If I were a rich man

[gwyn]

I would buy Apple and crowd all the developers and promo people in a room and beat them soundly with a really large, spiked stick. Because I bought Final Cut Express and then today I went to install it and when I opened it up (with great fear, because reading through the usage booklet scared the shit out of me) and it tells me I don't have enough RAM. Now, I always thought I had plenty of RAM, even though I don't know what RAM is, but it's not good enough for Apple, goddammit. And I have no idea what to buy, because I don't even know if RAM is memory and how you're supposed to know what to get (and this means I have to spend even more money than ever) and most of all how the fuck to install it, because I haven't got a clue about hardware and hardware scares me pissless. And I'm kind of stuck because you can never really return software, and goddammit I spent all this money and just fuck them all for doing this. I'm so frustrated and at this rate there is no possible way I can make a vid in time for Escapade.

Everyone is doing the wishlist thing but I haven't because this is the kind of thing I wish for but cannot have -- that I can be smart enough to solve my computer troubles or rich enough to actually buy the freaking things I need without getting big red error messages telling me my RAM isn't up to snuff and I know I can't afford to fix the problem. Plus my basic belief in life is to always expect the worst, because then anything good is a pleasant surprise, and wishlists sort of set you up for disappointment even if you can find things that are wish-fulfillable and not about being smarter. But then movies_michelle yelled at me the other night (she did! she yelled!) that if I wished for a fic but I never said anything then how would anyone ever be able to fulfill my wish and basically told me I was a stupid git. The thing is, most of the stuff I do wish for is either really expensive (which is why I don't have it already) or something no one could ever or would ever grant. And then I think you put the wish out there that no one would want to grant you because you're not someone worthy of wish-fulfillment, and you're just bound for even more depression and disappointment. Which is what she hollered at me about. So I'm not really doing the wish meme (unless I can find someone's wish that I can actually fulfill, but so far, I haven't found any I have the power -- insert disco song here -- to grant). But if I was doing it, this is what I'd wish for:


- For more paid LJ time, since mine is running out
- To have someone who could help me solve my computer problems right here in River City (because all my Mac vidder user friends are far away and really busy)
- To magically be able to make the kind of vid I envision but never can make because I'm limited in my tools and also too stupid to use complex software (and apparently, under-RAMmed)
- Feedback, especially for vids or my F&F fic, which, aside from a teeny group of people, I never hear anything about and yet see tons of comments elsewhere on other people's sites so I'm constantly wondering what I must be doing wrong, because I never hear anything about it (what *am* I doing wrong?)
- World peace. Seriously.
- For one of my favorite vidders and old vidding friends to actually get into one of my fandoms/pairings and make a vid with my peeps (since the people whose work I love the most never share my fandoms/pairings)
- For someone to write me a really good, meaty, complex story with Brian and Dom that also happens to be sexy and maybe also a bit melancholy or dark (or, barring that, a story where Dom is imprisoned Gladiator-style and forced into cage matches, preferably with chains involved)
- For a really pretty icon with my F&F boys (I have ideas in my head, but I can't make them real)
- To be pain-free for a whole week
- People to actually request my LFN and XF vid disc that I worked so hard on to make and would love to share and make it worth all that incredible time and effort but almost no one wants
- For enough money to buy more space on my vid site hosting, because I'm going to have to take some vids offline as I'm running out of space (not that at this rate I'll ever vid again)
- For enough time to actually read a book again, because all my time is taken up with writing and/or vidding when I'm not working or commuting
- For job security ha ha ha and to not be unemployed again and destitute
- To actually be able to stop talking myself out of not writing my novel because I'm convinced there's no point and I suck
- Something from my Amazon wishlist which is under gwyneth rhys but it's filled with all the expensive stuff like iPods and things I can't afford, so I know other people can't either!
- For my wonderful friends who write so fantastically, yet can't seem to get arrested by publishers who are too cretinous to see their brilliance, to get published and big book contracts and fame and fortune (and yeah, I'm especially looking at you, Kelly)
- Most of all, for my sister to not suffer any more and get better and be healthy forever after and this was just a glitch in the system that will never return; and for me to be able to afford that genetic test so I can find out if I'm doomed or already have cancer and I just don't know about it.

