New vid: Sorrow - Steve/Bucky

[gwyn]

My premiering vid from Escapade:

Sorrow
Artist: The National
Fandom: Captain America movies
I don't wanna get over you.

"" (Watch on YouTube)

A HQ download available at my vids site here.
On AO3 with lyrics and on Tumblr. Reblogs and shares are always welcome!


I've wanted to make this pretty much since the movie came out but I've been beating my head against a brick wall trying to make a different vid that won't come together. Pretty soon I think people will pay me to stop making Captain America vids, I have so many song ideas. But in the meantime, there's this.

I should note that some spots of the vid are significantly different than the one I showed at the con and that is on the DVD. I wasn't happy with that version and made some changes later--sorry for the inconvenience.

ETA a couple things: I really regret saying anything about the person calling it cheesy and poorly edited--I just thought that was hilarious in a snickery sort of way, and I didn't mean for everyone to feel bad for me, so I'm sorry about that. Honestly I was just poking fun at it as much as anything. And 2, someone informed me that trelkez made a Cap 1 vid to Sorrow a few years back. I didn't know this, and this developed entirely independently of that.

Comments

[ratcreature]

I have no sophisticated opinions on vid editing but watching it gave me a delicious punch of Steve/Bucky feels. So I'm more than happy about your abundance of Captain America vid ideas.

[grammarwoman]

That reviewer said the who with the what now? That was gorgeous and achy and full of STEVE!FEELS, and did I mention the gorgeous? Haters to the left!

[cesperanza]

WHOEVER SAID THAT POOR THEM FOR THEY ARE DEAD INSIDE!!!! ALSO I AM SENDING YOU THE BILL FOR DRYCLEANING THIS SHIRT WHICH I HAVE DESTROYED WITH MY SNOT AND TEARS. DL SONG FOR PLAYLIST, STAPLES VID TO FACE.

[ranalore]

With the caveat that I am a known connoisseur of cheese, I personally found this gorgeously understated and raw. I also though the editing was really good, and I loved that you pulled in not just the Steve/Bucky, but Steve's grief over Peggy and the Howlies and his sense of dislocation in time. He's reaching out to Sam and Natasha, trying to fit into the twenty-first century, but what's the distant past for the rest of the world is only last year for him, and I feel like the song and clip choices really pull in that quiet sense of unreality. And then to end it on that shot of Bucky learning about himself is just to bring that sense home, I think, because neither of them chose to wake up in this brave new world to find themselves legends and ghosts.

[talitha78]

Whoever said this vid was cheesy is a big poophead. :P It's not cheesy; it's full of sentiment, which I love. Steve is a sad puppy without Bucky, and that's what this vid is about. Who doesn't like sad puppy Steve?

[kore]

AUGH MY FEELS CRUMPLE

also this is NOT cheezy at all, jeez, it's restrained and sober and all the MORE heartbreaking for that, if anything. I know zilch about vidding but I really like the editing choices -- like Steve patting Bucky on the shoulder in the snazzy uniforms and then again when he's rescuing poor dazed Bucky (AUGH my heart), that's really nice. And all the shots of super sad Steve (ohmigod) trying to go on with his life after he's lost everything, it's so moody and pretty.

[kore]

OK JUST PRETEND I SAID THIS TOO
BECAUSE IT WAS WHAT I MEANT YES

especially the song and clip choices really pull in that quiet sense of unreality. And then to end it on that shot of Bucky learning about himself is just to bring that sense home, I think, because neither of them chose to wake up in this brave new world to find themselves legends and ghosts, that's beautiful and just what the vid is about, yes. Living in the house that sorrow (grief) builds.

[sholio]

Oh, this is lovely! Your reviewer is COMPLETELY WRONG, omg. This is a song I've been thinking cried out for a Bucky-related vid, and I'm so delighted it now exists! And I also like that it's not just focused on Steve and Bucky (not that I don't have MANY MANY FEELS about them) but on the general tragedy of Steve's life, the way he's uprooted in time.

This is really sad and wonderful. /saves to favorites folder

[gwyn]

Thanks! Feels is pretty much what I'm about.

[gwyn]

I probably shouldn't have said anything about it, it just amused me so much in that kind of eye-rolly way. But yeah. ANYway, thank you for this and I'm so glad you liked the achy feels. I just feel so bad for him--musesfool calls him professional sadface, and I think that totally applies.

