Love is love and not fade away
May. 20th, 2004 01:35 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
gwynSo many thoughts about Not Fade Away, and I will try to write something semicoherent tonight, though it will be hard. A lot of my judgement is clouded by the WB's astounding insult to fans (did those of you who downloaded the ep off the net see the WB's "thank you"?), by the blinding rage it leaves me with. It's hard to separate my feelings from that smug, clueless slap in the face. I want to do more than send hate mail -- I wish I knew someone who knew how to make letter bombs. Even with the good Gilmore Girls ending, I want to tell WB "You're dead to me! Dead!" and wish it would come true, that they would all die in a horrible fiery crash. I'm not sure what I'll do about GG, but outside of them, I will not be supporting them in any way. And they have stupid hair.
I look through my friends list, and I don't see people reacting the way I have -- the crying jags, the intensity of loss I feel. You must be out there, I know you must be, folks like me: people who believed in some small way that Sunnydale was real, that vampires and demons walk the world but are dealt with by brave heroes, that Angel's pocket of LA is truly there and I just have yet to stumble upon it, that evil will always exist but so will good, fighting the fight, champions. This was more than a TV show to me, more than a fandom. For eight years, Joss and Co. gave me something that felt as real as my own life. I wasn't just immersed in the fandom, I believed in it. And now it's gone, and I don't know that I can really accept it. It *hurts*. Unbelievably, bitterly so. No amount of peppy "ending it on a high note" or "not letting it get like the X-Files" or whatever will make the hurt go away.
I forgive everything I never liked, or characters I never could stand. I don't care -- I just want it back. All of it. There is no new Jossverse until 2005 and then it will be only two hours, and more lingering if we're lucky enough to get more Firefly after that. I don't want it to fade away.
I look through my friends list, and I don't see people reacting the way I have -- the crying jags, the intensity of loss I feel. You must be out there, I know you must be, folks like me: people who believed in some small way that Sunnydale was real, that vampires and demons walk the world but are dealt with by brave heroes, that Angel's pocket of LA is truly there and I just have yet to stumble upon it, that evil will always exist but so will good, fighting the fight, champions. This was more than a TV show to me, more than a fandom. For eight years, Joss and Co. gave me something that felt as real as my own life. I wasn't just immersed in the fandom, I believed in it. And now it's gone, and I don't know that I can really accept it. It *hurts*. Unbelievably, bitterly so. No amount of peppy "ending it on a high note" or "not letting it get like the X-Files" or whatever will make the hurt go away.
I forgive everything I never liked, or characters I never could stand. I don't care -- I just want it back. All of it. There is no new Jossverse until 2005 and then it will be only two hours, and more lingering if we're lucky enough to get more Firefly after that. I don't want it to fade away.
