I am curious (purple)

[gwyn]

One of the things that the past couple weeks or so brought home to me is that I'm completely bewildered by why anyone reads this LJ. I know most of my flist comes from the Jossverse -- especially Buffy fans. Judging by the response to last week's new chapter of my F&F WIP, it's not for the F&F fic updates. Many of you are folks I know through fandom, especially vidding. And then there's the inevitable confusion over why I get both massively defriended after a usage post, but also friended by a lot of new people, and many of them haven't been shy about telling me it's boring if I don't do more usage posts. At this point I almost have no idea what to use it for anymore. I would actually be grateful if you'd do the ticky box thing, and let me know, so I can figure out what to focus on. As it is, with fic, I'm trying to put the focus back in the Buffy since I think there's clearly more interest there, but is there something else I should be wasting words on?

[Poll #372466]

Comments

[batdina.livejournal.com]

How about I know you personally and I like keeping up with whatever you're doing because you're doing it?

[gwyn-r.livejournal.com]

Well, you guys I already know about. ;-) You're above the polls.

Your kitty picture reminds me of my brat, even though she looks a lot different than your b&w. She's been such a good sport this weekend -- I'm changing her food and her litter, and she's still being a good kid.

[umbo.livejournal.com]

Basically I have you friended because I find you a cool and interesting person with cool and interesting things to say. Even though I'm not as interested in vidding as your Buffy fic, I still usually read your vidding posts and find something to enjoy about them, so it's not like I'd want you to stop posting about *any* of these things. I want you to post what *you* want to post, basically. I just plain like you!

[gwyn-r.livejournal.com]

I like reading about my friends' lives a lot, but sometimes, especially with how things have gone lately, I realize that the same might not be true here, especially for the peeps who came in because of the essays or the usage stuff. It's hard to get a handle on. Originally I never even talked about personal stuff, but boy, you sure do slide once you get used to this place, don't you?

[klia.livejournal.com]

You forgot the ticky box saying, "You're my friend, and I'm interested in what's happening with you."

[gwyn-r.livejournal.com]

Well, that's different. You're special! ;-)

Also with the interesting.

[maygra.livejournal.com]

I find *you* interesting; your opinions, your commentaries, your approach to fanish things -- I don't always agree with your conclusions, but I agree that they are valid and you present them interestingly and they make me think -- maybe even more importantly, I trust your opinion. I think if we didn't live on opposite coasts we might actually spend time together (or not..I know I enjoy the face to face time we do get.)

Granted, I'm also here for the TFaTF fic announcements or Mag7 since I'm not interested in the Jossverse at all (but understand why so many people are). I know that's where your heart is at the moment..but I'm pretty patient. I'm going to wait you out on Ciudad::grin::

I love your vids, I love your fic...I think that makes me a Gwyneht Fan more than anything.

Re: Also with the interesting.

[gwyn-r.livejournal.com]

Not that, of course, I've been even remotely good about Mag 7 stuff of late, either. I'm still desperately hunting for story ideas. If I can just get a good kernel of an idea, I could come up with a story... but otherwise I think I blew the brain pan on that one. My little fandom that could. ;-)

[stateless82.livejournal.com]

I like how you write about the things you write about.

And obviously, I'm in desperate need of the usage posts.

[gwyn-r.livejournal.com]

Heee! No, you're not!

[thefourthvine.livejournal.com]

This is a massive cop-out, especially as I am going to be doing a more in-depth version of this same poll later in the week (the discovery that a few people who read my LJ don't like slash at all has me sort of stunned), but I honestly think you should write what you want to write here. We're your audience, yes, but this is your journal.

Personal narrative, though, in case it is of interest to you. Someone linked to a usage post of yours in the comments section of a rant of my own. I liked the essay, so I friended you and browsed through your memories. (Ew. That sounds bad. I trust you know I'm not, like, trawling your brain or anything.) Then, some time later, I wandered through your website and found your vids, and that was another thing I liked. Later I read your fic and liked that. And now I consider you to be in the general category of "likely to come up with something interesting." In other words, I don't read your journal for any one particular thing, more just for you in general.

[gwyn-r.livejournal.com]

Isn't that weird when you realize that one or more of your interests is so not a part of your flist's interests? I am always wondering why...

