In which I am achy breaky

[gwyn]

It's been such a busy few weeks, and getting busier -- two potential jobs coming on top of a new book I got today that is the first for a major travel book publisher. I'm very nervous about this one -- even though it sounds like I passed their (insane) test with flying colors, I still feel like it's a lot of work and very unfamiliar territory. The copyediting isn't really, in many respects, the big issue, it's more about the codes. They have the most convoluted typecoding system I've ever seen, and every single thing is coded, so the page is a morass of complicated Quark codes. Still, they give new CEs and proofers 2 hours of paid time on top of the estimated time for the book, so you can peruse their lengthy guides and codes and whatnot.

It's something I'm going to have to do on the couch, because I still can't sit here in my office for very long. I finally ended up at a new chiropractor -- I have always been afraid of chiropractic care because it just seems so incredibly dangerous to have people jerking your spine around, and every time they snap your neck, I am totally skeered that I'm going to be paralyzed for life. But the first time I went to one I was in so much pain that I literally couldn't move, someone had to help me walk from my office chair to my car so I could get to the place, and I instantly felt relief in a way that muscle relaxants and pain pills hadn't given me. I've only been a few times since then, and it took a lot for me to go this time, but my acupuncturist sent me to her guy, and already things are a tiny bit better.

But this time I'm in it for a longer haul -- they're working with me on costs and stuff, so I can do this, but I really wasn't surprised when he showed me how badly out of whack my hips and lower back are on the X-rays. I know it's going to be more than a few treatments; we're talking about probably three to four months before I begin to get a little better. The hard part is taking it easy -- like right now, there is so much work, and the yard is a mess, and so on ad infinitum. Plus, honestly, I'd really like to do something fun, like writing or vidding; not to mention that Yuletide is coming up (although apparently I completely missed all the deadlines for Festivids, c'est la vie).

I have started writing in one of my blogs but it's not much so far, I'm mostly trying to get back in the swing of things. For weeks I was a nervous wreck about this workshop I was doing on Saturday, and it's such a relief now that that's over with and seemed to go well, allowing me to concentrate on funner things. And I even started a tea blog just for the hell of it so I could keep track of all my tea tastings. Which means I'm not without some creative output, but it's not necessarily fannish in nature and I kind of miss that.

The hard part is just that there's nothing that really makes me feel that incredible rush of fannish love right now. I feel like I need to talk about my love/less than love with Fringe right now (I'm so torn! There's Charlie and Broyles in hot, tight black t-shirts in the alternaverse, but I really don't like the alternaverse! I don't like alternaLivia! Walternate creeps me out in a bad way! But then... then they do things like the twin storyline, which just... well, come on. Those of you who know me will know how deeply that story touched me --I was pretty much a blubbering idiot afterward). I'm waiting for next season of Justified. New Burn Notice this week. Chuck is... I don't know what Chuck is right now for me.

Until end of January, I have all the pay premium cable stations, which means I've been able to watch Boardwalk Empire and Dexter in real time (and was able to catch the end of True Blood in real time, too, which was awesome), and Dexter is intriguing me a lot this year (though I am seriously hoping they don't do with Lumen what they've done with everyone else who knows about Dex in the past, I think it would jump so far past the shark if they follow formula here), plus there's bonus skeevy Peter Weller, which is awesome.

Yet even with all this bounty o' TV, I don't feel that heart-fluttering need for fannish content the way I used to. Where is my Buffy equivalent, or my Mag 7 or Fast and Furious passion? I don't know. Maybe it's just that I'm so lonesome lately, and I don't have anyone nearby me to share passions. Most of the shows I watch, I used to watch with other people. That would certainly help a lot. I don't even really have online communities I feel part of for that. I wonder if at Escapade I'll feel as dissociated as I did last year? There's a lot to be said for having fan friends... I'm looking forward to watching Mag 7 with some newbies in a few weeks and seeing how people react to it (and keeping fingers crossed for some fannish interest).