And yeah, world peace. Because seriously...

Comments

[mlyn.livejournal.com]

For someone to write me a really good, meaty, complex story with Brian and Dom that also happens to be sexy and maybe also a bit melancholy or dark

Would you count it a Christmas present to you if I was going to do it anyway, but just dedicated it to you?

I've been wondering that about other things for people as well...

[herself_nyc]

RAM is memory. What kind of Mac do you have and how much memory does it have now? You can tell by checking About This Mac under the blue apple menu on the upper left of your screen (if you're using OS X, which I hope you are).

[slackerace.livejournal.com]

And I have no idea what to buy, because I don't even know if RAM is memory and how you're supposed to know what to get (and this means I have to spend even more money than ever) and most of all how the fuck to install it, because I haven't got a clue about hardware and hardware scares me pissless.

RAM is Random Access Memory. It is read from and written to by the CPU and hardware. Information in RAM can be stored and accessed randomly, and therefore, more rapidly. The more RAM a system contains, the more information it can handle and the more programs it can run at one time.

I know nothing about MACs; however, I assume that purchasing RAM for them is the same/similar as purchasing RAM for IBM compatible computers. If you give me the specs on your computer, I will see if I can shop RAM for you online and give you an estimate of what it will cost you to upgrade. The RAM come with easy install instructions. I am a dolt and I upgraded my RAM. Twice.

[lapillus]

I'd love a dvd of your XF and LFN vids. "Only Happy When It Rains" remains always your Mulder vid for me (quite, happily, I must add). And I'm quite happy to have pretty copies of Michael and Nikta :)

Am currently attempting (if lj will) to give you a couple of extra months and more Userpics for your guys, the better to convert everyone.

[morgandawn.livejournal.com]

For FCE 2 (which is what I think you have), you'll need a min 384MB RAM.

I think you have an early G4 IMac, so it should have come with a basic 256MB RAM.

You can check the RAM by:

1. To check the total physical RAM (memory) and the operating system version for your Macintosh, go to the Apple menu at the top left of the computer screen. The first item under the Apple menu should be About This Mac.

2. The number next to Memory: should be at least 128 MB. In your case the picture should shows that the computer has 256MB RAM.

Good news: there is a second slot underneath your IMAC that is user accessible for you to add more RAM. I'd go with another 256 as min (more if you can afford it).

http://store.apple.com/1-800-MY-APPLE/WebObjects/AppleStore.woa/72603/wo/5h6v76H4Z8Gi3qdEE271V7rPoRF/1.3.0.6.9.0.5.3.1.1.5.0.1.3.1.1.0?71,42

But there are a lot of places that sell Mac RAM cheaper:
http://macramdirect.com/imac.html

Rather than trying to figure out yourself what type of Mac, call the store them and let them help you.

Installing it:

the web site above has a video to DIY. But you can take it to a local mac store (Apple or reseller). It should take them only 20 min to install. When I bought my Mac, I bought the extra RAM and it cost me around $25 for the install.

Better yet, I wish one of your local friends could assist with the install.

[morgandawn.livejournal.com]

Both Gayle F and I each want a copy of your LFN/X-files vids on DVD. I'll send some money this week. I'll be seeing GF on Jan 8 so you can ship it all to me (less postage/mailers).

[(Anonymous)]

Enjoy your 6 months paid time and extra user pics.

regards,
The Bald Elf

[mystic-savage.livejournal.com]

Amazon's people search function isn't working very well the last couple of days. Is there any way you could give us a link to your wishlist? Just for kicks of course, because none of us have any money.

[gwyn-r.livejournal.com]

Hey, I've never had a story dedicated to me, so why not?! ;-)

[gwyn-r.livejournal.com]

It's an iMac G4. I'm up to the lastest update for Panther, but when I got this thing, everyone kept telling me I should get Final Cut, and apparently no one bothered to let me know that I needed more than 256 MB of RAM for that. Nice of them to encourage me to get something I couldn't use for what they thought I needed! It's funny, this is the first tme I've encountered any troubles with what I have. I just figured this was more than adequate, since it had been since last year.

[mlyn.livejournal.com]

I'm talking about part 4, and after all the help you've given me, it's pretty much a given.

