I'm sitting here waiting/ the gun's still warm

[gwyn]

Oh, I am such a bad poster. And then when I finally do an update, there's so much to talk about that I don't want to type it all, and I don't put it up anyway. Sigh.

So, this is the past coupla weeks:
- Went to a new dentist recommended to me by black_bird_777 to look at the crown. Explained all my dental issues, including the gag reflex so bad it's "throw up on you" bad. They assure me I will be in good (but really super expensive) hands, and they want to rebuild the whole crown (of course). I don't think they fully understand the gag reflex issue, but... they will when I start flailing wildly, I guess. It's very, very expensive. I go in Tuesday and I am afeared.

- Dentist also did something that every dentist I've been to for the past few years has -- wants me to get braces to fix my really crowded and crooked front teeth. I had braces when I was like 12-13, and it was a miserable experience. The old kind, with the band that wraps around your teeth. They sheared my gums off a couple of times when the mallet slipped, then another time, the orthodontist's daughter was working in the office and she snipped the new wires on the teeth and left them up, so that when I closed my mouth, it turned to hamburger. He was insanely mean and unfriendly; all the kids at school who went to the other orthodontist in town were happy; none of the kids who went to Dr. C were, like me. I very well remember him screaming at me with red-faced rage on my birthday.

The thing is, no one ever told me, when I was young and didn't know about these things, that stopping wearing my retainer would allow my teeth to shift out of line. When I got my wisdom teeth out, for some reason, I took a really long time to heal, and when I tried to put my retainer in (I was about 19 then), it wouldn't go. So I stopped. Not one person ever told me that would be a bad thing eventually, and over the years, my teeth just got worse and worse. I don't have the money, but I understand their concern -- it's affecting my bite now and could fracture my front tooth that's hitting my bottom one. So now I'm looking at the possibility of getting braces, at my age. What fun. I know it's not that uncommon, it's just that geez, I didn't think this year could get any worse with facing the big Five-O alone. Gah. It's not cosmetic, it's just totally about the bite -- when you're this ugly, what difference does having crooked teeth make? I really don't want to do this but he was really urging me, and now my dad is too.

- Also found out that I have no bicuspids. All these years, and no one has ever mentioned to me that I'm missing quite a lot of teeth. My mouth is very small (I know! it's the funniest thing ever!) and I asked Dad if he remembered them pulling teeth when I was little because it was so small, and he said sis_r and I both had quite a lot of teeth pulled, before they ever looked at taking out the wisdom teeth. So decades have gone by without me even knowing I had fewer teeth than most people.

- Saw that infamously leaked copy of the koffxmencharacterkoff summer blockbuster sort of by accident. Interesting.

- Saw Fast & Furious, but only once, since I couldn't make it again this morning. I was nervous, I admit. My stomach was in knots, because I have invested so much love and attention to this fandom and I was really afraid it was going to be a mockery of my fandom. But you know, it turned out pretty damn good. I have a lot of things I want to say about it, but whether I find the time to, I don't know. The thing I think I loved most about it is that they didn't even try to pretend that it isn't a gay love story about a cop and his bad-boy boyfriend. I know there are people who can't see this, but those are also the kind of people who need warnings on their bag of peanuts that they "may contain peanuts."

- Finally finished clipping for my Club VV vid. It has taken me for fucking ever because first there was a job, then there was a presentation at a conference, then there was getting ready for class... I finally started the actual vidding process tonight and I have a whole 46 seconds that only mildly suck. I like the song I'm doing (Golden Earring's Twilight Zone, for Charlie Jade), but I have the distinct feeling I'm going to hate it like mad when I'm finished.

- Speaking of vidding for VVC, kadymae bought me in the Auction for $400 freaking dollars. Whoa, do I feel like I better give her a good show. And she wants something Fast and the Furious related. Whee!

- And then, speaking of class, this year I'm doing a lot more behind the scenes work for the class than ever. I'm still not sure about all the group, but they do seem like interesting people. I think some students want something from the class it's not designed for. That's worrisome. I guess we'll see how it shakes out. I feel like such a fraud teaching them about starting careers in editing and guiding them in the work experience when I'm such a loser in the work dept. But I guess I talk a good game.

