![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Entry tags:
This anchor I'm dragging
Keep meaning to post but of course I never do. Part of it is that I feel like all I am is depressed and my life is somewhat out of control, and so there's no fun in reading that, and part of it is that I'm in so much pain all the time that it's difficult. The things I try to do for my back are being undercut a lot by the problems in my wrists and hands, sometimes the pain in my right hand and arm is so intense it doubles me over. I'm probably piling carpal tunnel on top of arthritis, but since I live in a garbage fire of a country where there is no affordable health care for someone like me who is self employed and not currently raking in much dough, figuring out options is pretty limited.
I was going to try some new things--getting a vertical mouse to see if that might help with editing, and trying a keyboard that splits apart into two halves that you can position in a more natural way for the wrists and that has a cord that connects the two halves, but then Blues kitty got sick and now a lot of that's on hold. I was also looking into replacing my sectional sofa with a loveseat that reclines so that I could also find a way to bring work out there and if I'm on something cushy, with a more ergonomic setup and slightly reclined, I think it'd be better. The recliney chair I work in right now isn't as good for writing, so I think an all-recliney situation would improve things a bit. But now...the estimate I got for bringing Blues in last night to the emergency vet was close to a thousand, they kept him overnight and don't really know what's wrong with him but he's a pretty sick kitty.
That's on top of the vet visit two weeks ago, which was $400. And my client is two months past due on my invoice, and and and... Things are not great. A couple people have suggested doing a funding account. As much as that pains me, I might have to. I'm trying to sell a lot of things off but that's slow going, and doesn't help quite enough. (YouCaring got absorbed by the evil gofundme, didn't they? I odn't even really know how people are doing crowd funding these days.)
I'm just waiting to hear from the vet but it's almost noon and still nothing. He had diarrhea for days, then vomiting, and just when I was getting ready to take him in on Thanksgiving, he seemed to come back to life and ate some of the boiled chicken I made him. But yesterday and the evening before he was super lethargic and just seemed to want to sleep, wouldn't even drink water. He's always been a barfy kitty and he seems to get into things no matter how carefully I remove things he could get into, but he comes around after a day or so, once I put him on a sort of fast. Didn't seem to work this time.
I'm not fond of this place, but there's no emergency or walkin vet near me, and I used to take my fosters there for a few years. They never killed any of them, and some of the dogs were in pretty bad shape, but I just never had a good vibe and I always hated going there. Naturally, I got the doctor I most disliked, he always seemed really rough to me--maybe it's a cultural difference (he's Sikh) but it bugged me nonetheless. And I've just never had to leave Blues overnight for anything, and I'm really sad.
Did not help at all that I looked at the claims spreadsheet for the Stucky AU Big Bang that I signed up for and literally no one wanted my fic. The claims had pretty much stopped and no interest; there's still a bunch in the files that haven't been chosen, not enough artists I guess, not enough interest in the rest of us. I really should have just asked if I could drop out; I don't really like the idea of someone being forced to work with me and the person who did "claim" mine eventually probably only did it because they're assigning pinch hitters and such. It feels like "gee, I'm sorry you got stuck with my shitty fic." And maybe if I drop out they'd be happy about it, who knows.
I kept thinking it was a story that would be ripe for art (Steve and/or Bucky in glasses and snazzy suits!), and this'd be a good way to link up with an artist because I'm too cowardly to ask any of the artists I love if they'd be interested in collaborating, but it's turned out to be more demoralizing than anything. Plus the length of the timeline is insanely long, and posting doesn't even begin until next February, what.
T-day was spent mostly cleaning up barf, but I did get a drive-by pieing from minim-calibre, which was awesome, and I made myself some excellent brussels sprouts and some mashed potatoes, so that was okay. I tried to watch some things on Netflix but couldn't get in at all, so ended up defaulting to my favorite watch, Captain America: The Winter Soldier.
Trying very hard to write on my last follow-up story for Celluloid Hero so I can post as usual on my birthday Wednesday. I mean, almost no one cares about this series at all, but I did say I'd do three more, so.
I was going to try some new things--getting a vertical mouse to see if that might help with editing, and trying a keyboard that splits apart into two halves that you can position in a more natural way for the wrists and that has a cord that connects the two halves, but then Blues kitty got sick and now a lot of that's on hold. I was also looking into replacing my sectional sofa with a loveseat that reclines so that I could also find a way to bring work out there and if I'm on something cushy, with a more ergonomic setup and slightly reclined, I think it'd be better. The recliney chair I work in right now isn't as good for writing, so I think an all-recliney situation would improve things a bit. But now...the estimate I got for bringing Blues in last night to the emergency vet was close to a thousand, they kept him overnight and don't really know what's wrong with him but he's a pretty sick kitty.
That's on top of the vet visit two weeks ago, which was $400. And my client is two months past due on my invoice, and and and... Things are not great. A couple people have suggested doing a funding account. As much as that pains me, I might have to. I'm trying to sell a lot of things off but that's slow going, and doesn't help quite enough. (YouCaring got absorbed by the evil gofundme, didn't they? I odn't even really know how people are doing crowd funding these days.)
I'm just waiting to hear from the vet but it's almost noon and still nothing. He had diarrhea for days, then vomiting, and just when I was getting ready to take him in on Thanksgiving, he seemed to come back to life and ate some of the boiled chicken I made him. But yesterday and the evening before he was super lethargic and just seemed to want to sleep, wouldn't even drink water. He's always been a barfy kitty and he seems to get into things no matter how carefully I remove things he could get into, but he comes around after a day or so, once I put him on a sort of fast. Didn't seem to work this time.
I'm not fond of this place, but there's no emergency or walkin vet near me, and I used to take my fosters there for a few years. They never killed any of them, and some of the dogs were in pretty bad shape, but I just never had a good vibe and I always hated going there. Naturally, I got the doctor I most disliked, he always seemed really rough to me--maybe it's a cultural difference (he's Sikh) but it bugged me nonetheless. And I've just never had to leave Blues overnight for anything, and I'm really sad.
Did not help at all that I looked at the claims spreadsheet for the Stucky AU Big Bang that I signed up for and literally no one wanted my fic. The claims had pretty much stopped and no interest; there's still a bunch in the files that haven't been chosen, not enough artists I guess, not enough interest in the rest of us. I really should have just asked if I could drop out; I don't really like the idea of someone being forced to work with me and the person who did "claim" mine eventually probably only did it because they're assigning pinch hitters and such. It feels like "gee, I'm sorry you got stuck with my shitty fic." And maybe if I drop out they'd be happy about it, who knows.
I kept thinking it was a story that would be ripe for art (Steve and/or Bucky in glasses and snazzy suits!), and this'd be a good way to link up with an artist because I'm too cowardly to ask any of the artists I love if they'd be interested in collaborating, but it's turned out to be more demoralizing than anything. Plus the length of the timeline is insanely long, and posting doesn't even begin until next February, what.
T-day was spent mostly cleaning up barf, but I did get a drive-by pieing from minim-calibre, which was awesome, and I made myself some excellent brussels sprouts and some mashed potatoes, so that was okay. I tried to watch some things on Netflix but couldn't get in at all, so ended up defaulting to my favorite watch, Captain America: The Winter Soldier.
Trying very hard to write on my last follow-up story for Celluloid Hero so I can post as usual on my birthday Wednesday. I mean, almost no one cares about this series at all, but I did say I'd do three more, so.