I know some of it is the time of year, too -- as the birthday creeps ever closer, and the feeling that I have nothing to do on that day (everyone's usually busy or gone on T-day weekend) but sit home alone and be reminded that sis_r is gone, overwhelms me, it adds a lot of gloom to an already dark, dreary time of year. I just feel so isolated and alone, and having to be home, resting my back so often makes me feel like even more of a shut-in. I wish there were fun things to do in November. A lot of times I've gone up to Vancouver for my birthday, but this year the person I usually go with is gone. And anyhoo, I have this new job, which is due the day after.

So, I need to go ice my back, and start reading all this material on coding and processes and what have you. Fifty pages of basics, and that doesn't even count the manuscript!

Comments

[kass]

I'm sorry that Fringe isn't making you as happy as it is me right now, only because I love sharing squee and I wish I could wrap up some of mine with a big bow and hand it to you.

I wish I were coming to Escapade this year. I just can't afford it -- we have a big plane trip in January for a major professional thing for me, and I just can't afford another trip this spring. But I am bound and determined to start making it to that con again someday (because there are friends from Escapade who I miss a ton, you among them!) Sigh.

Anyway. Thinking of you from afar, hon. *hug*

[gwyn]

Well, it's not to say that Fringe is making me unhappy. I'm just torn. I have had a lot of "we're getting our asses kicked and everyone dies" fandoms lately, and I'm not in a place where I can really take that much more of it. I would die of happiness if Charlie and the other guy were able to come into our world, for instance -- I miss Charlie so, so much. I mean, he was a huge part of what I liked about it in the first place because I have a thing for Kirk Acevedo.

But anyhow, it's a lot of good in with the bad. I am loving the fact that Olivia is going to get herself out, we can see that happening now. She'll probably enlist the help of her team -- this is what I love about her that they haven't changed. She is so strong and so smart. And this past episode, even though there were things I gritted my teeth over, really hit me in the heart. I knew immediately when they started sawing that amber that the guy was looking for his twin. And they did an amazing job with that storyline, one of the few times I think I have seen a TV show handle twinship and loss and guilt over that loss in any way that's remotely true. And I loved that it was Olivia who knew they had switched.

Everything they did with her visits back to our world were amazing, too -- the breaking snowglobe (which I agree with what you said about it in your post), the sight of no twin towers... that was so compelling. I have a lot of things I want to say about it all, but at the same time, the whole thing makes me a nervous wreck and I am really afraid of it descending into BSG territory, where it's this constant grinding down of the world, the characters, the humans, and then in the end you just get smarmy shit thrown at you... And I've seen the kinds of things JJ and his team can do to a show with Alias, so I worry.

[van]

Quark?! Are you for real?

Justified! Burn Notice this week, eee! And I wish I could sit and watch Mag7 with you. Not because I'm a newbie (altho the more I watch it, the less I know, I swear) but because I think you would be a blast to watch it with. Damn, why can't you set up some live vidcam so we can get our voyeur on out here in Jealous Land!

Good luck with the manuscript, G.

[gwyn]

Quark?! Are you for real?

I know, right? It's... I mean, everything has a code, sometimes really complex ones, so you have to read through all the codes and make sure that not only are they correct, the text buried inside them is, too. It's tough! But if I can get consistent work, it will make up for the not paying well/hard detail work.

I would so love to get back into Mag 7. I don't remember ever having so much fun falling for a fandom, but those people aren't around anymore, and that's all gone, so... sigh.

Ack!

[sherrold]

I didn't realize your back was causing you quite so much trouble! I'm glad the chiropractor is helping, and I hear your fear, but so far, it sounds like it's worth sticking with it.

Yay on getting a new (if anal-retentive) client! B went to the editor's guild party recently and said that generally, people seemed to be finding more work than this time last year, and I'm glad to see you're part of that.

