![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
gwynLast night I finally got a chance to watch Noel and oh my god what a horrible, horrible movie. Chazz Palmintieri deserves to be drawn and quartered for inflicting this on an unsuspecting public. Paul Walker was definitely beeyooteeful, as always (that guy is just not normal, no human being is that pretty; it's freakish) but I couldn't even bear to watch the Susan Sarandon parts, especially when she was with Robin Williams, and I adore Susan Sarandon. It wasn't even just that the story was unbearably treacly (and I like treacly!) and the dialog was unbelievably phony and bad, but just that everyone seemed to not have a clue what they were doing, and worse, for me, it tripped every single embarassment squick I have. I was cringing in agony and FFing through most of it, stopping only to watch Pretty Paul, but that was torturous enough because my god! That story with Alan Arkin!! Aaiiieeeee... shudder. That was the most horrifying cringe-fest I've ever had. I'd willingly watch Mrs. Doubtfire again over this. (I am tired of suffering for my actors. Two weeks ago I endured the horrendo The Mountain for James, which was excrutiating -- and that I'm already enduring for Mitch Pileggi; I'm putting my foot down now.)
The only thing that made it remotely worthwhile was the conversation with his partner about who the old guy was cruising. It amused me that finally a movie had two straight guys arguing over which one was most "look"-worthy. And also, it helps confirm my theory that PW and Vin Diesel are slash magnets and that's why they work so stunningly well together in Fast and the Furious. At least Vin has chemistry with women; poor Paul, though, can't even muster a spark with fiery Spaniard Penelope Cruz, though he did have at least a little more going on with her than his usual female co-stars.
It cracks me up to watch him -- they keep putting him in these romantic leading man roles and yet every single time he fails to generate any chemistry with his leading lady. Timeline may be the worst; he actually managed to create a sucking black hole of chemistry in that with whoever the chick was who played his girlfriend. For years my friends have commented on Kevin Sorbo's slash shield... hell, his chemistry shield, and I never understood what they were talking about till I watched Paul Walker in other movies: he's completely, utterly unable to generate any sparkage or heat heterosexually, but put him with certain types of male actors, and stand back!
Vin Diesel, I realized the other day, is even more of a slash magnet than Paul, not because he doesn't have het chemistry but because he seems to just generate heat with almost anyone he's playing opposite. (For instance, he had just as much sparkage with Radha Mitchell in Pitch Black as he had with Cole Hauser, and equally as much with the girl playing Jack and Claudia Black.) But especially with men: every live action role he's had since Multi-Facial brought him to people's attention has given him at least one great slashy relationship. Even in Saving Private Ryan, which he's only in for a short time, he's very strongly connected to Adam Goldberg's character, as well as Giovanni Ribisi's, and![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
mlyn wrote an excellent manifesto on Vin's Boiler Room character's relationship with Giovanni's character here (though her LJ is friends-locked, you can ask to be added). It was watching Knockaround Guys the other night again that made me realize that he's always got someone he can be slashy with in a movie; his scenes with Barry Pepper are quite intense, and I love that they drive off into the sunset together, leaving their old lives behind.
So the Fast and the Furious is not an anomaly for either one of them, but you throw their slash magnetism together and instead of getting repellant positive forces pushing them away from each other, the magnetism is doubled, at least. And both of them seem to be perfectly happy letting it happen, which is kind of amazing for male actors in Hollywood these days.
Anyway, this is what I waste my time thinking about. There are times I believe I should just give up the fic and spend all my time on the meta, because it's funner to watch than to do.
If I'm feeling down, I go out looking for pictures. I love this picture, for some strange reason, and I go look at it from time to time because it makes me peculiarly happy. Both the fact that Vin is squished inside the front of the car, which is in itself pretty high-larious, and also because Paul's jeans are down so low that we get a huge glimpse of his tighty-whities. And they're both listening so intently to their direction. Such cute boys. (Probably I am being bad by linking directly to the photo but it's not like 500 people are going to go look. http://vdg.bitdark.com/gallery/displayimage.php?album=14&pos=30 )
The only thing that made it remotely worthwhile was the conversation with his partner about who the old guy was cruising. It amused me that finally a movie had two straight guys arguing over which one was most "look"-worthy. And also, it helps confirm my theory that PW and Vin Diesel are slash magnets and that's why they work so stunningly well together in Fast and the Furious. At least Vin has chemistry with women; poor Paul, though, can't even muster a spark with fiery Spaniard Penelope Cruz, though he did have at least a little more going on with her than his usual female co-stars.
It cracks me up to watch him -- they keep putting him in these romantic leading man roles and yet every single time he fails to generate any chemistry with his leading lady. Timeline may be the worst; he actually managed to create a sucking black hole of chemistry in that with whoever the chick was who played his girlfriend. For years my friends have commented on Kevin Sorbo's slash shield... hell, his chemistry shield, and I never understood what they were talking about till I watched Paul Walker in other movies: he's completely, utterly unable to generate any sparkage or heat heterosexually, but put him with certain types of male actors, and stand back!
Vin Diesel, I realized the other day, is even more of a slash magnet than Paul, not because he doesn't have het chemistry but because he seems to just generate heat with almost anyone he's playing opposite. (For instance, he had just as much sparkage with Radha Mitchell in Pitch Black as he had with Cole Hauser, and equally as much with the girl playing Jack and Claudia Black.) But especially with men: every live action role he's had since Multi-Facial brought him to people's attention has given him at least one great slashy relationship. Even in Saving Private Ryan, which he's only in for a short time, he's very strongly connected to Adam Goldberg's character, as well as Giovanni Ribisi's, and
mlyn wrote an excellent manifesto on Vin's Boiler Room character's relationship with Giovanni's character here (though her LJ is friends-locked, you can ask to be added). It was watching Knockaround Guys the other night again that made me realize that he's always got someone he can be slashy with in a movie; his scenes with Barry Pepper are quite intense, and I love that they drive off into the sunset together, leaving their old lives behind. So the Fast and the Furious is not an anomaly for either one of them, but you throw their slash magnetism together and instead of getting repellant positive forces pushing them away from each other, the magnetism is doubled, at least. And both of them seem to be perfectly happy letting it happen, which is kind of amazing for male actors in Hollywood these days.
