My subconscious scares me

[gwyn]

I rarely ever remember dreams. When I was seeing a therapist a long time ago, she tried various things to help me remember them, but they never worked. I'm glad, though, that I can't, because they are almost always very scary, if not outright nightmares. When I do remember them, I'm usually sorry that I do. Even ones that start out well end in disturbance. But every once in a while I get these celebrity dreams that make even less sense to me than the nightmares. The few I remember (which do, if I'm not wakened, end up scary eventually) have almost universally involved sex. When it's Michael Biehn or David Duchovny or something, I cannot complain too much (except for the ooky endings). But they're just... weird. I don't understand what they could possibly mean. This morning, before my alarm went off, I dreamed about offering a blow-job to a leather-clad Clive Owen. Now, this in itself is not disturbing, because he looked pretty hot, let me tell you. But I was gardening, for one thing, out in the alley that was my alley behind the house but not really my alley because it was dark and had a fence. And the other thing was that while we almost got started, next thing I know we're racing around in danger and something dire will happen and there was action, but no sex. Darn.

And why Clive, right now, I wonder? Because I've been in the throes of Fast and the Furious vid farr so I'm not sure why Brian or Dom are never in my dreams, as they ought to be when I spend that much time squinting at them. I'm a little over halfway there, but having trouble deciding what I want to do. I've done some things with an unusual musical bridge that while I like them, I'm not sure the clips wouldn't work better elsewhere, and I should use the garage confessional scene just because it's so... I don't know, fitting with the music. I like that Final Cut lets me experiment, but I just get so tired sometimes, about halfway through a vid, that I often won't experiment with other sequences. Anyways, I like a lot of the rest of it, though I'm waffling on whether I want, or it needs, more effects and if that means I should buy the plugin I was eyeballing. In a way I feel as if I have to "compete" with all the techy kids out there, and that a vid without many effects is somehow less cool... I hate this feeling. Like I'm back at square one in the VCR days. But I forced myself to walk away from it last night and take a break, watch a movie, so that I can get some perspective.

Anyhow. Usage post tomorrow, I hope. Nothing new in the fic realm, though.

Comments

[sdwolfpup.livejournal.com]

Maybe you don't dream about Dom and Brian because your mind only sees them together.

I dream a lot, and vividly, but I almost never remember it after I've been awake for a few seconds. All I remember is that I dreamt.

And I constantly have the "is my vid shiny enough" battle with myself. My vid for the Premieres show, for instance, has no special effects at all except for a few quick fades. I mean, it is the most technically boring vid ever and while it's a pretty strong vid as is, part of me thinks I should spice it up somehow. Except the song really is pretty straightforward, too, so I'll just leave it and hope I don't premiere after lierdumoa or someone.

Sorry - didn't mean to make this all about me. What I wanted to say is: not having all of the effects does not mean your vid is not as good.

[viverra-libro.livejournal.com]

Hi, sweetie! I'm glad to see you still posting.

Here's what I think about dreams, particularly weird ones, and how to figure them out:

The thing that causes us to dream most of the time is unresolved feelings. Like a feeling of embarassment about an event (even if it was long ago), or a feeling of worry that we're being taken advantage of by another person or situation. Our subconscious minds try to make progress on these things that concern us while we're asleep.

But most of the time, it's too immediate to use the real persons/places/things that we're concerned about. So our subconscious picks an element of the situation we're concerned about, and assigns *another* element that makes us *feel* the same way. This leads to the strange combinations that just baffle us!

For instance, I'm kind of a control freak. So any situation in which I am concerned about losing control is one that I'll probably address in my subconscious. To me, the absolute weirdness of fish (an animal that floats in the water? With wings like a bird? Weird!!! And unsettling!!) somehow "feels" like losing control to me. So when I'm worried about losing control of a situation, I dream about fish: I'll be seeing fish floating through the air, or I'm inexorably drawn into pools of water with fish in them, trapped in aquarium stores, fishing in lakes -- you name it. Fish. Bizarre, huh?

So now when I have a dream about fish, I just try to close my eyes and think about a situation that's making me feel out of control, and once I figure that out, I feel a sense of closure about the dream.

It can work other ways, too, but the replacement dream is in my opinion the most common.

All those dream symbol books you see in the marketplace? Those are mostly irrelevant to you. You have your own set of "symbolism" in your head, and you just have to figure out what it is. You are essentially talking to yourself, after all. When trying to decode your personal symbolism language, it helps to think about it just when you wake up, then write it down so you don't forget.

Hope this helps you to feel better about your dreams, at least in theory. If you ever would like to discuss it further, please do! I find it a fascinating subject.

[barkley.livejournal.com]

I get the urge to think you have to be flashy, but my favorite vids aren't necessarily flashy. Sometimes they are, sometimes they aren't. Sometimes I love them for the flash, sometimes I don't like them because of the flash and most times I love them for something completely different and those reasons have nothing to do with whether there's flash or not. *g*) So I try to keep that in mind when I'm submitting my totally unflashy vid (that is kind of bouncy, but all flash is courtesy of the source.

But I have a feeling that I'm just going to force flash on my next vid just to get it out of my system because I'm dying to see what it would look like if I just went all out flashy in ways that don't necessarily have to be there. *g*