Something is wrong here...

[gwyn]

I've finished another vid. In less than four days since I finished the last one (which I think only five people cared about, so I suppose maybe another vid would be good because it's so depressing to be all "look at my cool new vid" and be met with resounding disinterest -- poor La Femme Nikita, no one cares if you have cool new vids in your fandom). Which is some kind of new world land-speed record for me.

Admittedly it was a movie vid, so that means your capture time for clips is lightning fast, but everything just fell into place really quickly. It's not a great vid, in the sense that I think the LFN vid I posted on Monday is a *good* vid with a story and layers and nice effects and it looks visually interesting (and killabeez called it stunning! which kind of makes up for all the disinterest because, dude, Killa said it was cool!) and I'm rather pleased with it. But this Ocean's 11 thing was going to be a quickie, I knew that, and even though I'm not that big an Ocean's 11 fan, Rusty and Danny kind of ended up speaking to me and now I'm all "OMGtheirloveissopure" about them. It's a mindless, peppy little vid, kind of like lightly salted lime tortilla chips, with just a hint of flavor and they won't fill you up but they taste okay.

I have to have one of the people I made it for beta it before I post it, but otherwise with minor tweaks, I will be able to call it done. Then I go to sherrold's house on Sunday to work on digitally remastering the best of our old Cannibals vids for the Professionals (yes! we're starting!). It's vids-o-rama.

Why can't I do this with writing?

The judge in California who was hearing our probate motion actually changed the game on us at the last minute and upped the bond my dad had to post to be executor of my sister's estate from the standard $10,000 to $20,000, so now we won't officially have charge of it until mid-week next week, when I'm scheduled to go down there to start clearing out the house. I asked Dad what could happen if they don't approve it, the fuckers (i am starting to understand why people shoot judges), and he said, well, the worst they could do is throw him in jail. I can't believe that when someone is at the worst, most painful time of their life, some asshat with too much time on his hands would decide to make that person even more miserable by changing the rules on them at the last moment. It's not bad enough you're grieving and in pain, you also have to deal with shit like this.

Comments

[kassrachel.livejournal.com]

I wish I could remember who it was, but somebody on my flist -- whose opinion I respect, vidwise -- was raving about your new LFN vid the other day.

:-)

[gwyn-r.livejournal.com]

Well, hey, at least that means someone else saw it!

[fishsanwitt]

::hugs::

[kirbyfest.livejournal.com]

Why in the world would they change the rules? Morons.

And, FYI, I downloaded your LFN vid and have simply not had time to watch it properly. I like to give your lovely vids the full attention they deserve, and this has not been the week for that. :)

[gwyn-r.livejournal.com]

I get that -- so you are one of the half-dozen people my stats show as having DLed it! ;-) It's such a sad little fandom -- so much cool material to work with, but so little interest at large in watching vids in it. I hold my fellow LFN fans close to my little heart -- we're small, but we're proud!

[kadymae.livejournal.com]

Why can't I do this with writing?

Flip Answer:
Because, like, duh, that would be convenient and practical.

Serious Technical Answer:

Although writing fiction and vidding have certain things in common, the parts of the brain that come into play are probably somewhat different.

Why *that* makes a difference, I have no idea.

Anyhow, keep vidding. :)

[gwyn-r.livejournal.com]

For the past few weeks, I've looked a lot like Snoopy when he does that vulture pose -- all hunched over, furrowed brow, intently staring at the computer, ready to pounce. It's been very odd. But there's something about struggling to place visuals and match beats and find the exact right image that seems to be somewhat autistically comforting.

[paris7am.livejournal.com]

Gwyn,

I *did* download your LFN vid, and truly - loved it. It's awful of me that I didn't get back to tell *you* how great it was! Thank you for yet another wonderful LFN vid.

The special effects were fabulous - not sure how to describe them - but they certainly made for a candylicious viewing and listening experience. Really enjoyed your clip choices too - powerful, symbolic and beautiful.

I keep hoping that vidding will hit the LFN fandom, especially with the dvd releases. Oh, and the mention of Pros Vids? Wheeee! I am one who, completely selfishly, is glad that vidding is helping you and working for you right now...

[gwyn-r.livejournal.com]

No, I'm just glad to know that someone saw it! Even if it was negative crit, I'd still be glad just to know that people went to watch it -- I'm still having a lot of trouble mentally ajusting myself to this online thing. Before, we'd all make the vids and then compile a tape and release a tape collection, and people would come running. YOu had an idea of how many people might have seen your vids. But now... there's so much out there, and few people who are interested in LFN, that it's like throwing paper confetti out into the wind. You just have no sense that there's any itnerest at all -- and let's face it, LFN ain't the happening fandom. Those people don't know what they're missing, though!

