Well, so much for that plan

[gwyn]

Today I got a fantastic phone call from my boss telling me that I was no longer a "good fit" for the job. Bye-bye! Don't let the door hit your ass on the way out! She just kept saying how sorry she was and I was thinking, please stop saying that, as you are not sorry and it's getting annoying. But I didn't say much at all. This has kind of been our relationship from the beginning, and I have never liked her and at times actively hated her.

I'm no longer a fit because I'm not a tech head, and they want more technically oriented people, and I'm on the west coast, and they want someone in an east coast office who can go and do the tech stuff because I can't out here working remotely. And I know a lot of it is that I also broke the site a while ago, and while everyone was saying there was no way I could know that doing a) would lead to b) and they should never have built the tech that way so that one tiny thing could break it, I never mea culpa'ed to my boss specifically, just to everyone else, and that really sticks in her craw. She's the kind of person who makes micromanaging seem like a fun thing to have done to you -- she's like... nanomanaging, or something.

Anyway, I have until Feb to find a new job (good luck with that!) and for them to find a replacement. It's funny, I worked at a job once where I had three months they wanted me to finish, and mostly I think that was because they had no one to pick up my slack. Six months after I left they finally found someone, but they'd had to rewrite the job description because they couldn't find anyone with my skill set. But I think the magazine is much less about editing anymore, and all about the techy flashy stuff.

I'm pretty depressed about it, mostly because I'd rather not stick around but it's a lot easier to find work when you're working, and I'm kinda broke, what with adding a whole new house to my house. The hardest part in a way is coping with the idea of not working from home anymore. I hate the idea of going out into the crap weather all the time, and Olive is going to have to adjust her lifestyle as well -- she's only lived here with me when I can feed her and let her in and out all day long. Poor kid.

I told my dad this afternoon when he came by and he was his usual supportive self. "Oh, no! --pause-- I have to go use your bathroom." I said thanks for that show of tender support and later he asked me "I don't know what else you want me to say," and I said, "Maybe just once you could say something dadlike and go 'it'll be okay' or 'you're not a fuckup' or something." All he could muster was a sighing "well". Thanks, Dad.

My field is pretty small here. And I'm older and in a salary range I doubt I can meet. I wish I felt comfortable going freelance, but I so don't. Mostly I just feel like a fuckup who's unable to keep up with the kids these days, and that there's something wrong with me that I keep ending up back here again. It's sort of a joke that I run the practicum at the UW certificate program when I can't even keep myself employed.

Comments

[kassrachel.livejournal.com]

Oh no. I'm so sorry. What a frustrating and miserable thing.

If I had a million dollars I would totally hire you to make vids all the time, but I realize that doesn't actually help your situation any. :P

[monanotlisa.livejournal.com]

No matter how competent you are, the times are such that employers are likely--and tempted--to fire you once they see the slightest opening. I'm sorry, Gwyn.

[elz.livejournal.com]

I'm so sorry to hear that. *hugs*

[kirbyfest.livejournal.com]

Oh, crap. I'm so sorry.

It's hard to think positively today, I know (I've been in your shoes), but there's nothing wrong with you. This is the sucky way the world is. My father worked for the same company for 33 years; I could lose my job tomorrow and probably will.

Given my job, I have good resume/cover letter/job hunting fu and am happy to help in any way I can. Just let me know. And despite the holidays this is not a bad time to start sending resumes out; a lot of people give up sending stuff in, so you may actually stand out more.

[thefourthvine.livejournal.com]

I'm so sorry. And I really don't think this means you're a fuckup or that there's anything wrong with you; if anything, it sounds like something was wrong on your boss's end of the equation.

*hugs*

[movies-michelle.livejournal.com]

Man, I am so sorry. There really is little more depressing than continuing to work for people after they fire you. Wow, that was fun.

Let me know if there's anything I can do. And, really, if you find yourself at loose ends by February, consider temping at the U: I know it would be a huge cut in pay, probably, but it's something, and it's the only way to get your foot in the door there.

[varina8.livejournal.com]

Oh, Gwyn, my sympathy. I hate the insecurity of today's job market.

To add to what movies_michelle said, the U also has a network of vetted freelancers that will likely pay better than temp work and still get you in the door. See the Creative Consultants Network under Publications Services.

[the-shoshanna.livejournal.com]

Oh, jeez, gwyn, I'm so sorry. You are not a fuckup, and I am wishing you all the best job-finding karma.

[leela-cat.livejournal.com]

Assholes.

Sorry. Had to get that out of my system. It really isn't about you. You're not a fuckup. They just can't see what they have for the vision of what they think they want.