BTW, I emailed my Mac-owning friend and asked her what you can do about your RAM issue. Let's hope she checks her email sometime this year. *Rolls eyes*

[gwyn-r.livejournal.com]

I kind of get the basic idea of RAM, but when I went to the macmall page, they only listed "memory" for sale and I didn't know if that was the same thing. I'm utterly terrified of even touching hardware, and I think everything is on the bottom of this Mac and I'm just sure I'm going to break or fry it... especially since I have this weird problem of having too much static electricity in my body -- I get shocks all the time, all year long. And You sure don't sound like a dolt, you sound like someone who totally knows what they're doing!

[gwyn-r.livejournal.com]

I will set a disc aside, then! When I send you that recipe I'll prompt you for your address.

And thank you for playing LJ fairy -- I think I have like months of userpics because I couldn't deicde what to get rid of, but the whole main page thing... man, that is a tough one to give up!!

Now, let me see if there's something for you I can do...

[mlyn.livejournal.com]

Oo, she replied just as I was checking out your LJ. Here's what she says:

I had the same problem as your friend with my ilife
suite. Your friend can just buy a 512mb or 256mb ram
chip from her reputable mac dealer and that should be
moe than fine. I paid $160 for my 512 mb chip, but if
she can figure out exactly which chip goes to her
computer, she can buy it online for half the price. If
she has an imac like mine, it's easy to install: just
unscrew the base and pop it in (and make sure she's
grounded so she doesn't create a static electricity
spark <---that's very very important).

Make sure when she buys it she tells her dealer her
screen size, how much memory she currently has, her
processor speed (G4 or G5) and her MHz size. There's
different chips for different models of imac.

I don't know how to install ram on the old style of
imac (which is what the emac is today).

[gwyn-r.livejournal.com]

Oh wow, this is most informative. I will check out those places right away. I can't imagine hauling this thing off to some place, and anyway, there are hardly any good Mac places in town, and one I refuse to go to because their sales people offended me so much I won't go there unless I have a gun to my head (which this may be!).

You know, when I got this thing, everyone told me to get FC. Like, it never seemed to occur to anyone, and in the year since, that gee, telling me to get that and that I don't have enough memory are not, you know, compatible! It kind of pisses me off even more. All that "you need FC" and could anyone be bothered to say, oh, and check your RAM cuz you might not have enough"? Nooooo.

[elz.livejournal.com]

Nothing special, but:



Err, lame text could easily be altered. :)

[gwyn-r.livejournal.com]

No, don't -- I have your discs set aside, I just haven't mailed them because I'm a doofus and I keep forgetting. Let me make sure I have your address and I'll get them in the mail this week. Sorry about that -- I keep wishing more people would want to see these, and then the few people who do I forget to send them to! I really suck as much as I think!

[gwyn-r.livejournal.com]

Well, whoever you are... and I think I know, but I'm not totally sure... THANK YOU.

[gwyn-r.livejournal.com]

You know, my sister couldn't get it either, and I can't figure it out because it's not set to private or anything. Weird. Let me see what I can find out for you. You'll probably just die laughing.

looking forward to Tuesday night!

[gwyn-r.livejournal.com]

You are SO kind!!! Wow. And speedy, too, man, something like that would take me weeks to do and then I'd tear my hair out and cry. You amaze me all the time with your iconage. And I adore your Jayne one... god that is high-larious in the best possible way.

Thank you!!

[morgandawn.livejournal.com]

LOL. next time we'll remind you that it only runs on Linux, you need a phillips heard screw-driver and your VIN number from your car (US models only) to install it.

Back in the PC days, I learned the hard way - now I check all sofwtare for RAM and OS before I buy. There are so many Mac apps I cannot use now because I am still (happy & stable) at 10.2.6.

I looked at the little QT file tht one web site had about replacing the RAM - it looked very easy and if you've cleaned your gutters I bet you could do this too. Really. And look - there'd be no ladders.

[namastenancy.livejournal.com]

I want your vid. I keep forgetting to ask you to e-mail me your address so that you can send it to me. So - e-mail me the address and I'll send you the envelope (stamped right) and then, you can send me the fruits of your labors.
Because I want!!!

