Passive aggression
Jul. 16th, 2004 08:53 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
gwyn(Ob. mood warning: Sorry in advance if this is lackluster; I'm in peculiarly depressed and gloomy mood today and my brain keeps wandering into dark corners.)
Much has been written and discussed about passive voice, and often, that writing is pretty aggressive and angry. There's a general sense that passive voice is always bad and must be avoided at all costs, and that people who use it are either a) academics, who just usually write badly, period, and so are open for mockery; or b) bad amateur writers who wouldn't know grammar if it came up and bit them in the ass. Either or both of these might be true, but the passive voice issue isn't even really one of grammar, but of style; this is why it's always employed in academic writing -- the style was set somewhere along the line (by pompous idiots, if you ask me), and now the style is required if you're creating something in that arena.
Fanfic and amateur writing, however, don't have to follow those restrictions, but most people use passive voice without even understanding they're doing it (because most of us never paid attention in English class, since most of that stuff is so heinously boring and confusing anyway). But it's important to understand, when someone criticizes you for using it, or you decide to open up a can of whup-ass on a writer for her use of passive voice, that there's no correct or incorrect law about this. Passive voice makes for often redundant, overly wordy, tangled and confusing prose that doesn't have to be so, but it is by no means "wrong." It's a peeve, a very good peeve based on a solid understanding of what makes writing successful, but it's still a peeve.
So what is passive voice? This is what it says in the American Heritage usage book: the passive voice refers to verb forms that allow the subject to be the receiver (rather than the performer) of the verb’s action. Passive verbs consist of a form of the verb be and a past participle: is needed, was bought, has been delivered. You can recognize passive constructions by looking for sentences like this:
There's nothing inherently wrong with those passive sentences (except the last one!) other than that they are wordier than they need to be, and less engaging than they should be.
In fact, passive voice can actually be useful, especially if you're trying to either conceal something particular, or tone down something that could be accusatory: Consider the difference between "Someone gave Serenity's location up to the Alliance" and "Serenity's location was given to the Alliance." That's the reason police reports and office memos and such often use passive construction -- if you don't know the identity of the person doing the act, you can still talk about the action. "The sick bay was broken into last night," when you don't know who did it; "A package will be delivered at the docking station tomorrow" when you don't have specific info about who and how it will be delivered. It's also useful when you want the emphasis to be on the performer of the action, rather than the action itself: "The case was solved by Vecchio and Fraser, two law enforcement officers from different countries." The reason scientists use passive voice is that it serves a purpose in describing processes rather than the people involved in working the processes. Instead of Dr. McCoy writing, "I put the alien cultures under the microscope to study their activity," he might write "The alien cultures were put under the microscope for study."
The problem with passive voice is that it's abused, unfortunately. In academic writing, it's often used for everything, rather than as above, and for amateur or newbie writers, it's often the signature style that identifies someone who doesn't know how to write. I remember having a conversation once with someone who said that you can always tell you'll get a passive-voice-laden fanfic when you see a warning saying, "This is my first fic! Be nice to me!" or some such. And sadly, I think that person was right -- it's almost as if passive voice is a graduation ritual where you have to write a bunch of stories bogged down in passivity and redundancy before you can move on to better things.
What happens is that using passive voice requires extra words, so sentences become longer, sleepier, more complex than necessary. In dialog, it can turn natural speaking into a weird, phony intoning quality, and rarely ever sounds like anyone except maybe your oceanography professor from that class you hated. And after a while, sometimes people can't even follow your train of thought, because they don't know who's doing what. Think of all the times you've read godawful memos that you could barely understand because they were so convoluted -- I guarantee they will be in passive voice. "Performance reviews of the employees of Wolfram & Hart will be initiated next week so that new training programs for Satanic contracts, ritual sacrifice, and underworld employment law can be developed, and raises and/or executions can be given." I often make cracks, when people give me stuff to edit, that I can cut their 100-word paragraph down to 15.
If you want to avoid passive voice when it's not necessary and make your writing come alive, keep your eyes peeled for to be words (is, was, are, were, etc.) and other weak, qualifying verbs like seem, appear, can, and so on. Myself, I keep a sharp lookout for woulds and coulds as they often signal to me that I'm weakening the action, and words like going, doing, etc. I have a tendency to overwrite, and often say things like "I'm going to go to the bar," rather than a simple "I'm going to the bar." And head on over to the American Heritage usage guide at www.bartleby.com if you want to know more detail. There are quite a few samples of passive and active voice there.
