A gift from a friend

[gwyn]

About a year ago, zebra363 sent me an email telling me that she'd planted a tree in my twin sister's memory on her new property in Australia. It was one of the most thoughtful and touching things anyone had ever done for me. She's sent me progress reports and pics since then, and I thought I'd share them with you, because it's a year old now and still going strong. Without even knowing it, zebra also picked the most perfect tree -- first of all, it's Australian, and my sister had been planning to go there and New Zealand fairly soon, before she got sick. It was a lifelong travel dream for both of us, and she had a book full of notes on what she was going to do. Second, it is a lemon-scented gum tree -- so not only is it an Aussie native, it's citrusy, and she loved citrus smells like crazy. We grew up in a very mountainy, hikey, campingy, tree-huggery family with huge tracts of forest property in this state, so trees were kind of a way of life for us -- which made this an even more apt memorial. Thank you again, zebra.

Zebra mentioned to me at the time that she didn't even know my sister's name, so I told her, and sent along a couple of pictures that her friend had taken at her last birthday party. It's hard sometimes for me to look at those pictures, knowing I wasn't there for our last birthday. It reminds me of my failures, though I think she probably had more fun without me around fussing over her and worrying. But a couple people have mentioned they've never seen a picture of her, and these are the only digital pics I have. (Well, technically there's one other one, but it's awful and I don't even look at it anymore.) I will have to figure a way to scan some of my older pictures or get grabs from the videotapes that my dad made (mostly, though, the tapes show her putting her hand up to the camera). Anyway, these were taken a few months before she died, so are not the best representation. For many years, my friends would joke that they didn't think I really had an evil twin, that I was making her up, and my biggest regret is that I don't have more pictures of us together after a certain time -- we felt like we'd been "twin photographed" to death, and that we wanted to be individuals... you just never know what's going to happen. If I can scan the last photograph of us together sometime, I will post that, too.

	This is the little tree when it was first planted.
	This is the most recent pic, with lots of mulch around it to protect it.
	This was the midway point, with it's little protecto sleeve to shield it from the hot Aussie summer sun. (I think, anyway, but I could have flipped the above pic and this one!)
	This is a rainbow zebra caught. My sister's tree would be in the foreground area.
	And another beautiful shot of the rainbow. I'm not a believer in the afterlife, but a part of me wants to believe she's keeping an eye on her tree. There's a little red dot that shows the approximate location of her tree.
	This is the last birthday party. With her is the hubby of the friend who took such amazing care of her -- and he did a lot, too. I don't know what dad and I would have done without them. The thing on his forehead is a lips sticker -- they had confetti and stickers and goofy hats and such. He was always such an amazing sport, and my sister adored him.
	This is a hard pic for me in some ways. She smiled a lot, this big face-breaking grin, but she looks so different here, with the sallow skin, the way one of her eyes kind of closed after treatment, the wig, all of it. But if I try to look past that, this is the way I remember her when she wasn't bickering and quibbling with me and bossing me around!

Comments

[moosesal.livejournal.com]

What a lovely post and what a lovely way to honor someone. I feel really moved right now and inspired to do something good for someone. Thank you for sharing.

[monanotlisa.livejournal.com]

Oh, Gwyn, that's beautiful.

::hugs you tight::

[kassrachel.livejournal.com]

What beautiful photographs. The little tree is wonderful (and the rainbow shots are glorious), and I'm so moved to know that the tree was planted for her. And I love seeing your sister, too; thank you so much for sharing these.

[mmapmaker.livejournal.com]

Thank you for sharing this part of yourself with us, with me. The pictures are beautiful, all of them, and so is the story of your love for your sister.

[lordshiva.livejournal.com]

Makes me feel that sad happiness, there's a word for it. Wistful melancholy maybe. Anyway, lovely, and hard to see, but sweet.

Love and stuff.

[kadymae.livejournal.com]

thanks for sharing this with us.

I've always wondered what sis_r looked like. Aside from sharing a very similar hair color, she comes off as (like you) being a person full of willpower.

[movies-michelle.livejournal.com]

That's great. I think it's a fabulous testament, to her and to you.

[kirbyfest.livejournal.com]

What a lovely way to honor your sister. And thank you for posting the pictures of her, too. Her smile was amazing.

[reginaspina.livejournal.com]

First of all, what a lovely thoughtful thing your friend did, and the shots of the rainbow were gorgeous.

And even though your sister was sick in these pictures, she still looks so amazingly joyful and beautiful and like someone it would be a delight to know. Thanks for sharing these memories.

[umbo.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much for posting these. I've seen zebra's trees before, in the general sense, but seeing the particular tree and seeing the pictures of your sister is so nice. I know this is all really tough, still and always, and still and always I send hugs.

*hugs*

[sdwolfpup.livejournal.com]

Thank you for sharing the pictures and more about your sister. The tree is a lovely testament to her.

[mlyn.livejournal.com]

I'm so glad to see the pics of the tree, and of Karen. You're right, it is a beautiful gift. I'm a sucker for the symbolism of a thing that grows and gives back to the environment. And for the rainbows, with supernumeraries (http://www.sundog.clara.co.uk/rainbows/supers.htm)!

Thank you for sharing these.

[fishsanwitt]

Beautiful pictures. Thank you for sharing them with us.

::gentle hugs::

[wolffire.livejournal.com]

{{hug}}

[barkley.livejournal.com]

That's a lovely memory.

[ann1962]

Thank you so much for this! Now I can put a picture to her when you talk about her. Thank you and {{hugs}}

[merricatk.livejournal.com]

Those are just lovely. Thank you so much for sharing them.

And your friend in Australia definitely had the right idea! A friend of ours sent me a little tree after Pat died, & of course I managed to kill it, & had to cry over that. Planting the tree herself, & looking after it, is much better!

[zebra363.livejournal.com]

I live in some fear that a kangaroo will take a liking to that particular tree, you realise. But so far, so good, and in another couple of years it should be pretty safe!