thought it worked pretty well all the same for a married couple, just because Jane and Brad are wonderful together but they have divergent ways that make for great vidding. I love Jane and Brad and this is my love letter to them.

And the year in review meme swiped from lily the kid:
meme )

I don't make resolutions, but I hope to sort of resolve to make more vids next year. :-D

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