[gwyn]

I will pay your drycleaning! I will! I just feel so bad for Steve ALL THE TIME, and probably even worse for Bucky, though being the survivor alone in this strange new world…ugh. They are so beautiful and tragic.

[gwyn]

Yeah, I kinda regret saying anything about that comment now because I worry that people feel the need to make me feel better, and that wasn't what I wanted--I just thought it was hilarious and eye-rolly. But anyway, thank you for this lovely comment. I'm so obsessed with Steve trying to both survive without Bucky and survive in this strange new awful world, and now Bucky's going to have to do that too, and I just hope they can together.

[gwyn]

Heee. Well, I am a big ol' ball of sentiment and feels about these two, as you know. Steve is just the saddest of the sad, and I find that both glorious and heartbreaking and he makes me a big old pile of mush.

[gwyn]

Aw, thank you! I just love Steve trying to get on with his life, and also kind of failing so miserably at it because he just doesn't know how to live without Bucky.

Also, I didn't want to hijack ranlore's journal, but yes, I am the person who wrote the artist!Steve story about the pictures, and I did in fact do the follow-up 2014 version with Bucky pining. I've also written Steve drawing him (and drawing on him) in the big epic I wrote last summer, Dark Approach. I definitely want to do more with him as an artist, too.

[gwyn]

I am so completely, utterly obsessed with the whole Steve out of time thing, like I can't even. And the whole not being able to move on from grief, because that's something I know all too well, but also, Steve has a much worse burden than anyone else can imagine in being torn out of his own time and forced to live alone in this strange new world. I just have ALL THE FEELS about that and obviously I had to make a vid about that.

[kore]

but yes, I am the person who wrote the artist!Steve story about the pictures, and I did in fact do the follow-up 2014 version with Bucky pining

DUDE
UM, WHERE IS THAT? I LOOKED ON AO3 AND COULDN'T FIND IT unless it's part of the big epic story!


The song choice was also perfect, it's so quiet and heartbroken and also I kind of think of that as such a "guy song," the National is like the ultimate manpain-type sound (I mean, I like them! It's just so fitting). MUSIC TO BROOD OVER YOUR LOST SERGEANT BY.

[gwyn]

My user name on AO3 is gwyneth, and you can find all my stuff there (at this point I have a fair amount of Cap stuff, and am working on more).

This is Color Theory, the follow-up to Every Picture Tells a Story: http://archiveofourown.org/works/2440196
It doesn't have much in the way of artist Steve, it's mostly at the end and in Bucky's memories of Steve drawing him like one of his French girls. ;-) But it definitely plays a part in how Steve rekindles his relationship with Bucky and in how Steve helps Bucky see the new world.

This is Dark Approach: http://archiveofourown.org/works/1706558
Steve's sketches play a part in the first chapter and then again at the end, and his artistic nature is kind of vaguely woven throughout (it's a coping mechanism for him in some ways).

[kore]

OHH THERE IT IS
THANK YOU


also omg the uniform story was sweet and hilarious, also hott (Natasha knows where to get the GOOD replicas!)

[kore]

Bucky had fallen in love with a skinny, mouthy, pugilistic little asthmatic with the heart of a lion and the soul of a saint, and he’d loved Bucky right back for all his faults and glories. Now they were a couple of broken, damaged relics displaced in time, orbiting around each other like derelict moons

AUGH that's beautiful. (And Steve's voice is bronze! And Steve saw fanart about him and Bucky! HEADCANON ACCEPTED)

[grammarwoman]

I'm glad you can be eye-rolly about it; that's the kind of even-keeled attitude I aim (and fail, most of the time) to take.

[poala]

I wept so lovely

Loved This Vid

[lovesrain44]

I wanted to let you know that I loved this vid, just loved it. To me it was the BEST vid this year, it was so good, I'm actually going to figure out how to download to my Mac (which I got this summer and I don't know how to use as well as a PC) just so I can download it and keep it FOREVER. Also, it was old school, in a good way, all slashy goodness and romance and angst, and beautiful boys. Thank you so much for making and sharing this, it was the highlight of the vid show for me at Escapade this year.

[gwyn]

Oh wow, thank you so much! I really appreciate it. ♥

Re: Loved This Vid

[gwyn]

Thank you so much! That is quite a lovely compliment, what with so many good vids in the show this year. Hopefully you figured out the DLing!)

yeah, I am really all about the feels and the slashy and the beautiful boys, I really am. I mean, I love a good ensemble vid and character study, but nothing does me as well as a slashy vid full of gorgeous achy romantic goodness.

