The velocity of randomness
Apr. 6th, 2003 12:19 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
gwynMy mind has been racing with random thoughts about nothing and everything. I realized that I never wrote a review of Inside Out on Angel this week, which I suppose is no big deal, but my evil supervisor is watching me like a hawk now so I don't get the chance to goof off that way anymore. I even had a Spike dream the other night, which was insanely XXX-rated and then became some kind of vampire round-up where the police or some quasi-police organization was rounding up vampires for prison or execution, among them poor Spikey.
Stuff that is making me go hmmmm and just randomly spinning around in my head:
1. What will Faith and Willow talk about on the drive back to Sunny-D? It's not like they parted company as friends. As with so much of this season, Will's reaction to Faith at Angel's place happened off screen. What did she think?
2. Would Giles be able to restart the Council? And maybe make it a better place (i.e., no torturous experiments on slayers when they turn 18, etc.) assuming they even have slayers, which considering what the big eyeball head said, maybe they won't?
3. What is the mature girl way to behave if you end up realizing that you probably like someone and want them to be your friend more than they do you? I find it easy to cut most people out of my life when I don't like them, but what do you do when you probably enjoy someone's company more than they enjoy yours? I never had enough female friends in my life before to know how to handle it, and men are so different, and much easier to understand, for me. Lately I'm feeling torn between pouting and moving on, or petty, pouty hatred.
4. I got my new desk yesterday from Ikea, and![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
feochadn helped me put it together (because I am a spatial relationship moron, and cannot follow instructions). It's very large and very industrial looking, and I needed more desk space for reference manuals and things for this freelancing biz I want to get into eventually. Now the chair I was using is too short, and I look like a kid at the big person's table. I don't think there's any way to get a keyboard tray on this thing. Possibly this was a stupid idea. And moving my old desk out, I found peeling paint, rotting drywall, and mold over the lathe and plaster that was still remaining. The cretinous halfwits who had this house at one point modified the window in this room, and two years ago I had to replace the entire south wall of my house because they'd done such a piss-poor job that water had been getting into it for decades and the wall was riddled with rot, carpenter ants, wood-boring beetles, the like. We had to patch the inside of the wall, and now right next to it, there's more damage, and worse damage, than we'd seen before. In the past five years, I have had to replace the south wall, peel down to bare wall and repaint all of the siding there, replace my roof, replace part of the sewer line, replace the entire sewer line, have Roto-Rooter come out on average of twice a year and spent over $1,000 on them, and fix at least a hundred other things, including holes in the walls, the leaking faucet, the floor, etc. I know having a house is a good thing, but sometimes, I hate it so much I could cry.
5. With fewer and fewer dramas being given half a chance, I doubt we'll ever have another show like Buffy on the air. I realize that's cynical, but I feel like TV is being turned into a wasteland of reality and crappy news shows. One of the things I love about many of the shows I'm hooked on is the music -- I've discovered some exceptional music from La Femme Nikita, Buffy, Gilmore Girls, Birds of Prey, etc. WB is cool in that they often identify the musicians after the show, but even series on networks that don't do this have given me some great new places to go for music. I hate the fact that all the good shows are being killed in their infancy, but I really hate losing out on the music, too.
6. What is this "my fandom is... " thing that's going around everywhere? I realize I'm largely a clueless moron about most things, but I seem to have missed this wave and am seeing these icons everywhere.
7. Is there even the slightest interest in a story that is told from Willow's point of view about Buffy and Spike's changes this season? I'm not even sure this is worth working on anymore -- there seems to be so much dislike of Willow. I find her voice easy to write, but... I'm not trying to be coy or fishing, I just wonder if people would even have the slightest interest in something like that.
8. Why does it seem like everybody's so rude? How can people go through life without realizing that favors deserve a thank-you, that a little kindness goes a long way, that doing unto others is the only way they'll want to keep doing unto you, etc.? It must just be that I come from a different era, but I'm constantly baffled by the level of thoughtlessness I encounter from people on a daily basis.
