Snowflake challenge day 9
Jan. 15th, 2016 01:30 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
gwynI skipped Day 8 as well, since I have been interacting in spaces a lot lately.
Day 09
In your own space, set some goals for the coming year. They can be fannish or not, public or private. Leave a comment in this post saying you did it. Include a link to your post if you feel comfortable doing so.
This one's a bit hard for me. There are all these things I want to do--work out more, walk more, be a better person, earn more money/get more clients who actually want to pay me, but a lot of things feel very much out of my control. The biggest thing would be to find some way to reduce my constant unending back pain, but nothing so far has helped, and I don't have the funds to really try anything else. I don't know that surgery's off the table medically speaking, but I have no one to help me out post-surgery, and from everyone I've spoken to who had this kind of back issue, they are pretty debilitated for a while. So. I try to figure out other things, but it's both an expensive and time-consuming route.
I did already check off one thing on my list of goals, though--the other day Killabeez and Mr. Killabeez came down to help me figure out how to back up my system so I won't have something happen like last year, where my video card died and I was terrified I was going to lose all my vid stuff like I did in the hard drive crash a few years ago. Plus we had lunch at the Swinery, which I've tried to get up to for years and never did, and oh god, it's pork heaven (plus other things! but pork OMG).
Fannish goals, I honestly don't know. I have tons of fic ideas, but I feel like a lot of times I'm the only writer who instead of building an audience in a fandom by posting lots of fic, has actually done the inverse and fewer and fewer people want to read anything. So my big goal is to try to ignore the fact that I feel worthless and push on. I don't think I can write even a quarter of these things and work at the same time before Civil War comes out, and that feels like a sword hanging over my head, because it'll pretty much torpedo everything I want to do.
This is the first time in 20 years I'm not going to Escapade, unless something wild changes my mind and I rush off on the spur of the moment. But I would like to do a vid, only it's Jan. 15 and I haven't done anything. I want to make more vids, if I could get my pain under control. But it's tough, with the worthlessness feeling (see above). Depression and that sense of you're not worth anything if you're not achieving highly really do a number on my creative impetus, plus the work I do tends to eat up time and doesn't really allow me much leeway when it comes in. Freelance is a weird life.
I'd also really like to read more books that aren't for work. Much of what I read for work is pretty atrocious, and it's been hard to finish anything for years. But last year I read two whole fiction books, so I would like to continue that and do more.
Day 09
In your own space, set some goals for the coming year. They can be fannish or not, public or private. Leave a comment in this post saying you did it. Include a link to your post if you feel comfortable doing so.
This one's a bit hard for me. There are all these things I want to do--work out more, walk more, be a better person, earn more money/get more clients who actually want to pay me, but a lot of things feel very much out of my control. The biggest thing would be to find some way to reduce my constant unending back pain, but nothing so far has helped, and I don't have the funds to really try anything else. I don't know that surgery's off the table medically speaking, but I have no one to help me out post-surgery, and from everyone I've spoken to who had this kind of back issue, they are pretty debilitated for a while. So. I try to figure out other things, but it's both an expensive and time-consuming route.
I did already check off one thing on my list of goals, though--the other day Killabeez and Mr. Killabeez came down to help me figure out how to back up my system so I won't have something happen like last year, where my video card died and I was terrified I was going to lose all my vid stuff like I did in the hard drive crash a few years ago. Plus we had lunch at the Swinery, which I've tried to get up to for years and never did, and oh god, it's pork heaven (plus other things! but pork OMG).
Fannish goals, I honestly don't know. I have tons of fic ideas, but I feel like a lot of times I'm the only writer who instead of building an audience in a fandom by posting lots of fic, has actually done the inverse and fewer and fewer people want to read anything. So my big goal is to try to ignore the fact that I feel worthless and push on. I don't think I can write even a quarter of these things and work at the same time before Civil War comes out, and that feels like a sword hanging over my head, because it'll pretty much torpedo everything I want to do.
This is the first time in 20 years I'm not going to Escapade, unless something wild changes my mind and I rush off on the spur of the moment. But I would like to do a vid, only it's Jan. 15 and I haven't done anything. I want to make more vids, if I could get my pain under control. But it's tough, with the worthlessness feeling (see above). Depression and that sense of you're not worth anything if you're not achieving highly really do a number on my creative impetus, plus the work I do tends to eat up time and doesn't really allow me much leeway when it comes in. Freelance is a weird life.
I'd also really like to read more books that aren't for work. Much of what I read for work is pretty atrocious, and it's been hard to finish anything for years. But last year I read two whole fiction books, so I would like to continue that and do more.