Gimmie!


namaste SF Nancy (namastenancy@hotmai.com or nej1945@earthlink.net(addinglongendingtopreventspamharvesteretc.

[herself_nyc]

Don't resent your friends. Computers routinely ship with the smallest amount of RAM that will work, and most people buy more RAM at the time they buy the computer--but if you can't be blamed for not know that. (For instance, my Powerbook came with 256, but I upgraded two 500 mg SIMMs when I bought it.

RAM is easy to buy and install, as other commenters have pointed out. It's also cheap.

[kadymae.livejournal.com]

Go to Crucial to buy your memory on-line.

www.crucial.com

They have this little series of screens you click through that will guide you to getting the right kind of ram.

I buy all my memory from them and it's top quality.

[gwyn-r.livejournal.com]

Just as I suspected, I am a fuckwit. I thought for certain I'd put your address in my book and I can't find it, so if you get a chance today, pop me a mail with your address and I will send those off to you. And this time I will not lose your address. Criminy, I scare myself sometimes.

[labgirl2076.livejournal.com]

Well, maybe I can get my post in. Right in the middle of me trying to post to you last night, my computer big time fucked up. Computers...can't live with 'em, can't live without them.

Anyway!

for me to be able to afford that genetic test so I can find out if I'm doomed or already have cancer and I just don't know about it

I really wish I could help you out here. Since I am a current cancer patient/survivor I can understand and appreciate the need for something such as this. Is there anything that I can do?

Also, I believe I am one of the slackers not leaving feedback. Sometimes I don't do it because I feel I cannot offer any constuctive advice for the writer (grammar, sentance structure, insight, and the like) and only gushy things like "wow, I love it" and "that was awesome." It makes me feel lame. But you probably need to hear that people out there like your work too. So, your TFATF fic and vid are awesome! I really do love both of them. In fact I watch the vid a lot, well when my computer actually works I do. See..lame!

[jackiekjono.livejournal.com]

RAM and memory are the same thing. It is OK to touch the hardware inside - just make sure it is unplugged first and that you have clean hands. : )

Do you have a tech-savvy friend who lives near you who can help you figure out how to put the memory in? Sometimes those things are really obvious and go in smooth as butter. Other times, it is hard to figure out what slot you are supposed to stick them in and you have to wiggle them in just the right way.

Also, if it's a nice light little iMac, you might be able to just bring the thing with you to the computer store, put it up on the desk and say, "I would liike you to max out the RAM please. They typically sell you the RAM and charge you $10 or so for the install. They will probably just do it while you wait may let you watch them so you know what's going on the next time you upgrade the memory.

Oops. Nevermind.

[jackiekjono.livejournal.com]

I can see that my "just take it to the store and say 'Do me!'" was already suggested. I should probably read all the way through things suggested before I open my mouth.

Sorry about that.

[gwyn-r.livejournal.com]

Thank you for this link -- my friend who can help me install it (she doesn't have the extra electricity problem that I do, plus she's hardware savvy!) said this was exactly the right thing I needed (I did their little click through program). And those are good prices!

[gwyn-r.livejournal.com]

I really wish I could help you out here. Since I am a current cancer patient/survivor I can understand and appreciate the need for something such as this. Is there anything that I can do?

That is incredibly kind of you to offer. My big problem is that I don't even know what the test is called, and I need to navigate through both the ovarian cancer support network and find out, and then deal with the insurance company, whch I'm just dreading so much I haven't done anything about it. I hate the insurance co. SO MUCH that I can't stand the thought of calling to try to find out, and expect the worst in terms of actually getting an answer. My doc thinks the ultrasound/CA125 isn't useful for me, and I believe that too, so this genetic test is really the only way to go to determine if it's something I need to keep an eye on.

Is it rude to ask what you're in treatment for? I'm so sorry to hear that, and you have my utmost sympathy... I've been around the block a lot with my family members on it, and it's so very very hard. I hope it will go well for you.

Re: Oops. Nevermind.

[gwyn-r.livejournal.com]

No, I'm actually just tickled that people responded, so please don't apologize! It makes a big difference to me that there are so many people who are willing to offer advice. When you're dumb, the only thing that helps is to know when you need assistance, and at least I'm clever enough to know I do!

Re: Oops. Nevermind.

