Dec. 16th, 2016

gwyn: (bucky steve mouths)
Question today comes from [personal profile] kass: What do you love most about Steve and Bucky right now?

You know, it's weird how much I had to think about this, since my default lately is simply STEVEANDBUCKYOMG4EVA!!! But Civil War really threw a monkey wrench in things for me--it was really obvious, between the first trailer and the beginnings of the press for it, where we were treated to things like the Russos saying "Stucky fans will be very happy" and numerous publications writing about how clearly not just friends Bucky and Steve are (and that if we lived in a better world, they would be allowed to be in a romantic relationship), the Disney/Marvel honchos got into a big gay panic and put the kibosh on the hoyay. Chris Evans even confirmed that most of the truncated and heavily edited bits were the bits between him and Sebastian.

And that tag felt like…punishment, for Bucky, which the writers have actually said out loud, that Bucky was guilty and I don't even know how to unpack such a tone-deaf statement from the people who gave us so much good stuff with him previously--but it also felt like punishment for us. Like they were wagging their fingers at us and telling us to stop talking about them like they're gay for each other. I hate that tag so much it's just been really hard for me to find a way in to write anything post-CW, and while there's certainly 90 percent more functional Bucky to vid with, it's still a challenge because they made such a point of keeping them physically apart, and keeping Steve's helmet on. The tag also felt like it was tacked on at the last minute, as part of that memo to PLEASE STOP WITH THE GAY TALK. Keep them separated, the same way they do in the comics, where they pine for each other and talk about each other relentlessly but only spend time with each other once in a while and they are very straight they have girlfriends please shut up thank you very much.

So what I love most about them right now is hard because it's wrapped up in all the stuff I'm actually really angry about, and I'm having trouble separating that. Most of what I've tried to write lately is stories that are separate from the new canon, even if they're set post-Winter Soldier, because that's kind of the only place I can be happy. I don't mind thinking of Steve being Nomad, because I love me some Nomad, he's adorable and hilarious and so earnest, but I definitely don't like thinking of the MCU Bucky being separate from Steve, as the Man on the Wall like he's been in comics recently or leading Thunderbolts, or sometimes even Bucky!Cap, because that'd mean Steve's gone completely from his life. If he's going to be Bucky!Cap, I just want it to be because Steve's also fighting, just in some other way than as Cap specifically. (I love thinking of the comics Bucky in Thunderbolts with Kobik, being a reluctant but pretty good dad, as a possibility for the story in MCU, I just don't want it separate from Steve.)

I love them trying to get on with their lives, to find a place together and figuring out who they are in the modern world. That never ever gets old for me, honestly, their struggle to fit in here, that they are really the only people in the world with shared life experience. Most of what I write certainly focuses on that, and I feel like the development of who they are in this world is an endlessly deep well we can mine (Marvel won't, but fan writers can). I love them being domestic and fucking shopping for curtains because they never had that chance before and now they can live a life together. I want them having tons of great sex if that's what they want, or none if they don't want it, and eating sandwiches and drinking good coffee and discovering what to them might be weird new foods. And having a great time with their new found family of friends. I love them because they're astoundingly resilient, considering everything they've been through, and they're strong and they will get through the really bad days.

So I guess that's what I love about them, in spite of Civil War's best efforts to kill my passion. In the midst of all the crap around them, they are strong, and they offer some hope, and they find a way to keep going, and I find that encouraging.

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