Innards update 2, and a request for help

[gwyn]

Saw the surgeon today. I was relieved over the weekend when I looked him up on the clinic's list and saw his photograph -- geeky facial hair, dorky high-school boy haircut, glasses, goofy toothy grin. He looked like a more polished, much thinner version of the Simpsons' Comic Book Guy. I found this oddly comforting -- the surgeon was a geek like me, and that made it seem slightly more tolerable. He didn't look like that anymore, though -- facial hair is gone, better haircut, and no glasses. He was personable, though, didn't seem like the typical super-smoothie God complex type.

But I am now scheduled for the 27th to have my innards played around with and yanked. I am freaking out, which we discussed at lenghth ("Any complications you've had with this? Any fatalities?" I asked him), and he said that since there's a camera in there already, they are going to look around and see if there's anything related to the cancer my sister had. Boy, you can get a lot of extra mileage out of medical people when you pull out the dead twin trump card!

I know that I am a big weenie and a coward for being so afraid of a simple laparoscopic surgery. But the tube down the throat, the weird reactions to anesthesia I have... it makes me definitely lean to the wuss side of things. I also read a detailed article about people who are awake during surgery and feel and hear everything, and that has haunted me for years. What if I am one of those people? Brrr. Total nightmare.

Oh well, at least I get a couple days off work. Though I have no idea if they are vacation or sick leave. Also, I have three weeks in which to figure out a way to get my hands on S2 of Slings and Arrows to watch while I recover. Just... where the hell do I get them? Someone must have them out there!

***

On an entirely different but still disappointing note, we were unable to get my music off my iPod to my iTunes last night using the program iPod Rip. I guess I will not be buying the program after my five more uses are up. It seemed to work, and I was very happy, until we started trying to play them, and they all have an exclamation point next to them, though what it signifies I can't seem to find out, and none of the songs are locatable. They just don't seem to exist anywhere on my drives. I've always had a lot of trouble locating things in OS X, such as prefs, but hours later I still couldn't find anything on a search -- we were only able to locate the songs from my friend's iPod that we used as a test import, and they were hidden away, but we were able to drag them into iTunes.

I have finally completed capturing for my Buffy & Angel all-cast vid, and I can't get the song back from my iPod. Would anyone by any small chance out there have a copy of Space's original version of Female of the Species they could send me in MP3 or 4? (Or aif or wav might be even better). This isn't the version that was redone for one of the Austin Powers movies; it has a kind of old scratchy record quality to the beginning intro and it sounds much less loungey than the AP remake. I realize it's pretty unlikely, but I thought I'd try.

Feeling very low down about retrieving my music, but I hope that vidding will be better -- if I can get the darn song again!

Comments

[kadymae.livejournal.com]

I know that I am a big weenie and a coward for being so afraid of a simple laparoscopic surgery. But the tube down the throat, the weird reactions to anesthesia I have... it makes me definitely lean to the wuss side of things. I also read a detailed article about people who are awake during surgery and feel and hear everything, and that has haunted me for years. What if I am one of those people?

I'm rather sanguine about anesthesia and such, but hey, I took a friend to the hospital last week and she wasn't quite as relaxed as me and ... well, some people get nervous, some people don't, and color me in the judge not camp.

But, y'know, depending on what they need to do and where the neves in question come out of the spine, you might be able to get away with a spinal block. There'd be a big sheet between you and the surgeon, so you couldn't see, and they'd also give you something like valium or xanax to keep you relaxed, but you might not need to be completely under.

---

I mean, not that I'm ever looking forward to having surgery again, but if I have to, if possible I'm going to ask for a spinal. And if they would give me goggles and a mask, and let me watch? I would probably handle it okay.

[bogwitch.livejournal.com]

Good luck.

Surgery is the one thing that petrifies me.

[leela-cat.livejournal.com]

Much sympathy and empathy. I haven't ever had surgery and just the idea of it, even outpatient, makes me stress.

Take care of yourself.

And remember, once a geek always a geek. Changing the outside doesn't change the inside.

[anoel.livejournal.com]

Good luck with the surgery! I really hope everything turns out alright for you.

Yay for vidding! :) I hope you can find the song as well.

[elz.livejournal.com]

I have no wisdom to offer on the surgery front (beyond "good luck" and "I'll keep my fingers crossed"), but I really like Senuti (http://www.versiontracker.com/dyn/moreinfo/macosx/23390) (iTunes spelled backwards) for iPod-ripping. Very easy to use, and also free.

