Lost in space

Hard to believe it's three months now since Sis_r died. It feels like forever, and yet no time at all. Every word, every gesture, the sound of her breathing and the papery feel of her skin, the haunted and confused look in her eye... all feel as fresh as if it just happened. Yet all her things are gone, her cats live in another part of the country, her house is being sold... she's fading farther and farther away from me every moment. She's still a part of me, still feels tangible, yet it's like vapor, dissipating in the air. As my words did: I never told her the things I wanted to say. Even when death is staring right at you, somehow you still believe you have time. And now the things I should have said just sit here, scattered around my mind, making painful noise and they won't leave me alone.