Alternate realities still suck for women

[gwyn]

This is a weekend full of auspiciousness! Tonight is the book signing for alexfandra's Immortal Quest novel, which is very exciting and one of those "never give up" stories about trying to sell your book. (Support your local bookseller if you can, and buy it there!) I've read this in the past and am really looking forward to seeing the revised version all officially published and stuff. It has very deep roots in fandom, especially The Professionals, and it's a nicely slashy story, so go read it!

Then later this weekend is some nuptial celebration related to Ms. kormantic and her beau, and on the same day, I might get to meet my potential new best friend: a little corgi/chihuahua mix named Haylee. They don't know how she will do with cats, so they are going to bring her by to meet me and the terrible felines and see if she won't try to eat them or something. I'm... very nervous about this. The cats are going to freak the fuck out -- they get freaked out when anyone human comes by, I can't imagine what it will be like with a dog in the mix. And if Haylee (name will totally be changed) barks at them or charges them, it will get ugly.

Olive has never learned to like Blues, and in fact, things have gotten much worse lately. She won't even eat at the same time as him, anywhere near him. I have to give her her food far away from him because he bullies her away from it -- and he still has food in his dish, it's just more important for him to take it from her. If she's on the perch, he chases her away from it, even though I have a perfectly fine second one I paid a lot of money for, in front of a perfectly fine window. No, it has to be the old perch, and he has to have it, unless she's sitting in the second one, unhappily, because I put her there, and then he'll get up and go over there and chase her out of that one. He's wretched. I've lost my temper with him so many times lately and I hate it, I know it doesn't do any good, but he's become utterly horrible.

I don't know, maybe a puppersons will make him behave. Maybe he'll be afraid of it enough that he will leave Olive alone. I can hope. I have never met a cat like him -- most cats, you can teach them right from wrong, even if they don't want to care. But he refuses to learn anything. I know he knows it. He just prefers to be bad. And then if I give him commands to move away from her, he'll inch away and flop over on his side and try to convince me he's cute, and the instant I turn my back, he's attacking her again. If I pick him up and take him away, he attacks my head and face. When he gets praise and pets and treats for being good, it means nothing. Arg. Why is there no cat whisperer?

Anyway. So, there was new Fringe last night... So, I've been kind of dreading Fringe returning in some ways. I thought the last few episodes of second season were so bang-on amazing that I've been tense about how they could follow up, especially knowing JJ and team's predilections for turning their shows into crap. For the most part, I think they did a pretty good job of the followup, but as a season premiere, I'm not sure how strong it really was, since so much of the story takes place away from the other main characters. I think that for people who really know the show, it was fine, but for someone just coming into it, this would make it hard to want to stick with it.

And I have a really huge issue with memory stuff, or brainwashing of any kind, especially when it happens to a woman. I've seen this basic premise happen a lot in my shows, and I find it kind of disturbingly patriarchal and hostile in a not related to the plot way, that this is a type of mental rape that you don't see perpetrated on male characters anymore. Yes, men on TV shows have amnesia or their memories wiped or something, but it's consistently been female characters who have someone else's memories implanted (I mean, I ask you), or their memories or feelings manipulated by outsiders to achieve some kind of nefarious ends, or they are made to think they are/driven mad and told their memories aren't real.

I never felt a specific antipathy toward it before -- it's been used to effect in movies and TV for years -- but a long time ago, you saw it on male and female characters alike. In recent years, it seems to be perpetrated largely on women characters, especially strong female leads, as a means to control and manipulate them. And men doing the implanting of fasle memories, almost always by force.

It makes what's happening to Olivia physically difficult for me to watch -- there's a line between the tension of watching a suspense show and enjoying that nervousness, and being tense because the storyline is making you queasy. Of course, I'm sure our Olivia will resurface at some point, but it's clear they're going to keep her in the alternate world for a while. I'm not sure how I feel about that -- I don't know that I like Fauxlivia enough to watch her with the team (and macking with Peter) in a regular fringe of the week episode, but I'm also not entirely sure I wanted the series to be about us at war with the alternate world and that's what the series is about.

I think I've just hit a wall about watching shows where either humans or the world I live in people are getting their asses kicked and we're all gonna die. I gave at the BSG office, so, thanks but no thanks V, FastForward, Caprica, and whoever else. I'm just not there anymore. I don't have enough faith in JJ and team that that isn't what the show is going to become.

