Got some things to do

[gwyn]

Had my "six month" follow-up with the surgeon yesterday which was actually nine months, but who's counting. It sounds like everything is proceeding as it should, but I did find out the stage of the tumor was 1b, which is good but not quite as good as 1a, so that means they will do blood tests more frequently than if it had been 1a, and also the fact that I am younger means they watch more closely than if it had been the same result but I was older. So that was news. I am supposed to get my one-year follow-up colonoscopy soon, but I am not sure what I'm going to do: I was forced to get different insurance this year, and my deductible is now so high that I cannot really afford medical care at all let alone something as pricey as the colonoscopy.

If I was at all popular I might consider signing up for ko-fi or something just for a little help, but I think the only people who can reap the benefits of things like that are popular writers or fan artists. I want to go to the last Vividcon, though, and I really, really don't want to sacrifice that, so I'll have to figure something out. Bleh. Being poor again sucks, for a while I wasn't living hand to mouth and that was so great. I miss it.

I'm trying to work on this vid project but I really shouldn't, I should just accept that I cannot possibly do something this huge by the deadline but…killa's an evil enabler and is giving me some clips, and I've been downloading things I can find on youtube but a lot of what I want isn't there, or I don't know the fandom well enough to know where to find happy huggy teamy clips that would fit for the vid. Sometimes I hate how much of a self-punishing idiot I am.

The artist for my Cap RBB fic still hasn't read the story I wrote. On a good day I feel like crap because of the indifference to my fic but man, that one really stings. I gave her drafts, and then the final, and then posted, but she's never read it, and I don't know if she even will.

I keep thinking of putting together a post of media recently viewed, but then I get lazy. I enjoyed Deadpool 2 but I was also kind of put off by a lot of aspects (especially the two, count 'em two, fridging plot points), enjoyed A Quiet Place but I also thought it was trying way too hard by adding a lot of cheesy and unnecessary jump scares to goose the horror aspect, but I liked the melancholy, sad, grieving nature of the story, something you don't see in horror thrillers much. And I keep wondering if I'm really weird because I actually kinda want to see Tag. What does that say about me? Probably nothing good.

Comments

[sassbandit]

Ugh, that sucks so hard about your caprbb artist :( Especially as she's been active since you posted, it's not like she had an attack of life or illness or whatever :((((( It's just rude.

[gwyn]

Yeah. I'm starting to think that there are a bunch of folks who just really only respond to other people in their little groups, and the rest of us can go hang.

[ratcreature]

The US healthcare system is such a disgrace. I hope you'll figure something out. And just how expensive are colonoscopies in the US anyway? I looked up the prices here if you pay privately, because I thought about getting one earlier than standard insurance here pays as screening test (my mother died of colon cancer so early in her life, but when I talked about this with doctors their opinion on whether that was advisable for me was divided, but all said insurance paying for it was unlikely) and here it cost between 300-450€, depending on details, unless you want anesthesia.

[gwyn]

No argument there. After WWII we made the decision to tie health care to employment, which leaves out everyone not traditionally employed like me, and then the fucking republicans have guaranteed the insurance industry and big pharma the right to inflate prices and fuck everyone over. Because capitalism. A colonoscopy is around 2-,3000 dollars.

[ratcreature]

Wow, that is really expensive. I mean, not quite ten times as much but getting there. O__o

I'm so sorry your politicians think it's okay for health care to be some sort of luxury item and to just let the plebs die early. (I mean, here the poor also die earlier than the rich, but the mechanisms aren't quite as blatant...)

[kass]

I'm glad the follow up with the surgeon was ok and I'm glad it sounds like things are proceeding as expected on that front. I send love.

[bond_girl]

For some reason, I thought colonoscopy is a free procedure now? Do you have to be a certain age, maybe, idk. In any case, good news about things proceeding as they should!

[gwyn]

Nah. It's a really important screening procedure so therefore tons of money is to be made off it, and that's all anyone cares about in this country. The surgeon suggested checking to see if they'd cover it as a screening test since I had cancer, but if they find polyps then it would be considered diagnostic, and would be included in the deductible, so I'd have to pay the 2-3k out of pocket. This is a perfect example of the bullshit we deal with here. I wish so much I could move out of this godforsaken country.

[mackiemesser]

I'm glad to hear that the follow up had good results. And am frustrated on your behalf about the insurance change. The whole system is so infuriating!

I feel like a lot of media doesn't have too many happy team triumph moments; it doesn't get critical acclaim so it doesn't end up in the film, you know? You usually end up with some kind of half-smile, noble stare into the distance. I keep thinking that you get the happy group activity/dance party/singing into a hairbrush thing more often...

It's the artist's loss. You still wrote a great story. So there.

Tag seems like it could be lots of dumb fun. I firmly believe that dumb fun movies are crucial!

[gwyn]

Yeah, I'm just…not sure I'm going to be able to accumulate the stuff I need for this thing anytime soon. Happy is in short supply in some of the media I want the most.

[mackiemesser]

There was definitely something to be said for the end of the episode laugh on original Star Trek...

[spikedluv]

The artist for my Cap RBB fic still hasn't read the story I wrote.

This sort of thing irks me. It's so rude. As was mentioned above, she's missing out on a good fic.

(The same thing has happened to me. I was so spoiled last year with my artist, and this year, even though he offered to cheerlead, it was luke warm at best so I stopped sending updates. And as with you, he never read the final draft (or told me he did), and no comment after it was posted. It's a real turn off. I dropped out of sterkreversebang before claims because I had too much going on, but ngl, the fact that my artist from last year ~still hasn't read/commented on my story (even though I flailed all over her art) made it easier.)

I'm glad you've gotten good news on your follow-up visit. I just looked up the cost of a colonoscopy and yikes! Damn insurance in this country.

[gwyn]

Wait, so you haven't heard from your artist either? This really stinks. I feel like if you're not part of these artists' little clique or something, they don't have the time of day for you. Like they think they're going to get writers they already know and hang out with and the rest of us are just some big disappointment to them.

[spikedluv]

No, I have not. I didn't even get the story banner until very late (my time) on our posting date, so I added it the following day.

Maybe that's it. I'm definitely not a well-known name in the fandom. (This is only my second long story; the first being for last round.)

It's very discouraging when you get the sense that your artist is really not into the story you're creating. I'd care less if this idea had stayed a 5,000 word meet-cute, but once you hit 20,000+ words, come on. You really can't think of one nice thing to say? Arrgh!

I'm using my Steve icon in which he is full of righteous indignation on our behalf. *g*

ETA: Oh, and I meant to say, HE FOLLOWED ME ON TUMBLR! I was like, buddy, really?!!

[gwyn]

Mine followed me on tumblr too. Ha ha ha fucking hell. Which makes it even harder to whine about.

Yeah, I mean, the artist seemed so enthused, to the point where she worked my idea into her final art. So you'd think she'd want to read it.

[spikedluv]

I'm still shaking my head over the follow. It's like, why would you follow me when you didn't seem to care for my story? It's boggling.

Wow, that makes it doubly weird.

[jb_slasher]

I'm not at all sure how ko-fi works but I'd support the idea. It's only a few bucks so the threshold for donating is really low, and you could have the link on your profile or even make a sticky post in case someone who likes you or your work would like to donate, or just stick the link at the bottom of your posts. I can't make promises that people would donate but I think it's a good idea and worth a shot.

[dorinda]

US health care succccckkkkkkkks. *giant hugs* I'm glad to hear the tumor was a low stage, though! The less it got involved with the rest of you, the better.