Aug. 18th, 2018

gwyn: (penguinsucks infinitemonkeys)
In my previous posts I mentioned that I'd managed to injure myself pretty good at Vividcon on the first freakin' day, and it continues to be the gift that keeps on giving. Basically, what happened was, I wanted to walk down to the Walgreen's a little ways from the con hotel (there are two stores, equally distant from the hotel, both of which involve running across busy traffic to get to the side of the street with a sidewalk) and bullied [personal profile] minim_calibre into going with me, and [personal profile] franzeska threw in with us too. Not more than about fifteen feet from the front door, my foot caught the edge of a pothole in the parking lot/driveway and I went down like a sack of bricks.

I fall a lot. I'm a klutz, I injure myself pretty frequently, and I live with chronic pain so I have a pretty high pain threshold, but I knew right away that this was worse than usual and when Franzy and Min steadied me, I saw that the knee of my jeans was ripped out, and figured that meant blood. We staggered back into the lobby and I very rudely demanded a first aid kit and rolled up my jeans. So I bled all over the lobby and the desk people were very upset and not particularly happy with me. Rache [personal profile] wickedwords and Ivy and I think someone else, though I don't remember right now, came by and were helping, and Ivy had a bunch of bandages and first aid stuff because she'd had a wound herself that she was treating, and everyone was solicitous and helped me clean up and get my bearings.

I was crying, I don't really know why. I guess I was already emotional anyway about the con and knowing I'd never see many people again, and Rache kept saying, "You're in shock, you're shocky, it's okay." They took me up to my room and got me settled on the couch where I could elevate my leg, and use the ice pack the front desk made for me (those little round silver bolsters the rooms have now were very handy!), and put bandages on. I could feel that something was wrong in my wrist, in the same spot that I broke it many years ago.

Franzy and some other folks were going to get lunch down at the other store, so they wanted to get me something but I kept insisting I wasn't hungry--fortunately they persisted and brought me a sammich, which was actually really good for me. I'm not used to having help, I live alone and grew up in a family where I got whacked for not being able to take care of myself, so it was kind of hard to let go and let people help. And I felt incredibly guilty for taking people away from the con--programming or just seeing friends, they weren't doing it because they were babysitting me. But they were all so much smarter than me: getting me food ([personal profile] emyrys had kindly taken us to the store the night before, but I didn't buy anything, you know, healthful), min brought me some bottles of water so we could irrigate it (there was a lot of loose dirt and gravel in the pothole), figuring out next steps of what to do.

I was kind of obsessed about my vid show at 1--I'd worked so hard on that, trying to distill 20+ years of vidding history into 45 minutes, and I very much wanted to run it, which they all thought was nuts, but I promised I'd consider going to urgent care if I could just see my show, I'd never seen all the vids put together. [personal profile] therienne and [personal profile] arduinna had heard about the event, and wanted to take me to urgent care--they had a car and had found a place about five miles from the hotel. The hotel had wanted to send me to the ER in an ambulance (as if) and I was so worried about missing premieres that night and seeing my vid. I know how ridiculous that sounds, but...it was the last one, and VVC has always meant a lot to me, through thick and thin.

My room looked like a murder scene--bloody towels everywhere, the bathtub was full of bloody water from irrigating the knee, bandage wrappings. It was hilarious and I wish to hell I'd taken pictures of it (we'd had the presence of mind to take pictures of my knee, but we didn't think to get the murder room, though as min pointed out, it will live on in our hearts). While everyone was out getting food, I had to pee, and the toilet in my room was ridiculously low (I'd had trouble the night before with that, I'm not a short person and it was absurdly low to the floor) and really hard to sit on with one useful leg and one useful hand. So I called the front desk and asked if it might be possible to get one of the ADA rooms--they're in short supply, so I didn't think they would, but the manager came on to speak to me and said they'd get me one, and was very accommodating in general and we talked about everything.

So therienne and arduinna rounded me up after the show and we went off to urgent care. It was incredibly helpful to have them with me--they know me well, and when the nurse asked about health conditions, reminded me about the cancer, which I wouldn't even have thought to mention. The doctor was really a cutie, he was funny and sweet, and thorough, I felt. He didn't want to close up the three little flaps of skin left on my knee because he was afraid if there were still particles in there after his irrigation, it would get infected. They took x-rays and gave me a disc of them, gave me a brace, told me to see my regular doctor in a week because this type of fracture doesn't always show at first, but does in about seven days (!).

