VVC and me

Yesterday I sent off the master disc to justacat for the Media Cannibals remasters dvd that we will have at the con. As I mentioned before, we're bringing just enough to fill the "I'm interested" orders we received before; if you didn't specifically tell me you were interested, then you won't get one, most likely. Because I'm not able to make a lot of these right now, and due to the fact that more vids will be added (I'm afraid we weren't able to get the Wiseguy vid Lives in the Balance in time, but I'm hopeful I can add it after the con when the stress dies down), I'm not going to put these on the orphan table with the other vid discs I'll bring. Because we're not able to sell out of our rooms in Chicago, I'll tote them around with me and you can find me to claim your disc. Or see Justacat. (Due to the redonkulous expense of producing this thing, I'm going to call it around $5)

We're both reasonably easy to find in a crowd since we're both pretty tall, but she is thin and pretty and has curly blond hair, whereas I am fat and ugly and have red hair. I tend to go to a lot of vid shows, more than panels. The truth is, I just can't get enough vids. It's like a disease. But I will be running the Additional Source vidshow and panel, so you can of course find me there.

And speaking of which, I will confess a few things here. I have a very hard time at VVC, despite the fact that I love it so much. I will be the one not dancing at Club Vivid, because I feel awkward and stupid due to the aforementioned big fat and ugly thing. I will probably also be the one standing alone, or in the lobby alone, or wandering the halls alone, or sitting alone at a vidshow unless I have picked some poor soul who is too nice to flick me off like the barnacle I make myself. And I am more than happy to not be alone, but I have a hard time doing the barnacle thing, because I have this outstanding belief that no one wants to hang with me. This isn't just mild paranoia or self-pity; it's been ingrained in me so deep that nothing is able to budge it. The message I heard all my life from family, teachers, "friends," and co-workers is that I'm a general failure at being a human being, and so I am deeply, deeply reluctant to approach people at a con. I do sometimes, but the whole time I'm aware that the people I tagged along to dinner with probably don't want me there. OTOH, I have a great dress and shoes for Club VV, even if I'm too fat for them.

So, if you're the "I feel alone" type too, then feel free to tag along with me. I'm not in with the in crowd, but we can be out from the in crowd together or something. If see you sitting alone, I might even ask if you want to get food or something. I am not in any of the hot fandoms currently, and so I don't really get invited to the room parties that happen, but I can converse on almost any fandom that's known to more than a few people except for anime, which I'm only marginally versed in. Even if I'm not into it, I can converse, or listen to you converse. I am a happy listener as much as I like to talk. And I would be happy to go to a room party, too, even if it's for stuff I don't like, because I just like hanging out with people. Unfortunately I can't spend much time in the con suite because it's just too painfully cold in there for me.

Warning: I will probably be sick before the premieres show. By now, you'd think this would be old hat, but it isn't for me, especially this year because the reaction to my premiering vid has been so bad that I'm kind of dreading seeing it in front of a room full of people. I remember how awful I felt last year, and I think this year will be worse because it's not only a sloooow, ponderous, inscrutable vid about a woman, but one of the hardest vids I've ever made and took me the longest time. Thanks to laurashapiro, it's much better than it would have been, but I think it's still going to bomb, so I will probably be vibrating with terror leading up to premieres.

As I've mentioned before, vidders are insane, yo.

Shake ya ass!

We've got another Media Cannibals Professionals vid up at the Circuit Archive, whoo-hoo! We'll be putting these up slowly, with more coming after Vividcon. justacat and I want to tweak one part of Detachable Penis, so in the meantime, we're putting up another old favorite feel-good vid, 500 Miles (I'm Gonna Be), by Sandy and Alex.

The interesting thing is that this is a remake of a remake. The first version appeared on MC tape 1, but the timing had gone wonky when Sandy tried to fix something, and so she and Alex remade it for tape 2. Not only were they able to get the timing better, there was the little thing of what "havering" meant -- someone had told them an incorrect meaning originally, which a born and bred Scot corrected them on, so they were able to sub in a perfect clip for that line (Bodie dropping his head at Doyle going on and on never fails to make me laugh). I actually remember them making this -- it was the first day I had met Alex and Tina for brunch, and as we were talking and they were filling me in on fannish stuff, the phone kept ringing, and she would explain to Tina that it was Sandy, asking for another clip. I had only the vaguest idea of what was going on. Little did I know it wouldn't be long before I would be working with them on an actual vid.

Anyway, the vid is truly a celebration of Doyle's ass, and the stellar work his cameraman did in capturing it in all its glory as Doyle chases after Bodie. And if you are coming to Vividcon, you can sing along with it, even -- it's going to be in the karaoke show.