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gwynI feel so guilty -- I haven't checked my user info page in a while and there's all these people I haven't friended, and found I'd been defriended a bit as well. I feel so boring and stupid -- I rarely have anything to say, which is why I didn't do a personal page but more focused on reviews for the main part, only there's little to review lately. I need to go in and manage my list, but I never seem to get around to it.
Someone brought up at a get-together this weekend the fact that life on LJ would be simpler if they had called it "gentle reader" and I can't help but agree. The term friend is so fraught, and now I'm thinking that rather than pruning their lists, the defriending of late has a more censorious nature because I'm boring or stupid or annoying or whatever. Paranoia, thy name is Gwyneth. But I've always been like this; furtively looking over my shoulder to see who's coming at me with a knife. So when I prune or add, which I need to get off my fat lazy ass and do, will I induce paranoia in others? It's a minefield!
And I lead such a dull, tedious, and boring life, it wouldn't be worth turning it more personal. I haven't any cool life-changing plans, dramatic angst, or interesting relationships to share. It must be summer ennui. All I do is work, write, vid, and watch stuff. I've been getting into Horatio Hornblower a bit, but nothing's made me jump fannishly. I admire all the people on my friends page who are pursuing commercial fiction, wishing I had their confidence and energy because I talk myself out of pursuing my own real life writing on a daily basis. So cool to see others doing it, and I hope, at some point, maybe inspiring too.
Now I have to go furtively prune and add to my list, looking over my shoulder. Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they're not out to get you.
Someone brought up at a get-together this weekend the fact that life on LJ would be simpler if they had called it "gentle reader" and I can't help but agree. The term friend is so fraught, and now I'm thinking that rather than pruning their lists, the defriending of late has a more censorious nature because I'm boring or stupid or annoying or whatever. Paranoia, thy name is Gwyneth. But I've always been like this; furtively looking over my shoulder to see who's coming at me with a knife. So when I prune or add, which I need to get off my fat lazy ass and do, will I induce paranoia in others? It's a minefield!
And I lead such a dull, tedious, and boring life, it wouldn't be worth turning it more personal. I haven't any cool life-changing plans, dramatic angst, or interesting relationships to share. It must be summer ennui. All I do is work, write, vid, and watch stuff. I've been getting into Horatio Hornblower a bit, but nothing's made me jump fannishly. I admire all the people on my friends page who are pursuing commercial fiction, wishing I had their confidence and energy because I talk myself out of pursuing my own real life writing on a daily basis. So cool to see others doing it, and I hope, at some point, maybe inspiring too.
Now I have to go furtively prune and add to my list, looking over my shoulder. Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they're not out to get you.
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no subject
Date: 2003-07-09 11:14 pm (UTC)I sometimes get a little paranoid about my journal, as well. I think most people do, because it's an odd situation. I mean, it's your journal, so you should write what you want without worrying about whether anyone's judging the content, yet it's out there for public perusal and by extension, public judgment.
It's a bit trippy, and I find it sometimes brings out a kind of weirdness in me reminiscent of my high school days.
no subject
Date: 2003-07-11 11:57 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-07-11 02:37 pm (UTC)No problem - I know what that's like, lol!