But that's actually helpful about how you arrived here -- in a way it says that my thinly disguised ADD poster child behavior might not actually be a bad thing, which I was starting to wonder if it was. I know it's a bummer when you want one thing from someone and they go haring off on another (the Spuffy fans probably wanting more Spuffy and grinding their teeth if I'm off writing F&F slash), but it sounds like a lot of people are more like you, where there are different interests to follow, so a wider variety of people you read. Which is a good bit of food for thought.

[gem225.livejournal.com]

You're a cool person, I care about you, and I enjoy reading your posts, whatever the topic.

[gwyn-r.livejournal.com]

I will try to remind myself of that next time I get hammered on -- Gem *said* I was cool. So there.

BTW, I adore your icon. Just adore. It reminds me so much of my beloved black cat from so long ago.

[gwyn-r.livejournal.com]

I think one of the cool things about having something like the usage posts or reviews linked to is that you bring new people to the party, but the bad part is that they often expect that this is your journal in its entirety. So that's been difficult because anyone who's read more than a few entries knows I'm like a five year old and bounce from thing to thing, with no tie in. I do sometimes wonder if I must seem like I have multiple personality disorder! While I don't like them telling me to only do X and such, I do kind of get it sometimes. They thought it was this, only it's that. Probably no way to make them happy, though.

echoing thefourthvine

[emmarytz.livejournal.com]

(Even while wondering about my spelling of "echoing.") Maybe I'm more generally voyeuristic than most, but what I like about LJ is the opportunity it gives to peek into the lives of those who are, some of the time, complete strangers. I read some of your posts more closely than others but, in general, I just like seeing what you've got to say about whatever. Sometimes I pick up grammar hints; sometimes I find out about some show on television; sometimes I learn that people can give their frequent flier miles away. When I post to my own LJ, it's for my own amusement, as a rule. I don't see that you should feel obligated to write usage posts when you don't feel like it, or that you should stop posting about Fast & Furious vids if the poll numbers indicate those posts are less popular. So what? -em ps. Have you heard that Fox (or was it WB?) is begging Joss to come back and do something for them? It seems their various replacement shows don't hold the viewers the way Angel did. -em

Re: echoing thefourthvine

[gwyn-r.livejournal.com]

sometimes I learn that people can give their frequent flier miles away.

LOL! See, that is a good thing -- I have imparted important information to someone! That's kind of what I like about LJ too -- the details, a sense of community. A place to whine... I don't know if you know about ginmar and her LJ, where she writes about being in Iraq (she's stationed there as a reservist). I've seen something happen with her, too, where people want to read about one aspect, and forget that the other things -- her Buffy fandom, etc. -- are a huge part of her life. It never occurred to me that people would have issues with what they think they "signed up for" by friending, but the last few weeks have opened my eyes.

[thisisbone.livejournal.com]

I didn't know any of those things about you -- the usage posts, the Jossverse. I knew your vids from old MC tapes, and it just seemed like we should be friends, since we have a lot of overlap among our friends.

And then the Fast & Furious thing... and the "Stripped" vid...

And now I stay. I like your diverse interests.

(And I'm going to read the latest part of Ciudad as soon as I can be sure it's not going to permeate my brain while I'm still working on my own WIP!)

[gwyn-r.livejournal.com]

Even though sometimes I do feel like a kid who should be on Ritalin, I do like my diverse interests, too... but I also get why some people get cranky when they think they've friended you to read and then you start yammering about something they don't like. Yeah, they can leave, but I also get being frustrated (though not taking it out on people).

I also normally can't read fic when I'm writing... but for some reason I've been able to read F&F while I've been writing. Must be the high desperation factor -- burn fast, burn bright.

[leela-cat.livejournal.com]

I like you. You're my friend. I have you on my friends list because I want to keep up with your life. I'm interested in many things, including your usage posts and your fiction.

I haven't read your F&F fiction only because I haven't seen F&F. Once I've figured out who the characters are, I'll drop back by and read.

[gwyn-r.livejournal.com]

Yeah -- there's LJ friends, to me, and then there's real friends, of which category you are in. (See, I can be grammatically incorrect too!) The people I never feel like I have to apologize to, and believe me, I value that more and more every day.