I know I owe you email; I swear I'll get to it

[batwrangler.livejournal.com]

*hugs*

[morningapproach.livejournal.com]

I love chiropractors. They take quite a few sessions to get back into alignment, but they do a wonderful job of alleviating the pain and pressure on joints. I know that a lot of physiotherapists have issues with them, but I would much rather see a chiropractor in conjunction with physio and massage therapy for getting my body feeling good than do just physio.

Try getting a rice pack for your back. If you need to, sew one. I can send you directions later if you want :) The heat helps muscles relax a lot more than ice will!

[gwyn-r.livejournal.com]

Well, the chiropractor himself is the one who ordered the icing, so I feel like I have to stick with it, although heat is much preferred! I"m not sure why. I actually hate icing things, myself, because I have this freakishly sensitive skin where everything is either really hot or really cold, and it affects me more than I wish it did.

[aryas_zehral]

*hugs* for feeling down and the evils of looming birthdays.

I miss having fannish stuff as well, like having something that just gets your mind bouncing around with ideas. I've had a bit of a resurgence of late but that's because I'm hideously addicted to landcomms and because I'm kind of trying to find a fandom to call my own. I wonder if it's just an age thing, I'm nowhere near being a silly teenager anymore. I don't have the energy for the whiplash emotional u-turns I had back then and I'm not as angry as I was but I wonder if that means I just don't feel as much and I just don't have the capacity to get as involved as I used to. *shrug* I don't know. But it would be nice to have a fandom. Or even a couple of people who I see regularly who like at least one of the shows I do.

[gwyn-r.livejournal.com]

I had to puzzle out landcomms! It took me a few minutes to figure out what that meant... clearly I am not keeping up with the current usages! ;-)

Yeah, I think even when you can just hang out once in a while with people who like the same things you do, it helps. I think that was hard for me with Justified -- there were people I know who liked it, but they're not really friends anymore, so I didn't have that chance to sit down and watch the shows over and over and just squee really hard.

[kerithwyn.livejournal.com]

I hug you! Gently, for your back. All of us who work on computers for a living are feeling the pain of the last 20 years, catching up with a vengeance.

You're not so far away...I'm sure we could gather up some folks for birthday shenanagins, if you'd like. Even quiet ones. :)

[gwyn-r.livejournal.com]

THank you! Yeah, I know I sit badly, too, which doesn't help my case. ;-)

I think that would be a capital idea! Do you think you're around Thanksgiving weekend? That's one of the hardest parts of dealing with my b-day -- even if I take my sister out of the equation, most people just aren't around or are busy with family at that time.

[kerithwyn.livejournal.com]

Bad sitters, all of us.

I am totally around Thanksgiving weekend! My husband and I gave up flying home for the holidays years ago and have the annual pig-out with friends. Much more congenial, and also convienent. So the rest of the weekend is wide open. :)

[kerithwyn.livejournal.com]

Back in town and snowed in--hope you're staying warm!

Any thoughts about this weekend (assuming we can get out of the house, which I can't today)? Husband is muttering about some weekend plans and those can be directed one day or another if I have other committments. Which I would still like to! :) Just let me know.

[gwyn-r.livejournal.com]

I might be driving up to Vancouver on Sunday, but I"m still a little hazy on when and which day (Sun or Mon). I am downtown on Saturday afternoon for a little while, don't know if you're around after that or not (I think my hair appt. is at like 1 or something), or if you'd want to get together...)

[kerithwyn.livejournal.com]

Saturday afternoon still works! Did you want to meet in the city, or...?

[anoel.livejournal.com]

I know what you mean about fan friends, they just add so much to life. I know how you feel about the birthday, all I can suggest is you do something you really love or something you haven't tried yet but would love to do. It can be anything, even if it's small.

Good luck on the job!

[gwyn-r.livejournal.com]

I think the hard part is just that whenever I do something I love, it's alone these days, which makes the part about my birthday being... well, my birthday, as opposed to our birthday, so much harder. No matter how alone I might have been before, if sis_r wasn't with me, I had her to talk to a couple times a day. It just feels overwhelmingly lonely. But enough about that! I need to hunker down and figure something out.