Poking along

[gwyn]

Posted Ciudad de Estrellas Part 2: Hostages last night, in which nothing much really happens but it didn't stop me from writing 12,000+ words about it! See, I told you I could overwrite anything and make it really long. There are also a few changes to the first part (not many) and I finally remembered to put a subtitle on it (Vanishing Point).

I feel like making my once-a-year or so disclaimer here. I'm a slow writer. I'm an even slower self-editor, and I always edit and rewrite a lot, because I'm not that great a writer on the first try and if I accidentally come up with anything good, it's always in the rewrites stage. I don't get people who write in IM or e-mail or slap things up without even a reread, and it's not a talent I'll ever develop. Slow and steady wins the race, that's me (not that I've ever, you know, won a race). Also, I've got a house to take care of on my own, can't even afford my lawn guys anymore so just taking care of my huge yard falls solely to me and takes up all my time, trying to do what I can for my sister with cancer, taking care of my elderly dad, a full-time job for another month, other people's things to help on, my vidding projects, and public speaking/teaching gigs pretty often, so I can't crank shit out the way a lot of fans can. I'm sorry about it, and I'm really flattered people want more faster, but saying "more, faster" will usually only piss me off or depress me, depending on my mood and how overwhelmed and depressed by my real life I am. Which is usually a lot these days.

And no, I have NOT abandoned Measure of a Man. I don't have any new Buffy ideas, but I have not abandoned it. I never abandon fandoms, I just run out of story ideas, or get stalled. I've never written a work in progress before, and I had no idea how hard it is when you know where the rest of it is going, but you're stuck in neutral on the steps needed to get them there. I'm also slow. This is just how it is. /obligatory disclaimer about my lameness.

Not that I'm not excited about finishing this part two. Really I am. I just want to be clear because I have a bad feeling it might come up again -- this WIP thing, man, it's kind of like lingering torture. ;-)

Comments

YAAAAAAAAY!!!!

[maygra.livejournal.com]

Wild cheering from the crowdss..and one single heartfelt gora becasue I'm working my butt off today and can't read it right this second.

Woo hoo though!! Lunch!!!

[ixchel55.livejournal.com]

I'll second that YAAAAAAAAY!! I'm going to go read it right now.

I sympathize with the birth pangs of a WIP. Gravity started out as a 4 parter. It metastasized into 17 parts (several parts had 'a' and 'b' - 17 had a 'c') that wound up taking me months to complete! So you are not alone in your verbosity. (woohoo! big words!) You'll never hear bitching and complaining from me, although a small, occasional, very quiet whimper isn't out of the question. {G} What you will hear is heartfelt gratitude, for you and everyone else who chooses to share their talent with us.

[gwyn-r.livejournal.com]

Metastasized! What a perfect word for that. Somehow I mostly know when something will get large, but the scope of my ability to put it down doesn't always follow the scope of my ability to think it in my head. ;-)

[mlyn.livejournal.com]

Took me four years to finish a fic once, and that was only because I needed something to share with a fictional writing class.

Thank you for whatever you can share. *Hugs*

[chrisleeoctaves.livejournal.com]

Although I have personally never had anyone harrass me about posting new bits to stories (probably because I never post WIPs) I can only imagine how annoying it must get for you. People who do not write don't know how the "muse" or whatever you want to call it works. Plus, RL must always come first, even for a person who is inspired ad nauseum.

You sound overwelmed and I just wanted to offer my support.

[gwyn-r.livejournal.com]

I don't want to overstate that I get annoyed, more like frustrated that I know I'm letting people down. I get pissed, but mostly it's a kind of pissed off at myself, pissed that I can never seem to meet people's expectations thing. I know that In the Time Before Dawn, when everything was in zines, people were pretty patient about the waiting. Not that they didn't want it now, but there was no way to get it that fast. Now the expectation seems almost overnight, and depending on my mood, I'm either depressed that I'm not doing what people want, or mad about it. But for the same reason.

[dine.livejournal.com]

I'm thrilled to see this part, and while I'm hopeful for more (soon?) I know that your timing isn't mine, so I'll try not to beg for more in an annoying fashion.

[gwyn-r.livejournal.com]

The annoyance is mostly on my part -- because I can't meet people's expectations. I mean, I really am flattered that people want more -- it's a sign you're doing your job. But it's hard when you know you're just not doing well enough to make people happy -- and I think that having two WIPs on different battlefronts was maybe a bit more than I should have tried to chew!

[spasticat.livejournal.com]

Everyone goes at writing so differently and there can't be one right way. If you write slow and it's this process of editing and re-editing then that's your method and there's no way you should feel that you should be like the insta-writers you spoke of above. Real life gets in the way, self-editing and re-working add on the time, and then there are the stalled periods. I think I speak for a lot of people when I say I capiche. What we get to read is great and appreciated.