Everyone ([personal profile] the_shoshanna had joined us) helped me scoop up my stuff and move me (the new room was great--right near con space so I didn't have to walk far), and I spent a while holed up in my room, resting, till dinner time. Honestly, I felt pretty okay by then, the shocky, wobbly feeling had gone away after urgent care--there's something about knowing what's wrong that makes you feel better. I made it through the first third of the three hour premieres show, went back to the room and watched the second hour on streaming, and came back for third, where my vid was scheduled. It's funny, because everyone keeps saying that people must have been coming up to me and crying at me after the show, but only a few people spoke to me, and I honestly don't think that most people were crying because of the vid, but because it was the last premieres show; a few were, but I don't think it was quite the way many people thought.

The next day I had a little meltdown at min in text because I couldn't get to the store for more bandages; I finally got a Lyft and had to listen to the guy telling me about how evil Obamacare is--no tip for you, asshole, even though you waited for me while I was in the store. I was pretty bummed that I couldn't really dance for Club Vivid, or wear my heels and cool pants, and had to keep going to rest for a bit. Wearing jeans was a pain, because my knee was so swollen, so I spent most of the weekend in yoga pants.

On Monday I was scheduled to go to downtown Chicago for a few days, so I went in with [personal profile] killabeez and Mrs. Killa, and devilpiglet and I met up with them for an incredibly lovely dinner at a wonderful new Italian place. I wasn't up to much sightseeing, which bummed me out (there are still so many places I haven't seen, may never now that I won't be going back there), but I'm also one of those weirdos who like to hang out in nice hotel rooms. The bell staff at the Palomar were so nice to me, they fussed over me and took really good care of me--yeah, I know people who work in high end hotels are paid to pretend to care about guests, but these guys were great. I was SO looking forward to the pool at the Palomar and the rooftop deck, but they said no submerging the knee, boooo. Never got the chance to take my swimsuit out of the suitcase.

When I was leaving, they put me in a town car and told the driver to charge me what a cab would, and I had a very entertaining ride to the airport. He said I was the best fare he'd had, and I said "I bet you say that to all the girls." But I admit, we did have a great conversation. At the airport, I was pretty early, but there's this bar Rache and I discovered a few years back in the L terminal that's incredibly awesome. It's called Ice, it's all done up in silver and white, and they have excellent food and very good drinks, so I went there and chilled for a little while with iced tea and a fantastic charcuterie plate. It's a very civilized way to wait for your flight. (A few years ago I'd been in there and the bartender remarked on my Funko Pop Winter Soldier shirt, how much he liked my "Bucky Barnes shirt" and I was like ::heart eyes:: because he'd called him by name, recognizing my boo's personhood.)

I think between hotels, cabs, restaurants, and flying, it was hard to keep the knee safe, so by yesterday I was feeling pretty bad: it was puffy, sore, and very red, felt incredibly hot, all of which wasn't helped by the adhesive on the bandages I'd been using (I'm mildly allergic) giving me sores and rashes on either side of the abrasion. Since I had to go in anyway for new x-rays, they looked at the wound and she rather vividly said it was "festering," so they washed it out again and gave me a prescription for antibiotics. It probably wasn't the best idea to drive there--I got caught in some truly terrible traffic where it took me 40 minutes to get through one light, and I felt feverish and lousy with the sun beating down on the car and my knee and wrist aching.

It's already feeling slightly better this morning after just one pill. I'm waiting to hear back about the x-rays but it's a Saturday, so who knows. And I've got the streaming shows for all the VVC stuff I missed to watch, and I'd love to sit down with the DVDs too and watch all the things I either missed or didn't have the brain capacity for. The hardest part of VVC was knowing I might not see some of these people again, and missing the chance to spend time with them because I was a stupid klutz, but at least I can watch some of the programming, though the panels aren't included in that. So many panels I just couldn't get to!

I'm trying to catch up on comments too, but resting has been my imperative. I'm so grateful I had friends there, all of whom took such good care of me. This community is what I'll miss the most, and what I love most.

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