somniloquence

but I feel as if I'm getting worse, not better.

Aww, hugs. That is so normal Gwyn. You will feel this way for some time. Everyone else wants you to be well so that is why they expect you to. For their ease too. But you will feel what you do. After my son died I cried in the shower every single day for months and months. Showers are good for that it seems. There is no guidebook here. And I won't tell you it will be better, it will just be different. That might sound harsh but it is truthful. You don't need platitudes now. I wish you the very most peace. People want to hide grief and I commend you for sharing with all of us. Do you know how much courage that takes and you have shown that repeatedly. {{hugs again}}