Not a con report

[gwyn]

I'm not much for the con reporting -- for one thing, I can't imagine anyone giving a damn who I saw or hung out with unless they wanted to see me mention their names, and for another, I'm insanely boring and frequently find myself alone, so there's even less to talk about. So this is a not-con report, mostly, about my general thoughts on Escapade this year -- I almost never do panels except when they involve friends, so I have little to comment on except general stuff.

My traveling companion, T, and I always come in early on Thursday and try to spend time in an area of LA we've never been to before, exploring and seeing sights. This year we went to West Hollywood and did the gay trail, culminating in a stop at Circus of Books for the porn palace we've heard so much about over the years. Yes, there was a lot of porn. But I found it a bizarrely disappointing collection, as there wasn't much in the way of particular kinks in either the het or the gay sections, and the gay stuff was just completely unorganized, so you'd have to spend whole days there if you were looking for anything specific. Since I thought the poor gay guys were probably mildly freaked at the tall straight-looking chick, I kept my presence to a minimum. But then we dealt with hideous rush hour traffic and construction to visit the coolest cemetary ever, the Hollywood Forever graveyard off Sunset. Unfortunately the sun was setting and T was freaked, plus I was worried they would close the gates early, so we had to leave without finding any of the good celeb graves except for Mel Blanc (whose tombstone says "That's all, folks!"), but we're definitely going back next year. And T so generously signed me up for next year's con at the higher rate, whch makes me uncomfortable but verklemmt and grateful.

Verklemmt and grateful turned out to be the theme of the weekend, for me. X, whose gorgeous fan art has been a favorite for years, helped me out significantly financially, as well as giving me a cool booklet with her gorgeous art of Chris going in under Vin's hat for a kiss. And I can't say enough about the generosity of killabeez, who not only already gave me the first season box set of Jeremiah, but also gave me DVD copies she made of the unaired in the states second season eps, as well, at the con, not to mention other wonderful treats. maygra plied me with drunken compliments that she probably doesn't remember at all, but that made me feel all warm and gooey. It makes me all weepy and sniffly, and I pretty much spent the con that way. morgandawn has not only been putting up a bunch of my vids lately on her space, but she also gave me a new disc of her vids, and bought me dinner when a bunch of us Jeremiah folks went out for food Friday night. You never really know how many friends you have and how generous people are until something terrible happens to you, and then you find out just how wonderful the people you know truly are. I felt blessed and loved and happy, feelings that I confess are somewhat alien to me. And when I got my Keen Eddie vid mentioned in the vid show review panel, that kind of tipped me over the edge -- it surprised me so much that they'd want to mention it before the other comedy vids that I almost burst into tears. (BTW, if you're interested in watching the vid, it's
at Morgan's site -- if you already have the password, you can go there; if not, e me and I'll let you know.)

ETA: I meant to say something about the song in the vid, Too Bad. I heard so many variations on what people thought the music was that I wanted to clear that up: Doug and the Slugs were a ska/punk/powerpop/barbershop (no, really) band from Vancouver that I used to go see all the time in the early '80s. They had a minor video hit with the video to Too Bad and a couple others, and I'm always surprised when someone I meet knows about them -- they're that obscure.

I got to see all my usual friends, including my beloved San Francisco buddies, check out poor lizyjn and make sure she was okay!, and hang out with the usual folks I bop around with. I loved the Escapade lounge this year, with a bar and a huge TV and little tables with lights and a couple couches by the TV -- it made a great place to look for friends, and waste time in. It also made a great overflow area for the vid show. I also loved being able to check out zines from the library in the con suite. I went to a couple of high seas/Napoleonic era fandom panels, one on Master and Commander (it is just so *cute* to see all my friends going so nuts for this! I love it!), and one that encompassed more of the general themes of both Hornblower and M&C (though once again, I was left feeling really depressed and isolated because I love a character who seems to be completely marginalized by the HH fandom, though I did appreciate that Naomi and Destina included Sharpe recs on their handout). I also went the WOAD Society preview of their new disc set, and it was lovely and wonderful -- got to see some new vids and some that were favorites. The only other panel I tried was the tiny fandoms one, but I started to get hostile about halfway through and had to leave -- whenever a couple people will take over a panel and hoard all the talk time, I find myself losing it, and remember why I never go to panels.

