That's *MS.* Smutmeister to you
Jul. 15th, 2004 09:11 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
gwynSex scenes freak me out. Writing them, that is. I mean, really, really freak me out, to the point of mild panic attacks and my face getting red with shame even when I am just sitting there alone, writing, and it's not like anyone knows what's going on in my head. Slash sex scenes are absolutely the worst, because it's all very slot a tab b stuff and I always want to try to have guys acting like guys having sex, not some femmy slash idealist with hearts and flowers, and that often means more graphic writing than I'm comfy with. (Not that I've necessarily achieved this goal, I'm sure my guys are just as girly as most slash fans write girly men, but that's the plan, anyway.) Plus, you know, there's the added work of all those male pronouns, and fifteen his'es in one paragraph can make your eyes cross, but I never want to go the epithet route. Cuz, yuck. But het sex, while generally easier to write, has its own problems, not least of which is the stupid names for female body parts. Basically, sex of any kind, even if it involved monozygotic reproduction, is usually beyond my ability.
I'm bizarrely modest and prudish in my own little way -- the hardest thing about going to the gym is the locker room, because I really do not want to bare any of my skin to anyone and I don't want to see theirs, either. I can't stand talking about sex in detail with people, and my friends often horrify me by detailing their sex lives very loudly in public. Most of all, I loathe talking about bodily functions of any kind, and sex? Involves way too many embarassing bodily functions, secretions of unspeakable horror, and the dreaded fluids that are impossible to find lyrical metaphors for. When someone referred to me on TWoP once as a smutmeister, I blew a gasket because I thought it was an insult until other people told me it was a compliment to my ability to write great love scenes. Only I couldn't wrap my brain around that, because I think they betray my discomfort every time.
But last night I finished the first -- first! there's more to come (er, so to speak)! -- of the sex scenes for the Fast and the Furious slash story. I swear this thing will be little more than a PWP (not that there's anything wrong with that, just not something I usually do, since I'm so sex phobic), because for some reason, I haven't even written the lead-up part of the story yet -- just dove right in to the big sex scene. And now I'm peculiarly eager to write the rest of them, even though I still get the butterflies in my tummy. Maybe they won't take my slash card away from me now -- even though I've written the Mag 7 slash and the Miami Vice, none of those is particurly sex scene-oriented, so this is odd for me all the way around (and especially so after having done so much het stuff lately). Maybe it's also freeing because I know there's no audience for it and probably two people would read it, so I don't feel I'm exposing as much of my pervy brain, or something.
It made me realize last night that I've never been interested in gen much not because there is usually no sex, but because gen is largely not about 'ships and first times and whatnot, and that in fanfiction, that's almost all I'm interested in. I like stories that deal with first time sex/falling in love because it's often the most rife with emotion, and I'm all about the emotion. Gen stuff tends to focus on plot or background, there's no Big Emotions and Life Trauma Issues and OMG I'm Gay Because I Love Someone of the Same Sex Horror. I want that anguish and intense love and desire and big fat bonfire-sized flames of lust -- even if it means I have to write a sex scene. I've written a few stories that could be classified as gen in their own way -- most recently the story about Spike and Dana from "Damaged" -- but even there, I tend to get into big emotions just because I could not care less about stories/movies/shows if there is no intense emotional core. So I'd trade a great gen story most of the time for a decently written PWP, simply because even a PWP is likely to have more emotion imbued within it than a gen might. (Of course, I'd never trade a great gen for a badly written anything, and I'll always take good writing over anything, since that's my only real kink.) Not that all gens are emotionless, or at least, I've never written them that way and have read many good ones that do focus on larger relationships, but I find they're far less focused on huge emotional concepts than 'ship-oriented fanfic.
Still, I have this natural tendency to want to try to provide some kind of a real story, just because it's easier to write. Maybe it's the cars in F&F slash, maybe it's that the story is just so obviously pornish (anyone who's seen the outtake Gay Male Porn Tableau on the DVD knows what I'm talking about) or something, but for once, I'm actually finding it easier to write the porny stuff than the exposition and dialog. Or maybe someone put something in my water.
