Chapter update: Don't Wait Up for Me

[gwyn]

Don’t Wait Up for Me (14591 words) by gwyneth rhys
Chapter 2: If We Knew You Were Coming, We'd Have Baked a Cake
Fandom: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers, James "Bucky" Barnes & Sam Wilson
Characters: James "Bucky" Barnes, Steve Rogers, Sam Wilson, Natasha Romanov
Additional Tags: Closure, Soul-Searching, Friendship, Forget Your Past, Action/Adventure
Summary:

“This was the last place where I knew who Bucky Barnes was. No matter how many times they stuffed the soldier inside me, or tried to rip the old Bucky out, a little bit of him still hung on inside, you know? I just need to see that place where it all changed.”

Comments

[kore]

BELLA

//jets on over

As they settled into their sleeping bags—Christ, what a luxury nylon and down were compared to what they’d had during the war, what he’d had as the Asset—it sounded, based on Sam’s breathing patterns and heart rate, like he wasn’t falling asleep any easier than Bucky was. A dread anticipation settled, clammy in his chest, of being asked if anything was wrong, a question he’d mostly broken Steve of asking but that was a perennial favorite of everyone else’s. The darkness made everything feel even closer, tighter than it already was, the two of them nearly on top of each other.

YOU ARE THE WIND BENEATH MY MOTHERFUCKING WINGS.


OMG I can't kudos it again because I already kudosed the first chapter! Is that how it works on AO3? Boo! I want to leave more!

[kore]

Well, I read the whole thing (read it twice actually, I am creepily so overinvested in this already), and I just love it. It started off great and it just gets better. Steve and Nat dressing up! Nat telling Steve to leave Bucky alone! Sam thinking, history is full of LYING LIARS, Bucky is just as NUTS as Steve, Steve mocking his own self-pity and bitterness, they're all so great and it's just snapping into place. And Bucky. Oh, my heart. He is so broken and angry and determined and wants to do it all on his own. The writing style is great, it's funny, it's heartbreaking, and do I see little hints of chemistry here and there with various people? It's awesome. Seriously, let me know anything I could do to help you keep motivated to keep on writing this, especially since the more spoilers I hear about Civil War, the more I feel it's gonna break my heart and really not be my thing. I would bake you cookies if I could bake anything. Waffles? http://www.jcpenney.com/captain-america-shield-waffle-maker/prod.jump?ppId=pp5006170496 (sadly I would probably burn waffles)

And I can't quote favourite parts because that would be THE WHOLE THING but the FLASHBACK SCENES OF THE REUNION OH MY HEART, and secondly, Steve thinking

The party had that peculiar effect of reminding him what a curious relic he was—and Bucky now, too, their exclusive little club. It bemused him, each time he considered what had traveled down through history, the specific things people chose to hold on to as representative of the past. Aspects of his life that were...commodities, now, for people’s ersatz nostalgia. Some of the attendees had done their homework and didn’t look like they’d picked up a faux Depression-era outfit at the nearest costume shop where all the details were just this side of inauthentic, but others bore witness to the surface understanding and quaint, clichéd concepts of how people looked back then—and apparently no one seemed to understand that not everyone who’d lived during the ’20s was a flapper or a gangster. How little he fit this world, his tiny club within a club of people old enough to remember that time and young enough to be able to chew their own food and walk on their own power.

That was gorgeous. And then Nat slinking up to him, his own personal bombshell, and asking him if he was pouting was just magical. (Clint and "canoodling" is the icing on the fucking cake.) But that just really gets at Steve's alienation in this bone-deep way I don't see in a lot of fic, where he kind of adjusts nicely to the internet and watches modern movies and maybe talks about food back then etc. etc. It was just great.

(sorry for babbling, will stop now!)

[gwyn]

Please don't apologize for saying anything--you're not babbling. You're literally the ONLY PERSON who's talking to me about it. You know how you read those WIPs where the person gets hundreds of comments as they go along, reacting to the chapters? This is the exact opposite. I mean, I know a lot of people won't read WIPs, whatever. But this is kind of a whole new level--and it's hard not to see that as a statement about quality. I thought it was a kind of different idea, something different from the standard Steve/Bucky recovery story, but...