- It seems like in the past few days about 80% of my flist has announced their dreamwidth account. And then they always seem to disclaim it's not a cool kids club or clique. Which amuses me -- they do this about the Archive of Our Own, too. It seems like everyone has an invite code who's anybody or beta access or what have you -- and it's easy to say it's not a club when you're, you know, in it. People are weird. I'm very interested in trying it out even though I have no real intentions to move house (when it's in open beta, I guess, since I'm in the great unwashed, dontcha know) unless i have a really overwhelming reason to do so. There's so much here that I doubt will move, that I'm unlikely to want to do anything drastic.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

I hope your teeth problems get resolved without it being too painful or too expensive... keeping fingers crossed!

Re: dreamwith, yes, I did notice the "It's for fans, all fans!" IF you are a BNF or belong to a clique or know someone or send them money. By fans, for fans: yeah, right. That is exactly what LJ had promised fandom at the beginning too.

Mind you, I am not necessarily opposed to sending money -actually yes, I am... because I do not trust the people behind Dreamwith, ie, synecdochic, late of LiveJournal and her post defending LJ during the strikethrough brouhaha- except I am paranoid and want to stay anonymous.

And of course there is no way to pay anonymously: plus if I have to pay, how different is that from LJ?

At least with an Archive of Our Own I trust the founders (shalott and al.) to be trying to do the right thing, regardless of the errors of implementation they may commit.

PS: this is just a personal response to gwyn_r, not an invitation for people to spam her LJ with replies pointing out how misguided and ill-informed I am about Dreamwith.

[zvi-likes-tv.livejournal.com]

The best chance to get an invite code during closed beta is to login with OpenID (http://dreamwidth.org/openid) and then confirm your e-mail (http://www.dreamwidth.org/support/faqbrowse.bml?faqid=3). They're randomly sending 20-50 OpenID users a day an invite code.

[jo-lasalle.livejournal.com]

I don't doubt that being famous on the internet and knowing lots of people who know people improves your chances of getting an invite code, but I'm really not well-connected fannishly, my sole active fandom is solidly LJ-based and generally hasn't even heard of DW, and I still got an invite code through sheer dumb luck. There does seem to be a lot of randomness to it.

[elz.livejournal.com]

After going to the orthodontist for 11 years, I wound up with retainers that fit so badly I could barely swallow, so I know whereof you speak. Hope it works out with minimal pain and inconvenience. :/

With websites that attract attention before they're fully open and functional, I don't think there is a way to do a closed beta that doesn't suck. You need manageable numbers of people to test things out in the knowledge that some stuff will be incomplete or broken, but all anyone on the outside is going to see is that they can't play. And where usernames are unique, there's the obvious benefit of having more options the earlier you get in.

That said, I got a DW invite by commenting on a random post in the dreamwidth community. :) I have an archive account because I volunteered to work on it, and anyone who leaves feedback (http://archiveofourown.org/en/feedback) goes on the invite queue, no matter who they are.

[kassrachel.livejournal.com]

My sympathies on the braces -- that is no kind of fun.

It seems like in the past few days about 80% of my flist has announced their dreamwidth account. And then they always seem to disclaim it's not a cool kids club or clique. Which amuses me -- they do this about the Archive of Our Own, too. It seems like everyone has an invite code who's anybody or beta access or what have you -- and it's easy to say it's not a club when you're, you know, in it.

I've been seeing this case around my flist, and it's driving me kind of batty, because in both cases the limited-account situation is temporary and is because the projects are in beta.

I have an AO3 account because I donate my time to the OTW. If you're not a volunteer but still want a beta account, the best way to get one is to offer feedback on the archive, since we periodically add user accounts to the beta testing phase, and those accounts are drawn out of the pool of people who offer feedback. When the archive is out of beta, it will be free and open to everyone.

