Stuff what I do not get

This weekend was HORRIBLE. I started off Saturday morning by trying to ignore the migraine I'd had all day Friday, only to hit my knee so hard on the sharp corner of the coffee table that my whole kneecap is black now. And then spent the rest of the day vomiting from the migraine, which didn't go away till Monday. mlyn had one, too, and movies_michelle was sick and coughing her lungs up. And then I found out that alexfandra got run over by a freaking car! When out walking (on the light, I might add) with The World's Sweetest Dog (TM). Thank god they are both all right, but jaysus. She's got black bruises all over her, and I hope they nail the old biddy who shouldn't be driving's ass.

But seriously: World, WTF? STOP IT RIGHT NOW.

Something else that is on my mind, fannishly related. I keep seeing these icons on my flist and f of flists. They are either blank and say something like "Not in your fandom" or "Still not into your fandom," or they have the name of the fandom or a pic from it, and one of the same phrases. I do not get it.

There are plenty of fandoms I dislike, and plenty I wish would go away, and plenty that I know I will never get into no matter how much or how well people pimp them. When someone gives me a chance, and I'm among friends, I can be egged into explosivly detailing my dislike of those fandoms, even. (Poor sherrold once asked me in a jocular manner why I hated Jared Padalecki so much and I went off on this 10 minute tangent and then they had to take me out back and hose me down, after laughing at me, of course.) But I usually confine it to my friends, and I usually confine my rants to... you know, momentary rants. Sometimes I try to make fun of myself for not liking something, like the zombie fandoms post. Because, you know, I think you gotta have a sense of humor about this or you will be eaten alive in fandom.

But the one thing I would never consider doing is being in your face confrontational to people about it, or dedicating my LJ space or something else to talk about how much I hate something or how much I'm above it. Because, dude, if you don't like something, why waste energy thinking about it? Spend your energy on what you do like. Spend some energy on sharing your love with the world and getting them to join you. Spread the joy.

Isn't that what fandom is supposed to be -- fun? Aren't we supposed to be sharing what we love with like-minded individuals, coming together as a community? Why try to poison what people enjoy? My antipathy toward my friends' fandoms means just that -- I'm not into their fandoms, I may even loathe it, but I am into those people. They are my friends and acquaintances. Why would I want to, as cereta always says, piss in their Cheerios?

I just really don't get it. It's as baffling to me as those hate sites that people put up, about characters they hate or a show they hate. Why spend time thinking about something you dislike? Just because you're feeling petty and jealous that everyone's having a good time in a fandom you don't think deserves it? I wish everyone could be as into Charlie Jade as I am, but I know that's not gonna happen, and turning that disappointment into, say, blaring from my LJ all the time through icons and posts that I hate SPN or SGA or Heroes or whatever the hell else is out there causing this behavior just seems so... totally against the whole point of fandom to me.

I keep thinking of sdwolpfup's More Joy thing from last month. How we can wish someone well if they cut us off in traffic instead of cursing them, or what have you. And it seems to me that spreading More Joy, and not trying to pee all over someone's happy-making thing du jour, should be the fannish ethos. I used to expend a lot of energy getting into pissy fights with people back in the day, because, well, I started out on Usenet and that's what you did.

But a few years ago, I decided that it was time for the kinder, gentler Gwyneth approach. And you know what? I still have my mini-meltdowns about characters or fandoms I hate, and I still fight with people, but those vents are farther and fewer between, and they're also among friends. If I can't joke about it or turn it into self-mocking humor, then I don't say it. I would just never consider plastering an icon that's essentially telling people to... well, shut their yap about their fandom because it's just not all that to me. I would prefer to spend my energy trying to get people to come to MY fandom, frankly. I've been very bad about that lately -- I haven't completed my Buffy WIP, I haven't written fanfic in the past couple years, but I still vid and try to meta once in a while. I want to take the More Joy approach.

Sometimes, I fail in the More Joy approach, because I'm human, and most of us are pretty cranky and petty at times. I fail frequently at being positive. (There was a time, after my sister died, that even seeing House icons and such brought me a lot of pain -- horrible doctors were a very fresh wound for me, and I discussed even filtering most of my friends list. Time kind of smoothed that over.) But that's still my mantra now more than ever, as I stare at these icons and wonder why this is a cool thing to do. Because, man, if that's what makes you cooler than thou, I'll take being square any day.

I'm not sure I want it explained to me, but I suppose if someone has a reasonable explanation for being in your face about people's fandoms and peeing on their Honey-Nuts, then by all means, 'splain away.