Anyway, this is what I waste my time thinking about. There are times I believe I should just give up the fic and spend all my time on the meta, because it's funner to watch than to do.
If I'm feeling down, I go out looking for pictures. I love this picture, for some strange reason, and I go look at it from time to time because it makes me peculiarly happy. Both the fact that Vin is squished inside the front of the car, which is in itself pretty high-larious, and also because Paul's jeans are down so low that we get a huge glimpse of his tighty-whities. And they're both listening so intently to their direction. Such cute boys. (Probably I am being bad by linking directly to the photo but it's not like 500 people are going to go look. http://vdg.bitdark.com/gallery/displayimage.php?album=14&pos=30 )
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2004-12-02 12:52 pm (UTC)But that said, I watch movies with Paul in them just to see how wonderfully slashy he is with others and the scene with him and his partner talking about who was the most lookworthy -- splorfle! And the scenes with Alan Arkin were ...oddly sweet.
But yes, you are so on about that chemestry thing. Vin has that whole "sexual omnivore" vibe, but Paul ... "two beer queer" every. single. time.
And speaking of your whole "watch out!" factor, I'd love a movie with Adam Baldwin and Paul or Vin.
no subject
Date: 2004-12-02 02:19 pm (UTC)Ay yi yi!!! OMG, Adam's like one of my earliest heartthrobs. If he was in a movie with Vin it would be a muscle explosion and would kill me dead.
no subject
Date: 2004-12-02 02:21 pm (UTC)You say that like it's a bad thing.
no subject
Date: 2004-12-02 01:10 pm (UTC)All I know is that I really hope that if there will be a FAF3 that both Vin and Paul are in it because it won't be the same otherwise. Well, then again, I'm sure there will be some guy in it that Vin is magnetically drawn to.
I've never seen that pic before....so cute!
no subject
Date: 2004-12-02 02:24 pm (UTC)I just hate thinking of yet another F&F movie without them together. It's just wrong, it causes me pain.
no subject
Date: 2004-12-02 10:07 pm (UTC)Thank you for putting this so concisely--I've decided that some things are better when it's just about a strong friendship, not sex. I think Saving Private Ryan is a good example of that, even if Carpy and Fish (omg aquatic pairing!) DO make kissy faces at each other. The movie's subject matter is too serious for sex, imo. Tame comfort fic, okay. *G*
no subject
Date: 2004-12-02 06:44 pm (UTC)Thanks for sharing the picture - very very nice. Can see *exactly* why it makes you happy.
no subject
Date: 2004-12-02 10:10 pm (UTC)Also, yeah. Inhumanely pretty. His eyes GLOW, ferchrissakes.
The panties shot! Hee hee!
And thank you for the lovely rec.
no subject
Date: 2004-12-03 11:17 am (UTC)I thought it was amazing that PW actually had some zip with every other guy -- the son, the dad, the partner, the nurse -- than he did with PC. What a guy.
no subject
Date: 2004-12-03 01:39 pm (UTC)Our own little slutty woobie. Such a trooper!
no subject
Date: 2004-12-03 09:51 am (UTC)I first read your post yesterday, which resulted in the overwhelming urge to re-watch F&F, but remembered I didn't buy it. (It was, after all, a pretty predictable remake of Point Break (which was a remake of something else, wasn't it?).) And I haven't really appreciated PW until now. So I settled for watching Pitch Black. Well, really, *listening* to Pitch Black while reading pr0ny fanfic on vindieselfanfic.com, which vastly enhanced the stories.
Why is is, do you think, that we've not yet seen Vin in any movies with gratuitous sex? Is it a conscious decision, to heighten his mysterious allure? Or is he just shy? (I've heard from various places on the internet that he prefers men, but I wouldn't think that would be a factor -- it is, after all, acting. I mean, Rock Hudson was quite the ladies' man in his movies.) Do you think maybe it's that he wants to be taken more seriously as an actor, and is consequently avoiding such roles? Inquiring minds want to know!
no subject
Date: 2004-12-03 11:28 am (UTC)But I don't know abut the sex part -- maybe just because he's so focused on being the action star guy that he hasn't had roles where that was prevalent? I mean, I was glad they cut the scene with the pole dancer scene in XXX because I just did not want to watch it. It would have been irrelevant. And it's clear to me that he hasn't had the big tutorial in screen kissing yet, so maybe that's another factor (screen kissing is more complex than RL kissing, from what my actor friends have told me). He does have a lot of lovey-dovey stuff in A Man Apart -- have you seen that? And more romanticy, in a way -- a sunset beach salsa dance, lots of smooching, that kind of stuff. But she's gone early on. And he has some brief smoochy scenes with Michelle Rodriguez in F&F and with Asia Argento in XXX... so it's hard to say.
I would put money on there being some kind of romance in The Pacifier, since it's a comedy. I remember reading a funny story about him that Ben Affleck told from when they were roomies, about him having this written-out five year plan for becoming an action movie star. I think in some respects he just has always picked his projects for things that wouldn't get him there. (He got booted off Reindeer Games and he would have had LOTS of sex with Charlize Theron if he'd stayed!) More's the pity. I want to see more of that luscious bod!