There is no mystery about how to get an AO3 beta account -- offer feedback, and/or become a volunteer with the org -- and once we're out of beta, they'll be free for everyone. I wish that didn't feel cliquish to people; I don't see how else we could be doing things, while the archive is being built.

[sdwolfpup.livejournal.com]

Hey, I'm supposed to get braces, too! Except the total cost is seven thousand dollars so there will be none of that right now. (Srsly, how do they live with themselves?) Otherwise, I would so totally be your braces buddy. It would be nice to have someone else to go through it with. Heh.

Mostly I just don't WANT fandom to move to DW because ultimately I'm selfish and comfortable here and have a permanent account I don't want to give up. But I know I'm swimming against the tide at this point (and they are doing a lot to try to make the two bases compatible), so whenever that $3/month thing opens at the end of the month, I'll grab my name so I can at least follow people over there.

[thisisbone.livejournal.com]

The thing I think I loved most about it is that they didn't even try to pretend that it isn't a gay love story about a cop and his bad-boy boyfriend. I know there are people who can't see this, but those are also the kind of people who need warnings on their bag of peanuts that they "may contain peanuts."

HEEEEE!

I've had dentists tell me I need braces, too, mostly for my jaw. I did it once; I don't want to do it again. So I feel you.

[kadymae.livejournal.com]

The thing I think I loved most about it is that they didn't even try to pretend that it isn't a gay love story about a cop and his bad-boy boyfriend. I know there are people who can't see this, but those are also the kind of people who need warnings on their bag of peanuts that they "may contain peanuts."

This. Yes. Thank you.

[montanaharper]

I'm really looking forward to both vids!

[montanaharper]

PS: this is just a personal response to gwyn_r, not an invitation for people to spam her LJ with replies pointing out how misguided and ill-informed I am about Dreamwith.

In which case you might have been better served by sending her a private message about it. Since you didn't, I can only assume you have an axe to grind but wished to do so without taking personal responsibility for the opinions you expressed.

[imkalena.livejournal.com]

I am so sorry about your teeth shifting. :(

I got braces at 30 because I couldn't have them as a kid (no money), so I got by far the better end of the deal than I would've back in the day. No more bands around your teeth. That must have hurt like hell.

Although the orthodontist said it hurts more for adults, it surely wasn't as bad as what you went through then. Only turning the canines was *truly* painful.

I had two teeth pulled, and I made the dentist do them both at the same time because no way in hell was I going to sweat through waiting to GO BACK and have the other one pulled. Nowadays after you have the brackets taken off, they give you peridontal surgery to cut the tooth ligaments to prevent them from moving back to where they came from.

My teeth did move a little bit (I wore the retainer at night for years, but it didn't bother me any.) But I don't think they moved enough to have it be visible to the naked eye. You'd have to measure.

And that was almost 20 years ago now. I suspect things have gotten even better.

[gwyn-r.livejournal.com]

I actually have a lot of positive feelings about Dreamwidth and I'm looking forward to adding it to my fannish communication arsenal. I definitely don't mean to sound like I'm anti-DW, it's just that in a closed beta like it's been, it's funny to me (and I mean funny funny, not sarcasm funny) that so many people are getting accounts before it becomes open beta, and they are all "it's not a club!" when it looks like that from the outside.

I think it probably is going to be the best solution for the folks who often went to Insane Journal, especially because I doubt IJ could support a huge fannish influx if another big cluster fuck happen on LJ again, like it probably will. But I am also pretty sure that most of my communities and such will not move, so I'll be in both places at once. ;-)

[gwyn-r.livejournal.com]

Ah, I did not know that. I am not especially well-versed in this sort of thing, I had to go find out what Open ID even meant a few weeks ago. I'm still not entirely sure I understand it!

[gwyn-r.livejournal.com]

Randomosity! Yeah, it seems that way -- except I think for the past couple days, where it appeared that almost everyone on my flist had an account. That was quite a change from the few people in closed beta, and it surprised me!