I realize now I made it sound like we're remastering all the Pros vids, but we're only doing the one, A Fire is Burning, right now. It's possible we could do others, but I figure it's unlikely just because of the work involved. Fire is our best, I think, and one that shouldn't be lost to time.

And finally, preeeeety Mikey icon!

[paris7am.livejournal.com]

"Fire" is one that I don't have - I'm over the moon that you're remastering it!

I have drifted out of the lfn-dom, and there's only a smattering of it on LJ that I can find. There still are very active boards - Michael's Retreat comes to mind - and some people who are making vids - but not many. I had a surge of Roy love recently and posted here (http://www.livejournal.com/users/paris7am/24048.html?nc=27) about it, with links to media and lfn vids. Just after that there was a thread on metafandom about vidding, where I started a conversation with another lfn-er about vids which continued at my journal... I think that with the dvds plus a few vocal fans, vidding could take off. (I feel like an evangelist or something)

In the end, I'm so thankful for the ones we do have, for all the thought and effort you put into it, for the love it inspires. Sending you much love.

[mystic-savage.livejournal.com]

Dumbass f**king stupid squarehead cocks**ker judge (yeah, I've been watching Deadwood). Did they give any justification for it? Not that there could be a good one. Or does some jerkoff bureacrat budgeteer need more bucks?

I downloaded your LFN vid and watched it again--you're right about the layers--and I love it. Also, looks like I may be able to get childcare for Saturday, so will go write then, even if J, La & DrU aren't there. Ptr may be there too.

[gwyn-r.livejournal.com]

If I'm feeling mentally adjusted, I might show up -- I hope I can, maybe even if I just show up for chai, or something... though they never make it the way I want it. ;-)

[mlyn.livejournal.com]

I've been meaning to download your LFN vid, but have had other things on my mind. I figure, mine is the least interesting voice of opinion, considering I'm not even *in* the fandom.

OTOH, I had to struggle not to call you tonight regarding yet another F&F vid idea. If you feel like doing a vid for that fandom (and it'd be *really* original), lemme know and I'll email you.

[gwyn-r.livejournal.com]

I do still want to do another F&F vid, but gawd... since I did Stripped, it feels like there's such a big overkill on vids for the movie in those intervening 9 months, and there was yet another one shown at Connexions recently, though I don't know if it's online or available anywhere... and I have no idea if it was bad or good since no one I know has really reported on it. I know Zoe Rayne is also working on one, so I just kind of feel like I would be adding to the beating of a dead horse. I really want to make *my* vid, but I just... I'm not sure the world needs another one. Even if most of them are badly done, and even if you just watched the handful of good ones, you still risk overkill... I don't know. Maybe I'll change my mind later.

[sdwolfpup.livejournal.com]

I'm glad the Ocean's 11 vid turned out easily. I think like others have said, don't force the writing. When you're ready, you'll write again.

And damn that judge. I can't believe it even has to get to that level. It's atrocious what you're having to put up with in the middle of your grief.

[gwyn-r.livejournal.com]

Yeah, i really would like to give that moron a piece of my mind, but dad says I need to wait at least six months. ;-) Then he will get a scathing letter.

[keiko-kirin.livejournal.com]

I'm very much excited to see the Ocean's 11 vid! I haven't been able to download the LFN vid w/my dial-up connection yet. I was going to try again this weekend. *crosses fingers*

[gwyn-r.livejournal.com]

Ack, don't even try to DL a vid with dialup! I was uploading them that way till about three months ago, and it took most of my lifetime -- I could feel the grey hairs growing as I waited. Too much trouble!

Can you DL them at KM's, by any chance? If you're going there anytime soon, that might work out, and hopefully I'll be able to post the O11 vid tomorrow, so you could get them in one fell swoop. Also, I could send you DVD... hey little girl, want some DVD?

[smithereen.livejournal.com]

I DLed the LFN vid, and about 4 others too. Have to DL at work and watch at home cause I only have high-speed at work.

I really, really liked the LFN vid. I know zero about vids. Never made one...no idea what goes into it. And haven't even seen that many because although I really enjoy watching them there is the dial-up issue. So I can't give you really coherent, useful feedback.

But I do know that I loved the way you used the song, which felt perfect for the show and for them by the way. And especially the way you created that effect in the vid where there's a...gah...I hate not having the words to talk effectively about this stuff...but a skip in the image almost? Where it repeats the action in time with that echo-y sort of effect in the music? Anyway, I guess you know what I'm talking about. But it created this sense for me of slipping away. The vid really captured for me that aspect of Michael and Nikita's relationship where they keep slipping through each other fingers. The way you put it together, and that effect in particular really resonated with me because I could see the almost connecting, almost getting it together, almost making it to happy together, and then there's that slip, the stutter and it's gone again. I'm not sure if that's what you wanted me to get out of it, but I really liked it, and it felt very true and slippery and bittersweet.