The vid show went surprisingly smoothly this year, and not having the Friday show made me enormously happy. All of the tech setup problems that plague us when we have less than two hours to hook together modern and 25-year-old technology were eliminated, and astolat's creation of a disc beforehand meant we only had to soundcheck the vids, rather than check each one individually for everything. There were a few problems, like a run-list glitch, and one vid had severe audio problems, but overall on our end it was smooth. Though there was a problem with the comment sheets migrating off to places many vidders didn't know where to go to find them, so anyone who left early was pretty much SOL. Problem I need to find a way to solve next year if we do the sheets like this again. And once more unto the breach -- it is both heartening and horrifying to me that no matter how much trouble you go to to ask people not to attack vidders or lash out just because you don't like their musical tastes or their pairing or whatever, and you create a different type of comment sheet to minimize that problem, people will still find a way to be malicious and cruel for no other reason than that they are evil, petty little shitheads. I swear, next year I'm taking names and bashing heads.

I didn't come home with a run list or anything like that, and far too many vids have already gotten lost in my brain cloud, but I remember loving (I'm not even going to attempt trying to do everyone's LJ name, because I will fail miserably) Laura Shapiro's exquisitely disturbing Farscape vid, Destina's gorgeous Gladiator vid to All Souls Night, Luminosity's riotously funny Angel vid My West Hollywood Lifestyle, Whatever and her other Angel and Wes vid that I can't remember the darn name of, Sisabet's deeply creepy Smallville vid, Morgan Dawn's breathtaking Due South vid to music from the Road to Perdition soundtrack, Killa's haunting, sad Kurdy character study for Jeremiah, and also her lovely QAF-UK vid (Vince!), Melina's tender character study of Duncan, and the unreally cool LA Confidential vid by Jill and Kathy. And I'm sure I'm forgetting stuff now... I'd already seen Sandy, Rache and Viv's wonderful Farscape/Stargate vid to Wipeout, and it was fun watching it with an audience and seeing them react so happily. And shalott's beautiful Master and Commander vid to Duende made me wish I could run out and watch the movie again rightthisverysecond. It was totally Russell Crowe night with LAC, M&C, and Gladiator, I'm telling ya! I also just adored having a Professionals vid in the show, which PRZed brought all the way from Canada. What a treat and reminder of our heritage.

I thought it was a very good, very solid vid show, and filled with vids that I thought made wonderful character studies or great slahy set pieces. Every year, because I think I'm a sort of visible presence from making announcements before the show, I hear the complaints of how it's not slashy enough or not fannish enough or not connish enough. And the comment sheets often echo that, though in far less polite way than many of the people I know on LJ who've said that. And once the hoo-haw dies down about some of the con reports, I plan to write a long post about this -- it's been building up in my mind for many years now, this whole thing about how to define what should or shouldn't happen at the show, and since I have such a lengthy history of being involved with it and as an audience member and vidder there, I feel I have something to say. I'm sure it will offend some, hurt some, and make some happy, though I have no intention of writing it with any of those things in mind -- but I know there will be fallout, so I want to wait a while before I say anything. No matter how calm or reasoned you are, when you get into these topics, decorum flies out the window, I've learned.

Sunday was day of recovery, the dead dog party, and then House of Meat with my buds, who hadn't already departed. I love House of Meat, even when we're crammed into a table that's far too small and we're all practically in each other's laps. T and I got back to LAX far too early, so we sat in the only sun of the whole weekend (it rained most of the weekend, my only real disappointment) for a long time at the car rental place, and then went home. It was harder coming home this year than usual, knowing I had to be up gruesomely early for an outplacement seminar thingie, and that now I couldn't put off the unemployment filing and the dealing with job hunting anymore. Real life is back, in all its misery. But this was such a sustaining weekend with my friends, I think I can get through it now. I know some really amazing people, I do.

Comments

[elke-tanzer.livejournal.com]

{{{{{{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

[destina.livejournal.com]

I want to talk about everything you said in your post, but that'd be spammy, so I'll narrow the field. *g*

And when I got my Keen Eddie vid mentioned in the vid show review panel, that kind of tipped me over the edge -- it surprised me so much that they'd want to mention it before the other comedy vids that I almost burst into tears.