[gwyn-r.livejournal.com]

I promised him I would at least think about going to the consultation with the orthodontist, but everyone seems to be pushing me for more of a commitment. ;-)

yeah, I realize there's a rock and a hard place situation with the excitement building around DW and AOO. I really didn't hear anything, though, about how to get an account in closed beta on the AOO, and that made me really confused when I would suddenly see people popping up talking about their new account and posting their stories there -- I was like "wha? What did I miss?"

And I'm never going to be the kind of person anyone would want in a closed beta because I am so technically incompetent. Although, back in the earliest days of computer gaming, my friends who had a gaming company would bring stuff home to test on me because I was so unutterably lousy at it that they figured if I could reach a certain point before dying, then the game would have a good percentage of playing ability. "Let's get gwyn to try it. She's awful."

[gwyn-r.livejournal.com]

I think the thing that surprised me about Ao3 was that I knew a lot of the people involved with the OTW would have accounts and were looking for volunteer testers as well, but then more and more people kept popping up with "Hey, I posted all my stories there!" and I was certain I must have missed something important, but couldn't find out what. (And, uh, I've been a bad girl and still haven't had the money to send in to renew my OTW membership. Yikes.)

I am planning when the open beta of DW comes to get an account, it just seems like the account having has swarmed in the past few days hugely, but people keep trying to present it as "I'm not in the clique" which is of course what makes it sound like a clique. ;-) ANd when I said I find it funny, I actually meant as in laughing funny, not bitterly amused or whatever -- it does kind of crack me up. That whole thing of "if you have to say you're not a BNF, then you're a BNF" is what it reminds me of.

Of course, by the time DW opens up, I will no longer be able to get the name I'd really wish for -- I've always hated that I had to get something I didn't want here! But there are so many people in the closed beta now that no way will I be able to!

(BTW, I have this thing I have wanted to say about the vidding info on the OTW pages, but I have never been able to figure out a way to discuss it online where it doesn't sound like I'm being pissy -- online communication sometimes just seems so fraught. But there are things I have concerns about, and I don't know how to really voice them, and I'm wondering if that may be something I could talk to you about?)

[kassrachel.livejournal.com]

Hey, I'm sorry if this comment was defensive; I should know better than to respond to lj posts before I've had my morning tea. :-)

You are totally welcome to come to me with any OTW concerns, at any time. Email me off-lj? :-) I am not directly involved with the vidding history page or the suite of fair use vids but I would love to hear your input and will do my best to pass it along to people who do work more directly with the vidding history stuff.

[gwyn-r.livejournal.com]

Oh, holy shit! I was poking around online and it seemed like the prices were around $5,000, which is scary, but at least it's in that imaginable range. Did you get a second opinion? That's what I'm wondering about. They want to rec me to someone who will probably be higher priced, downtowny kind of place, and I know that a lot of times those are the folks who have the most experience, but... maybe it'd cost less somewhere else.

I would love to have a braces buddy, honest. The fact that I have to go through this again... I know it's reasonable for them to want me to do this, but the cost is just... gah. And I don't even think I'll live that long to enjoy the straight teeth, because the cancer thing!

yeah, I think for me at this point, DW will be largely about following and connecting to people. I'm not a multi-site networker (I can only be arsed to log on to Twitter or Facebook about 1/3 of the time) at all, and I hate the idea of two places, but... I want to stay connected to people I care about.

[gwyn-r.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I think that's the worst part of it -- just having to go through it *again*. There is no way it's not going to suck monumentally and not going to bring up all my bad 13-year-old's pain memories.

I envy you having seen the movie three times. I want to go again so bad, if for nothing else than that fight scene with Brian's legs wrapped around Dom's neck. Sigh.

[gwyn-r.livejournal.com]

Yay! (Me too, in a way.)

Hey, thanks for your response above.

[gwyn-r.livejournal.com]

Oh wow, I did not know that about the ligaments. That is fascinating (also, scary). I guess this is what I get for having such a small mouth that they had to take out 1/3 of my teeth! It's one of those things where you're like "geez, can't this body have ANYthing that works right or looks good?"

