I think the thing that's worse - and you may have gotten this too -- is that so many people think because they lost someone, or they know someone who's lost someone, that they have "expertise" in this matter, and if X happened to them, then it should happen to you, too. Nevermind that you are in Y or even W, by god, they *know* and keep telling you how it goes. I'm like, yeah, I know how it goes, dumbass, I've been there already. This isn't that.