In praise of Queer Eye
Jul. 31st, 2003 02:02 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
gwynOver on an e-mail list I’m on, we’ve been discussing why we like Queer Eye for the Straight Guy so much, and a couple people have echoed my thoughts about the tone of the show. (Some have also echoed my thoughts about marrying Ted, and I just have to shake my head at their delusions, especially poor, poor D, who actually thinks she has beaten us to it. How sad that these people can’t see the halo of happiness over my head, knowing that Ted will soon become my platonic gay husband and take care of me and feed me chocolates from La Maison du Chocolat, and make sure I don’t have any untoward liquor stashed around my kitchen.)
I thought that, based on Bravo’s excellent job with QE, I might try Boy Meets Boy, but I lasted a grand 2 min before turning it off. Reality TV is loathsome to me. There is nothing about it that I find in any way appealing — the biggest reason being that it is predicated on watching incredibly stupid people who are desperate for attention do anything to get it, behaving even more cretinously in the process, and frankly, I spend enough time around people like that every damn day at work. Why go home and watch that as “entertainment”? My other reasons for hating reality shows are hidden inside that — I don’t find people humiliating themselves and whoring themselves at all appealing, especially when they’re doing it for some fake version of “romance” or for money; I don’t like most people in general (although for a misanthrope, I’m pretty social) and am so not interested in the depths they’re willing to sink for those goals; and most of all, I want to get lost in another world that’s carefully crafted, not the haphazardly scripted version of “reality” these shows engage in. Anyone who thinks these things aren’t scripted is too naïve to live.
What’s best about QE, and its precursors of Fashion Emergency on E! and shows like Trading Spaces or Changing Rooms, etc., and the old standard fashion news and lifestyle shows like Style with Elsa Klensch on CNN, is that they’re predicated on showing people positive ways to make changes, to people who want to make those changes. It’s not idiotic strangers whoring themselves for money or status, it’s just people who know they may need a change for whatever reason, and take the chance of doing it on television. I’m sure many want to be on TV, but that seems to take second place so far on QE. I loved the first season of The Osbournes, but as it became more and more about them creating their life for the camera, I got less and less interested, and haven’t watched the subsequent episodes. I find that sort of fakey scripting to be far less engaging than a character-driven drama, and I usually much prefer the interesting dramatically rendered character, even if they have faults, over some numbskull who’d eat a horse rectum just for money in a carefully orchestrated “showdown” gross-out match with her rival.
Even as the Fab 5 mock and tease their straight charges mercilessly (and again, no woman could withstand the often hilarious hazing they give these guys), they clearly care about them, want to find out what they’re all about, and make whatever changes suggested really work for the guy. Carson said, “We’re not here to change you; we’re here to make you better.” And while that may sound facetious and cutting, he’s right, and I thought it was a fairly astute statement: the QE guys are giving something to someone who’s said he needs advice and help, and wants to achieve some kind of goal. They’re showing him how to make it all come together, how to be better, without losing sight of what he’s really like underneath. In this week’s ep, they recognized John’s country boy appeal and his needs, and they worked with it. They may tease and demand, but they never do it with anything less than interest in their subject.
At first I thought the ending sequence, where they watch their little fledgling fly, was going to be painful for me with my humiliation squick, but I love seeing the guys and their pride in watching their subjects try to put it all together. From the simple things, like Kyan’s glee at John putting on more hand lotion to Carson’s happiness over Butch wearing loafers with no socks to Ted’s realization that they put too much on the guy’s shoulders, to the more complex things (the way they react to the other people’s reactions, especially), this sequence is funny and painful and joyous all at the same time. And again, it’s positive — while they may critique and react in horror to some things, it’s really clear that they’re proud of what they’ve done and thrilled to contribute to someone else’s change. When John started to choke up this week over everything they’d done for him, I started to, as well, because it was so cool to see the connection they’d made.
And that gets to what I really love about this show most. Admittedly it’s a small thing, but a show that offers straight men interacting with a whole posse of gay guys, getting petted and fondled (Carson has such wandering hands!) and stroked and gazed at in his underwear, would be impossible to imagine even less than a year ago. This is a world where the straight men are not reacting in a threatened way, are not shying fearfully from contact, assuming it’ll taint their masculinity, who aren’t overreacting to an image they construe to be “fagotty.” They let go of all that crap, they connect to the Fab 5 and show interest, they don’t make a judgment. Thom especially seems to have a great gift for both skewering the straight men’s surroundings and offering them a style they can immediately embrace and understand; it’s fascinating to watch their reactions as their little hovels are transformed into beautiful living spaces — and the straight guys know just how beautiful they are. The straight guys don’t always get everything down pat, but they’re trying, and the fact that they’re trying at all, after spending a day or so with a group of queers, just makes me feel like there’s hope in the world that all this sexual identity stuff may someday be meaningless (or, well, maybe if George dumbass Bush dies in office). This is a picture, tiny though it is and done for some grins, of a world I’d like to live in, where a straight guy can go shopping with a flaming homo and not feel threatened, and in fact, actually have a great time.