*hugs you!* I loved that vid completely. And I'm thrilled you've put it up online, because to me, it was quintessentially the kind of funny vid I like the most -- it works on every level, and it's amazing. I wish we had had more time to talk about it at the con -- not in the panel, per se; I just would have loved to have more time to chat.

And once more unto the breach -- it is both heartening and horrifying to me that no matter how much trouble you go to to ask people not to attack vidders or lash out just because you don't like their musical tastes or their pairing or whatever, and you create a different type of comment sheet to minimize that problem, people will still find a way to be malicious and cruel for no other reason than that they are evil, petty little shitheads.

*nod* I thought it was somewhat predictable that despite your reminder to people before the show, people pursued their own agendas via the comments sheets. Almost as though they couldn't help themselves. There were several sheets I read that took me aback; a few comments on my vids, and also comments on others'.

I'll be interested to see your thoughts about how to define the should/shouldn't re content of the vid show, because I have some definite opinions of my own, and I'm going to post them eventually, and I'm going to come down on the 'if it's a good vid, I don't care if it's slash or not' side of things.

And finally, yes to the House of Meat; it's not a con without beef. *g*

[gwyn-r.livejournal.com]

I thought it was somewhat predictable that despite your reminder to people before the show, people pursued their own agendas via the comments sheets. Almost as though they couldn't help themselves. There were several sheets I read that took me aback; a few comments on my vids, and also comments on others'.

This is starting to become a big issue for me. I know that Escapade has a long history of being controversial and of people being able to say what they want, that it's not Nurturecon or whatever. And it's a slash con. But I'm annoyed by the Slash Nazis who think that's the only thing that matters -- it's the driving force for us getting together, but it's not the only thing people care about. It isn't a weekend of purifying the fucking race. And the fact that it's purposely controversial doesn't mean that's an excuse for people to be mean without consequence, and hide behind anonymity like the weaselly little cowards they are.

I feel really strongly that if people aren't enjoying aspects of the vid show, then they should stop going, and they should stop trying to push their fascist agenda on others, and they should get over themselves regarding their tastes in pairings or fandoms or music or personal issues with other fans. If you don't like something, it's four minutes out of your damn life. Deal like an adult, and don't use the veil of comment sheets or con reviews to bludgeon people who don't follow your personal agenda.

Not that, you know, I'm going to say it like that later. Not under the new Kinder, Gentler Gwyneth administration. ;-)

I look forward to your analysis.

[laurashapiro.livejournal.com]

I've enjoyed the conversation we've been having on the subject so far, and I'd love to see it get broader play. Rache was talking about maybe having a panel at Vividcon on the subject of connecting to the audience. That could be nifty.

I never saw a single comment sheet other than the one I filled out myself. Do we vidders get to see the comments at some point? Remind me of how this works again. (:

Re: I look forward to your analysis.

[gwyn-r.livejournal.com]

I'm going to buy a lo-jack next year and affix it to K. She walked off with the comment sheets, and normally they would go up to the con suite, but this year there was the lounge. So she was there for a while, then up in someone's room where apparently most of the vidding crowd ended up (clearly not all of us, though!), and then very late in the afternoon on Sunday. So making sure that I find her and keep her around is on my list of things to do next year -- fix a spot, and all that.

She will be typing up responses and will make them available probably within the next 30 days. I'll be nagging, I promise. Basically she's just going to input all comments by number on the run list, and then we can check our own or others' that way.

Thank you.

[laurashapiro.livejournal.com]

Good to know the comments aren't lost to me forever. (: I appreciate the info.

Re: I look forward to your analysis.

[morgandawn.livejournal.com]

PRZed & I both missed out the comment sheets that night. I think after K, they wandered off into a room party. And in my case, when I said goodbye to K on Sunday I had forgotten to ask about them. Like Gwyn, I wrote her, so hopefully soon.

[juliaabra.livejournal.com]

sounds like a fascinating time. i have yet to attend a con so it's always interesting to me to read about them. and the house of meat. hmm. i miss la. and, i might add, you have wonderful friends and deservedly so.
*hugs*
j

[moonchildetoo.livejournal.com]

It was nice to finally meet you - and many thanks for the copy of the vid, which was just so much fun. Lol, I never even thought that you wouldn't have a clue what badge name to look for - sorry about that! I've mentioned the vid on the LJ community keeneddieslash. They're brand new and don't have that many members, so y'all go on over.... My LJ has a few other links, too.

