somniloquence

Reverie (41453 words) by gwyneth rhys
Chapters: 7/12
Fandom: Captain America (Movies), Black Panther (2018), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers, Steve Rogers & Shuri
Characters: Steve Rogers, Shuri (Marvel), James "Bucky" Barnes, Sam Wilson, Natasha Romanov, T'Challa (Marvel), Ramonda (Marvel), Ayo (Marvel), Nakia (Black Panther), Okoye (Marvel)
Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Virtual Reality, Dreamscapes, Dreamsharing, of sorts if you squint hard, Wakandan Technology, Wakanda (Marvel), Winter Soldier Bucky Barnes, Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Post-Black Panther (2018), Friendship, Family
Summary:

“Exitus!” Steve shouted, slamming his hand against the door where the mandala should have been, and suddenly he was on the chair in his room, gasping. In this world.

Steve lowered the glass to his lap and looked up at Shuri. His heart was beating way too hard and fast. “You were right,” he said, sitting up. “He’s glitching. I don’t know if I can get him out.”

In which Steve messes up Bucky's plans and finds out more about the way the virtual reality works, and Shuri resents whatever takes her away from the project.

Reverie (17014 words) by gwyneth rhys
Chapters: 3/?
Fandom: Captain America (Movies), Black Panther (2018), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers, Steve Rogers & Shuri
Characters: Steve Rogers, Shuri (Marvel), James "Bucky" Barnes, Sam Wilson, Natasha Romanov, T'Challa (Marvel), Ramonda (Marvel), Ayo (Marvel), Nakia (Black Panther), Okoye (Marvel)
Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Virtual Reality, Dreamscapes, Dreamsharing, of sorts if you squint hard, Wakandan Technology, Wakanda (Marvel), Winter Soldier Bucky Barnes, Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Post-Black Panther (2018), Friendship
Summary:

“Exitus!” Steve shouted, slamming his hand against the door where the mandala should have been, and suddenly he was on the chair in his room, gasping. In this world.

Steve lowered the glass to his lap and looked up at Shuri. His heart was beating way too hard and fast. “You were right,” he said, sitting up. “He’s glitching. I don’t know if I can get him out.”

In which Steve takes his first shot at using the Reverie program and has some unexpected experiences.

Yesterday was the third anniversary of my surgery for colon cancer. It's so strange, it being so close to the death of Chadwick Boseman from the same illness; mine was stage 1b (you can't stage the cancer till after the surgery), which is very far away in severity from his when he was first diagnosed. The surgery, even when laparoscopy, is major abdominal surgery, and depending on how much of tissue is removed, can lead to all kinds of strange changes to your innards, and it's very difficult in terms of recovery. Obviously, a young, healthy person like him will have a better time, even with a tougher diagnosis, than a middle-aged lady in less than ideal health. But it took a lot out of me, for a good long time. I simply cannot imagine doing what he did, taking the kinds of roles he did, when he was dealing with "countless surgeries and chemotherapy." To say he was a real life superhero and king is an understatement.

It's a pretty slow disease compared to a lot of cancers. But that's mostly with older people; we're learning that people younger than 45 often have a more aggressive illness. But even if the first few years were slower, I'm just so astonished at him making Black Panther and the Avengers movies while fighting it. The loss of him just hurts so much. I've seen most of his major movies (and enjoyed seeing baby Chadwick when we were doing our Justified rewatch last year), was going to watch Da Five Bloods soon, but I found myself scrolling through YouTube to watch clips of him in various roles, from Thurgood Marshall to Jackie Robinson to James Brown to T'Challa. (The other thing that struck me, in that feeling of strange connectedness, is that his birthday is the day after mine, which I don't meet people often who have birthdays around that time.) He will be so, so missed.

I was actually getting ready to start on the scene where T'Challa comes into the story on my new WIP, Reverie. So now I'm kind of stuck, because I have to fight not to get all teary-eyed, and actually write. There's no way this won't inform things, and change what I was writing, I think.

I said to minim_calibre Friday night that I wondered if that was why Marvel had pushed the next Black Panther movie out so far. I'd been kind of angry about the lengthy delay (before the pandemic), but now I wonder if they weren't either giving him a chance to have treatment and heal before going back to the role, or hedging their bets that he wouldn't get healthy enough and thus they wouldn't have to hire/pay the preproduction crew, if the movie stalled out for health reasons. Movies have to have a specific type of insurance for cast and crews in case they can't finish a movie; they have to have physical exams and usually answer a questionnaire about potentially dangerous activities they do (like riding horses, dangerous driving or if they fly planes, even if they're smokers or drinkers/use drugs). I'd like to think they might have pushed the dates for the movie out of kindness, but I don't have a lot of faith in the Disney/Marvel machine that it wasn't a more monetary concern.

I've been watching Black Panther and the other Marvel movies a lot lately for the story, just looking at everything I can get my hands on, although now I'm really kicking myself for not getting a hold on the Art of Black Panther book through the library earlier; I imagine the wait list now will be terrible, and I think it would really help with the story. (If you have the book, would you let me know, so I can maybe ask you some questions?) Now I'm going to go fix myself a drink and see if I can get a few words down on this story, at least, even though my heart's broken.

I saw Infinity War again the other night during the Marvel 10th Anniversay IMAX marathon, and it reminded me of a) how freakin' depressed that movie made me and b) this little ficlet I'd thought about for a while afterward.

