Cat dictionary

[gwyn]

Does anyone else remember Sniglets? Comedian Rich Hall's collection of words for things that don't have definitions in any dictionary? I think we need one for cats. These two would be my entries.

ear-whip verb, transitive To be hit repeatedly by the ears of a cat when it shakes its head quickly, next to another surface (esp human skin). "When Blues woke up from his nap on my chest, he totally ear-whipped my cheek and it stings like a son-of-a-bitch."

catiquet noun [from cat (feline) and ~quet (tourniquet)] A stance used by a cat whereby all circulation is cut off when their front paw(s) are placed on a major human artery or vein, usually involving an exponential increase in pounds per square inch of pressure. "Olive completely put a catiquet on my leg tonight and it's turning blue."

Comments

[tzikeh.livejournal.com]

I do, I do!

My two favorites were "point blimfark" - which is the point at which a car is going exactly the right speed for it to look like the wheels are spinning backwards, and "arachnoleptic fit" - which is the crazed dance you do after you unknowingly walk through a spider-web.

Rich Hall, btw, moved to England, and is now a semi-regular guest on QI.

[klia.livejournal.com]

Cat Sniglets. Hee!

meyawn To open the mouth wide and take a deep breath, then exhale with a meow. "Abby woke briefly from her nap and meyawned disdainfully."

cat-gravity A physical force cats engage when a human is trying to move them, esp. from a lap. "When Abby heard the phone ring, she pinned me to the chair with cat-gravity." See also, world's heaviest harness.

[batwrangler.livejournal.com]

Yes! Those are great (sorry you've obviously experienced them recently).

[cy-girl.livejournal.com]

Doing catiquets is my cat's favorite hobby.

[darthhellokitty.livejournal.com]

One we use around here is "kitty-paralyzed", for when you can't get up and get something for yourself because a cat is sitting (or sleeping) on you.

Catiquet has two meanings:

[rattlecatcher.livejournal.com]

To us, it's a tourniquet. To cats, it's a polite way to tell us to stop moving. "My catiquet lesson for the day was to remain still until the cat was done biting me."

(I'm not saying this is something that's happened to me or anything...)

[black-bird-777.livejournal.com]

Those are adorable, and true! We need one for being smacked by a dog's large tail. Or the dog's tail smacking a can of soda off the table. Onto the floor, and all over the table. I leave it to you to come up with a Sniglet for it. ;-)

[ixchel55.livejournal.com]

These seem vaguely familiar. *G* To 'ear-whip' let's add

ear-flitter: (not languid enough to be called a flutter) when a drowsing cat the constantly flitters their ears as though being tickled. The tendency to do this escalates in direct proportion to how close said ear is to its human's face and how irritating it's going to be.

[gwyn-r.livejournal.com]

My favorites were "flen": The black crusty residue that accumulates on the necks of old catsup bottles (which, weirdly, is defined with a different term on the wikipedia page, but I know flen was the original word) and "pupkus": The moist residue left on a window after a dog presses its nose to it.

I guess I have a thing about residues. Anyway, I extrapolated kitkus from pupkus, because Emma used to sit in the window and press her nose against it for hours, and I would constantly have to wash off all the little spots all in a row.

[gwyn-r.livejournal.com]

Oh, I like those!! Maybe cat-gravity could be portmanteau'd to catvity?

[gwyn-r.livejournal.com]

I swear to god Olive has this unique ability to find an artery and put thousands of pounds of pressure on it. It's like they KNOW.

[gwyn-r.livejournal.com]

Must... not... move...

Re: Catiquet has two meanings:

[gwyn-r.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I have to remember who REALLY runs this place. I fail miserably and must be occasionally reminded.

[gwyn-r.livejournal.com]

A tailsweep?

[gwyn-r.livejournal.com]

Yes! I totally forgot what that was like, it's been so long since I had a kitty that would cuddle and that would even happen. He makes me sneeze when he does that!

[gwyn-r.livejournal.com]

BTW, what is this QI you speak of?

[tzikeh.livejournal.com]

OH MY GOD GWYN I MUST INTRODUCE YOU TO THE GLORY THAT IS QI.

But I have to go to bed now.

I'll email you tomorrow evening.