Teefs

[gwyn]

WTF? feochadn and I were watching a Damian Lewis movie (and the Chuck episode that has her great love, Arnold Vosloo, in it that I saved for her) and eating red beans and rice with andouille sausage when I crunched into this really hard thing. I fished it out of my mouth, and thought it was possibly a piece of bone from the sausage (gross, but yeah, not entirely unexpected). A bit later I realized it was part of my molar. I was eating red beans and rice! The only thing softer is gruel! It's a pretty hefty section of the crown on my left middle molar, and that crown caused me so much hideous pain and suffering that I can't believe I'm going to have to have it worked on again.

Also, I have no insurance, and no money. This will be lots of fun. Because it's also property tax month. I really do wonder why I chose to try freelancing sometimes. I fail at life and finding work. Gah.

The funny thing about all this is that I'm acutely conscious right now of my spending and lack of income. The other night I went over to jarrow's to have him do a budget spreadsheet for me, which he loves to do (you too can have one for the mere cost of $10! ask me how), and even though I thought my extremely peculiar situation would stump him completely, he still managed to put one together where I could at least track what I owe and what I'm paying out in bills and regular life expenses. It's really cool, but also for me a bit dispiriting because I have let myself get into a position of owing money on a credit card, and while it's not like what most people have in terms of debt, for me it seems impossible and untenable. I have never been one to accumulate debts and things. But he has encouraged me by telling me his budget helped him dig himself out of a big hole, so...

I just don't know exactly what I'm going to do about this freaking tooth. It feels really weird. Not painful yet, but if more comes off it, it'll be a bare stump of nerves. ::shudders::

We heard today that those of on the waiting list could register for VVC for realz, but now I just don't know what to do. I think I may finally have enough miles to fly Alaska for free, but... I just don't know.

Comments

[sdwolfpup.livejournal.com]

Oh no, that sounds terrible. I am not sure what to suggest so I will just give you *hugs*.

I know what you mean about the debt being scary and overwhelming. I am, for different reasons, in much the same situation right now and we just re-did our budget this weekend to cease my generalized freaking out. Heh. Knowing where I stand monetarily helps give me a feeling of control of what's going on at least. I hope your budget helps you, too!

Good luck with the VVC decision; if you DON'T go, we'll be having a day of vid-watching here in Seattle for those left behind, so let me know if you stay and I'll make sure you're invited. :)

[par-avion.livejournal.com]

Good luck with the dentist. *has no advice*

I would (selfishly) love for you to come to VVC!

[gwyn-r.livejournal.com]

I think that lately, it's been so hard because I got that way over stuff for the house and other lame things, but then when it came time to deal with the stuff I needed (like, not coming apart underwear or bras, cat care, and so on), I had this huge (well, to me) debt that I didn't really pay attention to, and it hinders being able to do the stuff you need.

One thing I did today was to cash in some of the points I earned on my biggest card to get gift cards for a few things I know I will need. That way I can buy it out of the extras I got for charging up such a storm!

Mostly I just feel so hopeless. It doesn't seem solvable, with my sporadic income and FAIL in life.