I'm keeping my fingers crossed most that I can have the Invisalign ones, but someone told me once my teeth were too crooked, and then other dental folks have told me that my gag reflex would make the mold-making impossible. I don't know. One way or another.

[elz.livejournal.com]

Although, back in the earliest days of computer gaming, my friends who had a gaming company would bring stuff home to test on me because I was so unutterably lousy at it that they figured if I could reach a certain point before dying, then the game would have a good percentage of playing ability. "Let's get gwyn to try it. She's awful."

Hee! Then you'd probably be exactly the sort of person you want for a closed beta! When you get a bunch of uber-techy people working on something, it's easy to get lost in the mindset of "well, of course everyone will just automatically understand how this is supposed to work..."

[klia.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I did that, and am trying to be patient, but am about the only person I know who still doesn't have an account.

[klia.livejournal.com]

Hope the new dentist is really, really good, and everything goes fine with the new crown!

About your teeth moving: BAH! My jaw is so small, I had 5 teeth (upper and lower incisors, plus baby canine) pulled just to get the braces on. No one told me I had to wear my retainers forever, either! My orthodontist told me to wear them for a few years, then stop, and the teeth would settle. And now my lower front teeth are getting crooked again.

And tomorrow I have my TMJ checked out. *gulp*

[elz.livejournal.com]

Btw, they just gave out more invites to current users, so let me know if you'd like one!

[gwyn-r.livejournal.com]

Hey, sure! I did sign in with Open ID yesterday but then didn't know what to do about it!! So that might be better for the uninitiated. Thank you so much!

[elz.livejournal.com]

Got any email address preferences? (You can email me at elzj78@yahoo.com if you don't want to post it here.)

[(Anonymous)]

Well, the impression DW gives of being a closed club was also the impression LJ gave at the beginning to be fair, though I should point out that I never was a big LJ fan anyway: I just came around when all the mailing lists and bulletin board and arvchives started drying up. I am just lazy, not loyal to LJ or anything...

:)

So I think you are right to keep an open mind. That is clearly the best thing to do: wait and see what happens, and if fandom does transition, which is not yet clear to me, move after taking all reasonable precautions and backups (DW will likely offer utilities to do a mass import from LJ-type sites).

About InsaneJournal and GreatestJournal (I am on GJ as well), it is worth noting that a lot of LJ client now allow crossposting as a matter of course, so there is no reason why you couldn't get set up to do so with Dreamwidth too.

I think that we'll see an evolution of fandom where the fanfiction gets posted consistently to archives or websites and only the comments and social interaction will be posted solely to a social site. When it comes to content, the whole posting fic to LJ or wherever just has never made any sense to me...

LJ and all LJ-type sites on the other hand are optimized for discussions which by their very nature are or should be ephemeral.

In fact, the proper way to think of LJ has always seemed to me to compare it to a bigger than usual bulletin board with some added functionality allowing the easy customization of individual forums.

[ninasis.livejournal.com]

I've finally jumped into the Fast and Furious fandom, and have just started reading Ciudad de Estrellas, which is already completely awesome and I'm only one chapter into it! I just wanted to comment and let you know why I friended you so you wouldn't think I'm a random crazy person. (I have no Brian/Dom icons yet, so forgive the random userpic please.)

[gwyn-r.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much! I'm just so thrilled that the stories are enjoying a new life and that people are finding them through the new movie. More fans = happy me!!!

[gwyn-r.livejournal.com]

Would you believe that I am now looking at everyone's smiles and noticing how many teeth they have? I lalways knew I had a small mouth, but I never thought that I had fewer teeth, and so now I'm always watching actors and stuff and thinking, wow, they have so many teeth!

You never said how the TMJ thing went. What's the news?

[klia.livejournal.com]

Apparently, I have a really deep bite (my upper front teeth almost completely cover my lower), and it's causing strain on my jaw muscles. So, I have to wear a splint (a clear plastic retainer-like thingie that fits over my lower molars and behind my lower front teeth that keeps my teeth apart, and I've had some pretty intensely painful craniosacral release and injections of local anesthetic in my head and jaw. Not horrible, but definitely unpleasant.