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I'm really annoyed, but I don't know why
Aug. 24th, 2011 09:31 pmAll day today and yesterday, I've been in this seriously annoyed space. I'm just cranky about almost everything. It started when I was looking up some stuff on Fanlore for preparing this Media Cannibals site, and I discovered someone had slapped a label on one of my old vids (that isn't even online, yeesh), and it's continued through trying to work on my CVV vid (WHY can my clips of Yentl not work in any format? Why must they keep scaling despite my best efforts to bring them to 100 percent? WHY SO DIFFICULT?), and my neighbor has had contractors engaged in ceaseless jackhammering under my window for days now and I can't block the sound out beyond muffling it a tiny bit.
I just can't pinpoint why things are making me so crabby. I'm mildly work-stressed, but that's not it. The jackhammering, maybe, because it's coupled with every fucking morning getting a wakeup call from her doberman pup with his endless barking. But usually I get on with the day. Last week I had gone downtown for the dentist (not cheap -- it's 8 dollars just to park for an hour and a half, and I don't have insurance, so I have to pay for my cleanings) and they had moved my appointment off the books for some bizarre reason, and I was so pissed I walked out without rescheduling. I'm feeling poor, which always makes me testy (thank you VVC for emptying my pockets!), but that was worse than I usually react to people messing my day up.
I'm cranky about the fanlore thing for some reason. Someone at some point slapped a label on my old vid that follows David Duchovny in his kind of girly roles with "genderfuck," and it really pissed me off. I hate labels, I don't label my stories or use warnings (except for stories containing major character death, because my friends hate stories with death and I like my friends), and it just really irks me that someone feels they can slap a label that I feel is so reductive on my vid without asking me. No one is going to see it, no one is going to look up info for tape 4 or whatever, I know this, and logically it doesn't make sense to be pissed about it, but I am. Is it that I don't like the term, because I think it's reductive? Is it that I don't like someone I don't know slapping things on my stuff? Is it that I wasn't asked? ::shakes fists at sky:: I don't know!
I can take it off, but since I don't know who put it there or why, it'll just come back again (that's my main reason I haven't been active on fanlore for a long time; the fact that you can make factual changes or clean/clear something up, and someone can just come in and mess it all up once you're done is frustrating to someone who makes her living correcting errors) most likely. I need to do some cleanup to some things about Sandy and the MCs that I've seen in the pages, but you never really know what else will come along after you've done that. I don't know why people love labels so much in fandom. I have a love/hate relationship with tags -- I love them when they tell me that a story is, for instance, Michael/Mahone slash, but when they start getting into labels that codify something complex with simplistic words, then I get all "bleh" about them. It gives me a headache. But I don't know why! I want someone to come along who can explain my crabbiness to me. This is something I would have talked to Sandy about and she would have made me laugh at myself and decrabbify.
:: is now crabby AND sad::
I just can't pinpoint why things are making me so crabby. I'm mildly work-stressed, but that's not it. The jackhammering, maybe, because it's coupled with every fucking morning getting a wakeup call from her doberman pup with his endless barking. But usually I get on with the day. Last week I had gone downtown for the dentist (not cheap -- it's 8 dollars just to park for an hour and a half, and I don't have insurance, so I have to pay for my cleanings) and they had moved my appointment off the books for some bizarre reason, and I was so pissed I walked out without rescheduling. I'm feeling poor, which always makes me testy (thank you VVC for emptying my pockets!), but that was worse than I usually react to people messing my day up.
I'm cranky about the fanlore thing for some reason. Someone at some point slapped a label on my old vid that follows David Duchovny in his kind of girly roles with "genderfuck," and it really pissed me off. I hate labels, I don't label my stories or use warnings (except for stories containing major character death, because my friends hate stories with death and I like my friends), and it just really irks me that someone feels they can slap a label that I feel is so reductive on my vid without asking me. No one is going to see it, no one is going to look up info for tape 4 or whatever, I know this, and logically it doesn't make sense to be pissed about it, but I am. Is it that I don't like the term, because I think it's reductive? Is it that I don't like someone I don't know slapping things on my stuff? Is it that I wasn't asked? ::shakes fists at sky:: I don't know!
I can take it off, but since I don't know who put it there or why, it'll just come back again (that's my main reason I haven't been active on fanlore for a long time; the fact that you can make factual changes or clean/clear something up, and someone can just come in and mess it all up once you're done is frustrating to someone who makes her living correcting errors) most likely. I need to do some cleanup to some things about Sandy and the MCs that I've seen in the pages, but you never really know what else will come along after you've done that. I don't know why people love labels so much in fandom. I have a love/hate relationship with tags -- I love them when they tell me that a story is, for instance, Michael/Mahone slash, but when they start getting into labels that codify something complex with simplistic words, then I get all "bleh" about them. It gives me a headache. But I don't know why! I want someone to come along who can explain my crabbiness to me. This is something I would have talked to Sandy about and she would have made me laugh at myself and decrabbify.
:: is now crabby AND sad::