As a side note, I'd be happy to talk Horatio/Pellew, Horatio/Bush or KE with you any time, esp. if you can't find anyone else to talk about Our Naval Heroes. Cheers.

[gwyn-r.livejournal.com]

I think meeting you and having that short but wonderful chat with Kathy on Sunday was one of the highlights of my weekend, seriously! It was so nice to meet people who are attracted to the type of BSO I often am, and who knew all the fandoms and characters I was interested in.

I have a friend who would probably love the Keen Eddie slash list, so I'll make sure to tell her as well. I'm really hoping that the people who said they were interested in the show will honestly follow through now that the buzz of the con is gone -- I want more fans!

[moonchildetoo.livejournal.com]

Thank you! I wish we'd found each other earlier, but better late than never. We need Eddiefic, for sure. Interestingly, what very little is out there at this point is split about 50/50 between Eddie/Monty and Eddie/Nathaniel. I don't think I could write the latter, but I certainly wouldn't mind reading it, as Colin Salmon is a veeerrah handsome man. The founder of Keeneddieslash had nice words for the vid.

Keen Eddie

[morgandawn.livejournal.com]

I'll post these here as I find them.

http://www.livejournal.com/users/darthhellokitty/114656.html

[kassrachel.livejournal.com]

I'm sure it will offend some, hurt some, and make some happy, though I have no intention of writing it with any of those things in mind

Lo, you are wise. This strikes me as a perfect encapsulation of the risk of participating in fandom online -- or probably in person, for that matter. *g* We say things because we're engaged and intrigued and in-love with something, and inevitably somebody's offended and somebody's hurt and somebody's delighted. I'd say I wish people could be less thin-skinned, but then again, there are times when I'm the thin-skinned one, so I guess that would be hypocritical of me. Maybe what I really wish is that fans would give each other the benefit of the doubt. We're here because we love this shared thing we do, and even if we disagree, we usually speak/post with good intentions...

I look forward to reading your post, anyway, whenever you get around to posting it. I'm curious to hear your thoughts about the vid show over time, and about the criteria people use to talk about what "should" be in it. I still feel very much a newbie when it comes to vids -- it's really only since I started coming to Escapade that I've started to understand how cool and fascinating they can be -- so I like listening to people talk about them. :-)

[gwyn-r.livejournal.com]

I definitely want you to know, too, that it's not based on what you and Laura were saying that I responded to earlier in the week -- the kinds of things you she felt were perfectly valid and understandable reactions, especially for things that didn't engage you. What bothers me, and has been growing into an increasingly large issue for me over the past five or six years, is the folks who take that sense of disenchantment or disappointment and turn it into an attack. Which I know you'd never do.

And I also know I'm straying into dangerous territory and expect a massive unfriending, because lately it seems like the slash community I've been a part of for so long has turned into this weird, reactionary, offensive -- like they're waging war or something, and it makes me nervous to say anything. But I have to get it off my chest -- I've been a part of the vid show as it's evolved for a very long time, and I'm concerned that some of the purpose is being lost -- entertainment, basically -- in the political agenda of a loud group of fans. It's just a freaking vid show, you know? ;-) Disappointment and dissatisfaction I get; anger and rage, I do not.

[moonchildetoo.livejournal.com]

And I also know I'm straying into dangerous territory and expect a massive unfriending, because lately it seems like the slash community I've been a part of for so long has turned into this weird, reactionary, offensive -- like they're waging war or something, and it makes me nervous to say anything. (snip) It's just a freaking vid show, you know? ;-) Disappointment and dissatisfaction I get; anger and rage, I do not.

I haven't experienced this in relation to the vidding community (since I'm not a vidder) but I have experienced it in fandom, as I briefly touched on when we met. I don't know if it's a power trip or just Girl Uncontrolled, or what, but it pretty close to drove me out of fandom altogether. Waiting for the vid show to start, I heard a little bit about what's been going on, in general, and I was really surprised. I can't imagine why people should choose to go rabid over vids, of all things. I'm used to seeing it in fic and pairings, but when I found out it was happening in vids, I found that truly bizarre. One thought is that maybe it's because vidding is becoming a much larger part of fandom the past few years??