somniloquence

For incredulity, Jayne's 5 favorite weapons and how he acquired them (Firefly).

(I love the fact that it's Jayne's weapons -- if you know anything at all about guns, you know that Jane's Encyclopedia is the bible of weapons information, so it's a nice little tie-in.)

1. Vera, his favorite gun, a Callahan full-bore auto-lock, customized trigger, double cartridge thorough gauge. It cost him more money than he's spent on all his other weapons combined, but when he took the job on with Mal, that was the first money he spent from the first haul they took. He doesn't much like them Alliance planets, but if you want the best weapons, that's where you got to go.

2. His classic Bowie knife, which is also named, but it's private and he don't give that one out, no sir. He took it out of the back of one of the mudders way back when, after a nasty fight with the overseer that he steered well clear of. Once it was over, he scoured the bodies for collectibles.

3. Judy, the Blue Sun "Blue Storm" pistol-caliber carbine in 9 mm Parabellum, configurable for right or left shooter with a simple change of the bolt assembly. It's an old gun that ain't changed much in a couple hundred years, but it's a classic, and a design like that don't need to change much when it works. It was the first gun he ever got for himself, in fact, when he left that pit of a planet and landed on New Dover. Bought it off another gandy dancer building the railroad that went across the main continent and it's reet petite, makes a clean entry and exit wound, and there ain't much fuss or muss to clean up afterward.

4. That old Colonial Marine M-41A pulse rifle with over-under 30 mm grenade launcher. She's a bit tetchy and unpredictable, but you could cut a horse in half with one of them things, and it was just lying there in an old abandoned armory on a planet no one cared much about. He thinks he should call it Betsy, but he's never fomally named it, just 'cause he don't take it out much.

5. The laser pistol in the 40-watt range he got off Rance Burgees that he's calling Lucy. Ruttin' bastard thought he was so special with his Alliance gun that nobody outside top brass got to handle. Mal sure showed him, though, and the girls, but the best part weren't watching him die, it was keeping that gun. Mal don't let him use it, though, 'cause he says Alliance'll find them that much quicker if he does.

For mlyn, 5 things the men saw between Nixon and Winters they weren't supposed to see (Band of Brothers).

1. When they were yet to jump, in the days leading up to Operation Overlord when everyone was tense and worried, Bull saw Lt. Nixon and Lt. Winters standing together in the dark outside the CP. It looked like they were reading some kind of map or something, but in the low light, it was hard to tell. Nixon fished a cigarette out of his pocket and as he fumbled for his lighter, Lt. Winters took it out of his hand to light Lt. Nixon's cigarette. You wouldn't even have thought nothing about it except that as he gave the lighter back, Lt. Nixon looked up at him with a little smile on his face, and Lt. Winters stared back, just a little longer than normal.

2. After Sobel tried to court-martial Dick, you'd have believed it was Nix who had his balls in a vise. Nix was practically spitting fire, all his cool reserve and flippant distance suddenly taking a hike. It didn't surprise Harry, not really, because he'd always wondered about them. It was that time Nix had gotten up during a briefing, grabbed Dick's cup and poured him coffee before pouring his own cup, that made Harry start wondering in the first place. Nix gave it to Dick and sat down, and they never even really looked at each other, like they'd been together for years and lived in their own private world.

3. He hadn't been Capt. Winters's orderly for very long before he figured out that Capt. Nixon was a part of the job, too. He was just... always there. He'd disappear on a recon, or hop off somewhere for leave, but the minute he got back, he was with Capt. Winters. Once, when he left the farmhouse Capt. Winters was quartered in, about a half hour after Capt. Nixon had left, he recognized Capt. Nixon's dark form in the shadows, and as he went around the corner to his own quarters, he saw Capt Nixon go back inside, and then a few minutes later, the light in Capt. Winters's room went out.