But I'm glad you're reading, and it's nice to know that there's someone out there to finish it for. I'm glad the flashback scenes worked; there are a few more (it's not a long WIP, I think it'll only be four chapters), but they're not separated the whole time, either.

[kore]

Please don't apologize for saying anything--you're not babbling. You're literally the ONLY PERSON who's talking to me about it.

I will be HAPPY to continue talking about it, this story is JUST MY JAM and I love your writing and it's already so good. I love all the interpersonal dynamics, and the emotions, and the plotting. Just the whole thing.

I thought it was a kind of different idea, something different from the standard Steve/Bucky recovery story, but...

I think so! For one thing Bucky is COMPETENT, I mean, obviously traumatized and suffering but also his badass supercomptent self, and Steve's not the perfect flawless boyfriend (I honestly love Steve mocking his own hypervigilance over Bucky and Nat calling him on it) and a lot of Stucky recovery fic, while intense, is also centered only on Steve and Bucky in their apartment, and while some writers can write them well together sometimes when they try to bring the rest of the crew in, the writing suffers. But you do the whole crew so well, and their actual relationships together, that's honestly different.

And I personally love the idea of Bucky saying, no Steve, I love you, but I have to do this for me, and I can't carry your grief and anger and horror along with mine on this, I have to focus on my own feelings to work through them. THAT is rare in any Stucky recovery fic, honestly, or at least I think so. (That's also fucking emotionally healthy, you ask me.) And Steve being loving enough to actually let him go (albeit with Sam) (and still trying to keep track of him, oh Steve, ILU) is also a big thing. I mean, it sounds like they might join up at some later date (maybe Steve will come to help?) from what you've said, but I just really like that setup.

I'm glad the flashback scenes worked

well if you mean WERE HEARTBREAKING, oh yes they worked

there are a few more (it's not a long WIP, I think it'll only be four chapters), but they're not separated the whole time, either.

DO STEVE AND NAT (AND MAYBE TONY) NEED TO COME IN TO HELP AT ONE POINT
THAT WOULD BE GREAT (but if it's not what you have planned, I will love the fic anyway)

....because frankly it seems like Bucky miiiight be out of his depth here anyway, even with Sam along, and that's not to say he made the wrong decision, just, JESUS, Buck, talk about Steve wanting to fight off whole armies....because, I mean

“You just said it was a bad idea to fly a helo in this canyon.” His voice sounded strained and high even to his own ears.
“It’d be a bad idea for them,” and his grin was so cheeky Sam wanted to cry. He’d had no idea, no idea at all: Barnes was every bit as terrible as Steve, he’d totally been lying about how he’d spent half his life chasing around after Steve the way you’d chase a dog that had slipped its leash and loved to go after cars. Neither one of them had the sense god gave a turnip.
“All right,” Sam said, hopelessly, because this was a terrible plan and they were doomed.

Can I just say how much I love that? Sam going HOW AM I THIS MIXED UP WITH THIS MUCH CRAZY, and I love the idea there was that matching recklessness in Bucky that is so out of control here, it's great.

[gwyn]

There was this one story I read a long time ago and it upset me so much, I couldn't get over it for a long time, because Bucky was staying with Steve but then decided to leave because he wasn't getting better. And Steve was destroyed. And it had been recced as sad but not without hope, only it was totally without hope--he leaves and isn't keeping in touch. So Bucky here is definitely doing what he needs to to get better, but I can't handle it not having them still need each other, too, you know?

They will join up toward the end. I just love them fighting together, I'm weak, I have to have that. But yes, some mistakes are made, definitely. Poor Sam.

I love the action adventure stuff, it's hard as hell to write and get them out in the world and doing stuff, but I love the result in the end. I think that has often been my favorite achievement in my fic, that they are in the world in a way a lot of fic isn't, but on the other hand, those fics are popular, so...maybe I shouldn't be proud. O.o

But I also have more reunion flashbacking, including, since I think we share these kinks, hair washing and shaving. :-D

[kore]

Bucky was staying with Steve but then decided to leave because he wasn't getting better. And Steve was destroyed

AUGH

They will join up toward the end. I just love them fighting together, I'm weak, I have to have that.