Re: Loved This Vid

[lovesrain44]

Vids like this get me all inspired to write and create. Old school slashy goodness to the max, with plenty of angst and hints of despair all rolled into pretty, pretty boys. I plan on watching it many more times.

[umadoshi]

Mmmm, I love this. *^^*

[gwyn]

Thank you!!

[gwyn]

Hey, would you mind if I used "music to brood over your lost sergeant by" in a fic I'm working on? I've been coming up with all these playlist names in this thing but this one is actually about ten times more perfect for it than what I've called it so far.

[kore]

Aww sure, go ahead! //is tickled and pleased

Re: Loved This Vid

[lovesrain44]

Hey, came across an actual shrinkyclinks tag, and thought I'd share. : D

http://archiveofourown.org/series/198710
\

[dine]

I finally remembered to come back and watch (and snag) this - and now I'm sorry I waited so long. this is just lovely, the song is perfect for the Love Song of Steve and Bucky, and the ending is haunting me; I've watched it several times now and each time that grabs me so hard for some reason

<3

[musesfool]

This song is always Steve to me, since I first heard it, and this vid is lovely.

[gwyn]

You know how all songs are Steve/Bucky songs? I feel that way most of the time, but this one is the one (besides the one that I've been trying to do since last year but that refuses to be made) that literally makes my heart fucking HURT with how much it's Steve thinking about Bucky. I'm so happy you liked it! ♥

[gwyn]

This is weird--I don't know how I missed this comment but I did, so sorry! Anyways, thank you very much, and I'm so glad you liked it. I had a lot of concern about the ending, but a friend convinced me to keep it and it seems to have worked out pretty well.

[kerithwyn.livejournal.com]

Someone in vid review called it cheesy

The other twenty or so people in vid review all said it was awesome, so be fair. :)

[gwyn-r.livejournal.com]

I know, my friends were very valiant and rushed to defend my honor! :-D

Honestly, I just laughed my ass off inside--I tried really, really hard not to laugh out loud. I mean, you can call it cheesy, whatever, but I learned editing from Sandy and I will brook no criticism of the things she taught me. But I figure full disclosure--who knows? Maybe more people WILL find it cheesy too (and in total fairness, she said despite the cheesiness it had feels, so).

I assume you got home okay and everything's all right?

[darlulu.livejournal.com]

I loved this! It was very emotionally engaging and poignant...not 'cheesy' at all.

[mackiemesser.livejournal.com]

Well, I liked it! :)

I don't even know about it being cheesy. Possibly edging up to melodramatic in the sense that it's big emotion?
I guess cheese is always a bit self-aware to me, if that makes sense, and this didn't have that feeling at all--in a good way.

As for editing, I can't agree with that other person's assessment on that, either. I thought you had a lot of excellent, subtle cutting going on here that suited the melancholy of the song. Sharper or faster cuts wouldn't fit with it at all.

[kerithwyn.livejournal.com]

I did and it is, thank you!

[gwyn-r.livejournal.com]

Thank you! I'm so glad you enjoyed it. Poignant was definitely the mood I was in when I made it. ;-)

[gwyn-r.livejournal.com]

I probably should not have said anything about the comment, I just thought it was so hilarious to warn people for cheese. ;-)

Rache was explaining to me that a lot of people, especially the ironic hipster gen types, equate any honest emotion with cheese, so…shrug. Most people seemed to get that and enjoyed the feels! But the song is big emotions, and Steve is definitely a guy with pretty big emotions, especially after losing Bucky. It's definitely a vid about grief and loss and depression, so yeah. I'm really glad that it worked for you and you liked it!

[daria234.livejournal.com]

This is SO lovely <3 <3 <3

[mackiemesser.livejournal.com]

I had kinda thought that was the case with that review, actually. And I tend to get a little irritated with ironic hipsterism...just a little...
I have just enough film and media studies background to get myself in trouble in these sorts of discussions! ;)

Honestly, my Steve and Bucky feels are sort of out of control, so I would have been dissatisfied with anything that wasn't all out, you know?

[gwyn-r.livejournal.com]

Oh, thank you so much! I'm glad to hear you enjoyed it.