Despair, Inc.
Oct. 22nd, 2003 07:16 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
gwynI realize that this will likely get missed in the ensuing and ongoing discussion of tonight's Angel episode, but I got the funniest catalog ever in the mail today. I get a lot of catalogs, which is cool, but some of them are so far off target that I toss business-related things in the recycle almost sight unseen. I thought this one had the strangest cover, though -- a huge warehouse aisle with a guy sitting on the floor, resting up against huge shrink-wrapped cartons, and a sign hanging far above the aisle saying "Fight workplace demotivation: FIRE unhappy employees." And this smiling guy like you'd see in a Franklin Covey ad. Very dark grey and hopeless looking and at the bottom, there's a :-( and the words Despair, Inc.
On the back was a smiling woman with headset and this: "Operators are waiting to take your money." It has things like "For customer service on orders already placed: 1-866-WOE-IS-ME." And the Demotivators sticky pads for Cluelessness, Procrastination, etc. Inside are hysterical cards and posters that look like very well produced motivational things you'd find in the typical workplace. Beautiful photos, large type. Only the gorgeous photos have titles like "Ineptitude" and "Nepotism." Underneath are sayings -- (for ineptitude) "If you can't learn to do something well, learn to enjoy doing it poorly." For nepotism -- "we promote family values here -- almost as often as we promote family members." There are notecards, desk toppers, posters for things like Idiocy (Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups) and Despair (It's always darkest just before it goes pitch black). The categories include Megalomaniacal Maxims, Teambreakers (my fave), Idiotic Insights, Entropic Expressions, Underachievers, and the sublime Positive Negations.
Coming soon, they have a t-shirt with Insecurity on it, and a book called the Art of Demotivation. Not to mention candy hearts with stuff like Ready 2 Cry? This thing really threw me at first, because the catalog is so professionally done and so stylish, I honestly thought it was your typical business materials crap. I work in this field of design and production, so I was initially glancing at it as if it was something I could take in to work as a sample. I'd never heard of the web site before, and if you haven't, you can enjoy at least a virtual catalog at www.despair.com. Their e-mail list is called, delightfully, the wailing list, and if you want to be added, it's noescape@despair.com, to be removed, you can escape@. Seriously, go, laugh, tell others.
Now I have to buy the sticky pad that says Mistakes: It could be that the purpose of your life is only to serve as a warning to others.
On the back was a smiling woman with headset and this: "Operators are waiting to take your money." It has things like "For customer service on orders already placed: 1-866-WOE-IS-ME." And the Demotivators sticky pads for Cluelessness, Procrastination, etc. Inside are hysterical cards and posters that look like very well produced motivational things you'd find in the typical workplace. Beautiful photos, large type. Only the gorgeous photos have titles like "Ineptitude" and "Nepotism." Underneath are sayings -- (for ineptitude) "If you can't learn to do something well, learn to enjoy doing it poorly." For nepotism -- "we promote family values here -- almost as often as we promote family members." There are notecards, desk toppers, posters for things like Idiocy (Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups) and Despair (It's always darkest just before it goes pitch black). The categories include Megalomaniacal Maxims, Teambreakers (my fave), Idiotic Insights, Entropic Expressions, Underachievers, and the sublime Positive Negations.
Coming soon, they have a t-shirt with Insecurity on it, and a book called the Art of Demotivation. Not to mention candy hearts with stuff like Ready 2 Cry? This thing really threw me at first, because the catalog is so professionally done and so stylish, I honestly thought it was your typical business materials crap. I work in this field of design and production, so I was initially glancing at it as if it was something I could take in to work as a sample. I'd never heard of the web site before, and if you haven't, you can enjoy at least a virtual catalog at www.despair.com. Their e-mail list is called, delightfully, the wailing list, and if you want to be added, it's noescape@despair.com, to be removed, you can escape@. Seriously, go, laugh, tell others.
Now I have to buy the sticky pad that says Mistakes: It could be that the purpose of your life is only to serve as a warning to others.
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Date: 2003-10-22 07:41 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-10-23 08:53 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-10-22 08:28 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-10-23 08:53 am (UTC)The catalog is just very cool, even better in some respects than the web site.
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Date: 2003-10-22 08:53 pm (UTC)It's hilarious :-) I love that their help desk is called "Customer Disservice", lol!
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Date: 2003-10-22 09:45 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-10-23 08:56 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-10-22 10:44 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-10-23 07:04 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-10-23 08:56 am (UTC)It would go very well with my Bad Mood Magazine cover -- Entertainment for the Cranky and Irritable. Has features like Advanced Sulking and 273 Ways to Say "I Don't Like It."
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Date: 2003-10-23 11:49 am (UTC)And hee! Now that's a magazine I need.
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Date: 2003-10-23 07:28 am (UTC)