Waiting for Deliverance (2343 words) by gwyneth rhys
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Characters: Shuri (Marvel), James "Bucky" Barnes, M'Baku (Marvel), Steve Rogers
Additional Tags: Grief/Mourning, Post-Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie), Wakanda (Marvel), Friendship, Bucky and Shuri are BFFs, Everyone Needs A Hug
Summary:

Shuri sits down hard on the floor, running her fingers along the working prototype for the sergeant’s arm. It’s the dull, flat black of unpolished vibranium, just the way her heart feels. There’s no gold patternwork to brighten it, the way his smile brightened his face.

I keep thinking about posting, start making posts in my head, and then realizing no one would care if I posted about that thing, so I never do. But I'm definitely glad when other people overcome their ennui and post so I have stuff to read, so…uh, continue doing that. As you were.

Now that I've finished with my Fandom Loves Puerto Rico auction fanworks, I'm trying to get on with other things, but boy is the motivation not there. Still, Bucky's birthday is coming soon, so I really feel like I should do something for that.

I guess I'll run through some stuff I've been viewing:

I saw Hamilton in Seattle, thanks to the intrepid and kind sdwolfpup. It was very awesome. I've always had a disconnect between enjoying the soundtrack and thinking it was fun and the outright obsession so many of my friends have, I just couldn't understand being that fannish about something they'd never seen and might never get a chance to see, considering the cost. I've been crazy about a number of soundtracks but I could never get into them in an obsession level until I either saw the play or the movie. I feel like I grok the obsession a bit more now--in this touring production, the actor who played George Washington was fantastic, but what amazed me was the difference between seeing King George on stage singing those songs, and only hearing them. Like, I knew they were funny songs and the concept was funny, but seeing it live was hilarious, and sdw said that the guy in this production was fantastic (she's seen the original cast). All in all a really great experience; if I thought I had a chance in hell I'd put my name in for the lottery and see if I could make it again (although holy geez, no liquids for me for at least a few hours before the show; the Paramount's restrooms have always been inadequate but it was ridiculous to have such a huge, packed house and not be able to get into the toilets without a line that was at least a half hour wait).

Black Panther was as great as I thought it would be, and I'm totally in love with Shuri, and M'Baku, along with everyone else. T'Challa is such a fantastic mix of dork and swaggering cool guy, and I love how everyone else thinks of him as this badass but absolutely everyone in Wakanda, especially the women, just mock him at every opportunity. I don't think it's quite the perfection-level that a lot of my friends do--there were plot holes in a few places (which could also of course have to do with cutting crucial scenes that had been in the original 4-hour cut) and it was draggy in the middle to final third, but overall my complaints are fairly small, and I connected with this more than any other Marvel film besides Winter Soldier and the way I once felt about the original Iron Man. I'm now the proud owner of a Shuri Funko Pop, but I was kind of incensed that there's no M'Baku or other smaller characters (and only one Shuri, Nakia, and Okoye, which really feels wrong) because Funko's such a bunch of privileged little racist white kids. I've never forgiven them for taking over two years to give us Sam Wilson, and only for Civil War, so we couldn't put together a full set of Cap Family bobbleheads for Winter Soldier. Anyway, I've seen BP twice now, and I hope to see it a few more times in theatres. There's so much to see in the worldbuilding and set designs and costuming…it's just such a feast.

I tried to get to as many Oscar nominated films as I could before the awards: saw The Shape of Water, Call Me By Your Name, The Post, and haven't finished Mudbound but will before Sunday. I really wish I could have seen Coco in the theatre, but I knew that wasn't going to happen, and I think a lot of the others I will catch on pay channels, I'm just not highly motivated to see them. Lady Bird was the only one, but it wasn't playing anywhere that was easy for me to get to, so I'll just assume it's as good as everyone says. I can't say I'm super impressed with a lot of the stuff that everyone's been really ga-ga about; I liked things well enough but I was not especially blown away by any of them. Still, it's better than it's been in past years for the Oscars race, when I didn't give a crap about anything, so I might actually pay attention to the awards this year. It feels strange, still, to not be having an Oscars party. Last year was the first time in more than 35 years I didn't have one and it just feels…weird.

On TV, I'm watching things here and there, trying to catch up: Stranger Things (I just do not get the passion for this show at all, I'd much rather watch a show about that little girl, her last name is Sinclair and I think her first name is Erika? Maybe? and she's freaking adorable and I love her); finally caught up to Jane the Virgin (man, they really kind of lost me a little after killing off you know who, I will watch this current season when it's on Netflix but…I really didn't like that); finished GLOW (loved) and the first season of The Expanse (eh, but I will definitely watch the second season); currently watching Counterpart on Starz because I love me some espionage and alternate reality/timeline stories but man is this a hard show to get enthused about.

It looks fantastic, and it's weird and kind of eerie, but it's also maddeningly obtuse and obscure, and I have absolutely no idea anymore what the fuck is going on. It's designed clearly to be a tour de force for JK Simmons's acting, and it doesn't disappoint in that--he's playing the same man in two different realities that were split on the timeline in Berlin 30 years ago, and there's a threshold people can use to cross over between the different realities. Both his counterparts are wildly different versions of the same man (almost like Evil Kirk and Soft Kirk in Star Trek) and he's fantastic; Olivia Williams is great too, and there are tons of great actors in this, but I can't believe we're fridging women (or appearing to, anyway) and only have female nudity and gay sex scenes in 2018 still, and the aforementioned lack of clarity in story is so frustrating. But it does have some great moments, like this week's ep where Prince is alive over there still, and so trafficking in Prince CDs is this huge potential breach of the separation of the worlds, and JK is truly an amazing actor (though I keep thinking that no woman who showed her age that way would ever have a series built around her as the lead this way).

I'm sure there are other shows but I can't quite remember right now… Still a lot to catch up on though--I'm planning on watching a bunch of things people have recced recently, when I get some time.