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Blurby updates
Apr. 26th, 2005 01:37 pmI am too tired, worn down, sad, and miserable to do anything like an update. I can't even skip the 500 or so entries I'd need to read my flist, but I know people have been busy just from the little peeking I've done. Five days without net access is really tough sometimes -- at the very least, just for cleaning up the 150 a day spam messages I get.
So I give you the awful weekend of clearing out my sister's house as TV Guide blurbs.
Wed. April 20 7:20 pm on
Alaska Airlines Hates Me Reality. Once again Alaska delays its San Diego flight, and a panicked traveler gasps for breath during an anxiety attack.
My Sister's Empty Room Drama. A woman sees her sister's empty bedroom for the first time, where the finality of her death seems even more acute, causing her to break down into hysterical sobs.
Thur. April 21 all day
Gwyneth and the Terrible, Horrible, No-Good, Very Bad Day Situation Comedy. Out of town friends arrive to help a woman deal with clearing out her sister's house and getting ready for a garage sale, while the woman tries to cope with her deaf, cantankerous father after he wakes her up at the crack of O-dark-30 and spends the day getting in the way. Zaniness ensues.
The Guest Who Would Not Leave Movie, Tragicomedy. An annoying, abrasive, and offensive friend of a woman's deceased sister will not leave the house they are trying to clear out, even when other friends make pointed "leave now" gestures. She proceeds to lecture the surviving sister, while also stealing items from the dead woman's house, even though she is being left a large cash gift in the will.
The Porno Letters Comedy Movie. A woman is shocked to find her virginal, pure as the driven snow sister's racy, pornish e-mails to a boyfriend she didn't even know about.
No One Sleeps Here Movie, Horror. Two women can't sleep in a house haunted by grief, anxiety, yowling and puking cats, allergies, and Harley Davidson engines.
Friday, April 22 all day
Stickers From Hell Sports. A woman and her sister's friends go to Target, the drugstore, and other places to buy garage sale necessities, which are then fought over during the pricing of things. Sharpie pen wars and backbreaking work highlight the daylong festivities. When two women are left alone for the brunt of the work, other contestants come in for a brutal in absentia name-calling. Eye-dagger throwing competition at the Friend Everyone Hates caps off the event.
Hugged by a Waiter Drama. When a woman takes the friends who helped her sister through her battle with cancer out to dinner at her sister's favorite restaurant, she makes a pact with the waiter that he will bring her the tab, ignoring the other requests she knows the friends will make to spare her paying for the bar bill, etc. Though the waiter is standoffish at first, towards the end he warms up to the loud and gregarious group. By the evening's end he comes out to the street where the woman is waiting for her car, and hugs her. She thinks it's just for the "only basically decent tip," but finds out that it's her story that has touched the waiter so much, in this heartwarming family movie.
No One Sleeps Here Repeat.
Saturday, April 23, all day
The Terminator 4: The Misanthrope Action Movie. A woman vows to kill all garage sale people everywhere on earth in revenge for their petty, vicious, moneygrubbing, apalling, offensively miserly behavior. Except for the really cute guy with the nice ass (and nice wife) who lived a few blocks away from her sale and who bought a bunch of big ticket items.
The Weirdest Vet on Earth Reality. A visit to the strangest, most run-down, peculiarly '70s veterinarian's office on the planet, where doors don't close, cats freak out because of wandering cats and dogs that roam from room to room, linoleum peels from floors and walls, and everyone looks like hippies or ten-year-olds. In this episode, two cats are getting certified for airline travel, even though one looks as if he will keel over dead at any moment.
No, *I* Get to Kill Her Game Show. Contestants, all friends or relatives of a deceased woman, vie to see who will get to do the honors of beating to death the woman's friend, who has annoyed everyone to their last nerve, even the deceased woman's normally happily clueless father.
Sunday, April 24, all day
Abandonment Movie. A woman experiences depression and sadness in her sister's empty house after the sister's friends have left for home, leaving her alone to deal with clearing out the remainder of the house, including the volumes of photo albums and memories.
The Best Dinner Ever Cooking. The dearest friend of a deceased woman cooks dinner for the family, as well as for a friend whose standby plane ticket did not allow her to leave on time. Cooking lessons and a fantastic meal make for a memorable evening.
Just You and Me Drama. A woman bonds with her dead sister's cats, knowing she will never see them again after the following morning.
Monday, April 25, noon
Alaska Airlines Hates Me Reality. Repeat of the episode where there is a one and a half hour delay, then travelers are forced to wait even longer to get home because Shuttle Express is slow. Highlights of the episode involve switching seats with an elderly woman so she can sit with her husband (and because it's her birthday), which turns out to have unexpectedly positive consequences when a fellow traveler from the back of the plane tells a woman she lucked out -- two babies behind her original seat never stopped crying during the flight.
