somniloquence

So I asked my dad a few minutes ago if he would please kill me and put me out of my misery, and he declined. Parents never do what you want them to. They suck.

I just really hate my life and myself so much now I could scream, or lock myself in a corner of a dark room and mutter insanely, like Angel in the icon.

A while ago, feochadn discovered $5 matinees early in the morning at a local theatre, of first-run movies. I was really hot to see the new Star Trek movie (really, Karl Urban as McCoy -- my life would be complete), so we arranged to go even though it was at a time I am usually just getting up on a Sunday. I had a hard time getting up as usual, too, since I had guests last night, and I ran out of the house to get cash and head up there, only to get stuck behind a guy doing all his banking apparently, and I waited almost ten minutes for that. Then the ATM wouldn't let me have any money, because I was overdrawn, even though i'd moved money into checking. This is the third time in the past couple weeks this has happened, and I had carefully planned out the money, but I guess it's the whole me + numbers = unmixy thing, because I still end up overdrawn. As a fraidy-cat who can't stand not having hundreds in my checking account just in case, this always puts the fear of god in me.

So that took an extra five minutes, then I raced off, only to get stuck behind the Sunday Morning Going to Church at 20 MPH crowd, completely pinned in for miles going 10 under the limit. By the time I could finally break free, I was nearly there, about ten minutes after showtime. ANd instead of slowing down, remembering the adage of my subject line, I sped into the parking lot and swung into a parking space and kapow. The Beetle is a very low slung car. I always forget this. And I smashed the left front bumper undercarriage into the curb, completely peeling away the skirt protecting the wheel and all the gizmos there (not to mention doing a number on my bumper). I just psuhed it back sort of in place and went to the movie, muttering darkly. mlyn and feochadn there-there'd me and Jo promised to look at it after the movie.

We spent a few minutes trying to push the skirt back on in some way, and then I noticed that there was a large bulge in the tire. So Jo mentioned a Firestone place a little bit away that was open on Sundays and after $300+ I left, my whole day blown, because they also had to adjust the alignment which got pretty blown by hitting the curb so hard (on top of the damage I regularly get by driving in one of the worst parts of the city -- I guess West Seattle got ranked a few years ago as having the most damaged streets per area in city limits. Go us). I thought they attached the skirt, but they didn't, as I discovered when, driving as slowly as I could, it flew off under the car and I drove over most of it. All the way home, I heard this scraping sound but there was no wobble in the wheel or pull to indicate I'd lost one of the tires. People were flipping me off, screaming at me, etc., so I figured whatever damage there was must not have been visible and all people saw was this person driving slightly under the speed limit (WTF?) so they felt they could harrass me with impunity.

I was just starting to feel like maybe I could get a handle on the future and the bills and all that. I so didn't need this, and it's totally my fault. I got up late, and first broke a glass, then accidentally hurled cat kibbles everywhere, and so on, and instead of just taking a breath and being okay with missing the overblown, bombastic previews that I've mostly seen before anyway, I made haste and totally made waste of my budget and my sanity. I really hate myself and my life sometimes.

If I had any money, I'd go up to the new, cool bar near my place and drink some more of their awesomely awesome drinks (seriously, if I had a regular income, I would be in trouble). But for now I will just try to forget all this until tomorrow when I have to see if I can get that bunched up piece of the skirt fixed and replace the rest of it, and bask in the movie ( Because I would never have believed it, but the movie was AWESOME )

sekrit to killabeez: That relationship you were worried about? It's actually pretty cool, I think, and is definitely there in the movie