That is not weak, that is just what they do! Shit, I'm so bad I would probably have Bucky go "I had them on the ropes!"

But yes, some mistakes are made, definitely. Poor Sam.

And in the background poor Sam would be going, YOU FUCKING LIAR. STEVE, YOU LIED TO ME. THIS GUY IS JUST AS NUTCAKES AS YOU ARE.

I love the action adventure stuff, it's hard as hell to write and get them out in the world and doing stuff, but I love the result in the end. I think that has often been my favorite achievement in my fic, that they are in the world in a way a lot of fic isn't, but on the other hand, those fics are popular, so...maybe I shouldn't be proud. O.o

OMG, I think you should be! It's very hard to write (I can't do it myself), and I love fics that show them out in the world, too, and hell, popularity certainly isn't everything. Fifty Shades of Gray is popular, God knows.

But I also have more reunion flashbacking, including, since I think we share these kinks, hair washing and shaving. :-D

YOU ARE MY FAVOURITE

//creepy comments intensify

[gwyn]

They are so not creepy comments. Seriously, this thing is the least-read thing I think I've ever done in this pairing, it's kind of mind-blowing. And I know that there are plenty of people who do read WIps, just, apparently, not mine. So the fact that you've taken an interest in it makes me all kinds of squishy inside.

I

[kore]

Also, that goddamn trailer depressed me (which makes me feel like a dumbass, but it's true....there's just almost nothing I want to see in it, and unlike the rest of the fandom apparently, I don't care about Spiderman) but it was released on Bucky's birthday, and Stan was doing a chat on Buzzfeed or something? and anyway this picture made me actually laugh: http://sebastian-stan.com/imgs/displayimage.php?album=387&pid=14558#top_display_media

[kore]

Also also, while I was going through AO3 trying to figure out how to tag some of the older stuff from my DW I put up there (Clint post-Avengers and then the dinner thing with Clint, Nat, Steve and Bucky), I ran across some tags that might help people find this fic if you wanted to use them --


Post-Captain America: The Winter Soldier

Captain America: The Winter Soldier Compliant

Canon Divergence - Post-Captain America: The Winter Soldier

I still have a lot of trouble trying to just find stuff on AO3, since their search seems borked, hits/kudos turns up mostly crap and the tags are perpetually messed up, but that might help? I just thought if other people, like me, are looking for canon post-TWS stuff that doesn't go into the AoU or CW mess, this might help them find your fic.

[gwyn]

Yeah, I'd thought about that briefly--I kind of wanted to declutter the tags a little, I feel lately like my tags are so voluminous and I see all these people just using bare bones tags, but they are also hugely popular so people are gonna read their fic regardless of tags, I don't know. I put post-WS on it, I can't see it changing anything, because the hits are so low that I think a lot of people will back out sight unseen due to that. I mean, that's not how I judge fic to read, but apparently many more people do, so I doubt tags are gonna help that.

::glomps you::

Thank you for trying to help me figure out ways to get this out there.

[mackiemesser.livejournal.com]

Yep, I was right: shenanigans in Austria.

As far as Bulgaria goes, I'll borrow from another universe: I have a bad feeling about this...

[gwyn-r.livejournal.com]

And shenanigans in Bulgaria are coming, too! They will definitely get tested, for sure. Thank you for reading, I appreciate knowing there are at least a couple people reading.

[mackiemesser.livejournal.com]

The key question is: are these going to be shenanigans or will they tip over the edge right into tomfoolery?

(I'm sorry, they're just really fun words to say/type...)

Dude, I am here for Steve/Bucky 5ver, you know?

[gwyn-r.livejournal.com]

Shenanigans, tomfoolery, AND hijinks!

Some of my favorite words. :-D

[mackiemesser.livejournal.com]

Will the hijinks be wacky? I hope that they're wacky...