[killabeez.livejournal.com]

I said 'none of the above,' because... to some degree, all of those, but mostly because I want to know what's going on with you and because I always enjoy reading your thoughts about your fandoms, even those we don't share. I value true fandom love, and you are a person who really has that for all her fandoms, and it shows. I like your insights about vidding and writing, both the critical and the more off the cuff process-oriented stuff. I like your writing a lot, and even if I don't always read everything you write, I like to know what you're working on. But mostly, because I'm never bored by what you write about. It's all of interest to me to one degree or another. You're one of the few people I never skip past, honestly.

[kassrachel.livejournal.com]

Yes! That's it exactly. Allow me to echo everything Killa just said. *g*

[cathexys.livejournal.com]

as many said before and better: i like *you*, like hearing about whatever *you* feel like writing and talking about. so, i'll read about your sister more closely than about F&F, may respond to your usage post more readily than vidding discussions, but i *like* the variety and diversity lj affords us...

keep on writing for yourself, not us (esp. since you know, the *us* can never be pleased in its entirety :-)

[gwyn-r.livejournal.com]

Well, I definitely get the people who came stumbling in here thinking I wrote about usage in a way that they could understand, and then getting an earful of slashy content or something like that... not that it excuses being rude, but I kind of get it. I'm just feeling more than uncertain lately, based on recent experiences, what I do have to offer besides grammar bitchness, which is not a lot to hang your hat on. Or at least, not what I want to hang it on.

[rainkatt.livejournal.com]

I read most of your posts, but I don't read the F&F fanfic. I stick around, anyway, because I like what you say about just about anything. You're interesting and I learn stuff here I wouldn't find out anywhere else, and I like you.

OK?

[gwyn-r.livejournal.com]

OK!! Yeah, I know that the F&F stuff isn't even on the radar, so I didn't include it, though I suppose I ought to have included something like "cuz I want to!"

[sweet-ali.livejournal.com]

Okay, "obligated" is definitely not the right verb in this sentence. I know you and want to have on my FList, to keep up with your life and all the goings on. So there :P

[gwyn-r.livejournal.com]

There are actually a number of people who have my on their flists, filtered out, because they move in the same circles and we have tons of RL people in common, so I was expecting a lot of them to choose that -- only they haven't answered! ;-)

The niece is so adorable! Contratulations on that. Must be wonderful -- sniffing baby heads is one of the true joys in life. The tops of baby heads are almost as good as puppy smell -- the distinctive scent that puppies have on their muzzles. If they could bottle baby head smell and puppy smell, people would all be a lot happier.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_nepthys_/]

I checked some of the boxes above, but those aren't the only reasons I'm here.... I think you're an interesting person, level-headed and very articulate. I enjoy reading your posts, whether they're about fannish subjects or real life. Write what you feel like writing about, and don't worry about what other people might think. :)

[gwyn-r.livejournal.com]

Oh, thank you -- I wish I was all of those things, but I'll pretend I am and maybe it'll come true! It's been interesting to see the results and the comments. The past couple weeks have been really demoralizing on a number of levels -- family, work, fannish -- and I'm actually kind of jazzed to see the different results. In some ways it confirms that my inability to focus is part and parcel with the rest of my LJ friends!

[hobbituk.livejournal.com]

Honestly? I have no idea why I friended you originally... I suspect I landed on your LJ via a friends flist, or a fic rec, or some such thing. Then, what I usually do is if I like what I read, I friend the LJ so I can read more. You are still friended, so I must like it!! *smiles and waves*

One thing, though. I feel completely ignorant and out of the loop and it is driving me mad. Just what is a usage post??? Should I be doing them? *has a thought* DO I do them already???

[gwyn-r.livejournal.com]

The usage posts are what most people call the grammar posts, even though they're rarely about grammar, per se, or even syntax. I used to do them about once a week or so, but now I do them sporadically because sometimes they're just hard work, sometimes they're frustrating, and sometimes I just don't want to! You can find them in my memories section, or if you access my main LJ page, they're listed in the links box under Usage and Writing Posts.