[jackiekjono.livejournal.com]

Nothing dumb about it. If you've never had to look for that stuff before, it's only normal that you wouldn't know where or what it is.

Peole just like your vids so much that they want to contribute in whatever way possible to get you up and running as quickly and efficiently as possible with as little confusion as possible.

[lordshiva.livejournal.com]

For my wonderful friends who write so fantastically, yet can't seem to get arrested by publishers who are too cretinous to see their brilliance, to get published and big book contracts and fame and fortune (and yeah, I'm especially looking at you, Kelly)

Gywn, am I the Kelly in question? Because hey, if I am, that particular wish has come true in small part.

I sold a short story. Called PETER I AM LOST. My first official sale of a short story ever.

Excuse me just a moment...


EEEEEEEEE!!!!!!

[lordshiva.livejournal.com]

I hate the insurance co. SO MUCH that I can't stand the thought of calling to try to find out, and expect the worst in terms of actually getting an answer. My doc thinks the ultrasound/CA125 isn't useful for me, and I believe that too, so this genetic test is really the only way to go to determine if it's something I need to keep an eye on.

Gywnneth, you must make them pay for it. On your doctor's advice yes? Plus it will save them money in the long ru. They'll go for that.

Are you dreading finding out anything from the genetic test or just dreading dealing with insurance companies?

[labgirl2076.livejournal.com]

This really intrigued me. I had to do some research. I'll post what I find at my lj. In regards to my status and treatment; no, it is not rude to ask because it is common knowledge by now. I talk about it freely. I have cervical cancer. I have already had surgery, internal and external radiation, and chemotherapy. Most of what I went through is posted at my lj. In fact, I got lj as a way for me to vent about it. So far, things are going well. Thanks for the concern. I too have ovarian cancer in the family. It's why I opted to remove my ovaries when my doctor was going in to perform a hysterectomy. Less risk to get it over with now.

In regards to the test, the gene they will test for is called BRCA1 and BRCA2. My guess is that the insurance company will not pay but then again maybe a persuasive oncologist can convince them. Also, each insurance company is individual. So, who knows?

The CA125 is a blood test. The CA 125 test is a blood test that determines the level of an antigen in the blood which is known to be a tumor marker. It is commonly used to monitor the state of the disease in ovarian cancer patients, because 80-90% of women with ovarian cancer in its later stages will have signs of the antigen in their blood. It is also used as part of a screening plan for women who are at high risk for ovarian cancer, along with a pelvic exam (with the rectovaginal compoent) and transvaginal ultrasound. I have this test frequently as part of my general screening since I've been diagnosed. Just because my ovaries are removed does not mean that I will not develop ovarian cancer, it just reduces it.

Have I helped at all or am I just taking up space in your journal?

[gwyn-r.livejournal.com]

YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So excited because, yes, I did mean you. And Herself, and HarmonyFB, and all the other wonderful people who really are sending things out and doing the work and deserve the contracts. I can't wait to read it.

[gwyn-r.livejournal.com]

Yeah, it's just dealing with insurance. I have insurance basically in name only. They pay for almost nothing even for real stuff, and it's very... well, I'm a contractor, so you can imagine how much they want to offer benefits for people who are only temporary and who are forced to take a 100-day break every year. Plus by the time I nagivate the network of voice mail hell, I'm usually so angry that I can't have a normal conversation.

[gwyn-r.livejournal.com]

Yeah. The thing about the CA 125 is that when they did that and the ultrasound on sis_r, it showed nothing really. They didn't discover the cancer until they opened her up to deal with the cyst. And since I'm totally asymptomatic and also have been taking birth control pills for over 20 years, which are supposed to reduce risk, I don't have a great faith in those tests, and neither does my doctor for those reasons. She's totally willing to write a letter requesting the test if they want it.

The truth is I've just been avoiding the isnurance co. like the plague. I find it impossible to deal with them and it's all voice mail hell anyway. So for the past two months when I should have been dealing with this I have avoided it. Stupid, I know, especially with my insurance running out soon. They barely cover anything so I'm sure they won't, even with a doctor's request, do this genetic test. I feel discouraged by the whole thing. Since she's my twin, my sister's experience should make it more imperative, but I don't believe in the insurance people seeing the light on that.