Much has been written and discussed about passive voice, and often, that writing is pretty aggressive and angry. There's a general sense that passive voice is always bad and must be avoided at all costs, and that people who use it are either a) academics, who just usually write badly, period, and so are open for mockery; or b) bad amateur writers who wouldn't know grammar if it came up and bit them in the ass. Either or both of these might be true, but the passive voice issue isn't even really one of grammar, but of style; this is why it's always employed in academic writing -- the style was set somewhere along the line (by pompous idiots, if you ask me), and now the style is required if you're creating something in that arena.
Fanfic and amateur writing, however, don't have to follow those restrictions, but most people use passive voice without even understanding they're doing it (because most of us never paid attention in English class, since most of that stuff is so heinously boring and confusing anyway). But it's important to understand, when someone criticizes you for using it, or you decide to open up a can of whup-ass on a writer for her use of passive voice, that there's no correct or incorrect law about this. Passive voice makes for often redundant, overly wordy, tangled and confusing prose that doesn't have to be so, but it is by no means "wrong." It's a peeve, a very good peeve based on a solid understanding of what makes writing successful, but it's still a peeve.
So what is passive voice? This is what it says in the American Heritage usage book: the passive voice refers to verb forms that allow the subject to be the receiver (rather than the performer) of the verb’s action. Passive verbs consist of a form of the verb be and a past participle: is needed, was bought, has been delivered. You can recognize passive constructions by looking for sentences like this:
The Viper is driven by Angel. (Active voice: Angel drives the Viper)
That new broom model we all wanted was flown by Hermione. (Active: Hermione flew on that new broom model we all wanted)
A tell-all book is being written by Blair about Jim and his senses. (Active: Blair is writing a tell-all book about Jim and his senses)
That stake might have been last used by Buffy. (Active: Buffy might have used that stake last)
The outpost has been defended by Lancelot and Arthur for many years. (Lancelot and Arthur have defended the outpost for many years)
His father's Dodge Charger was being rebuilt by Dominic. (Dominic was rebuilding his father's Dodge Charger)
A report on the consortium had been being written by Mulder. (Mulder had been writing a report on the consortium) Ack! Ick! Ptui! Never use this first construction. Just don't.
There's nothing inherently wrong with those passive sentences (except the last one!) other than that they are wordier than they need to be, and less engaging than they should be.
In fact, passive voice can actually be useful, especially if you're trying to either conceal something particular, or tone down something that could be accusatory: Consider the difference between "Someone gave Serenity's location up to the Alliance" and "Serenity's location was given to the Alliance." That's the reason police reports and office memos and such often use passive construction -- if you don't know the identity of the person doing the act, you can still talk about the action. "The sick bay was broken into last night," when you don't know who did it; "A package will be delivered at the docking station tomorrow" when you don't have specific info about who and how it will be delivered. It's also useful when you want the emphasis to be on the performer of the action, rather than the action itself: "The case was solved by Vecchio and Fraser, two law enforcement officers from different countries." The reason scientists use passive voice is that it serves a purpose in describing processes rather than the people involved in working the processes. Instead of Dr. McCoy writing, "I put the alien cultures under the microscope to study their activity," he might write "The alien cultures were put under the microscope for study."
The problem with passive voice is that it's abused, unfortunately. In academic writing, it's often used for everything, rather than as above, and for amateur or newbie writers, it's often the signature style that identifies someone who doesn't know how to write. I remember having a conversation once with someone who said that you can always tell you'll get a passive-voice-laden fanfic when you see a warning saying, "This is my first fic! Be nice to me!" or some such. And sadly, I think that person was right -- it's almost as if passive voice is a graduation ritual where you have to write a bunch of stories bogged down in passivity and redundancy before you can move on to better things.
What happens is that using passive voice requires extra words, so sentences become longer, sleepier, more complex than necessary. In dialog, it can turn natural speaking into a weird, phony intoning quality, and rarely ever sounds like anyone except maybe your oceanography professor from that class you hated. And after a while, sometimes people can't even follow your train of thought, because they don't know who's doing what. Think of all the times you've read godawful memos that you could barely understand because they were so convoluted -- I guarantee they will be in passive voice. "Performance reviews of the employees of Wolfram & Hart will be initiated next week so that new training programs for Satanic contracts, ritual sacrifice, and underworld employment law can be developed, and raises and/or executions can be given." I often make cracks, when people give me stuff to edit, that I can cut their 100-word paragraph down to 15.
