Won't look down, won't open my eyes

[gwyn]

Saw the surgeon yesterday, and she has approved me to lift things again, so Blues is now at my mercy whenever I want. Nonconsensual cuddling has already begun. I think he liked it the way it was because in order to cuddle him, I had to lure him onto the counter so he was at chest height; that meant he got a treat every time. He's the biggest treat whore in felinedom. (I should probably check out that Animal Planet show My Big Fat Pet Makeover…)

She thinks the incisions that refuse to heal will eventually get there. We talked a little about exactly what part of the colon she removed, and the future plans to monitor me. She said I'm basically the walking embodiment of why health care is so important, because the tumor was found on just a random, routine colonoscopy. The sad part is that next year I probably won't have anything at all.

I had one good piece of news in all the bills and statements that have begun arriving, which are terrifying (the hospital bill for the surgery and the room are well more than $100,000, I don't know what my co-insurance will be yet but it's not gonna be good). One of the first bills I received was from Myriad, the company that contracts to do the genetic testing in the gene program at my clinic. According to the insurance company statement, it was out of network and would cost at least $3,600, and I'd asked repeatedly, of both the Myriad and Dr. Smith's office people, whether insurance would pay for it because I wouldn't be able to. And they were vague and unhelpful and all insisted that if insurance wouldn't pay, they would call me and I would have the right to say no or yes. But no one called, and then Myriad sent a statement that the bill was for $8,000+ freaking dollars. I went into the hospital stressed and terrified about this. A few weeks ago they sent a letter to me, which I assumed was the bill, and I've been dreading having to call them and discuss all the obfuscation and misinformation and how I didn't think I could handle it.

But then I got this call, which I assumed was them nagging me to pay, except it was that the letter was actually them asking me permission to pursue this with insurance and signing to allow them that. So I called them back a couple times and finally connected with someone who told me that the insurance company had given them prior approval, which is why they were pursuing the claim. I told them I'd been really childish and avoiding opening the letter because I thought it was the bill, and that I'd signed it and sent it back the day before. Then he said, "Regardless of what happens, you won't have to pay for it." And it felt like a heraldic choir singing behind me and the sun shining through dark clouds. Because this is all scary enough without adding this test, which I never wanted to do anyway, into the mix solely because a bunch of people wouldn't tell the truth. (I keep hearing Will Smith going "Tell de truth! Tell de truth.")

I'm trying to get in the mental space for writing more on the next chapter of Celluloid Hero but it's still like pulling teeth. It's easier to work on the crummy book I'm reading and all the nonsense with that. But I did finally get to some of the backlog of writing related things, like answering an Ask over at my tumblr about how to write action scenes. I think it's funny that people tell me often how visceral and cinematic the action scenes in my fic are, because I find them excruciating to write (sex scenes, too, but someone once told me sex scenes are just action with genitalia, which is hilar). So I put my thinking cap on and tried to come up with a good answer for them; who knows if they'll find it helpful.

rachelmanija has info on a campaign to get the solo ability to declare war out of Assface Drumpf's tiny-fingered vulgarian hands over here, Pull the Football, Save the World.

Does anyone have experience using ko-fi? With all the financial terror that's coming up, I'm considering it, but since I'm not popular I can't imagine it having much use or impact…especially since we can't mention those things on our AO3 pages, which is where most people would access my stuff. If you've used it, do you think it's worthwhile for a person who doesn't have, like, a fan base? It seems most useful to visual artists, I guess...

Comments

[kore]

NONCONSENSUAL CUDDLING, I do this with the fat black cat all the time. I pick him up and he purrs after a bit. He has the best purr.

That is GREAT news abt the insurance! and I'm eager to see what you have to say about action scenes, your works really are cinematic.

She said I'm basically the walking embodiment of why health care is so important, because the tumor was found on just a random, routine colonscopy. The sad part is that next year I probably won't have anything at all.

It amazes me the Republicans et al are all "sanctity of life" (well, not Trumpty) and they're going to kill people. And they don't care. And for no reason, other than "free money up for tax cuts and military spending." I am so glad you had that test.

[gwyn]

I feel hopeless about the future. Everyone keeps telling me that this will spur change, but I don't see it. There are just too many people who benefit from denying people basic health care, and the fucking fascist own everything.

[grammarwoman]

Thank goodness you have them going to bat for you over the insurance bill!

[sperrywink]

Glad you are still on the mend,a nd you are getting some help with the insurance and bills. Our healthcare system is so fucked.

I've donated through ko-fi once or twice to fannish people, but that is it.

[aurumcalendula]

Yay for cuddling and the good news about the insurance!

[rahirah]

Very glad you're not going to be on the hook for that bill, anyway.

[catwalksalone]

Wow, I'm so glad about the genetic bill thing. What a relief!

And yay for kitty cuddles! Although I would argue my tiny girl is more of a treat fiend given she has developed a) the ability to understand the words for each kind of treat she gets, and b) the ability to communicate which kind she wants. Scary! And yet she still regularly falls off stuff so no worries she'll take over the world. :D

[gwyn]

I swear if I go anywhere near the treat cupboard door (not possible, because it's next to the pantry doors), he races out to beg. He knows the word "Greenies" which is the name of the treats he gets most. My other kitty, Olive, had learned the word "milk" and that was her thing: she loved a little cream, or the milk in my bowl after cereal. I always said it like Cute Overload did: meeelks, and she got very excited. I really miss that, pouring her a tiny bowl of meelks.

[ratcreature]

Wow, your hospitals are really expensive. I mean I've never seen what insurance here paid for hospitals for me or my family, but when the high cost of health care and rising insurance premiums are in the news, articles often give examples for costs and I remember seeing not too long ago examples where bypass heart operations with aftercare was mentioned as costing something like thirty thousand Euro, which I thought a lot, but still less than than a third of yours.

[gwyn]

No, it's obscene. Big pharma, big insurance, they all have conspired (and I really mean that, they have colluded) to create a situation where medical care is so bloated by pricing structures that unless you do have insurance, you can't possibly hope to pay for it. It's the primary cause of bankruptcy, and hospitals often have to write off these things because patients can't pay without insurance. The lobbyists and CEOs of corporations line their pockets and take bribes and get huge salaries (this is typical of almost all business in America) with enormous bonuses. It's obscene.

[dariaw]

*hugs* I'm so glad it sounds like your recovery is going reasonably well. Cuddle that cat :)

It's bullshit that you have to pay anything or worry about insurance. I'm glad that 8000+ was cleared up though.

lol on that definition of smut as action with genitals :) good luck with writing!

[gwyn]

Yeah, I'm terrified of that $8,000 coming back at me, of them not honoring that, but I guess I'll cross that bridge when I come to it.

Honestly, when she said that about action with genitals, I laughed so hard. I hate writing both, so now it makes sense!!

[mackiemesser]

I'm impressed that Myriad pursued the insurance payment; that seems beyond what most would do. And I'm really glad they did! (I mean, the bill is still horrible, but at least it's a little less...)

[gwyn]

Yeah, I'm really grateful. Their billing department was probably pretty pissed--they went through with it on Regence's approval. But seriously, it shouldn't cost that much money in the first place. The whole thing is so unconscionable.

[mackiemesser]

True on all counts!