9. I hate dalylight savings time. I can't handle the spring forward, and end up feeling like something Emma dragged in from the back yard for at least two days. I'm an insomniac on the best of days, and then losing what little sleep I get, always in the 5-6 a.m. time, annoys me. OTOH, the bus lights being out won't be a problem when I try to read on the commute home at night.
And five million other things, but that'll do for boring people now, I guess.
Stuff that is making me go hmmmm and just randomly spinning around in my head:
1. What will Faith and Willow talk about on the drive back to Sunny-D? It's not like they parted company as friends. As with so much of this season, Will's reaction to Faith at Angel's place happened off screen. What did she think?
2. Would Giles be able to restart the Council? And maybe make it a better place (i.e., no torturous experiments on slayers when they turn 18, etc.) assuming they even have slayers, which considering what the big eyeball head said, maybe they won't?
3. What is the mature girl way to behave if you end up realizing that you probably like someone and want them to be your friend more than they do you? I find it easy to cut most people out of my life when I don't like them, but what do you do when you probably enjoy someone's company more than they enjoy yours? I never had enough female friends in my life before to know how to handle it, and men are so different, and much easier to understand, for me. Lately I'm feeling torn between pouting and moving on, or petty, pouty hatred.
4. I got my new desk yesterday from Ikea, and
feochadn helped me put it together (because I am a spatial relationship moron, and cannot follow instructions). It's very large and very industrial looking, and I needed more desk space for reference manuals and things for this freelancing biz I want to get into eventually. Now the chair I was using is too short, and I look like a kid at the big person's table. I don't think there's any way to get a keyboard tray on this thing. Possibly this was a stupid idea. And moving my old desk out, I found peeling paint, rotting drywall, and mold over the lathe and plaster that was still remaining. The cretinous halfwits who had this house at one point modified the window in this room, and two years ago I had to replace the entire south wall of my house because they'd done such a piss-poor job that water had been getting into it for decades and the wall was riddled with rot, carpenter ants, wood-boring beetles, the like. We had to patch the inside of the wall, and now right next to it, there's more damage, and worse damage, than we'd seen before. In the past five years, I have had to replace the south wall, peel down to bare wall and repaint all of the siding there, replace my roof, replace part of the sewer line, replace the entire sewer line, have Roto-Rooter come out on average of twice a year and spent over $1,000 on them, and fix at least a hundred other things, including holes in the walls, the leaking faucet, the floor, etc. I know having a house is a good thing, but sometimes, I hate it so much I could cry.5. With fewer and fewer dramas being given half a chance, I doubt we'll ever have another show like Buffy on the air. I realize that's cynical, but I feel like TV is being turned into a wasteland of reality and crappy news shows. One of the things I love about many of the shows I'm hooked on is the music -- I've discovered some exceptional music from La Femme Nikita, Buffy, Gilmore Girls, Birds of Prey, etc. WB is cool in that they often identify the musicians after the show, but even series on networks that don't do this have given me some great new places to go for music. I hate the fact that all the good shows are being killed in their infancy, but I really hate losing out on the music, too.
6. What is this "my fandom is... " thing that's going around everywhere? I realize I'm largely a clueless moron about most things, but I seem to have missed this wave and am seeing these icons everywhere.
7. Is there even the slightest interest in a story that is told from Willow's point of view about Buffy and Spike's changes this season? I'm not even sure this is worth working on anymore -- there seems to be so much dislike of Willow. I find her voice easy to write, but... I'm not trying to be coy or fishing, I just wonder if people would even have the slightest interest in something like that.
8. Why does it seem like everybody's so rude? How can people go through life without realizing that favors deserve a thank-you, that a little kindness goes a long way, that doing unto others is the only way they'll want to keep doing unto you, etc.? It must just be that I come from a different era, but I'm constantly baffled by the level of thoughtlessness I encounter from people on a daily basis.
9. I hate dalylight savings time. I can't handle the spring forward, and end up feeling like something Emma dragged in from the back yard for at least two days. I'm an insomniac on the best of days, and then losing what little sleep I get, always in the 5-6 a.m. time, annoys me. OTOH, the bus lights being out won't be a problem when I try to read on the commute home at night.