I'm bizarrely modest and prudish in my own little way -- the hardest thing about going to the gym is the locker room, because I really do not want to bare any of my skin to anyone and I don't want to see theirs, either. I can't stand talking about sex in detail with people, and my friends often horrify me by detailing their sex lives very loudly in public. Most of all, I loathe talking about bodily functions of any kind, and sex? Involves way too many embarassing bodily functions, secretions of unspeakable horror, and the dreaded fluids that are impossible to find lyrical metaphors for. When someone referred to me on TWoP once as a smutmeister, I blew a gasket because I thought it was an insult until other people told me it was a compliment to my ability to write great love scenes. Only I couldn't wrap my brain around that, because I think they betray my discomfort every time.
But last night I finished the first -- first! there's more to come (er, so to speak)! -- of the sex scenes for the Fast and the Furious slash story. I swear this thing will be little more than a PWP (not that there's anything wrong with that, just not something I usually do, since I'm so sex phobic), because for some reason, I haven't even written the lead-up part of the story yet -- just dove right in to the big sex scene. And now I'm peculiarly eager to write the rest of them, even though I still get the butterflies in my tummy. Maybe they won't take my slash card away from me now -- even though I've written the Mag 7 slash and the Miami Vice, none of those is particurly sex scene-oriented, so this is odd for me all the way around (and especially so after having done so much het stuff lately). Maybe it's also freeing because I know there's no audience for it and probably two people would read it, so I don't feel I'm exposing as much of my pervy brain, or something.
It made me realize last night that I've never been interested in gen much not because there is usually no sex, but because gen is largely not about 'ships and first times and whatnot, and that in fanfiction, that's almost all I'm interested in. I like stories that deal with first time sex/falling in love because it's often the most rife with emotion, and I'm all about the emotion. Gen stuff tends to focus on plot or background, there's no Big Emotions and Life Trauma Issues and OMG I'm Gay Because I Love Someone of the Same Sex Horror. I want that anguish and intense love and desire and big fat bonfire-sized flames of lust -- even if it means I have to write a sex scene. I've written a few stories that could be classified as gen in their own way -- most recently the story about Spike and Dana from "Damaged" -- but even there, I tend to get into big emotions just because I could not care less about stories/movies/shows if there is no intense emotional core. So I'd trade a great gen story most of the time for a decently written PWP, simply because even a PWP is likely to have more emotion imbued within it than a gen might. (Of course, I'd never trade a great gen for a badly written anything, and I'll always take good writing over anything, since that's my only real kink.) Not that all gens are emotionless, or at least, I've never written them that way and have read many good ones that do focus on larger relationships, but I find they're far less focused on huge emotional concepts than 'ship-oriented fanfic.
Still, I have this natural tendency to want to try to provide some kind of a real story, just because it's easier to write. Maybe it's the cars in F&F slash, maybe it's that the story is just so obviously pornish (anyone who's seen the outtake Gay Male Porn Tableau on the DVD knows what I'm talking about) or something, but for once, I'm actually finding it easier to write the porny stuff than the exposition and dialog. Or maybe someone put something in my water.
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no subject
Date: 2004-07-15 12:54 pm (UTC)And I'd like to read the F&F fic.
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Date: 2004-07-15 01:56 pm (UTC)And, yeah, just let me reiterate my interest in reading the F&F slash.
no subject
Date: 2004-07-15 02:18 pm (UTC)The only good fanfic I've found is by Khaleesian, and at the top of this story there's a piece of art that includes a cap from this scene: http://www.khaleesian.com/fast%20and%20furious/nasty-curious.htm
Her stories are good, but it's sad that once they're over, that's pretty much it for the fandom. At least, I sure can't seem to find anything else good out there -- some seriously appalling stuff.
no subject
Date: 2004-07-15 02:46 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-07-15 03:31 pm (UTC)So, so not kidding.
I think I've got around a dozen or so just from that scene; there might be one that has more contrast.
no subject
Date: 2004-07-15 05:00 pm (UTC)And then there's a pullout to a long shot where they're all sprawled aroud, some on the car, some not, and it's like an advertisement for a gay porn video, I swear.
*Checks out the fic and art*
Damn...yeah, that's porny. LOL! Thanks for the link. I meant that I wanted to read whatever you'd been writing smut for in that fandom, but this'll do too.
no subject
Date: 2004-07-15 08:45 pm (UTC)Mostly I gave you the link so you could see part of that tableau shot -- but heck, if you enjoy the fic, all the better! They're all pretty good stories, and it's always nice when a story can be illustrated by such a yummy background. ;-)
no subject
Date: 2004-07-15 11:13 pm (UTC)VL
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Date: 2004-07-16 12:22 am (UTC)Looks like I stumbled into a WIP, though. Damn.