Dec. 11th, 2013

gwyn: (hardison swell day ruttadk)
So I'm behind on days, and I think that since the back half of the month is so sparse with questions, I'll just slide on all these front entries by a couple days. My thumb's a bit better today but wow, I still feel like I got hit by a truck.

[personal profile] nagasvoice asked: Talk to us about your experiences of fandom, what you love, what cheers you up when you partake of it, what drives you berseerrrker.

This changes a lot, depending on what's going on around me, and also it has changed a lot over the years and my own emotional journey. I think one of the biggest things about media fandom is how welcoming it was for me, much different than science fiction fandom had been. That's where I initially entered fandom as a general subject, but cons like Norwescon or Westercon, which are usually centered around literary SF fandom, at least they were back in the day, weren't quite as open-armed, and I think a lot of that was that they're more heavily focused on the mens. Whereas media fandom was so heavily female-centered that I was more comfortable entering it (though of course my first slash con, I brought my male best friend, because I was so shy and afraid of going alone). That is one of the things I loved best back then, and still do.

I love the way fans will rally to each others' aid when they need it, things like FandomAid when disasters strike, the way someone gets an idea that's basically "let's put on a show" and somehow it happens because a bunch of people jump on board and make it happen. That really putrid picture that the mundane media like to paint of fans as pathetic people who live in their parents' basement and all act like the Simpsons' Comic Book Guy? Yeah, we wouldn't get much done, like the AO3 or the OTW or Dreamwidth or Fanlore or Bitchin' Party or Vividcon or Escapade or any of the charities, if we were those people. I love that about us. I love that we get shit done, and we have fun doing it.

But there's also a lot I don't like, and lately I have to admit I'm really floundering with some things, particularly the subtle, offhanded racism, particularly in slash fandom. My friend said the other night when we were talking about this that of course no one wants to think of themselves as racist. And none of the people who are perpetuating this of course would ever admit to it -- as another friend reminded me, we insist that that's what the show or the movie gives us. And Sandy used to say, "Or we could just be racist fucks," and I think about that a lot lately. Because it seems like whenever there's a white guy slash fans love, they'll find some way to pair him with another white guy, rather than the black guy or the Asian guy that he might very well be life partners with on the show or in the movie. It depresses the shit out of me, especially lately because it's pervasive in my fandom du jour.

So I try really hard to focus on other things, like the awesome AU gifsets I see people do on Tumblr, or what little fanfic there is for my particular pairing and interest right now because much of it is really good, or the fact that Yuletide and Festivids are coming up, and there's so much creativity floating around out there. My thing lately seems to be me saying, "People are so shitty," or "People are so creative!" and I much prefer to say the latter. But I do a lot! Because fans, especially, are so very creative, and I'm always gonna be a fangirl, no matter what happens in my life.

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