The Best Place on Earth Drama. Crashing and burning at home.
So I give you the awful weekend of clearing out my sister's house as TV Guide blurbs.
Wed. April 20 7:20 pm on
Alaska Airlines Hates Me Reality. Once again Alaska delays its San Diego flight, and a panicked traveler gasps for breath during an anxiety attack.
My Sister's Empty Room Drama. A woman sees her sister's empty bedroom for the first time, where the finality of her death seems even more acute, causing her to break down into hysterical sobs.
Thur. April 21 all day
Gwyneth and the Terrible, Horrible, No-Good, Very Bad Day Situation Comedy. Out of town friends arrive to help a woman deal with clearing out her sister's house and getting ready for a garage sale, while the woman tries to cope with her deaf, cantankerous father after he wakes her up at the crack of O-dark-30 and spends the day getting in the way. Zaniness ensues.
The Guest Who Would Not Leave Movie, Tragicomedy. An annoying, abrasive, and offensive friend of a woman's deceased sister will not leave the house they are trying to clear out, even when other friends make pointed "leave now" gestures. She proceeds to lecture the surviving sister, while also stealing items from the dead woman's house, even though she is being left a large cash gift in the will.
The Porno Letters Comedy Movie. A woman is shocked to find her virginal, pure as the driven snow sister's racy, pornish e-mails to a boyfriend she didn't even know about.
No One Sleeps Here Movie, Horror. Two women can't sleep in a house haunted by grief, anxiety, yowling and puking cats, allergies, and Harley Davidson engines.
Friday, April 22 all day
Stickers From Hell Sports. A woman and her sister's friends go to Target, the drugstore, and other places to buy garage sale necessities, which are then fought over during the pricing of things. Sharpie pen wars and backbreaking work highlight the daylong festivities. When two women are left alone for the brunt of the work, other contestants come in for a brutal in absentia name-calling. Eye-dagger throwing competition at the Friend Everyone Hates caps off the event.
Hugged by a Waiter Drama. When a woman takes the friends who helped her sister through her battle with cancer out to dinner at her sister's favorite restaurant, she makes a pact with the waiter that he will bring her the tab, ignoring the other requests she knows the friends will make to spare her paying for the bar bill, etc. Though the waiter is standoffish at first, towards the end he warms up to the loud and gregarious group. By the evening's end he comes out to the street where the woman is waiting for her car, and hugs her. She thinks it's just for the "only basically decent tip," but finds out that it's her story that has touched the waiter so much, in this heartwarming family movie.
No One Sleeps Here Repeat.
Saturday, April 23, all day
The Terminator 4: The Misanthrope Action Movie. A woman vows to kill all garage sale people everywhere on earth in revenge for their petty, vicious, moneygrubbing, apalling, offensively miserly behavior. Except for the really cute guy with the nice ass (and nice wife) who lived a few blocks away from her sale and who bought a bunch of big ticket items.
The Weirdest Vet on Earth Reality. A visit to the strangest, most run-down, peculiarly '70s veterinarian's office on the planet, where doors don't close, cats freak out because of wandering cats and dogs that roam from room to room, linoleum peels from floors and walls, and everyone looks like hippies or ten-year-olds. In this episode, two cats are getting certified for airline travel, even though one looks as if he will keel over dead at any moment.
No, *I* Get to Kill Her Game Show. Contestants, all friends or relatives of a deceased woman, vie to see who will get to do the honors of beating to death the woman's friend, who has annoyed everyone to their last nerve, even the deceased woman's normally happily clueless father.
Sunday, April 24, all day
Abandonment Movie. A woman experiences depression and sadness in her sister's empty house after the sister's friends have left for home, leaving her alone to deal with clearing out the remainder of the house, including the volumes of photo albums and memories.
The Best Dinner Ever Cooking. The dearest friend of a deceased woman cooks dinner for the family, as well as for a friend whose standby plane ticket did not allow her to leave on time. Cooking lessons and a fantastic meal make for a memorable evening.
Just You and Me Drama. A woman bonds with her dead sister's cats, knowing she will never see them again after the following morning.
Monday, April 25, noon
Alaska Airlines Hates Me Reality. Repeat of the episode where there is a one and a half hour delay, then travelers are forced to wait even longer to get home because Shuttle Express is slow. Highlights of the episode involve switching seats with an elderly woman so she can sit with her husband (and because it's her birthday), which turns out to have unexpectedly positive consequences when a fellow traveler from the back of the plane tells a woman she lucked out -- two babies behind her original seat never stopped crying during the flight.
The Best Place on Earth Drama. Crashing and burning at home.