I also noticed, I'm not sure if this was intentional or if I'm even remembering properly...should rewatch it...but it seemed like all of those little repeats were played on an image of Nikita, and then at the end one of them was Michael and Adam. So while I was watching, that one really stood out to me. And if felt to me like a reversal the way the show reversed their places, where for a long time Nikita was the warmth and the human spirit that was not crushed by Section and Michael embodied Section's coldness. And then by the end of the show Michael cared only about the people he loved, abandoned Section, and after everything he was the one who escaped. Anyway that choice really struck me, and added to the truth of the vid for me in terms of it being so much a portrayal of the Michael/Nikita relationship that I could recognize and respond to on a gut level.

[gwyn-r.livejournal.com]

I can't give you really coherent, useful feedback.

Surely you jest! This is like... wow. I mean, this is the kind of meta level "getting it" that a vidder rarely gets to ever hear about, and it's very very cool. That disconnect in the images and the disconnect in their relationship is very much what I wanted to convey and it's really wonderful to hear when someone does pick up on that, and you expressed it very well, too -- especially this:

And if felt to me like a reversal the way the show reversed their places, where for a long time Nikita was the warmth and the human spirit that was not crushed by Section and Michael embodied Section's coldness. And then by the end of the show Michael cared only about the people he loved, abandoned Section, and after everything he was the one who escaped.

That's such a perfect summary of how the show developed, and what went wrong with the original season 4 series ending, and why S5 ending was more true to the characters and the show. They're not together, and Nikita is now Section, but you know that she will change it, and you know they will be together again... but they're different people, and they will have new problems to deal with.

Thanks for this -- I'm just glad to know other people have taken a look at it, but such lovely feedback is a huge bonus!

[ms-artisan.livejournal.com]

If it helps at all its not lack of interest on my part, just a horribly slow dial-up connection that leaves me staring longingly at any downloads over 10mb.

Funnily enough, if I think about it, those I still know in LFN-dom (not a huge sample, admittedly) are mostly dial-up users too, so that might explain your feeling of lack of interest.

[gwyn-r.livejournal.com]

That's interesting -- it makes sense, too, since LFN was always this kind of feral fandom, sort of out there and apart from much of the rest of media fandom, and when the show was over, a lot of people disappeared from any participation. So not having high-speed would make sense since online life probably isn't much of a priority -- also, I know that vids really did not make any inroad into this fandom at all. There is a really small cluster of people who make or watch, but it's infinitely smaller than any other fandom I know. (And heck, I myself only got high speed recently because I had to for work.)

I do have this on a DVD, as well as all my old LFN vids. I offer all the time, but people rarely ever take me up on it -- they're free for a postage paid self addressed envelope.

[rainkatt.livejournal.com]

So I'm finally at home, on the right computer, and avoiding other things I should be doing here... and I downloaded the LFN vid, and... wow. I'm not coherent with the feedback, but it was just so perfect a reflection of the way they were, and it really brought out how much she changed. It was also so obvious that she loved him and how impossible it was for both of them. At the end, she's left alone and in charge, while he has escaped, but it seemed clear that she'd do something to get him back into her life. Now I want to watch the whole series again... argh.

Re: the judge. Idiot. I can't understand how doing that was going to accomplish anything good. Idiot.

But glad that the vidding is going well...

[gwyn-r.livejournal.com]

What an adorable icon! Is that you?

I'm so glad you liked it! You're one of the few people I've met through Buffy fandom who knew the show so it's thrilling to have your viewpoint on it. I do so love those thwarted love stories. Sigh.

Thank you for the lovely comments!

[rainkatt.livejournal.com]

Yes, that's me, the last time I was ever cute... ;-)

I have you to thank for getting my friend alh hooked on LFN. She watched your vids with me when she was here last summer, and loved Atom Bomb so much that she asked to see the DVDs. We watched two or three, and when she got home, she bought season 1. I can't remember whether I told you that or not. Anyhow, now I have. I'm also going to steer her to your latest vid.

[labellamafia494.livejournal.com]

I've just sent you more detailed feedback by email, so I'll just repeat here that it was an amazingly wonderful vid that I couldn't possibly praise enough. And I hope there are more to come, *g*.

Disinterest? Wha? Just wait until I point a million people this way that will get addicted in a matter of seconds.