It would be so cool if they did a “where are they now” wrap up, too. I’d love to see a much nicer girlfriend for the poor beach dude last week, I’d love to see how Adam’s keeping up with his new style, and if Butch is now the in artist in NY because he’s got his Fab 5 groove still in action. I know a lot of folks who hate what they consider superficial — looking good, or having a nice home, or buying nice clothes, whatever. But I think a lot of folks feel that there’s something missing in themselves, especially when they have a certain goal in mind that they don’t know exactly how to achieve. The queer boys have given these men the tools and the understanding to see the different, more polished and upkept person inside them, the one who can make it on to the art scene, or convince his (skanky ho) girlfriend to move in. Suddenly these guys see the missing pieces, and whether we think it’s superficial or not, they want those pieces enough to learn about them. I like the fact that they’re willing to learn, unthreatened by sex roles and stereotypes, from these wonderful gay men, and in the end, discover someone they really didn’t know existed inside them. It’s sweet and fun and kind of touching — everything a summer show ought to be.
I thought that, based on Bravo’s excellent job with QE, I might try Boy Meets Boy, but I lasted a grand 2 min before turning it off. Reality TV is loathsome to me. There is nothing about it that I find in any way appealing — the biggest reason being that it is predicated on watching incredibly stupid people who are desperate for attention do anything to get it, behaving even more cretinously in the process, and frankly, I spend enough time around people like that every damn day at work. Why go home and watch that as “entertainment”? My other reasons for hating reality shows are hidden inside that — I don’t find people humiliating themselves and whoring themselves at all appealing, especially when they’re doing it for some fake version of “romance” or for money; I don’t like most people in general (although for a misanthrope, I’m pretty social) and am so not interested in the depths they’re willing to sink for those goals; and most of all, I want to get lost in another world that’s carefully crafted, not the haphazardly scripted version of “reality” these shows engage in. Anyone who thinks these things aren’t scripted is too naïve to live.
What’s best about QE, and its precursors of Fashion Emergency on E! and shows like Trading Spaces or Changing Rooms, etc., and the old standard fashion news and lifestyle shows like Style with Elsa Klensch on CNN, is that they’re predicated on showing people positive ways to make changes, to people who want to make those changes. It’s not idiotic strangers whoring themselves for money or status, it’s just people who know they may need a change for whatever reason, and take the chance of doing it on television. I’m sure many want to be on TV, but that seems to take second place so far on QE. I loved the first season of The Osbournes, but as it became more and more about them creating their life for the camera, I got less and less interested, and haven’t watched the subsequent episodes. I find that sort of fakey scripting to be far less engaging than a character-driven drama, and I usually much prefer the interesting dramatically rendered character, even if they have faults, over some numbskull who’d eat a horse rectum just for money in a carefully orchestrated “showdown” gross-out match with her rival.
Even as the Fab 5 mock and tease their straight charges mercilessly (and again, no woman could withstand the often hilarious hazing they give these guys), they clearly care about them, want to find out what they’re all about, and make whatever changes suggested really work for the guy. Carson said, “We’re not here to change you; we’re here to make you better.” And while that may sound facetious and cutting, he’s right, and I thought it was a fairly astute statement: the QE guys are giving something to someone who’s said he needs advice and help, and wants to achieve some kind of goal. They’re showing him how to make it all come together, how to be better, without losing sight of what he’s really like underneath. In this week’s ep, they recognized John’s country boy appeal and his needs, and they worked with it. They may tease and demand, but they never do it with anything less than interest in their subject.
At first I thought the ending sequence, where they watch their little fledgling fly, was going to be painful for me with my humiliation squick, but I love seeing the guys and their pride in watching their subjects try to put it all together. From the simple things, like Kyan’s glee at John putting on more hand lotion to Carson’s happiness over Butch wearing loafers with no socks to Ted’s realization that they put too much on the guy’s shoulders, to the more complex things (the way they react to the other people’s reactions, especially), this sequence is funny and painful and joyous all at the same time. And again, it’s positive — while they may critique and react in horror to some things, it’s really clear that they’re proud of what they’ve done and thrilled to contribute to someone else’s change. When John started to choke up this week over everything they’d done for him, I started to, as well, because it was so cool to see the connection they’d made.
