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Lords of Kobol, hear my plea
Aug. 15th, 2005 08:24 amDear Lords of Kobol:
Surely you must know if there are spoiler pages or communities where spoilers are posted regarding the televised histories of the battles between the Cylons and the humans, and their pilgrimage to Earth. I keep asking, you know, humans, but they either never respond to me (I may not be worthy of a response, in which case maybe you, as gods, might not deem me worthy, but I figure as gods, you might also be kinder than us mortals are to one another) or they say they don't read anything that would spoil the historical accounts. And even though, you know, I'm not asking them to read them, I just want to know where they *are*, lords, so that *I* can read them, these worthless humans (they're probably Cylon *copies*, the selfish bastards) still won't tell me.
Because the truth, oh Lords of Kobol, is that I cannot stand watching the histories anymore unless I know the ending of the episodic tales. I can't handle the tension. It will kill me. Back here on our planet, I used to watch another history, about a girl called Buffy and then her ex-boyfriend Angel, and I could not stand the antici.........pation, either, and people would help the devout through their torment by posting information about the upcoming histories. Surely you must have provided for us, your flock, for these important stories. But I cannot find them, even through the help of your Internets priests.
Would I join any community, list, or bulletin board if I could be guaranteed of spoilers? You bet your Arrow of Apollo I would! Yet somehow the secret of the histories is as tightly guarded as the location of the tomb of Athena. Help me, Lords, and direct me to the place where I can find spoilers. Otherwise, I might die.
Oh, and while you're at it: There's another history down here on Earth (really, you'll get here eventually, I promise -- we're still waiting for you!) that I would slay a thousand Cylon bleached-blonde hos for, easy. If you know of any spoiler pages for Veronica Mars and its upcoming season of histories, then I would make many many many blessings in your honor.
Surely you must know if there are spoiler pages or communities where spoilers are posted regarding the televised histories of the battles between the Cylons and the humans, and their pilgrimage to Earth. I keep asking, you know, humans, but they either never respond to me (I may not be worthy of a response, in which case maybe you, as gods, might not deem me worthy, but I figure as gods, you might also be kinder than us mortals are to one another) or they say they don't read anything that would spoil the historical accounts. And even though, you know, I'm not asking them to read them, I just want to know where they *are*, lords, so that *I* can read them, these worthless humans (they're probably Cylon *copies*, the selfish bastards) still won't tell me.
Because the truth, oh Lords of Kobol, is that I cannot stand watching the histories anymore unless I know the ending of the episodic tales. I can't handle the tension. It will kill me. Back here on our planet, I used to watch another history, about a girl called Buffy and then her ex-boyfriend Angel, and I could not stand the antici.........pation, either, and people would help the devout through their torment by posting information about the upcoming histories. Surely you must have provided for us, your flock, for these important stories. But I cannot find them, even through the help of your Internets priests.
Would I join any community, list, or bulletin board if I could be guaranteed of spoilers? You bet your Arrow of Apollo I would! Yet somehow the secret of the histories is as tightly guarded as the location of the tomb of Athena. Help me, Lords, and direct me to the place where I can find spoilers. Otherwise, I might die.
Oh, and while you're at it: There's another history down here on Earth (really, you'll get here eventually, I promise -- we're still waiting for you!) that I would slay a thousand Cylon bleached-blonde hos for, easy. If you know of any spoiler pages for Veronica Mars and its upcoming season of histories, then I would make many many many blessings in your honor.
