Love is love and not fade away

[gwyn]

So many thoughts about Not Fade Away, and I will try to write something semicoherent tonight, though it will be hard. A lot of my judgement is clouded by the WB's astounding insult to fans (did those of you who downloaded the ep off the net see the WB's "thank you"?), by the blinding rage it leaves me with. It's hard to separate my feelings from that smug, clueless slap in the face. I want to do more than send hate mail -- I wish I knew someone who knew how to make letter bombs. Even with the good Gilmore Girls ending, I want to tell WB "You're dead to me! Dead!" and wish it would come true, that they would all die in a horrible fiery crash. I'm not sure what I'll do about GG, but outside of them, I will not be supporting them in any way. And they have stupid hair.

I look through my friends list, and I don't see people reacting the way I have -- the crying jags, the intensity of loss I feel. You must be out there, I know you must be, folks like me: people who believed in some small way that Sunnydale was real, that vampires and demons walk the world but are dealt with by brave heroes, that Angel's pocket of LA is truly there and I just have yet to stumble upon it, that evil will always exist but so will good, fighting the fight, champions. This was more than a TV show to me, more than a fandom. For eight years, Joss and Co. gave me something that felt as real as my own life. I wasn't just immersed in the fandom, I believed in it. And now it's gone, and I don't know that I can really accept it. It *hurts*. Unbelievably, bitterly so. No amount of peppy "ending it on a high note" or "not letting it get like the X-Files" or whatever will make the hurt go away.

I forgive everything I never liked, or characters I never could stand. I don't care -- I just want it back. All of it. There is no new Jossverse until 2005 and then it will be only two hours, and more lingering if we're lucky enough to get more Firefly after that. I don't want it to fade away.

Comments

[marsterslady.livejournal.com]

I don't see people reacting the way I have -- the crying jags, the intensity of loss I feel.

::raises hand:: It hurts.

[gwyn-r.livejournal.com]

I guess I haven't got through to all the right pages. I've been trying to squeeze all this into a busy day, and was starting to think that all my flist was these absurdly happy people, damn them. Once I write I will get better, I think, but... it kind of hurts too right now.

[kita0610.livejournal.com]

I feel like you do.

So does at least half my FL.

You're SO not alone.

((hugs))

[gwyn-r.livejournal.com]

Yeah. Sniff. I knew you'd feel that way. But there's too many people who are happy! They're bad and wrong and bad! Well, it was a great ep, so... I get that. But fuck the WB to death, is all I have to say.

[killerweasel.livejournal.com]

A LOT of people feel the way you do.

I'm not usually an emotional person, but I ended up crying for Wes. Mainly because he was finally going to be happy for the first time in a long time.

And that WB thing at the end pissed me off. I hit the tv with my shoe.

[gwyn-r.livejournal.com]

At least you hit an inanimate object! I scared the crap out of my cat. Poor long suffering Emma -- the squealing, the shouting, the jumping up and down, the throwing things... she endures a lot for my TV obsessions.

[butterfly.livejournal.com]

I mostly feel numb with this need to figure everything out. The massive crying will come later, when it sinks in. But yeah, I hated that WB 'thank you'. I mean, what gives them the fucking right? They're the ones who cancelled the show.

But it's said in the show -- "People who don't care about anything will never understand the people who do." They probably don't even understand that that 'thank you' is the insult after the injury.

And if they do, they don't care.

[gwyn-r.livejournal.com]

But it's said in the show -- "People who don't care about anything will never understand the people who do."

God, you're so right. I think Hamilton works for the WB.

[butterfly.livejournal.com]

Or was channelling them. I hope that Joss does great, wonderful things and the WB begs him back and he spits on them.

Well, maybe not literally, though, because... ew.

[kassrachel.livejournal.com]

I'm not part of this fandom, but I empathize, and I'm sorry for your loss.

