somniloquence

I really hope it doesn't sound too callous of me to say that this is the funniest thing I've read in a *long* time -- in that "Oh jeez, ouch and painful and yet hilarious" kind of way.

And oh, god, the garage sale ... I did that after my mother died, and afterwards took a mighty oath that sooner would I drag everything to the curb, douse it with gasoline, and set it alight, than go through any such ordeal again.

I'm very glad you made it through the whole thing with your faculties intact, and are now home safely. And I'm thinking of you.