Best caption evah!

[gwyn]

My F&F friends who know me, know that I'm not much into Paul Walker qua Paul Walker, and that he does nothing for me except as Brian O'Conner, especially Brian O'Conner with Dominic Toretto. So I wasn't tempted to see this movie, especially after haring the ads they are running constantly on TNT for it that cry "your only chance to see" Noel. But then I saw this mini review in EW and it's so funny that I may have to watch:

Noel Chazz Palmintieri's ridiculous directorial debut follows four strangers (plus an uncredited Robin Williams, who should not be allowed around hospitals) as they experience some vaguely miracle-esque events on a slushy NYC Christmas Eve. If you miss tonight's broadcast, never fear -- you can also buy it on a litmited-life-span DVD from Amazon, or catch it on the big screen in selected cities. Or, read carefully: The high point of Noel is toward the end when it looks like Alan Arkin and Paul Walker are going to make out. It's poorly written a sentimental hooey that tries and fails to warm the cockles of your heart... and there's nothing worse than cold cockles.

But it's the capton that's even more to die for. Under a picture of PW and Penelope Cruz with their foreheads pressed together, it says "If we press harder, we'll have a whole brain."

I just think it's amazing that the guy has zero chemistry with women no matter what he's in, but he always seems to put himself into slashy situations with male actors. Now he's almost macking with really old dudes! Go, Paul!

On another note, it looks like I will finally join the space age and get DSL on Friday. Probably won't be able to keep it long, but I may have a few months' extension where I have to work from home (and get Virtual PC and all kinds of other crap to make my Mac work with the stupid Windows only setup) so I had to do it. Of course, just when I have no vids or large files to upload or anything like that. But hey, at least I'll have it. Now if I could just figure out who to believe about the firewall thing (you need all kinds of firewalls! No, you need only the OS X-supplied one! No, you don't need one at all!) and even understand what I'm doing, it'll be clear sailing...

Comments

[spasticat.livejournal.com]

Cold cockles are pretty awful. A big ole guffaw over that Noel review. I needed the giggle.

It's amazing with that man, that Paul Walker. His lack of hetero chemistry defies science as I swear I remember believing that Rock Hudson had it hard for Doris Day. Yet PW? He lacks that faking it gene. ;)

[mlyn.livejournal.com]

Am so taping it. If it's as bad as they say, even PW can't make me pay money to see it. But for free? Sure, I'll take the opportunity for mockage...

Love EW's line about PW and AA nearly making out. It's nice that slash fans have reached the upper levels of the magazine, don't you think?

[paris7am.livejournal.com]

Hilarious review! I watched the "extended clip with preview" and I have to say that the cast makes me very tempted to watch. If only AA's role had been played by a hot young man, it would be perfect! (not that I don't appreciate Arkin, you understand...)

[kadymae.livejournal.com]

You'll only need the OS X one. Go in to it and just double check that everything is off, and whatever you do, don't open un asked for .exe files in VPC.

Also, if you avoid IE as much as possible, and use Safari, Caminio, or Opera, you've stopped 95% of potential problems right there.

[gwyn-r.livejournal.com]

I'm actually terrified of working with VPC because I'll have to use the web in IE in that, and also work with Outlook and Word in the Windows versions because apparently the site won't keep formatting. I keep thinking of all the viruses and worms... augh. Really not liking the idea of spending more $$ for AV programs and whatnot.

[kadymae.livejournal.com]

Go only to the sites that you have to go to for work in IE. Do no extra browsing.

Also, go into IE and turn off active X controls.

Go into outlook and turn off the auto open attachments feature.

You should be good. :)

[thisisbone.livejournal.com]

I got sucked in by the new technology thing and bought the FlexPlay DVD from Amazon. I haven't opened it yet, though...

But then, I do like Paul Walker. I like him best as Brian O'Conner, but I was perfectly happy to fork over $4.99 for the Noel DVD, just on spec. (It helped that it put me in "free shipping" status for the order...)

I saw on the IMDB that his other post-production flick, In The Blue currently has an August 2005 release date. ::shaking head::. That's never good. It probably means they know it sucks, it's not going to be a summer blockbuster, and it's definitely not going to be Oscarbait, so they dump it in the no-man's land of mid-August, where it doesn't have to compete with anything except other sucky movies.

::harumph::