And that gets to what I really love about this show most. Admittedly it’s a small thing, but a show that offers straight men interacting with a whole posse of gay guys, getting petted and fondled (Carson has such wandering hands!) and stroked and gazed at in his underwear, would be impossible to imagine even less than a year ago. This is a world where the straight men are not reacting in a threatened way, are not shying fearfully from contact, assuming it’ll taint their masculinity, who aren’t overreacting to an image they construe to be “fagotty.” They let go of all that crap, they connect to the Fab 5 and show interest, they don’t make a judgment. Thom especially seems to have a great gift for both skewering the straight men’s surroundings and offering them a style they can immediately embrace and understand; it’s fascinating to watch their reactions as their little hovels are transformed into beautiful living spaces — and the straight guys know just how beautiful they are. The straight guys don’t always get everything down pat, but they’re trying, and the fact that they’re trying at all, after spending a day or so with a group of queers, just makes me feel like there’s hope in the world that all this sexual identity stuff may someday be meaningless (or, well, maybe if George dumbass Bush dies in office). This is a picture, tiny though it is and done for some grins, of a world I’d like to live in, where a straight guy can go shopping with a flaming homo and not feel threatened, and in fact, actually have a great time.
It would be so cool if they did a “where are they now” wrap up, too. I’d love to see a much nicer girlfriend for the poor beach dude last week, I’d love to see how Adam’s keeping up with his new style, and if Butch is now the in artist in NY because he’s got his Fab 5 groove still in action. I know a lot of folks who hate what they consider superficial — looking good, or having a nice home, or buying nice clothes, whatever. But I think a lot of folks feel that there’s something missing in themselves, especially when they have a certain goal in mind that they don’t know exactly how to achieve. The queer boys have given these men the tools and the understanding to see the different, more polished and upkept person inside them, the one who can make it on to the art scene, or convince his (skanky ho) girlfriend to move in. Suddenly these guys see the missing pieces, and whether we think it’s superficial or not, they want those pieces enough to learn about them. I like the fact that they’re willing to learn, unthreatened by sex roles and stereotypes, from these wonderful gay men, and in the end, discover someone they really didn’t know existed inside them. It’s sweet and fun and kind of touching — everything a summer show ought to be.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2003-07-31 02:27 pm (UTC)I think we're going to have some sort of gladiatorial games over who gets Ted. Or maybe it should be a cooking contest.
Well, if I must settle for sexy, hot, delicious Kyan, I suppose I must.
You really hit on the head most everything I like about the show--and why I don't like most other reality shows. Among other things, they're fabulous at praise. I mean, when all was said and done, no matter how much they disliked the Patronising and Evil Skank, they still just went, "He looked really happy when she said yes." They were happy for him, even if they wanted to rescue him from her at the same time. *g*
And I love your new icon!
no subject
Date: 2003-07-31 02:41 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-07-31 02:50 pm (UTC)And didn't you just love the way that he hugged them all goodbye? Not a fast hug, or a quick one, but a deep, long hug. I adored that. You could tell that what they did really meant a lot to him, and that he really got to know and love those guys over the course of the day. And they just adored him right back -- particularly Carson and his "wandering hands". ;)
You can have Ted, btw. Love him, but Carson? He is so my new gay boyfriend. We're going to go shopping tomorrow and make fun of ugly people. :)
no subject
Date: 2003-07-31 02:54 pm (UTC)And yeah -- I loved that John really hugged them all. As a person with these big-ass boundaries who's only recently learned to hug back, I am always impressed by people like that, and he just clearly appreciated everything so much, and appreciated them.
no subject
Date: 2003-07-31 03:35 pm (UTC)Yes! I agree. This show has me completely hooked. You make so many wonderful points about why it works -- the evident sincerity all participants feel is what makes me care, and the snarky humor makes me laugh. These men are either astoundingly witty or there are some good writers in the background. I like to think it's the former.
no subject
Date: 2003-07-31 03:40 pm (UTC)Ted's all yours, but I want dibs on Kyan.
no subject
Date: 2003-07-31 04:12 pm (UTC)And see, I want to ungay Kyan for a day and have wild monkey sex with him, but it's Ted I want for life. And we could go live in Thom's fabulous house, and Carson will mix cocktails and make bitchy remarks, and Jai will lounge around in something revealing like the georgeous little cherub he is... and even Blair will be there, probably mixing cocktails with Carson and playing DJ.
no subject
Date: 2003-08-04 11:04 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-07-31 04:44 pm (UTC)It's good, honest, vivid, and - oh god - virtually snark-free. Now, I love me some snark, but this is all tangy and refreshing.
no subject
Date: 2003-07-31 10:23 pm (UTC)And I love that -- tangy and refreshing! Whee!
no subject
Date: 2003-07-31 05:26 pm (UTC)My favorite thing about the show is how positive the concept is. As you said (and quoted Carson saying), it's about building people up, helping a guy be himself, but a better self. That's why I love this show and avoid What Not to Wear and its disparaging ilk. Let alone those other silly reality shows.
no subject
Date: 2003-07-31 10:25 pm (UTC)It's so funny -- I've always been described, and self-described, as pessimistic and cynical and Eyore-like, but these days more and more I'm responding to things I feel are positive and *human.* This show, for me, is really about that human thing, how much we can change and rise above by connecting with others regardless of social concepts.
no subject
Date: 2003-08-01 11:57 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-08-01 12:00 pm (UTC)