It's funny but I was reading a book about getting the first gig writing screenplays, The First Time I Got Paid for It (http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0306810972/qid=1098212281/sr=8-2/ref=sr_8_xs_ap_i2_xgl14/103-4115381-1691812?v=glance&s=books&n=507846), and it relates to this post. I read of a few of my fave screenwriters who all go at writing so differently, some fast, some slow. William Goldman struggles with writing which I was amazed at as I had assumed it was effortless for him.

[gwyn-r.livejournal.com]

It really is amazing how differently writers view the process. I think about the stink Anne Rice caused recently on Amazon, and the horrible way she views editors, but it's indicative of the wide range of experiences and beliefs. Not that I want to cut her slack, the dumb bitch, but!

Mostly I just feel guilty, so I make the disclaimer as often as I can. People have been pretty open about how much my slowness pisses them off on the Buffy WIP, and I didn't think a month (less, really) between parts for this F&F thing was that bad, but a lot of people said, "I wondered what was taking you so long..." and I was just flummoxed. "Well, you know, my sister's cancer got in the way, damn her, sorry about that." ;-) It's hard -- you want people to be excited, but it can be a lot of pressure to put on yourself. Writers=masochists.

[spasticat.livejournal.com]

Well, for someone like me who's new to your journal it was helpful to read the disclaimer. I think we readers forget that writers have a lot of real life to deal with. Take your time with your writing and don't stress. You don't want it to become this horrible chore...as opposed to the usual angst and worry involved with finishing up another installment of a WIP. ;)

I've only recently been made aware of the Anne Rice debacle. I work in publishing and even though I'm with an educational publisher it was still a shock to hear AR say she's beyond using an editor. Boggled my mind as I've picked up advanced reading copies of books and have found loads of spelling errors. No one is that perfect that they don't need another set of eyes to look for mistakes.

And, yikes, how I owe you fb on all of the FatF fic of yours I've read. Feedbackers=procrastinators. ;)

[ixchel55.livejournal.com]

Posted Ciudad de Estrellas Part 2: Hostages last night, in which nothing much really happens...

In the words of Brian, Holy shit! Lady, that was just about the 'hottest' nothing much I've ever read. I can't remember when I've been so worked up over no real physical contact as this.

And what you've done is given us Brian's background, where he's come from, where he's trying to go, what he's thinking. You've given us a shit load of emotional content to swim through (I always did like swimming) VBG!

Kudos to whoever pimped you and the other recent writers into this fandom. You guys are the best thing to happen to this fandom since khal.

Great voices! Wonderful slow building of tension. It just kept getting tighter and tighter until at the end I thought our two guys were going to bust apart at the seams. Way to ramp up the amps.

Uhmm? Is it to early to start whining yet? ;-)

[gwyn-r.livejournal.com]

Oh, cool! I'm glad it worked!

You know, the funny thing is, I'm pimp-proof -- I never get pimped into things, but I tend to find them in my own time. It took me three years... and it was my renewed love for Vin Diesel after Riddick came out that sort of jump-started this. I think, too, the Jossverse on TV ending really threw me for a loop, and I was open to something unexpected. And then snowballs started rolling downhill... and I've got a couple more fish on the line, I think! So yay for the little rennaissance, I'm hoping we can bring some stuff to the table that you and Khal and others have already set so wonderfully for us. :-D

[kadymae.livejournal.com]

meeep! I just found out about this story today.

What achingly poignant characterizations and backstory for both. What a beautiful exploration of the burden and the blessing a loving family is.

And what angsty hot UST. Oooohh ... so melty.

[gwyn-r.livejournal.com]

Thank you! Yeah, this seemed to have fallen through a lot of cracks, I guess.

I'm really glad that you mentioned the family stuff -- that's something I really wanted to deal with in the story overall because I thought that was one of the most affecting parts of the original film, and one that is often ignored in all the car porniness and guy porniness... they set up a lovely kernel of story in Tanner's comment about how there are all sorts of families, and I would think that Brian's clear sense of isolation and Dom's clear sense of obligation to (and love for) his larger family weren't just in there by accident. I think it's what elevates the story waaayyy above stuff like Point Break, which it's always called a ripoff of.

[(Anonymous)]

Hi Gwyn_r
This story is great!! I love your detailing and the characterizations. Very enjoyable reading. I am sooo looking forward to the next part. But, I am waiting patiently.
Catty

[gwyn-r.livejournal.com]

Hi Catty -- glad you liked it! Yeah, patience is a good thing -- I haven't even started putting anything down for part 3 yet, but now that I know people may be reading it after all, I'll try to get my lazy ass in gear!