[gwyn-r.livejournal.com]

Shoot -- I got all excited because I got a recommendation on something someone's used (I'm kind of shooting in the dark here, just trying what I can find on a search), but it looks like they only have it for 10.3. I'm still on 10.2.8 and reluctant to change because of how it will affect my vidding ability.

I don't know why it's been so devastating to lose my music, but this has been depressing me more than anything else. And when we couldn't get it back last night, I was just crushed.

[elz.livejournal.com]

Darn. I'm not sure where to look for older versions. There are definitely a few different solutions out there, though, so I wouldn't give up.

I don't know why it's been so devastating to lose my music, but this has been depressing me more than anything else.

Oh, I definitely know the feeling. I was going through some pretty extreme personal trauma around the time Farscape was cancelled, and trying to handle things with a stiff upper lip, and it was the bad news about the tv show (which I love, but, you know... perspective) that made me sit down on the kitchen floor and bawl. It sucks all the more when your sources of comfort start to become part of your list of problems. (Plus, telling myself that I'm displacing my anxiety has never actually stopped me from doing it. Or made me feel any less crappy.)

[par-avion.livejournal.com]

Senuti ... version 0.21 will work for mac OS 10.2.x

Try this

http://www.fadingred.org/senuti/download/?source=1&version=0.21

from here

http://www.fadingred.org/senuti/release_notes/

[gwyn-r.livejournal.com]

Phooey. I tried this, but there doesn't seem to be any actual app in the download. Lots and lots of files, but no app icon to run the program with.

back to the drawing board!

[par-avion.livejournal.com]

http://www.versiontracker.com/dyn/moreinfo/macosx/23390&vid=179458&mode=info

maybe?

[par-avion.livejournal.com]

other software

http://mac.softpedia.com/get/iPod-Tools/iPod-Music-Liberator.shtml

[merricatk.livejournal.com]

At work they just made us delete all downloaded music, & I've been crying about it. Some of that music had saved me when the days got too bad.

[rattlecatcher.livejournal.com]

I'm coattail-riding on Elz (above) (you know, if you mutter "Elz above" it sorta sounds like Beelzebub...)

Uh, anyway - yeah, no wisdom, no experience with surgical procedures outside of being a driver for a few friends having outpatient. But I would seriously have to wonder about people who weren't wigged out by the idea of a tube down the throat. Not arguing the ultimate good it represents, but just - ick!

I'm just here to support your right to wig, and add my wishes of good luck and good thoughts.

[cereta.livejournal.com]

Dude, surgery is always nerve-wracking, no matter how minor. Good thoughts coming your way!

[namastenancy.livejournal.com]

You are so not a weenie for trying to avoid pain. Jeeze Lousie - go easy on yourself. In fact, it's a sign of health that you are not a masochist. So, good luck on the surgery and good for you to take care of yourself. My sister has diabetes. While it's nowhere near as traumatic for me as your sister's illness was for you - as my sister is still very much alive and feisty as all get out -- I know the scared, sick, oh-my-god-i've-got-to- lose weight, what a crappy disease feeling.

[par-avion.livejournal.com]

I also have had weird reactions to anaethesia. (Is your blood type B ?)

I can only suggest mentioning it to your doctor. Perhaps he's had past experiences with other patients, and will take your concern seriously.

(I'm not going to explain what my weirdness was, unless you want to tell it to your Dr. Otherwise I will only tell you after your surgery).

[mmapmaker.livejournal.com]

We are who we are. If the thought of surgury makes you nervous, then it does; try not to beat yourself up for how you feel.

As for S&A, check out cdntvonthedl. Wonderful comm, and everything's sorted by tags.

Good luck with everything.

[merricatk.livejournal.com]

Sweetie, I was really scared about the whole Demerol&Valium thing they were going to give me for the colonoscopy; there was a part of me that was genuinely afraid I'd never wake up. So, for what it's worth, you don't sound like a coward to me. You're scared, but you're doing it, which is the definition of bravery in my book.

And did I tell you I started watching Slings & Arrows? Of course I don't get the station it's on anymore, but I bought season 1 & plan to buy season 2.

[thefourthvine.livejournal.com]

Oh, man. Surgery is scary.

*hugs*

(Oh, and for the record, I second mmapmaker's recommendation of cdntvonthedl.)