4. Capt. Winters was a hard guy to figure out. Mr. Straight Arrow, and all that, the strange ideas that a lot of the men had about him. Capt. Nixon made a lot more sense to people, but Lipton sort of liked how stand-up Capt. Winters was. But it wasn't like he didn't think the world of both of them. They had qualities, together and apart, that made them different from the other officers. You could see they were closer than most other officers, too. Everyone had friends, but Lipton wasn't sure that he'd ever seen anyone do what they would do for each other. One night Capt. Nixon went on a bender, tearing around their little patch of Holland looking for as much booze as he could find. He was so drunk they thought he would die of alcohol poisoning. After he puked all over Capt. Winters's boots, all Winters did was smile at him, drag him back to where he was bunked, and clean off his boots before putting Nixon to bed. Most guys would have clocked him.

5. Right after Winters got his promotion to captain, Lt. Nixon was checking in with him about something he'd found on a recon. Everyone was getting ready to move out so the building was mostly empty, and they probably thought Doc Roe was gone, too, but he just turned his head a little as he packed the last of his stuff and saw them there, talking. Lt. Nixon nodded at Winters, and when he turned to go, he just barely--really, if you didn't have good eyes and hadn't been watching, you'd never have noticed--ran his fingers along the palm of Capt. Winters's hand. Roe slipped out of the building before Nixon could see him.

For barkley, 5 times Don lied to his family (Numb3rs).

1. The window was never proven, and his parents wouldn't even have known about it if Charlie hadn't run into the house flapping his mouth, shouting that "Don broke the window" and waiting like a happy executioner for Dad to lower the boom on Don. He denied all responsibility (every kid in the neighborhood had been playing ball that day), and took it out on Charlie later when their parents went out to dinner.

2. He always told them that it was an injury. It was easier to say that than to make a confession about how he knew he would never make it to the show, that the best he could hope for was a farm team and while that might have been satisfactory to some, it wasn't to him. Not with the genius kid brother. If he told them that he knew he would never get where he wanted to go playing ball, where he was driven to go, they would try to shore up his confidence. That was the last thing he needed -- well-meaning pity.

3. Everyone still thinks it was an amicable breakup between him and Kim. Charlie has his suspicions now that he's met her, but he knows better than to ask Don.

4. Once, his dad asked Don where he disappears to on such long weekends, and how come he never seems to get time off from the job except on those long weekends he takes occasionally? Don said he doesn't go much of anywhere, just turns off all the phones, watches TV, forgets about the ugly world he lives in. But if they ever tried to get into his apartment, they'd find out he was gone. Wherever Billy Cooper is holed up, whether in some rickety motel chasing a fugitive or the barren apartment he calls home in Arizona now, that's where Don goes. It's worth the subterfuge.

5. He told his mom that everything would be okay. That the doctors knew what they were doing, that treatment was advancing every day. He told his dad that he hadn't minded coming home to help care for her. They both knew he was lying, but they wanted to hear it, anyway, and if he said it enough, Don might believe it, too.

For cereta, five places you will never see Dominic Toretto.

1. Salsa dancing lessons. It isn't that he thinks dancing is for faggots, but you really have to wonder about this one -- all that booty-shaking and the frilly clothes, and you can't just sorta halfway get down with someone when you're trying to remember all those damn steps.

2. A Princess cruise ship. Maybe you could eat your way through a nice trip down to Mexico or whatever and just crash on the sun deck all day, but fuck if he'd ever set foot on the Love Boat. And if he can't drive there, he doesn't wanna go.

3. Ordering a triple lo-fat extra whip raspberry capumochachino ANYthing from a Starbucks or Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf. And no way is he going to go into one of those places to order an "Americano" and pay 2 bucks extra for the privilege. It's a fucking cup of coffee.

4. A gay bar. Brian asked him why they couldn't just go somewhere they didn't have to be afraid of getting drunk and gropey with each other, at least once, just try it out. But Dom killed that idea, fast. He wasn't interested in other guys, or being around guys who were interested in other guys. It was just Brian, straight down the line, and if they wanted to grope, they sure as shit weren't doing it in public.

5. Second place at the finish line. Because he is Dominic fucking Toretto.