And five million other things, but that'll do for boring people now, I guess.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2003-04-06 01:42 pm (UTC)6. What is this "my fandom is... " thing that's going around everywhere? I realize I'm largely a clueless moron about most things, but I seem to have missed this wave and am seeing these icons everywhere.
I think it started in the LOTR fandom and spread to other fandoms. Just a cute way to highlight what's unique about each fandom, I guess.
And, yeah, DST must die ...
no subject
Date: 2003-04-06 03:13 pm (UTC)I'd love to see it. I think Willow has a lot to say about the nature of relationships where power and powerlessness and control are concerned.
no subject
Date: 2003-04-06 04:06 pm (UTC)I'd love to see this written well in fanfic. For a long time, Faith was all but Willow's nemesis, and though maybe there's a bit of the "can't throw stones" to her mellowness with Faith now, after trying to end the world and all, Willow must still have big feelings about bring Faith back into the mix.
And I'd be interested in a Willow POV about Buffy and Spike. I'm not much for Willow in fanfiction but I like how you write her.
Brainshare
Date: 2003-04-06 04:08 pm (UTC)Re: #3 I think that when dealing with friends, male or female, communication is essential. Trying to find out if the cooling in the friendship is something that is temporary or part of an overall shift in the relationship. Or if this is a new friendship, try to understand how this person feels about you. A reality check. I found that usually its hard to sustain an ongoing friendship unless both sides are moving in the same direction – either closer or further apart.
Some people do not respond well to any type of direct communication – in which case, I’d look at their actions: if you used to get together every few weeks but no longer do so, or if you used to loan each other books or CDs and she no longer asks etc. Whatever the benchmark of how your friendship used to be, try to apply it. Or, if this a a new friendship, whatever the benchmark of your view of friendship.
The last step is to then decide if you will be happy with an altered friendship (or a mismatched friendship) – if this person only wants to see you every few months at a social gathering, how is that really friendship? If that’s not when you want/need, then move on. If the person can handle direct communication, then I’d try giving them a heads up before shutting the door. But again, it depends on the person and how open they are to communication. A cynical part of me says that if friends were good at communicating or talking about their lives in the first place, they would not "lose friends” but simply change the nature of the friendship as they both work the issue together. So in the end, I'd say that if someone wants me out of their life, I am not going to wait for the door to hit me on my ass on my way out.
Re: # 8 As to why cannot people offer some kindness to each other – wow, that’s one we all have been wrestling with for years. I still think we are so locked into our own worlds and lives that we rarely can see or understand what impact we have on others.
My saddest story, was the day I was on a flight and the man next to me reeked of beer and vomit. I asked the stewardess for another seat but they were full. I kept glaring at him while also trying to ignore him. He started crying and I found out he was flying home after his 6-year-old son’s funeral. He showed me his son’s pictures and we talked during the flight.
In the end, I think that most of us are like little moles grubbing away at our tunnels, barely aware of each other. But sometimes, we feel the heat of the sun, remember to look up and see each other in the light.
Re: Brainshare
Date: 2003-04-06 05:53 pm (UTC)Plus, I'm spending the day reading for a developmental edit freelance project the most horrific manuscript. It's just agonizing, and makes me feel incredibly isolated.
Re: Brainshare
Date: 2003-04-06 06:24 pm (UTC)Same thing is true with people on LJ's -- even if you share the same interest, unless you know them personally, they are more content to post in their LJ rather than participate. But I now know to treasure the exceptions to this rule. I appreciate when a friend invites me to her house, serves me tea and shows me her recent artwork.
I am now broadening, if not deepening my friend base -- I've started attending poetry and writing salons. Last year, I volunteered to judge for the Yaicon vid show (even if I know every little about the genre). And I think in the end, I'll keep myself busy and happy and productive.
But the fact is, as S tells me, "if you keep losing friends at this rate, you’ll end up sitting in a rocking chair with me and 3 cats and lots of books."
And on some days I think -- is that so bad?