[gwyn-r.livejournal.com]

::thanks you with puppy eyes:: I'm going to be a mess for a while, I think. After Buffy, I at least had Angel to cope with the loss. Now, nothing. So this one's harder.

[jidabug.livejournal.com]

The WB's "thank you" was just more salt in the wounds, as was their "series finale" tag on the logo when they returned from commercial. I was all "AS IF WE DIDN'T KNOW, YOU BASTARDS!" every time it appeared.

So, yeah, sharing your hurt over here.

[gwyn-r.livejournal.com]

I know! It wasn't bad enough that they finally ran a full-page ad in EW of that gorgeous leather pants shot, then they had to do that. "Oh, yeah, now we'll spend some money and time on it, and remind everyone how great we are for having put up with it for five years. We rock."

Feelthy people!

[umbo.livejournal.com]

In some ways I feel like I haven't earned the right to say that it really hurts, because I've only been a fan for a relatively short amount of time. I was and am upset and sad and hurt, and I don't know anyone who wasn't pissed off about what the WB did at the end of the episode.

[gwyn-r.livejournal.com]

If you're a fan, you're a fan! Don't matter for how long. I still haven't watched Shield, btw -- too chicken, considering how I'm feeling.

Well yes, and then again, no...

[emmarytz.livejournal.com]

I admit that I don't have the horrible gut-punched agony and sadness that many people do over the show ending, but I more than share your outrage and revulsion at the WB "thank you" which was just so fucking hypocritical and insulting. One can only hope that they, like the Wolfram & Hart headquarters, will be shredded as a result of their hubris. But isn't that the point? Sadly, vampires and demons *do* walk the earth; they just don't have such bumpy faces as in the Jossverse. And the good fight is there to be fought, even though you don't have a chance in hell of succeeding. That combination of idealism and realism is what I'm going to miss, along with the damned snappy dialog, far more than I'm going to miss the individual characters, storylines and settings. -em

Re: Well yes, and then again, no...

[gwyn-r.livejournal.com]

Idealism and realism, yeah. And I guess that's really true -- the demons are at WB and other networks. I was going to talk about how I think Hamilton works for the WB and the SP are really WB execs, and that the Black Thorn is in fact a cabal of network people from all over...

[sdwolfpup.livejournal.com]

I'm so full up on emotion I don't even know what to say. My ep thoughts post is mostly incoherent babbling. So, yeah, I get the grief and the pissed offedness. I cannot believe the WB would *do* that. "Your friends"? YOUR FRIENDS? I can't even think about it without being infuriated.

[gwyn-r.livejournal.com]

Yes, in Bizarro World, I consider people who have no respect for the folks who make their shows successful and then cancel them my friends. And in BW, we believe that cancelling shows we love is a sign of benficence and friendship. In fact, in BW, we celebrate the demise of the last bastion of intelligence and creativity on TV! We think it's great!

[avrelia.livejournal.com]

I haven't yet figured out what I feel now – loss, yes, sadness, yes, but also an overwhelming desire not to let go. I came so late to fandom, I don't want to stop now. But even if I don't see Jossverse on screen anymore, seven+five+one seasons had such a profound influence on me that I cannot ever consider that Universe dead.

[gwyn-r.livejournal.com]

I hope that more people share your view than not -- I just am not able to let go. I have to of getting new eps, but... I don't want the joy to be gone about the fandom.

[superplin.livejournal.com]

Yes.
They will have to pry me away from these shows with a nuclear crowbar. No graceful fading for me. Not my style at all.

And the download thankfully did not have that horrific message from the WB, or I would've been incited to join you in a frothing search of terrorist tactics. That's just wrong on every level. How can they possibly be so clueless as to think that was a good idea?
Oh. Wait. Never mind. (/Roseanne Rosannadanna voice)

[soundingsea.livejournal.com]

I forgive everything I never liked, or characters I never could stand. I don't care -- I just want it back. All of it.

As do I.

Much as I loved the finale, I am definitely in mourning. :|