Basically, they came out of my talking sometimes about my job and from people I'd beta edited, and they wanted to know about some of the things I commented on such as serial commas or why till is totally correct (instead of 'til) and so on. I try to use fannish things as examples for how to do things, and blow up myths about what's correct and not. Fannish stuff seems to help get the points across, I think.

[avrelia.livejournal.com]

I checked the BtVS and usage points, because I am more likely to comment on them, but I am reading most of your posts - because I like you and I like the way you are writing, so even when I have nothing to add, I love reading it.

[gwyn-r.livejournal.com]

That's actually really good to know -- that there is room for expansion even if it's not what brought someone here. That's been a lot of what I've been struggling with -- I started out with one goal in mind, veered way off course, and then started to really wonder if I wasn't letting people down like some folks were making me think. So that's helpful.

[dine.livejournal.com]

I think I initially friended you because of F&tF, although I'd skimmed before; because of Mag7 and vidding (I love your vids) - mostly I read because I like to know the whole person, and appreciate a chance to get a glimpse at a more-rounded individual than just fannish babble provides.

[mlyn.livejournal.com]

I agree with at least one of the other 42 comments I unfortunately don't have time to read: "obligated" is not the way I would put it. More like: "I know you personally and LOVE to have you friended because I think you're awesome."

I almost checked "schadenfreude" just because it's on my interests list. Then I realized what you were getting at. Bad Gwyn. *Smacks your arm* If we shared schadenfreude together at other people's fannishness, then that would be accurate.

[gwyn-r.livejournal.com]

But a lot of people checked schadenfreude! Let's face it, someone else's dumb life is always better than your own.

[justacat.livejournal.com]

I have you friended because I met you and liked you and am interested to know what's going on with you. I'm not really interested in your current fandoms, and I don't really expect you ever to talk about Pros anymore, so I'm not really here for that - but I admire the things you've done in fandom, particularly in my current favorite fandom.

It's true that I really get a warm fuzzy feeling knowing that whether or not you currently share them or write about them, you "get" my obsessions, and that's part of the appeal, but mostly I'm here because though I don't know you that well I just like you - it's an emotion that doesn't depend on logic or the things you do.

I so understand where you're coming from in wondering why people read your LJ - but I do agree with those who say, use it for whatever you want, whatever works best for you.

[gwyn-r.livejournal.com]

And I definitely never leave a fandom, that's for sure. i may not continue to produce, but I'm not one of those folks who ever looks back and goes, "Why did i ever care about that? It's so five minutes ago." Once I'm hooked, I'm hooked for life. ;-)

[lapillus]

It isn't actually obligation, rather, I like finding out what's up with folks slightly more often than once or twice a year. LJ permits me to find out what's big in folk's lives and allow me to be a bit more responsive when I get to see them in person.

[gwyn-r.livejournal.com]

That's a good point -- with lists, I often felt left out, because I couldn't keep up with a number of people since we didn't share fandom lists. There aren't as many active general lists, so LJ fills a void that way in terms of keeping up with folks we see at cons only sporadically.

[tiashome.livejournal.com]

... 'cause I know you in RL and I like to know how you're doing! Whenever you're up for some more yummy Indian food, let me know ;-)

[gwyn-r.livejournal.com]

Oh, yes, yes, we need to do that. I will definitely ping you. I hope things are going okay at work. I got my contract extended again till near Thanksgiving, so I'll be around for a bit yet.

[monanotlisa.livejournal.com]

Where's the "I like you as you're an awesome woman who also does a great beta even for negligible ficlets like mine"?

& :-)

[gwyn-r.livejournal.com]

Hey! I NEVER waste my time betaing negligible ficlets! I volunteer only for the good stuff. Seriously.

[moonchildetoo.livejournal.com]

We met online and then at last Escapade, sharing an interest in Keen Eddie and the Buffyverse, and a wee bit o' Hornblower thrown in. I like your vids, and I like your posts on general fannish subjects, who's saying what about who and what, etc. It's a window on fandom at large that I don't always get to take a look through as often as others do, since I don't really travel around to lots of cons. And as others have said, you just seem to write interesting stuff ;-)

[gwyn-r.livejournal.com]

That's cool! I kind of like that -- I definitely am not one of those people who always seems to know what's going on, but I do try to tune in to a lot of other folks who do, and so I have at least a small sense of what's going on.