If you want to avoid passive voice when it's not necessary and make your writing come alive, keep your eyes peeled for to be words (is, was, are, were, etc.) and other weak, qualifying verbs like seem, appear, can, and so on. Myself, I keep a sharp lookout for woulds and coulds as they often signal to me that I'm weakening the action, and words like going, doing, etc. I have a tendency to overwrite, and often say things like "I'm going to go to the bar," rather than a simple "I'm going to the bar." And head on over to the American Heritage usage guide at www.bartleby.com if you want to know more detail. There are quite a few samples of passive and active voice there.
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no subject
Date: 2004-07-16 10:41 am (UTC)Thank you!
no subject
Date: 2004-07-16 11:08 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-07-16 11:51 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-07-16 02:53 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-07-16 03:33 pm (UTC)And, *facepalm*, I think it was noted on
Thanks again!
no subject
Date: 2004-07-16 03:41 pm (UTC)And, DS generally focuses more on essays, discussions, and news; QQ on art and fic. Both are strictly Harry Potter fandom, but link to things which aren't specifically HP if they are of interest to HP fen.
And let me second the suggestion about
no subject
Date: 2004-07-16 03:43 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-07-16 12:08 pm (UTC)I love your Wolfram & Hart memo. Although that actually would be a *good* use of passive voice in fanfic because it mimics a real-life, albeit badly written, HR memo. I'm tempted to quote the memo I just received on the very same subject...well, same subject minus the satanic contracts.
no subject
Date: 2004-07-16 02:29 pm (UTC)It's not that passive voice should be avoided at all costs. It should be used well to create mood or to seemingly acquiesce until you snare your reader into an argument with they might not completely agree until presented with all the facts. Don't drive them off by going "this is that," lure them in and finish with "this is that."
Or so says little academic me.
no subject
Date: 2004-07-16 09:03 pm (UTC)Wasn't it a Charger?
-- M'lyn, having read the fic at the site you recced until she was foaming at the mouth for more slash
no subject
Date: 2004-07-16 10:59 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-07-16 11:08 pm (UTC)a) it is "Charger" in two of the fics by Khaleesian (twice in the second fic, at that). It seems like she knows her car stuff, too.
b) in terms of classic muscle car names, "Charger" strikes more of a memory chord than "Challenger." My dad's a car geek.
*Shrug* I'll drop it until I happen to watch the movie again and get my hands on my Dad and/or his car identification book.
The obsession continues
Date: 2004-07-16 11:16 pm (UTC)I then tried Googling "The Fast & the Furious dodge (charger/challenger)" and got results for BOTH. Apparently there are more people confused than me alone.
This site was interesting. The title of the page says "Challenger," but a sampling of the page text (and the URL) read "Charger." I thought that this would be the ultimate example, where they'd mixed up the models on the same freaking page.
http://products.compare-online.co.uk/pst-Dodge_Charger__The_Fast_and_the_Furious.htm
But then I clicked on it, and found models for both cars. Apparently there was one of each car for the film and its sequel.
Therein lies our answer...maybe? I'm still going with a Charger for the first film, since the models being sold on the Internet look most accurate.
Re: The obsession continues
Date: 2004-07-18 06:00 pm (UTC)I can't help wondering if, since they are almost indistinguishable, they used the Challenger in the other movie since they bashed up the Charger so bad in the first! God, I hate watching that. HATE it. It's painful, almost as bad as watching an animal get hurt. That car has a life, you know? ;-)
Now I have to go edit... grrrr.
Re: The obsession continues
Date: 2004-07-18 06:28 pm (UTC)Absolutely. I go from glee to horror in the seconds it takes for them to run the race, from the cars jumping off the line to Dom hitting that semi. (Whatever happened to the semi, anyway? He hit the hell out of it and it just disappeared.)
I watched it a couple of times when I first rented the flick, then dragged my dad to watch it too. He was semi-bored for the whole thing until that one race...when he exploded into howls and laughs. I think we rewatched that part about four times.
And damn you, I think I have a new fandom. *Shakes fist* This has certainly been a kick in the butt for me to follow up on my desire to learn more about cars. I got an email back from Khaleesian in response to my feedback, and she gave me some good ideas to further my education. I think I'm also going to rent tF&tF and the sequel tonight.