(no subject)

[gwyn]

I had just started checking my flists the instant the Vividcon announcement was posted, and so for a while I was just sitting there in shock and sadness and of course no one was posting about it because it had just happened. I spent the rest of the day just being miserable and sad, finally checked back and there had been some reactions. Seems like a lot of people are "shrug, whatever" and fine with it, but I am not. When your life is pretty shitty, having something to look forward to, people you love and only get to see in one or two places a year, is important, and this means I'll never again see a lot of people who mean very much to me, after next year's con. This fannish thing is something I'm stuck with, I've always been one and I will always be one, and having places to participate with that is incredibly important to me. And yeah, okay, I understand what they're saying (although I can't help wondering if an every-other-year format wouldn't help, I don't know), but it still feels very much like I'm/we're losing Sandy and Zen and Abby all over again, and that really fucking hurts.

On the other hand, I had a laugh yesterday when I got a notification that one of the fic translations I'd mentioned in my last post actually was posted; I really had given up on all of these things because it had been soooo long. If you ever wanted to read Your 21st-Century Boy in Russian/Русский, this is now a thing you can do! It's really fascinating to me how fans translate fic, especially things that have cultural nuances and idioms that might not be easily translated, and it was fun talking to secretlytodream about the "takes a village" approach she used to make sure she was getting everything right.

These kinds of things, I guess, are why I will always be a fangirl, even when I'm not really into anything in particular.

Comments

[sperrywink]

{{{hugs}}}

Yeah, I just saw that announcement today. :-(

I never made it to VVC, but I always did want to go. Unfortunately this isn't the year for it, so I guess I am out of time.

[gwyn]

No, the last one's next year. Maybe you can join us in 2018. Would love to see you.

[killabeez]

I saw your translation announcement, and it prompted me to realize that E. might really enjoy reading it. I sent it to her, and I wish you'd been here as she read it! She laughed out loud, giggled to herself, quoted specific lines to me (which prompted me to go re-read it myself), and commented a couple of times that it was hot. ;) Generally speaking, I think she adored it.

I am sad about VVC, but I wasn't surprised—in fact, I'm grateful there's going to be another year. I half-expected them to announce at the con that it was the last one, and I'd never have another chance.

[gwyn]

That was so sweet of her--and you! Honestly, it still boggles my mind that that's the thing that has the most kudos on AO3. But I'm so glad you both found something amusing in it. ♥

Yeah, I mean, I can't complain that we at least have some warning, unlike a lot of fannish things. It's just another huge hole in my life.

[kass]

I hear you. I will always be a fangirl too, even though right now I feel like I'm not a fan "of" much. Still, there's a way of being in the world, a way of relating to media, and most importantly a way of relating to the people who've come into my life via fandom over the last 18 years -- those things will always be part of who I am.

[gwyn]

Yeah. I've had a lot of ups and downs, fallow periods and ones of great productiveness, but ever since I found media fandom and realized this was who I was, it's been my identity. I don't have a lot of other strong identity things, so fan is my biggest one.

[kass]

Hey, are you staying over Sunday night at VVC this year? I am, for the first time in eons. If you will be there that night I would love to make dinner plans...?

*hug*

[gwyn]

Yes, I am (I'm hanging around in Chicago again for a few days after, to spend time with a friend). Put me down for Sunday, definitely. I'll very likely be hanging around you, skulking and lurking, desperate, so be prepared.

[aurumcalendula]

That announcement was a shock to me. I know I just got into vidding/ became aware of Vividcon, but I’d assumed that Vividcon would keep being a thing…

[gwyn]

Hey if you're going this year, I might be able to bring discs to give you--I still haven't checked everything over, but it's entirely possible that I'll have those discs available. At the very least I'll be able to give you a copy of the digital remasters, for sure.

[aurumcalendula]

I'm planning on going this year (assuming some job stuff works out).

[batwrangler]

Wait, what?!

[gwyn]

Yeah. Next year will be the last one.

[destina]

I am and will always be a fangirl. And a vidder, even if I don't vid. And a fanfic writer, even if I barely write fanfic. For probably five years now, I've been going to VVC just to see you and others - not because the vids were wowing me. VVC has not felt like a welcoming space for me (subjectively) the last few years. That might explain why my reaction was sort of...well, it's time. I hope a similar con can continue in a vidding-only format. Anyway, I have a LOT to say about VVC and fan cons and events and such, and I am determined for us to have that conversation over drinks and a nice steak at VVC. Pick the evening, my friend. *g* . <3

[gwyn]

I have seen a lot of reactions on my flist that are, I think, much more in line with yours, which I guess surprised me a lot, though in hindsight it probably shouldn't have. I think the level of my reaction is more unusual, but I also think more people probably have stuff going on in their lives than I do-- cons, even when they don't do it for me much beyond seeing people, are really the one time I get to have a little minivacation and just…be around people who get me for the most part, be around people I enjoy. And I know that's a me thing--that I don't have a fam or a partner, that sort of thing, which is my own issue and not something I should expect something outside to fill.

I know you usually have some people you have standard meetups with, most of the people I usually do aren't coming this year so I'm actually pretty free myself, and I can work around your schedule--I would like to hear your thinky thoughts. I get in on Thursday late afternoon, and I'm staying in Chicago for a few days afterward so I'll be there on Sunday night as well.

