Bears bears bears
Dec. 10th, 2017 01:51 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
gwynFinishing the last part of the writing for my Yuletide story is turning out to be quite a challenge--I'm at nearly 3k and it's just not interesting or close to being all down on paper, and I open the file every day and faff around on Tumblr and write a couple words here and there but nothing significant. I mean, last Sunday minim_calibre and I went to a coffeeshop and wrote and I had nothing, but got about 1,300 words that night, so I can't quite put myself down for the count. But focusing is hard and it's been easier to dictate notes for later in the story in Evernote than to actually write words in Word.
It's not helped, I'm sure, by the emotional stuff--I had an epiphany the other day of what it needed so it wasn't a couple people in a room yakking, but that is a deeply, very difficult and personal emotional hook. And I feel a lot of depression after finishing Celluloid Hero: I've been working on that since January (my first two chapters were posted on Feb. 2), so it's been with me through a lot of things including cancer), and the statistics make it seem like an abject failure even though I loved writing it, and there's probably a bit of post-partum depression talking, too.
So after I rake up the last of the leaves today I have to hunker down and finish this thing so I can begin editing and trying to find the shape of it. I'm never sure what's worse--having a recipient who gives you way too specific and demanding of a prompt, or one who doesn't give you much to go on at all. I've never had the former, but I seem to get the latter a lot. My constant fear is disappointing them, or like last year where I'm pretty sure I disappointed them and my story got savaged on some communities. It's awful when you feel like, here, have this terrible gift. Everyone says it sucks! Happy holidays!
minim_calibre and I went to a coffeeshop and wrote and I had nothing, but got about 1,300 words that night, so I can't quite put myself down for the count. But focusing is hard and it's been easier to dictate notes for later in the story in Evernote than to actually write words in Word.It's not helped, I'm sure, by the emotional stuff--I had an epiphany the other day of what it needed so it wasn't a couple people in a room yakking, but that is a deeply, very difficult and personal emotional hook. And I feel a lot of depression after finishing Celluloid Hero: I've been working on that since January (my first two chapters were posted on Feb. 2), so it's been with me through a lot of things including cancer), and the statistics make it seem like an abject failure even though I loved writing it, and there's probably a bit of post-partum depression talking, too.
So after I rake up the last of the leaves today I have to hunker down and finish this thing so I can begin editing and trying to find the shape of it. I'm never sure what's worse--having a recipient who gives you way too specific and demanding of a prompt, or one who doesn't give you much to go on at all. I've never had the former, but I seem to get the latter a lot. My constant fear is disappointing them, or like last year where I'm pretty sure I disappointed them and my story got savaged on some communities. It's awful when you feel like, here, have this terrible gift. Everyone says it sucks! Happy holidays!
