In which I am afraid of the machines

Hi there! Guess what I did today? I went somewhere and exercised for the first time in nearly two decades where it didn't involve some kind of plant or staying in my general neighborhood. I went to the gym!

Many years ago when I was working down in Kent at a company I thought I would be with for the rest of my born days (I wasn't so much naive as I had found my perfect job and I was well-loved in my position and everything was going swimmingly until my boss showed her true psycho colors and purged me as she had many people before me), I bought a lifetime membership in the nearby Bally club, where I would work out with my friend on our lunch hour. It had a pool, so that made it worthwhile for me, because I would rather swim than do anything else. But then I lost the job, and I went to the one across the lake from me a few times, but I felt awful there. The pool was kinda gross and cold, and whenever I would work on the weight machines, there were tons of people around and everyone seemed really mean and I was very intimidated. So I never went again, though I kept the membership through the yearly small fee.

A few weeks ago I went to the Y with gattagrigia and sherrold up near gattagrigia's house, which is new and very lovely, and we swam and spa'd our afternoon away, and it was wonderful. I figured, if I started going to the club once or twice a week, and swam with them a few times a month, I might be able to get rid of some of this awful weight I can't shake. I have cut my eating in half, literally, and I garden and walk all the time, and most of what I do eat is all healthy and stuff, but I still can't get this stupid weight off. So stronger measures must be taken.

The thing is, I hate gym exercise. I'd much rather be out. But the cold and damp get to me too much, I'm realizing, and I don't do enough in winter. Today I tried out the recumbent bike, but the elliptical machine, which calls to me, also intimidates me like hell, and rather than make an ass of myself, I decided to forgo it for another day. Then I went down and did weight machines, most of which are a lot nicer than the ones I used 18 years ago. ;-) I absolutely love the torso twister machine, and the leg machines are all good, but the one I like best is the one that simulates squats, which I can't do because of the no cartilage in my knees thing. Of course, I have really strong legs already and always have thanks to high jumping when I was young, but that machine is just really enjoyable.

I don't think there really is anything for the spot I need to lose weight in the most -- this weird space above my hips, at the top of the glutes, which I don't even know what it is. It's like, nothing targets that area, but that's where most of the fat is that I need to get rid of to fit in my favorite pants again. Also back fat. ::Ew, hates back fat.:: I realize that's probably just the cardio... but the cardio confuses the crap out of me. I have never had good aerobic condition -- which is weird coming from the camping family from hell, where it was expected I could carry a 50-pound pack before I was even a tween and we climbed a mountain when I was 17 (I mean, a real mountain). And so any kind of aerobic things wipe me out within 5 minutes -- my friend used to make me do the stair machines, and she never sweated, while 5 minutes in I was not only dripping with sweat, I couldn't breathe and wanted to die.

The machines now ask you to put in all this info -- your age, your target heart rate, how long, etc. I put in 15 minutes and made it only 8, because even the recumbent bike still hurts my pelvic bones like whoa. But how the hell would I know what my target heart rate is? How the #$&!@#* do you figure that out? I haven't got a clue and the bored desk person is of no help.

Anyway, all in all, it actually felt good. Like I did after swimming, I wanted to come home and curl up and sleep, but I'm trying to stay awake. (And, um, I ate a sweet roll when I got home so... yeah.) Too much to do still today. I feel like rubber and my chest aches, but more weights will fix that as I get used to them. Still don't know about that elliptical. O.-

And it's pretty easy -- I think if I just roll out of bed and head over there after traffic is clear, then I can come home and shower without looking at gross hair-clogged drains and catching weird foot diseases; I could wear only my workout clothes and just come straight back. Sweaty, but simple.