[franzeska]

But I'm nosy and want to know your thoughts too. :(

;)

[grammarwoman]

The announcement is pulling on me like gravity - the more I think about it, the more upset I get. And I still feel like a n00b, and like I don't have the right to be upset about it compared to everyone who's been going ages longer than me, and yeah, downwards feelings spiral. :(

[gwyn]

Nah, I think anyone who's enjoyed it and loves vids has every right to feel how they feel. Gravity is a good word for it. Every time I think about it, I feel like I'm just being pulled down into the black.

[kirbyfest]

I was sorry to hear this. Cons ending (or changing substantially) definitely alter the patterns of who you get to see in real space, and that's a shame.

I had stopped going a while ago for personal reasons (that you're aware of and that you know I don't discuss in unlocked posts), but I think I'd have drifted from it regardless. It was fun to see people like you and others, and Abby back in the day (I still miss her so much), but as a non-vidder it felt increasingly less like a con for me. But I liked having it out there, and I'm sorry that it won't be any more.

Perhaps for the last year they'd consider selling passes to parts of the weekend? I can't go the whole weekend, but would love to pop in for part(s) of it.

[kirbyfest]

And also, I'm out of town this year for the con so can't even come up for lunch or something. I'll try hard to be in town next year and get up there, to see you and others.

[gwyn]

I would really really love to see you. Unless I have a dire emergency, there's no way they're going to stop me from being in Chicago next year. :-D

[kirbyfest]

We will definitely plan on something next year.

[kore]

//hugs Yeah, that's a wrench, even though I've never been. The announcement said "high quality vids can be easily downloaded online," so maybe someone could possibly do a virtual version? idk, it just seems like more smaller fan-run conventions are struggling as the big corporate ones that can afford lots of perks &c &c grow.

[gwyn]

Yeah, I joked with someone that oh look, another thing we can blame millennials for. But I think that a lot of younger fans and just newer fans of any age don't know about the legacy of fan run cons, they only understand cons as being these corporate things designed to part you with thousands of dollars.

[franzeska]

Aww. Fangirl for life! I don't think that's unusual, nor is a lack of a partner, etc. I think people aren't more upset because 1. it's happened before with other cons people held dear and 2. that new con looks appealing. VVC is something special, true, but the best parts of it for a lot of people seem to be CVV and Premieres and seeing friends, so if another con starts having a fantastic dance party, has a vidshow, and could attract the same crowd...

But, dude, I am so looking forward to showing you my grad school shit. I just got back from a table read of my second thesis, and the actors kept bursting out laughing at our ridiculous Miami Vice parody scenes. It was great.

[gwyn]

There's...definitely a lot to parody in Vice, for sure.

[elz]

I'm feeling very "rage, rage against the dying of the light" about fandom in general lately, as I'm trying to pull myself out of a rather steep depression. I'm still trying to figure out how to channel that productively, but we used to have all these amazing communities and shared passions, and now it feels like a lot of that has sort of crumbled into the sea, and dammit, if the world is going to hell, we should at least have a few nice respites from it. I guess there was a certain cynicism about the era when vidshows were all Buffy or all Supernatural and so on, but that was my kind of fandom - the deep dive, the shared passion, the "I will happily watch 30 vids of the same source material because I love it so and I want to see all your takes on it." Maybe we're just so oversaturated with media nowadays that it dilutes that sense of commonality and shared love because everyone's doing their own thing on their own schedule. For me, that seems like it might be more of an issue than the ability to download vids, which really you've been able to for as long as VVC has been around.

[gwyn]

Yeah. And VVC honestly was a lot of WHY I vidded in many cases; without that impetus I doubt I will do it much. Escapade and maybe something for that future con, who knows.

[franzeska]

Yeah... I didn't find the thing about being able to download vids very compelling either. Cons have curation, or when they don't, they have people who are eager to show their vids to that audience. Even when they're dreadful, there's something special about it.

[bond_girl]

It's a shame that Vividcon is soon to be no more. Cons aren't my thing, but it's a nice thought that people with our kind of interests can hang out together like that. Maybe another event will come along?

I didn't know you knew Loki (secretlytodream)! She did a fab translation job in case you're wondering :))

[gwyn]

Yeah--I'm really sad that a lot of people don't know that not all cons have to be huge corporate events that are designed to cost you thousands and that all we have as fans to get excited about is what they feed us, and getting to see our heartthrobs. They don't know about the community of smaller fan run cons. Which of course is why they're disappearing.

[anoel]

Yeah, I'm not fine with it either. I feel the same way that since my life is usually pretty shitty and to have that place where I can always look forward to it and see my people and feel happy is SO important to me so it really hurts to have it taken away. And I'm not just stuck with this fannish thing but having vidding be my main outlet and passion in regards to it since I'm not a fic person so having a vidding con to feel at home meant a lot to me. It really does feel like losing a family member.

I'm so sorry you're hurting as well and I'm always here for you if you ever need any support or anything at all *hugs*

[minim_calibre]

I am so not okay about this. :(

[spasticat]

When you're in town for Vividcon let's try and do lunch, okay? I miss you.