The flip side of that, of course, is that I am so happy to see Charlie again, because I miss him so much, and I love seeing Astrid as a Mentat, Broyles as a hot commando tough guy, and I like the other guy on the Fringe team a lot. And worlds with dirigibles are always cooler, of course. And it was nice to see Andre Royo, and I get the feeling we'll see more of him in the future, which would be nice. But Walternate disturbs me deeply -- yes, I know he's supposed to, but the way he disturbs me isn't what I think they intend -- and this plot of implanted memories squicks me. I guess I have to wait and see.

Comments

[giandujakiss]

I think I'm with you on the Olivia brainwashing story - I said in my review that I didn't know if I could stand the tension, and I meant that - and I think you put your finger on why. Watching that kind of mental rape of a strong female character, watching her lose herself is just ... too much ugly reality and not enough fantasy.

[gwyn]

Yeah, it really bothers me, especially in someone as strong as Olivia. This has happened consistently on shows I watch with a fantasy bent to them, and while it certainly can make for good drama, I really question the motives of the showrunners for choosing it. You could make a case for Dollhouse doing it to both men and women, but it seemed like the female dolls had it considerably worse over and over than any of the male characters, especially when they were being raped and set up to be murdered. I'm just really disturbed by all of this.

dunno if this helps?

[nagasvoice]

RE: cats, it's possible that Blues is angling for more attention and games and play from you. He's certainly acting as if he's dominant. I use scruffing and a water spray bottle to enforce some manners when our boss bruiser is getting out of hand, but that doesn't help rescue our shy ones when nobody is around. (It also doesn't help with a cat who doesn't mind getting zapped with the water bottle, of course!) When it gets extreme, we will lock him up in the bathroom for about half an hour with some water and a catbox, and let him sit in there and get really bored. (Cat-proofing a bathroom is really problematic when the cat is 25 pounds and can push open unlocked doors.) I try to associate this with certain words, so later if I make the same sounds, it might remind him of that. Sometimes you need to confine the cat safely for some other reason (repairs, alarums, whatever) nothing to do with punishment, so I don't want to use that method very often.
I also try to give him rewards and attention when he does what I want, such as jumping down on command. I try to give him some activity every day (don't always manage) such as chasing a laser pointer or a knot of shoestrings or whatever. He really needs the exercise to calm him down, and some of his chasing the other cats is just wanting to stretch his muscles, and boredom. I also make it clear to him that I notice and value the other cats, too, that they have status in the group also.
Blues might have a problem with a dog simply from the division of your attention, but it may also involve the dog establishing dominance over him, which will make him very unhappy, and he'll pass it along.

[viverra-libro.livejournal.com]

Oh, sweetie, I am so sorry the kitties are wretched. I think you're right to try the dog. If that doesn't work, maybe someone could "lend" you a cat or two, temporarily? I had this happen lots with ferrets, and every time there was a new one, the other two that hated eachother would become much better friends. Now if I could just have returned the newcomer! Don't give up on your cats. You might just have to keep them in separate rooms.

Have you tried a remote control vibration collar on Blues? (Not a shock collar, just vibrates like a pager) It worked well on my dog - certainly startles him out of working up into a frenzy to chase off gigantic dogs at the dog park.

*HUGS*

[gwyn-r.livejournal.com]

Aw, thank you for the sympathy. You know, when they're good, they're really sweet and wonderful kitties. And Blues can just be so good and cuddly and tender, but lately, he's doing that less and less than he used to, and when he's bad he's HORRID. But I don't know, maybe a dog will drive them away from home, or bring them together... it's impossible to tell yet.

I have thought about some kind of collar for him. I keep hoping it's a phase, but if I can find one small enough, it might be worth a thought just to let poor Olive enjoy some space once in a while without him terrorizing her. Right after I wrote this, he went after her in the back yard and chased her all over the lot, and almost drove her into the street. It scares the crap out of me.

[viverra-libro.livejournal.com]

Why don't you check Amazon? The prices seem to have come down over the last couple of months. This one looks good: http://www.amazon.com/Original-Petzip-Controlled-Vibrating-Training/dp/B003GD8WMG/ref=sr_1_4?s=home-garden&ie=UTF8&qid=1285455940&sr=1-4

It'll take some jiggering to get the collar small enough to fit Blues's neck, but I really think it's worth a shot. I was SO surprised at how well it worked to distract Dante from bad behavior! In the meantime, maybe try not to stress? *hugshugs*