My idiot tech company is advertising for an editor. I can't recommend them as caring employers (given what's happened lately), but it's a job. *shrug*

[klia.livejournal.com]

I'm so sorry. *hug*

[katallison.livejournal.com]

Aw, HELL. That totally sucks, and I'm so very sorry to hear it.

It's really hard to ever know for sure what's going on behind the scenes in situations like this, but I seriously doubt it has anything to do with any failings on your part; I've seen too many wonderfully able people fired or laid off for reasons that were all bound up in organizational politics, or someone else's greed, or were just plain freaking random.

I know it's discouraging as hell, but I have great confidence that something good will come up for you (the same mantra I'm giving myself...). Many hugs, and I'll give you some in person on Saturday.

[brynnmck.livejournal.com]

Oh, Gwyn, I'm really sorry. But it really does sound like this isn't your fault--even just the east coast-west coast thing can be a big obstacle for some employers, especially over time. I will be sending you all the positive energy I have, with the hope that you find something that will be really good for you (and Olive!).

[sherrold.livejournal.com]

Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that, Gwyn! I'm sure you're right -- they won't know how good they've had it until you're gone. On the bright side, you can get away from HER...

I'm looking for work myself right now -- I'll keep my eyes open if I see anything that looks possible.

[gwyn-r.livejournal.com]

Have you figured out what direction you wanted to go? We should get together and drink and commiserate, although your situation is much worse than mine (and I'm STILL PISSED on your behalf) so you get more drinkies. I guess the worst part is not knowing what to do about Escapade right now. This is the time Tina and I usually plan, but I don't know what to do.

[barkley.livejournal.com]

Oh, that sucks.

[zandra-x.livejournal.com]

That sucks and blows at the same time as Bart Simpson once said. I'm sorry.

[sdwolfpup.livejournal.com]

That really sucks, gwyn, I'm very sorry to hear that. I have to second and third and fourth the above, though: it doesn't sound like it's you at all, and I seriously doubt it would be even if the boss said it was. You are definitely not a fuckup.

[ann1962]

Wow, I am really sorry about this turn of events. I am also sick of manipulating bosses who make people feel bad about themselves. ::hugs::

[mackiemesser.livejournal.com]

Damn, I'm sorry to hear that.
Nice of them to tell you during holidays, too./sarcasm.

"My field is pretty small here. And I'm older and in a salary range I doubt I can meet. I wish I felt comfortable going freelance, but I so don't. Mostly I just feel like a fuckup who's unable to keep up with the kids these days, and that there's something wrong with me that I keep ending up back here again. It's sort of a joke that I run the practicum at the UW certificate program when I can't even keep myself employed."
Ever since I hightailed it out of So Cal, I've been butting my head up against similar situations, so you've got all my sympathies. And then some.

[minim_calibre]

You're not a fuckup. Your soon to be ex-employers on the other hand?

I have heard that F5 is hiring. I don't know how much WAH they allow, but I do know that my work buddy's wife works for them as an editor, and is apparently happy as a clam and paid pretty well.

[gwyn-r.livejournal.com]

That's good to hear -- I might e you privately to see if I can get a contact name. Gotta start hitting the pavement as soon as I can. sigh. Thanks for telling me that -- I have a feeling I'm going to end up over at the evil empire again, but... we'll see.

[keiko-kirin.livejournal.com]

Crap! You're not a fuck-up -- they are idiots who don't know a good thing when they have it. *hug*

[claire.livejournal.com]

:( {{{hugs}}}

That sucks so much. I will send awesome job-replacement thoughts in your general direction.

[kadymae.livejournal.com]

You're not fucked up.
Your employer is.

[feochadn.livejournal.com]

Dude, you are SO not a fuckup. Lovely timing on the part of the asshole employers, btw.
Come over on Friday for Dexter and I'll make you food. I think I even have a bottle of good German white wine.

[gwyn-r.livejournal.com]

Ausgezeichnet.

Think your hell employer needs another proofreader?

[elynross.livejournal.com]

I am so *very* sorry, gwyn. It's an awful situation to be in, at an awful time of year. But you're a strong, determined woman -- I really do think it will ultimately be okay.

[superplin.livejournal.com]

Oh, Gwyn. I'm so sorry. But you are... whatever the opposite of a fuckup is called. Fuckdown?

I'll send all my good job-finding mojo in your direction.

[nwhepcat.livejournal.com]

Oh hell. I'm so sorry to hear that.

[dine.livejournal.com]

ugh, what sucky news! I'm far from impressed with your boss' handling of this, though of course there's no approach or season in which this would be good news.

I'm betting this has more to do with the different coasts/tech stuff than any failings on your part - you're totally NOT a fuckup!

*hugs* and all sorts of good wishes that you find someplace that values you as you deserve